Unstuck with Jay Abbasi

Who are you when you strip away your titles, achievements, and everything you think defines you? In this solo episode, Jay explores one of life's most profound questions: Who am I? Drawing from years of meditation, spiritual study, and personal reflection, he challenges the ways we define ourselves through job titles, relationships, achievements, and other people's opinions, revealing why these attachments can undermine our happiness and fulfillment. Jay introduces two perspectives on identity: the relative self, shaped by our experiences and guiding values, and the absolute self, which exists beyond labels and concepts. Through practical exercises, thought-provoking analogies, and the...

What happens when you've achieved everything you wanted, but still feel like something is missing? Meet Kelly. She's a successful VP of marketing at a specialty insurance company. At 41, she's earning more than ever, respected by executives, and excelling at her job. But lately, she feels numb. The work that once excited her now feels meaningless, and she can't shake the feeling that she's lost herself along the way. Today, Jay sits down with Dr. Dan Peters, licensed psychologist, executive coach, author, and co-founder of Summit Center, to explore why success can leave us feeling unfulfilled, how to reconnect with...

Knowing what to do isn't the problem. Actually doing it is. In this solo episode, Jay tackles one of the most common challenges high achievers face: knowing exactly what needs to be done but struggling to follow through. Drawing from his personal experiences and years of coaching, he shares a practical five-step framework for turning good intentions into consistent action. From claiming your identity and setting realistic, process-focused intentions to managing your environment, adapting with conviction, and reflecting on your progress, Jay explains how to build lasting habits without relying on motivation or willpower. If you're tired of breaking promises...

What if the thing holding you back isn't fear of failure, but fear of success? Meet Bonnie. She launched her HR consulting business six months ago. She's experienced, knowledgeable, and ambitious, but when potential clients push back, she freezes. Despite hours of preparation, she second-guesses herself, people-pleases, and walks away from opportunities she knows she's capable of winning. In this episode, Jay sits down with Paul Salter, high-performance hypnotherapist, mindset coach, and keynote speaker, to explore why we sabotage our own success, how limiting beliefs shape our behavior, and what it takes to build lasting self-trust. Notable Quotes "There's always...

What if the biggest threat to your workplace is the leadership habits you don't even realize you have? In this Halloween-themed solo episode, Jay explores seven common leadership monsters that can quietly damage workplace culture, drain team energy, and affect how people experience their leaders. From the Ghost who avoids difficult conversations to the Vampire who drains everyone's energy, Jay breaks down the behaviors that leaders should recognize in themselves and others. Through the Zombie, Frankenstein, Werewolf, Mummy, and Mad Scientist, Jay highlights how disengagement, controlling behavior, emotional unpredictability, resistance to change, and constantly chasing new ideas can affect a...

What if the pressure you're feeling is pressure you're creating? Meet Peter. He's a successful chief marketing officer at a major EV company. His campaigns deliver results, but his team feels disconnected. His meetings lack energy, watching another executive effortlessly connect with his team, Peter realizes something is missing. He wants to create a culture where people genuinely enjoy working together, but his own insecurity and fear of judgment keep getting in the way. In this episode, Jay sits down with Scott Bloom, comedian, keynote speaker, professional emcee, and author of The Atomic Morning Miracle. Together, they explore how humor...

What if creating the life you want isn't about trying harder, but learning to stop forcing it? In this solo episode, Jay shares five powerful lessons from Reality Transurfing by Vadim Zeland, his favorite book of 2026 so far. Drawing from the book's unconventional approach to visualization, intention, and personal growth, he explores how our thoughts, choices, and emotional states can shape the way we experience life. From recognizing the power of choice and avoiding energy-draining distractions to reducing importance, practicing visualization, and aligning heart and mind, Jay breaks down five concepts into practical takeaways. If you want to pursue meaningful...

What made you successful might be the very thing holding you back. Meet Kyle. He's the CEO of a thriving renewable energy company with over 150 employees. He's brilliant, driven, and relentlessly focused on results. But his demanding schedule, impatience, and constant overthinking are taking a toll. His company is winning, but he's exhausted, his relationship is suffering, and he's terrified that slowing down could cost him everything he's built. In this episode, Jay sits down with Christina Lecuyer, former professional golfer, executive coach, and host of Decide It's Your Turn. Together, they explore how your greatest strengths can become your...

