Anger Management: Practical Tools to Control Anger

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Is anger creating distance in your marriage? Maybe your partner has started walking on eggshells around you, conversations keep turning into arguments, or you feel like you're drifting further apart despite wanting things to be different.

In this episode, I share five practical steps you can take today to start repairing your relationship. You'll learn how to take responsibility without blaming yourself, communicate instead of making assumptions, listen in a way that rebuilds trust, reconnect with your partner, and stop small disagreements from becoming major conflicts.

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever found yourself thinking: "Maybe this is just who I am?". If you've tried to control your anger before and slipped back into old patterns, you're not alone. It's one of the biggest reasons people stop believing lasting change is possible.

In this special episode, I share the stories of 10 real people who once believed they were too far gone to change. They'd spent years making promises, apologizing after angry outbursts, and wondering if things would ever be different. Today, they're calmer, happier, and rebuilding...

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever wondered "Do I have an anger problem?". You don't have to be shouting, throwing things or losing control for anger to be quietly damaging your relationships, your family, and your peace of mind.

In this episode, I answer the five most important questions people ask about anger. You'll discover what anger really is, why it happens, when it's helpful, how to recognize when it's becoming a problem, and the practical steps you can take to regain control.

You'll learn:

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever wondered why your anger seems to take over before you even realise what's happening? The truth is, there is a brief moment when you still have a choice - and what you do in that moment can change everything.

In this episode, I share three simple strategies you can use before anger takes over. You'll learn how to recognise your body's early warning signs, ask one powerful question that interrupts angry reactions and shift your focus in a way that can transform your conversations...

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever been told "Don't take it personally"? It's advice almost everyone has heard - but almost nobody explains how to do it.

The truth is, taking things personally isn't a character flaw or a sign you're too sensitive. It's a pattern. And once you understand why it happens, you can stop reacting defensively, handle criticism more calmly, and build stronger, healthier relationships.

In this episode, I explain why people take things personally and share two simple principles that can change the way you...

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

One Christmas, Michael's daughter finally told him what decades of uncontrolled anger had done to their family. Eighteen months later, his life (and his relationships) look very different.

For years, Michael believed everyone else was the problem. He could control his temper at work, but at home his wife and daughter experienced a very different side of him. After a painful Christmas conversation and weeks of follow-up emails from his daughter, he reached a point where he knew something had to change.

In this episode...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most people think anger management is about calming down after they've already lost control. But if that's all you're focusing on, you're missing the bigger picture.

Lasting anger control isn't built on a single technique. It's built on a set of principles that change how you think about anger, responsibility, communication and self-control. In this episode, I share the 10 rules I've taught clients for more than 30 years to help them gain lasting control over their anger.

You'll learn why awareness is...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you started feeling more like housemates than partners?

Most relationships don't fall apart because of one big event. They drift apart slowly through dozens of small moments of disconnection. The good news is that the same process can work in reverse.

In this episode, I share Dr. John Gottman's research-backed "Magic Six Hours" framework and the seven simple habits that help couples rebuild connection, intimacy and trust. You'll learn why small daily interactions matter more than grand romantic gestures, how...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Why do the same arguments keep happening over and over again?

Whether it's your partner, your children, a colleague or even a stranger in traffic, recurring anger isn't random. The same situations keep triggering you because of the way you're interpreting them. And until that changes, the pattern usually continues.

In this episode, I share three powerful mindset shifts that can help you break the cycle. You'll learn how practicing acceptance reduces frustration, why empathy softens anger and improves relationships, and...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Your partner is upset. You want to help. But somehow, everything you say seems to make things worse.

The problem usually isn't that you don't care. It's that most people were never taught what their partner actually needs in those moments. Before advice, reassurance or solutions can help, your partner needs to feel understood.

In this episode, I share four simple communication skills that can transform difficult conversations. You'll learn how to use minimal encouragers to show you're listening, ask questions...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

If you've ever promised yourself that this time would be different - only to find yourself losing your temper again a few weeks later- you're not alone.

The problem usually isn't a lack of commitment. It's that most people have never been taught the skills that actually help them control anger. In this episode, I explain why trying harder isn't enough and reveal the three essential skills that create lasting change.

You'll learn how to recognise your early warning signs before...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

You've grown apart, but that doesn't mean your relationship is over.

Many couples still love each other deeply, yet find themselves feeling disconnected, stuck in the same arguments or simply coexisting rather than truly connecting. The good news is that emotional distance in relationships can be reversed when you focus on the right things.

In this episode, I explain the hidden reason many couples drift apart: unmanaged anger. You'll learn how anger creates defensiveness, fear and emotional walls that make genuine...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

You can feel your anger building. Your jaw tightens. Your thoughts get sharper. You know where it's heading, but you don't know how to stop it.

