Speak Shame

At 13, Madeleine Black was gang-raped. For decades, shame kept her silent, but she came to realise: the shame was never hers to carry. In this powerful episode, Dr Connie is joined by two-time TEDx speaker and author of Unbroken, Madeleine Black, who made the extraordinary decision to forgive the men who raped her – not for them, but for herself.

Madeleine shares her journey from trauma, silence, and a psychiatric ward at 14, to writing her book and speaking on global stages about sexual violence and shame. Expect a raw, honest conversation about healing, forgiveness, finding your voice, and wh...

What happens when the place you ran to for safety becomes the source of your greatest harm?

In Episode 32 of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali is joined by Chioma Alade, UK clergy, cult and sexual abuse specialist, and founder of By Fourteen. Chioma grew up in an abusive home and found what she believed was safety in the church, only to be groomed and sexually abused by her Sunday school teacher for over a decade. She didn't recognise it as abuse until she was 30.

In this powerful conversation, Chioma opens up about the culture of...

"Where is this guy? I want to be rescued. And then I realised: No one is coming to save me."

In Episode 31 of Speak Shame, author Sacha Hughes shares her journey from self-sabotage to self-love and how she turned her pain into a published novel.

 When Sacha was 24, her mum died of cancer. She turned to Pinot Grigio to numb the grief. For years, she believed Mr. Right would rescue her from the depths of despair. When that marriage ended in divorce, she had a choice: sink or rise.

 She chose to...

"You don't have to explain your ambition. You can just be ambitious."

In episode 30 of Speak Shame, journalist and author Rachel Hartigan shares her journey from feeling like an imposter in journalism to writing a book that unravels one of history's greatest mysteries: Amelia Earhart's disappearance.

Rachel spent 12 years at National Geographic covering everything from genetic potatoes to the long road to women's suffrage. But it was two expeditions to a remote Pacific island – searching for traces of Amelia Earhart – that led her to write Lost: Amelia Earhart's Three Mysterious Deaths and One Extr...

In this inspiring episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali interviews Jennifer Schroeder, who at 58 was told her skills were “obsolete” and faced systemic age bias after hundreds of rejections. Jennifer recounts a planned 15-minute meeting where she was threatened with a performance improvement plan or severance, describing shock, shame, anger, and an out-of-body feeling, followed by months of replaying the event and noticing earlier signs like being excluded from meetings. Needing income, she tried various jobs while recovering for 12–18 months. She later posted videos on LinkedIn and TikTok, sparking thousands of responses from others experiencing similar discrimination, and grew T...

In this episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali is joined by Dr. Jenn (Jennifer Noble), a licensed psychologist and parent coach specialising in children, teens, identity development, and the mixed-race population, and founder of Free to Be Collective. Dr Jenn shares her early life in Santa Monica shaped by diversity and international travel, and discusses her own mixed-race identity (African American and Sri Lankan Tamil) and how being read as Black influenced her understanding of perception and identity. She describes recognising a gap when mixed-race adults at community events revealed they had never processed identity with their parents...

Dr Connie Kerali has a powerful conversation with the remarkable, Neelu, a business coach and single mother of four, about domestic violence, coercive control, financial abuse, and marital rape within a 17-year marriage. Neelu shares growing up in a conservative Muslim family, being pushed toward marriage from her teens, and recognising dysfunction through motherhood and learning healthier parenting. She describes escalating control by her husband and in-laws, neglect during pregnancies, coerced pregnancies, and isolation, alongside family toxicity, stigma around mental health, and being treated as “crazy” after seeking therapy and Prozac for clinical depression. After repeated broken promises, failed coup...

In this episode of Speak Shame we discuss sexual violence, attempted suicide, and eating disorders and with support links are provided below. Dr Connie interviews Poonnamme, a Sikh woman raised between the UK and Punjab, with over 35 years in health and social care, who now also facilitates Kundalini Shakti activation. She shares how being the first-born girl and only child brought intense pressure tied to family honour and community expectations, including expectations around education and status. She describes being sexually assaulted at 17 by someone known to the family and a subsequent attempted suicide. She shares that at 18 she entered...

In this week’s episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali speaks with Vasavi Kumar, licensed therapist, mindset coach, voice actor, TV host, and author of Say It Out Loud. Vasavi shares how she began to stop doubting herself and regain trust in her voice by developing an “immaculate” inner narrative - one that is kind, encouraging, and safe - so that external criticism no longer carries the same weight. She explains how her work has evolved over 15 years alongside her own personal growth, and how sharing the truth with emotion and precision helps her connect with clients who are on...