Great meetings aren't about filling time. They're about making every minute count. In this solo episode, Jay tackles one of the most common workplace frustrations: unproductive meetings. Drawing from his leadership experience at Tesla and his work coaching leaders, he shares a practical seven-step framework for running meetings that respect people's time, create clarity, and drive meaningful results. From questioning whether a meeting is necessary and defining clear outcomes to setting agendas, managing distractions, and establishing accountability, Jay walks through how to make every meeting more effective. If you want to eliminate wasted time, improve team engagement, and turn conversations...

Just because someone delivers results doesn't mean they can lead people. Meet Ganesh. He's a successful senior product manager at a major airline. Executives love him, his team delivers results, and his career is thriving. But when one of his best employees unexpectedly resigns, he starts questioning his leadership. His team rarely speaks up, and feedback suggests he's intimidating. He's been so focused on performance that he may have forgotten the people behind it. Today, Jay sits down with Marcel Schwantes, executive coach, keynote speaker, and author of Humane Leadership. Together, they explore why organizations promote the wrong leaders, how...

Networking isn't about what you can get. It's about the value you can give. In this solo episode, Jay shares his seven-step approach to building meaningful professional relationships and mastering the art of networking. Drawing from his experience growing a successful coaching and speaking business, he explains why effective networking begins with a mindset of giving rather than getting. From identifying the right people and engaging authentically on LinkedIn to sending personalized messages, scheduling conversations, and following up, Jay walks through a practical process anyone can apply. If you want to expand your network, create new opportunities, and build lasting...

Reinvention doesn’t have to begin with quitting. It begins with curiosity. Meet Terrence. He’s a successful senior vice president with a good salary, a wife, two young kids, and plenty of responsibility. But lately, his work feels transactional. His team seems disconnected, his calendar is packed, and he can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. He doesn’t want to blow up the life he’s built. He also doesn’t want to wake up 10 years from now wishing he’d taken a chance. In this episode, Jay sits down with Jeff Pelaccio, longtime executive, speaker, and host of Th...

Great leaders don’t pretend to be calm. They learn how to become calm beneath the surface. In this solo episode, Jay challenges a leadership lesson he learned early in his career: “Be like a duck.” While a duck appears calm above the water while paddling furiously underneath, Jay explains why this approach can lead to inauthenticity, overwhelm, and a disconnect between what leaders show and what they actually feel. Instead, Jay encourages leaders to “be the water” and shares seven ways to build genuine calm and composure from within. From pausing and slowing down to breathing, practicing mindfulness, staying curious, w...

Just because AI can do it doesn’t mean it should. Meet Michelle. She’s a VP of HR trying to keep pace with a CEO who moves fast. One week it’s AI, the next it’s retention, then recruiting. Everyone expects Michelle to solve problems, protect the culture, and pick up the pieces when something breaks. She wants to stop reacting to the latest priority and start helping shape what comes next. In this episode,, Jay sits down with Naomi Titleman, former CHRO of American Express Canada, ex-Deloitte consultant, and trusted advisor to HR leaders. Together, they explore how to u...

When coaching isn’t working, it may be time to stop talking about the work and start talking to the person. In this solo episode, Jay explores what to do when you’ve coached, given feedback, shown empathy, and nothing seems to work. Drawing from a memorable leadership exercise at Tesla, he shares how leaders can move beyond surface-level conversations and create a “moment of truth” with a difficult employee. Jay also breaks down his EPIC framework, Example, Pause, Impact, and Change or Continue, to help leaders balance empathy with accountability. From slowing down and choosing the right tone to knowing...

Before you blame the next generation, look in the mirror. Meet Robert. After 25 years in hospital leadership, he’s frustrated. Younger nurses seem distracted, overwhelmed, and resistant to feedback. His usual leadership strategies aren’t working, and turnover keeps rising. For years, Robert blamed the next generation. Now he’s wondering if he’s the one who needs to adapt. In this episode, Jay sits down with Tim Elmore, bestselling author, leadership expert, and founder of Growing Leaders. Together, they explore how leaders can replace generational stereotypes with curiosity, connect with Gen Z, and develop younger employees instead of simply judging...