In this episode, I share three practical techniques you can use when anger starts to rise: deep breathing, body scanning and mindful observation. These simple tools help you slow down, calm your nervous system, and create the space needed to make better decisions in difficult moments.

You'll learn why mindfulness is one of the most...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Online anger management or face-to-face programs. Which one actually works better?

After running more than 2,000 face-to-face anger management groups, over 10,000 individual counseling sessions, and nearly a decade of online anger management training, I've seen firsthand what helps people create lasting change, and what causes them to lose momentum.

In this episode, I compare traditional face-to-face anger management programs with online programs, including the strengths and weaknesses of each approach. You'll learn why retention is often the biggest challenge in group-based programs...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

If your anger keeps coming back no matter how hard you try to control it, the problem may not be your effort. It may be the mistakes that keep you trapped in the same anger cycle.

Most people approach anger management by focusing on what happens after they lose control. They try to stop the outbursts, suppress the emotion or avoid situations that trigger them. But lasting anger control comes from understanding why anger keeps returning in the first place.

In...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven signs that anger may be causing real problems in your life. Whether it is a short fuse that surprises even you, relationships where someone walks on eggshells, or a quiet part of you wondering if others might be right, this episode helps you look honestly at where you stand.

Rather than offering generic reassurance, Alastair walks through each sign with honesty and care, making clear that recognising the problem is not a weakness...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Fiona, a small business owner and mother who came to him carrying anger rooted in childhood.

Whether it is anger with a partner who walks away mid-conversation, frustration at feeling unheard, or patterns that stretch back decades, Fiona's story will feel familiar to many listeners. In just seven weeks, she made changes significant enough that her husband noticed without being asked.

Rather than accepting that her past defined her future, Fiona focused...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores one of the most common and difficult situations people face: what to do when someone else completely loses it at you.

Whether it is a partner who blames you, a colleague who unloads or anyone who fires anger in your direction, Alastair walks through why the automatic reactions of firing back or shutting down both make things worse, and what to do instead.

Rather than offering vague advice about staying calm, Alastair shares...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the real reason your anger feels uncontrollable, and why the answer is rarely about the person or situation in front of you.

Whether it is a partner who says the wrong thing, a child who ignores you or a stranger who cuts you off in traffic, Alastair walks through why the same trigger can send you over the edge one day and barely register the next.

Rather than offering generic advice, Alastair shares...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs tackles one of the most common and most painful patterns parents face: knowing your anger is a problem, trying to change and finding yourself right back where you started.

Whether you have made promises to your kids that didn't hold, tried parenting tips that worked for a week and then faded, or felt the shame of yelling again after genuinely trying not to, this episode is for you.

Rather than offering generic parenting advice...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs sits down with Matthew, a 32-year-old husband, stepfather and small business owner who came to the program eight weeks ago stuck in a cycle of explosive arguments with his wife.

Whether you bring frustration home from a long day and take it out on the people closest to you, or you know your anger needs to change but have not quite found the words for it yet, this conversation will feel familiar.

Rather than...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces the STOP model: a simple, four-step tool you can use anywhere, anytime, the moment you feel anger starting to rise. Whether it's your partner, a driver cutting you off or your kid doing that thing again, the window between feeling angry and acting on it is smaller than most people think. This episode is about how to use that window.

Rather than offering advice that only works when you're calm...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three concrete steps for communicating more effectively with your partner, especially when things get heated. Whether you're the one who shuts down in an argument or the one who keeps pushing to be heard, the problem is rarely what's being said. It's how people are listening, and how they express themselves when the stakes feel high.

Rather than offering vague advice about being a better communicator, Alastair walks through three...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores one of the most important questions in anger management: Why does that specific thing set you off? Whether it's a tone of voice, a passing comment or something so small you couldn't even explain it afterwards, your anger triggers are personal, patterned and almost always connected to something deeper than the moment itself.

Rather than offering generic advice about staying calm, Alastair walks through the most common triggers he's seen...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs challenges the idea that anger is always the problem. Whether you've spent years trying to suppress your anger or you're someone who's watched it destroy the things that matter to you, this episode reframes what anger actually is, and what it can be when it's handled well.

Rather than treating anger as something to be eliminated, Alastair draws a clear line between healthy anger and unmanaged anger, and explains why that...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the single most important factor in whether a relationship will thrive or fall apart: And it's not chemistry, compatibility or even love. Drawing on research from relationship psychology, Alastair explains why friendship is the foundation everything else is built on, and how it shapes the way couples handle conflict, criticism and the small friction of everyday life.