In this episode, host Dr Connie Kerali interviews Faith Aisien-Ezugwu, author of the poetry and spoken word book 'I Am Here' and host of the 'Re: Series' podcast. Faith shares her journey from growing up in Nigeria and overcoming feelings of inadequacy and being labeled a 'failure' as a child, to her successful career in business and events management. She discusses her struggles with dyslexia, the emotional challenges she faced, and how therapy helped her find self-compassion and self-worth. Faith offers advice to listeners on believing in themselves, recognising their strengths, and seeking the support they need. She also...

In this week's episode, Dr Connie Kerali interviews Emily Silva Hockstra, a five-time author and spiritual life coach. Emily shares her journey from an anxiety-ridden child to a successful author and coach. She discusses her personal experiences, including suffering a miscarriage at 18, transitioning from a corporate career to wine tasting, and eventually pursuing her passion for writing full-time. Emily delves into the profound impact of grief and shame on her life after a diagnosis of primary ovarian insufficiency meant that she was unable to conceive, detailing how therapy, yoga, and self-discovery have been crucial in her healing journey. She...

In this week's episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali interviews Dr. Adia Gooden, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert on self-worth, self-compassion, and mental health. Dr. Adia shares her journey from growing up in Pasadena, California with professional parents, to becoming a renowned psychologist and speaker. She delves into the impact of early life challenges on her sensitivity to others' feelings, and how her academic and personal struggles with worthiness guided her career choice. Dr. Adia and Dr Connie discuss the importance of understanding self-worth stories, practicing self-compassion, and the layers of performance and vulnerability. Dr. Adia also...

In this week's episode, we welcome Rebecca Bloom, a Yale and NYU-educated patient and workplace advocate, and author of 'When Women Get Sick'. Rebecca discusses her journey from a legal career specialising in employee benefits to her long-standing role as a patient advocate at Bay Area Cancer Connections. She shares personal experiences that fuelled her advocacy, including her family's battle with breast cancer and her own high-risk health journey. The conversation highlights the importance of building a support team, the challenges women face in healthcare, and the need for proactive planning. Rebecca also touches on her work as a...

In this episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie interviews Gabby Long, a reproductive rights advocate, mother, and healthcare storyteller. Gabby shares her journey from growing up in central Florida to becoming an outreach organiser for 'A Woman's Choice,' an independent abortion provider. She discusses her family's background in activism and her early volunteer experiences. Gabby also opens up about her personal experience with abortion, highlighting the emotional and practical challenges she faced. She speaks passionately about her work in reproductive health advocacy, the importance of community support, and the need for accessible healthcare. The discussion also covers Gabby's...

In this week's episode, Dr Connie Kerali interviews Dr Alison Smith, founder of Earth and Bloom, a coaching practice supporting doctors and healthcare professionals. Dr Alison shares her journey from a GP with over 20 years of experience to a coach who blends nature, creativity, and one-to-one facilitation. She discusses her challenging childhood, her initial struggles in medicine, and how coaching transformed her life, unlocking her creativity and aligning her values. Dr Alison and Dr Connie delve into the topics of shame and anxiety in the medical profession, highlighting the need for support and open dialogue. Dr Alison also talks...

In this episode of Speak Shame, we meet Kayleigh, a reproductive justice advocate, abortion storyteller, and program coordinator at Fund Texas Choice. Kayleigh discusses her personal journey from growing up in a military family and surviving domestic and sexual violence, to finding her calling in supporting Texans seeking out-of-state abortion care. She shares her own abortion experience, the ongoing struggles due to restrictive abortion laws, and the critical need for emotional and logistical support for individuals facing systemic barriers. Kayleigh highlights the transformative power of sharing abortion stories to dismantle stigma and offers insights for those seeking support or...

In this week’s episode, Dr Connie sits down with Annalie Howling, a highly qualified performance coach with over 20 years of experience working with business leaders, elite athletes, and members of the armed forces, including ex-UK Special Forces. Annalie discusses her journey from a turbulent childhood to becoming a sought-after speaker, author, and EMDR certified global practitioner. She shares her insights on how shame and her people-pleasing nature have impacted her life and work. Annalie also elaborates on her book ‘Unapologetic: Unshackle Your Shame. Reclaim Your Power,’ and her personal experiences, including her breakthrough moment during a training in San Fr...