There’s a difference between a difficult leader and a toxic one. Do you know how to spot it? In this solo episode, Jay shares a personal story from his time at Tesla to explore the difference between a difficult leader and a truly toxic one. Drawing from an experience he has rarely discussed in detail, he breaks down seven warning signs that can help you determine whether a challenging leadership situation is manageable or something more harmful. From a bad reputation and lack of curiosity to playing favorites and publicly shaming others, Jay explains the behaviors that can reveal a...

A difficult boss makes work harder. A toxic boss causes harm. Meet Adrina. She’s a successful senior director who loves her work, but something has changed. Her CEO’s constant criticism and subtle comments have slowly chipped away at her confidence. Meetings are quieter, people second-guess themselves, and Adrena has stopped looking forward to Mondays. She doesn’t hate her career. She just feels like she’s losing herself in it. Today, Jay sits down with Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett, organizational psychologist, bestselling author, and keynote speaker. Together, they explore how to distinguish a difficult boss from a toxic one, rec...

The best leaders don’t solve every problem. They empower others to solve them. In this solo episode, Jay explores a common leadership trap: playing the hero. Drawing from his own experience as a leader, he explains why constantly answering questions, solving problems, and swooping in to save the day can unintentionally prevent your people from becoming more resourceful and capable. Jay shares seven practical strategies for shifting from the hero to the captain, from pausing before jumping in and assuming people’s brilliance to asking better questions, seeking advice, acting on suggestions, and spotlighting others. If you want to empo...

Motivation doesn’t create action. Action creates motivation. Meet Melissa. She stares through the windshield at the county administration building, overwhelmed by the demands of work, family, and being the person everyone turns to when things fall apart. She loves helping people, but she has become so focused on carrying everyone else's problems that she has forgotten to make space for herself. In this episode, Jay sits down with Angela Davies, founder of Mind Your Grit and Leadership and Wellbeing Consultant. After experiencing severe burnout and panic attacks firsthand, Angela now helps leaders and organizations maintain high performance while prioritizing we...

The best of Unstuck may still be ahead of us. After 200 episodes of Unstuck, Jay looks ahead to what’s next. In this solo episode, he shares five areas he wants to explore more deeply as the podcast evolves, along with the types of experts and leaders he hopes to bring into future conversations. From AI and neuroscience to real-world corporate leadership, peak performance, and generational differences, Jay explores where Unstuck could go next and why these topics matter for leaders navigating a rapidly changing world. Most importantly, he invites you into the conversation: What would help you most in yo...

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t have figured out. In this special 200th episode of Unstuck, Jay continues his countdown of the 10 things he was wrong about and shares the five lessons that have changed him most. After nearly 200 episodes of conversations, research, reflection, and growth, he looks back on the beliefs that no longer serve him and the perspectives that have reshaped the way he lives and leads. Jay explores why honesty matters more than protecting people from uncomfortable truths, why the body should come before the mind, why work-life balance may be...

Growth begins when you’re willing to admit you were wrong. As Unstuck approaches its 200th episode, Jay looks back at how nearly 200 episodes of conversations, research, and personal growth have changed the way he thinks. In this special two-part series, he shares 10 things he once believed that he now realizes he was wrong about. In Part 1, Jay counts down lessons 10 through 6, from something as fundamental as how we breathe to bigger shifts in how he thinks about mindfulness, self-doubt, courage, and leadership. He explores why mindfulness alone isn’t enough, why even the highest achievers experience self-doubt, why courage does...

Every time you say yes, you’re saying no to something else. Meet Carl. He’s a successful real estate agent with no shortage of ideas or opportunities. But behind the deals, billboards, and growing business, he’s exhausted. He struggles to delegate, takes too much on himself, and every new idea adds another responsibility to an already crowded life. Carl wants to keep his ambition without sacrificing his happiness, relationships, or peace. In this episode, Jay sits down with JM Ryerson, founder of Let’s Go Win, executive coach, keynote speaker, and bestselling author. Together, they explore the power of choic...