Rather than offering generic relationship advice, Alastair introduces two powerful concepts: Positive and...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through five practical steps for rebuilding a relationship after a separation caused by anger. Whether you're the one who's just watched your partner walk out, or you're months into a separation and wondering if there's any way back, this episode gives you a clear, honest roadmap for what comes next.

Rather than offering empty reassurances or quick fixes, Alastair is direct about what real reconciliation actually requires, from both people...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Anger in a relationship doesn't have to mean the end of the relationship. But without the right tools, the same arguments keep happening, the same damage keeps building — and eventually, something breaks. In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares four practical things you can start doing this week to change the way anger shows up in your relationship.

In this solo episode, Alastair walks you through four key areas, from understanding your triggers to remembering you and yo...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

You're in the middle of an argument with your partner. Your heart is racing, things are escalating and you can feel it heading somewhere neither of you wants to go. In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces one of the most important relationship skills you've probably never been taught - relationship repair.

In this solo episode, Alastair breaks down exactly what relationship repair is, why it matters and how to use it in the heat of the...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever completely lost it over something small, a dish in the sink or a towel on the floor, and then felt embarrassed afterward because you knew, deep down, it wasn't really about the dish? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why small things trigger such big reactions, and what you can do to stop it.

In this solo episode, Alastair walks you through the real reasons minor irritations escalate into major explosions and shares...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

You might think anger is your biggest relationship problem. You work hard on staying calm, bite your tongue, you try all the techniques. But while you're focused on not losing your temper, four quieter behaviors are slowly destroying your relationship.

In this episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals the four behaviors that predict divorce with over 90% accuracy—and most couples don't even know they're doing them.

Drawing on Dr. John Gottman's decades of relationship research, Alastair wa...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Think about the last argument you had with your partner. It probably started innocently enough—just a conversation about their day, a decision you needed to make, something simple. But somewhere along the way, things went sideways.

You got defensive, they got frustrated and suddenly you were fighting. In this practical episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals the real problem: you probably weren't listening.

After 30 years of observing couples communicate, Alastair has identified the exact pattern th...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Why do most people who try to control their anger end up failing? It's not because they lack good intentions or because the techniques don't work. In this powerful solo episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals the single most important step that separates those who successfully transform their lives from those who give up within weeks.

After 30 years of working with over 15,000 people, Alastair shares the one question that predicts success or failure with startling accuracy. Through raw...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever been in a calm conversation that suddenly turns tense before you even realise what happened? In this powerful episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores why defensiveness shows up so fast, how it quietly wrecks conversations and what you can do to stop it before conflict takes over.

Through a practical, real-world deep dive with AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah, you’ll learn how defensiveness isn’t a character flaw. It’s a reflex. And more import...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever said, “You made me angry” , and felt completely justified in the moment… only to be left with distance, regret and the sense that your anger is running your life?

In this powerful episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs is joined by Jake and Sarah for a deep dive into one of the most important skills in anger management: taking responsibility.

You’ll learn why blaming others for your anger quietly gives away your power, why resp...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever realised your anger isn’t just affecting your relationship, but shaping the kind of parent you’re becoming?

In this powerful case-study episode, anger management expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Katie, a mother who recognised that long-standing anger patterns were beginning to impact her relationship and her child.

Despite trying therapy and in-person anger management, Katie still felt stuck, until she learned the right tools to manage anger in the moment it actually shows up.

Katie shar...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever won an argument, only to walk away feeling tense, disconnected and strangely empty?

In this insightful episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger management expert Alastair Duhs explores one surprisingly common habit that quietly destroys relationships: the need to be right.

Joined by AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah, this deep-dive conversation reveals how the urge to win arguments fuels anger, escalates conflict and slowly erodes trust and emotional safety, even in otherwise loving relationships.

Through real-world...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Do you ever feel like you’re having the same argument over and over again?

In this practical episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger management expert Alastair Duhs is joined by AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah to explore three essential relationship skills most people are never taught, yet desperately need.

This episode breaks down why conflict keeps repeating even in relationships where both people care, and why struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Instead it usually means no one ever t...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Do you ever feel like your anger explodes out of nowhere? In this transformative episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs dives deep into why anger often feels instant and uncontrollable.

Through powerful insights and practical tools, you'll learn how to spot hidden tension, unlearn old habits and stay calm even in the most stressful moments.

Key Takeaways:

-Your anger isn’t sudden—it’s the result of hidden tension building throughout the day.

-Simple body cues like tight jaws a...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Ever feel like your anger takes over before you even realise it’s happening? In this practical and encouraging episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares six simple but powerful tips to help you stay calm in the heat of the moment.

From spotting early warning signs of anger to using empathy, these tools will help you break old patterns and respond with calmness, not conflict.

Key Takeaways:

-Your body gives early signs of anger, like tension and quickened breath, th...