In this week's episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie hosts Jessy Rosales, an impassioned advocate for reproductive justice who began their journey in 2016. Jessy discusses their efforts in organizing communities and leveraging media to support reproductive justice legislation, notably leading to the passage of Senate Bill 24, which mandates abortion services in California university medical systems. Jessy shares their personal struggles with their identity and a powerful testimony of their own experience seeking an abortion as a student, which underscores the systemic barriers even in progressive states like California. Despite these challenges, Jessy's activism has continued to impact state and...

In this episode of Speak Shame with Dr Connie Kerali, Eve Ostrovskaya, a Transformational Leadership and Matrescence Coach, former Fortune 500 HR leader, and founder of Working Parent Coaching, shares her journey from growing up in post-Soviet Russia to navigating a successful career in London while raising three children. As a coach, she helps ambitious women overcome the pressures of perfectionism and the challenges of balancing career and motherhood. Eve discusses the concept of matrescence, comparing it to adolescence, and highlights the transformative leadership skills gained through parenthood. She emphasises the need for self-compassion and the importance of recognising parents...

In this week's episode of Speak Shame with Dr Connie Kerali, Darleen Davies, an International Career and Mindset Coach, takes over guest hosting duties. The episode dives into the theme of dating shame, beginning with Dr Connie sharing her formative 'Good Girl' chapter. They delve into the impact of perfectionism and people-pleasing on her life and relationships, especially in the context of dating. Dr Connie opens up about how therapy helped her confront her low self-esteem and transform her dating experiences, leading to a healthier relationship with herself and eventually finding unconditional love. The conversation also emphasises the power...

In this episode, Dr Connie interviews Alison Beder Solway, a debut author and founder of ABS Fitness. Alison shares her profound journey to motherhood through surrogacy, as detailed in her memoir, The Miles We Run. Discussing her challenging health condition, HHT, Alison explains the struggles and learnings during her path to building a family. She draws powerful analogies between her resilience in surrogacy and her training for the New York City Marathon. Alison highlights the importance of hope, resilience, education, and self-advocacy, while offering encouragement to those facing similar challenges. 

00:33 Meet Alison

...

In this episode of Speak Shame with Dr Connie Kerali, Dr. Jessica Zucker, a psychologist specialising in reproductive health and author of the book 'I HAD A MISCARRIAGE: A Memoir, A Movement', shares her journey and advocacy work. Dr. Zucker discusses how her personal experience with miscarriage led to the creation of the viral #IHadAMiscarriage campaign, aiming to break the silence and reduce the stigma surrounding pregnancy loss. 

She highlights the importance of sharing stories to combat shame and encourages women to find their voice, whether publicly or privately. The conversation goes on to discuss Dr...

In the final episode of the series, Dr McClain Sampson, a professor of social work and founder of Hear Me Roar Coaching, shares her journey and mission to empower women, particularly focusing on maternal mental health. Dr Sampson talks about her challenging childhood, her academic career, the transformative impact of her unplanned pregnancy, and the development of her passion for maternal health. She emphasises the importance of mental health support for new mothers, the critical role of self-efficacy, and introduces her concept of 'Savage Self-Care'. Dr Sampson also shares her personal struggle with her teenage son's addiction and how...

In this week’s episode, Dr Connie Kerali interviews Amanda Wakefield, a High Conflict Relationship Recovery and Resilience Life Coach based in Luxembourg. Amanda shares her personal journey, from becoming an orphan at a young age to overcoming significant challenges including cancer. She discusses the importance of hope, the impact of grief on vulnerability, and the steps she took to regain control of her life. Amanda also talks about her transition from a corporate career to coaching, her methods for helping others find their inner strength, and the importance of a supportive network. This inspiring discussion highlights the transformative po...

In this week's episode, Jennifer Robertson, a fertility coach and author, shares her compelling seven-year journey through infertility, pregnancy loss, and surrogacy. She discusses the impacts of her early life experiences, the emotional and mental toll of infertility, and how she ultimately embraced self-care and mental health. Jennifer talks about her transition to becoming a fertility coach and the importance of finding community and support. She also provides insights into coping mechanisms, balancing mental health, and setting boundaries. Throughout the episode, she emphasizes the power of accepting emotions and the need for personal agency.

01:09