If you want people to trust you, don’t wait for it to happen. Build it. In this solo episode, Jay breaks down five practical strategies for becoming someone your colleagues, leaders, stakeholders, and direct reports genuinely trust. Because when people see you as credible, they’re more likely to invite you into important conversations, listen to your ideas, and give you a seat at the table. Jay shares why getting results is only the beginning. He explains how to socialize your accomplishments without bragging, build credibility behind the scenes, demonstrate that you’re truly listening through “repeat backs” and “call backs,”...

Not every performance problem is a training problem. Meet Lucy. She works in learning and development at a nonprofit she believes in, yet leadership repeatedly asks for quick PDFs that rarely change behavior. She wants to stop taking orders, ask better questions, and solve the real issue. Today, Jay sits down with Heather Burright, nonprofit learning and development consultant, speaker, and host of the Learning for Good podcast. Together, they explore why training alone rarely changes behavior and how leaders can design learning that produces meaningful, lasting results. Notable Quotes “The goal isn’t training. The goal is change.” — Heather Burright...

You don’t have to believe everything the voice in your head tells you. In this solo episode, Jay shares an unconventional strategy for dealing with the inner critic: give it a name. Inspired by an experience at a silent meditation retreat, Jay explains how a character from The Incredibles, Jack-Jack, became a powerful way for him to create distance from difficult thoughts and emotional reactions. Rather than fighting, resisting, or judging your inner critic, Jay walks through a practical process for relating to it with compassion. By choosing a character, bringing it to mind when triggered, accepting what arises, an...

What if being harder on yourself isn’t making you better? Meet Dwayne. He’s a respected COO who appears calm and confident, but internally he second-guesses himself, replays conversations, and feels like he should always be doing more. His instinct to help also leads him to take on too much, leaving him drained.What Dwayne wants most is to quiet the inner critic, trust himself, and lead with more confidence and authenticity. Today, Jay sits down with Kristen Harcourt, executive coach, keynote speaker, and emotional intelligence expert. Together, they explore how leaders can challenge self-doubt, practice vulnerability, and quiet the...

Your best ideas may be waiting for you to stop doing. In this solo episode, Jay introduces Mindfreeness, a concept he defines as intentionally freeing your mind to explore, imagine, connect ideas, and discover new possibilities. While mindfulness creates space to observe the present moment, Mindfreeness creates space to explore what your mind can uncover when it isn't constantly occupied. Drawing from neuroscience, his work with leaders, and his own experiences, Jay explains why periods of boredom and mental white space can unlock creativity and new solutions. He shares practical ways to cultivate Mindfreeness through silent drives, showers, household chores...

The distractions aren't the problem. They're symptoms. Meet Fareed. A year ago, he was disciplined. Early mornings. Workouts. Building a side business. Today, he's spending hours scrolling sports news for games he barely cares about while the life he actually wants slips further away. Married with two young children and working as a data manager, he feels disconnected from his goals, his family, and even himself. He tells everyone he's fine, but deep down he's wondering where his drive went, and whether he'll ever get it back. Today, Jay sits down with Dr. Bobby Shelton, executive self-leadership coach, author, and...

Your success depends less on managing your time and more on managing your energy. In this solo episode, Jay explores why energy, not time, is one of the most overlooked drivers of resilience and high performance. Reflecting on his own struggles with afternoon crashes and burnout, he shares the practical shifts that helped him sustain greater focus, consistency, and productivity throughout the day. Jay introduces three essential sources of energy: body, mind, and connection, and explains how each one contributes to your ability to perform at your best. Rather than encouraging listeners to overhaul their lives overnight, he offers a...

Overwhelm isn't the problem. It's the symptom. Meet Sandani. It's Saturday morning, but she can't get out of bed. Her three children are full of energy while she's running on empty. As a management accountant navigating uncertainty at work and constant financial worries at home, she never truly stops thinking. Even weekends meant for rest become consumed by anxiety about the future. Sandani isn't lazy. She isn't unmotivated. She's simply carrying more than her mind and body were designed to hold. What she wants most is to stop surviving and start feeling like herself again. Today, Jay sits down with...

You can care deeply about others without abandoning yourself. In this solo episode, Jay explores why so many high achievers struggle with people-pleasing and how this common pattern can quietly lead to stress, burnout, and resentment. Drawing from his own experiences and personal reflections, he explains how our earliest relationships can shape our desire to keep others happy, even at the expense of ourselves. Jay introduces a new framework he calls the Joy Equilibrium, a simple but powerful way to think about balancing giving and receiving. Rather than encouraging listeners to stop caring about others, he explains why lasting fulfillment...

What if resilience has nothing to do with pushing harder? Meet Prita. A small cut on her finger sends her into tears. She knows it isn't about the cut. As a project manager navigating a major company acquisition while raising three young children, she's constantly bracing for the next crisis. At work, her manager's unpredictable moods keep everyone on edge. At home, she carries the weight of work, parenting, meal planning, and trying to hold everything together. What Prita wants most isn't less responsibility, it's the ability to feel calm, confident, and in control again. Today, Jay sits down with...

What if the only thing standing between you and your potential is the story you're telling yourself? In this solo episode, Jay explores why self-doubt is a natural part of being human and explains that confidence isn't about eliminating fear, it's about choosing how to respond to it. Drawing from Kobe Bryant's perspective, his own personal experiences, and lessons from his leadership journey, Jay shares three practical strategies to overcome self-doubt: reminding yourself daily of who you are, pausing to normalize self-doubt when it appears, and taking action before you feel fully confident. Through relatable stories and actionable advice, this...

When did telling the truth become an act of courage? Meet Silvio. Halfway through a one-on-one with his direct report, he hears himself say, "I'm sorry." Sorry for bringing up the missed follow-through. Sorry for expecting more. Sorry for pushing. The meeting ends politely, but nothing changes. Silvio is respected, thoughtful, and well-liked. Yet every time he softens the truth to avoid discomfort, his confidence takes another hit. What he wants most is the courage to stop chasing approval and start leading with conviction. Today, Jay sits down with Ryan Berman, founder of Courageous, keynote speaker, and author of Return...

Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's choosing to move forward despite it. In this solo episode, Jay explores what courageous leadership really looks like and why courage is about far more than bold decisions. Drawing from leadership experiences, coaching conversations, and timeless wisdom, he explains that fear is a natural part of leadership, and that the goal isn't to eliminate it, but to develop a healthier relationship with it. Jay introduces six distinct types of courage every leader can cultivate: moral, social, emotional, intellectual, creative, and physical courage. Through practical examples and reflective questions, he shows how each type...

The biggest leadership problems aren't solved by choosing sides. Meet Hector. As the general manager of a wholesale building materials company, Hector expects accountability and results. But the harder he pushes for performance, the quieter his team becomes. Sales blames operations. Managers avoid difficult conversations. Hector is beginning to wonder if great leadership really requires choosing between caring about people and driving results, or if there's another way. Today, Jay sits down with Michelle Troseth and Dr. Tracy Christopherson, co-founders of Missing Logic, co-authors of Polarity Intelligence, and hosts of the Burnout Proof Leadership podcast. Together, they explore why the...

What if one hour of reflection could change the rest of your year? In this solo episode, Jay shares a powerful midyear reflection exercise designed to help you reset, refocus, and finish the year strong. As 2026 reaches its halfway point, he encourages listeners to step back from the busyness of life and evaluate what’s working, what isn’t, and where to focus their energy moving forward. Through nine thoughtful questions, Jay walks you through a practical process for identifying wins, learning from setbacks, clarifying priorities, and creating a meaningful plan for the months ahead. Rather than approaching goal-setting from a pl...

Avoiding conflict doesn't create peace. It creates distance. Meet Amy. Three months into her new role as Senior Director of Quality, she's already exhausted. Every attempt to improve processes is met with resistance from a fellow leader who ignores her emails, avoids collaboration, and publicly undermines her in meetings. Amy wants alignment, trust, and results, but instead finds herself bracing for the next conflict. What she wants most is to lead with confidence without constantly feeling like she's fighting an uphill battle. Today, Jay sits down with Jenn Whitmer, leadership expert, TEDx speaker, and creator of Joyosity. Jenn helps leaders...