Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Your partner keeps turning you down for sex. You're hurt, frustrated, and starting to wonder if they even want you anymore. But what if you've been getting the whole thing wrong? Here's the uncomfortable truth: Your sex life might not be suffering because the attraction is gone. It might be suffering because neither of you knows how to talk about what's really happening in the bedroom. In this episode, I'm joined by sexuality expert and couples therapist Dori to unpack the painful cycle of sexual rejection, resentment, and avoidance that's quietly destroying intimacy in so many relationships. And trust me...

You said yes. But what if you were never really free to say no? Here's the terrifying thing about coercive control: It can look exactly like love. Exactly like consent. And you might not recognize the manipulation until you're already trapped in it. In this eye-opening episode, I'm joined by forensic researcher AJ Greer, who studies sexual violence, dangerous relationship dynamics, and the psychology of abusers. We're exposing the subtle manipulation tactics, shocking red flags, and dangerous power dynamics that can turn a relationship into something you barely recognize. You'll learn: The hidden signs of coercive control that are dangerously...

You didn't work this hard just to feel this miserable. You got the promotion. You earned your seat at the table. You built the career you always wanted. So why are you exhausted, lonely, and secretly wondering if any of it was worth it? Here's what nobody tells you about women in leadership: The higher you climb, the lonelier it can get. You're expected to be confident but never intimidating. Decisive but always likable. Successful at work while somehow keeping everything at home running perfectly, too. And the worst part? You start wondering if you're the problem. In this episode...

You've done the therapy. Read the books. Analyzed your childhood. You know EXACTLY why you keep repeating the same patterns. So why isn't anything changing? Here's the uncomfortable truth: Understanding your problems isn't the same as solving them. And waiting until you feel confident, motivated, or emotionally ready might be the very thing keeping you stuck. In this episode, I'm joined by Amy Morin, psychotherapist and bestselling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, to challenge everything you think you know about mental strength, healing, and what it actually takes to change your life. In this episode, you'll learn...

You love your dad. He did his best. So why are you still desperately trying to prove you're good enough? Why do you keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners? Why can't you stop fixing everyone else's problems? And why does being the person who "has it all together" feel so damn exhausting? What if the patterns ruining your peace today started with a wound you didn't even know you had? I'm joined by psychotherapist and bestselling author Terri Cole to unpack the truth about "daddy issues," the invisible father wound, and how childhood experiences can quietly shape your self-worth, relationships, and...

They love you. So why does it feel like their job gets the best of them, and you get whatever is left? Maybe you're always waiting for them to come home. Maybe you've stopped asking for more because they're so busy. Or maybe you're the one saying, “I'm sorry, but I have to work.” Again. In this episode, I’m talking with Growing Self couples therapist Silas Hendrich, LMFT, about what happens when a career becomes the third in your relationship, and how to find your way back to each other. You’ll learn: Why high achievers can become more attached...

“I need space.” Three words. And suddenly you’re wondering if your relationship is over. Are they coming back? Did I do something wrong? Should I give them space or fight for us? Is this actually a breakup and they just don’t have the courage to say it? That uncertainty can be excruciating. Because “I need space” can mean I need 20 minutes to calm down. It can mean I don’t know if I want this relationship anymore. And sometimes, it really does mean goodbye. In this episode, marriage and family therapist and Growing Self clinician Jennifer Cunningham is helping you fi...

Here’s the brutal truth about making friends as an adult: nobody is coming to find you. You want more friends. You want people who really know you, people you can call, people you actually want to spend time with. You just don’t want to go through the awkward, exhausting process of making them. And maybe somewhere along the way, you started wondering: Is something wrong with me? Am I too introverted? Too awkward? Too weird? Nope. But there is an uncomfortable truth: your future best friends probably aren’t going to magically show up at your house. Making friend...

A bad strategy can trick you into giving up on the right dream. The problem isn’t what you want… it’s how you’re trying to get it.  Turns out, there's a totally different way of planning your life that's going to get you going to get you further faster. My guest Courtney De Ronde dropped a line in this conversation that stopped me cold: “We give up on our vision instead of shifting our strategy.”  You may not have the wrong dream. You may just be taking the wrong road to get there. In this episode, we’re breaking down wh...

Whose life is this? You built it. You chose it. So why doesn’t it feel like yours anymore? Maybe you checked all the boxes. Built the career. Created the relationship. Became the responsible one, the successful one, the person everyone can count on. And then one day you looked around and thought, Wait... is this actually what I want? That’s the uncomfortable realization at the heart of this episode. My guest, Growing Self therapist and board-certified coach Tania Chikhani, knows it personally. Before 30, she was managing a half-billion-dollar brand and headed toward an executive career. On paper, she was...

The world is already judging your appearance…but the real danger is when you start judging your worth by it, too. FYI: This is NOT in your head. The way you look really does affect how people treat you (unfortunately).Research shows that appearance can influence who gets hired, who gets helped, who gets the benefit of the doubt, and even the assumptions people make about you in a split second.But that doesn’t mean that you need to buy into the lies our culture is trying to hand you. In this eye-opening conversation, I sit down with psychologist and...

What if the resentment you feel toward your partner isn’t actually about what they’re doing wrong…but about what you keep doing? You do the dishes. You make the bed. You remember everything. You fix problems before anyone asks. And then you quietly think: Why do I have to do everything around here? Here’s the twist: You may be blaming your partner for resentment that’s actually coming from how much you’ve taken on. That’s the realization that changed Alyssa Zander’s relationship. After four years of believing her partner needed to change, they broke up, and an unexp...

You can navigate a difficult conversation with your boss, calm down a frustrated friend, and explain exactly how you feel…so why does one sentence from your partner turn you into someone who suddenly can’t communicate at all? Here’s the bombshell: You might not actually have a communication problem. Because the words aren’t the real problem. In this episode, I’m joined by Brandy Buckner, M.S., LMFTA, marriage and family therapist at Growing Self, to expose what’s actually happening underneath those impossible conversations: the communication styles you inherited, the attachment reflexes that take over when you feel thr...

If love makes you suspicious, compliments make you uncomfortable, and happiness makes you wait for something bad to happen…this episode might explain your entire life. Because what if your insecurity isn’t a personality flaw? What if your brain learned, somewhere along the way, that feeling good about yourself is dangerous? Psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Marisa Franco is back with fascinating new science about why insecurity can survive years of therapy, affirmations, self-help, and “working on yourself” (and what can finally begin to change it). Here’s the mind-bending part: Your memories don’t just record your...

We can all spot controlling people seeking influence over us. But what about our blind spots?  What happens when other people are feeling controlled by us and we don't even realize what we're doing? Turns out what many of us call “helping” can feel controlling to our partners. This is not anything to feel bad about or ashamed of. It's just reality. Control issues rarely feel controlling when we’re doing it. They feel like being right. Keeping things on track. Getting your partner to understand. Making sure nothing goes wrong. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby sits down with Se...

You said yes. You smiled. You went along with it. And afterward, you thought: Why didn’t I say something? If you struggle to stand up for yourself, Dr. Sunita Sah has a surprising message for you: You do not need to become louder, tougher, or more confrontational. Defiance is a skill. And you can practice it. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and Cornell professor and DEFY author Dr. Sunita Sah reveal how to stop automatically complying and start acting in alignment with what you actually believe. In this episode you’ll learn: Why staying silent can cost you...

Your workplace feels wrong. But do you actually know what you’re dealing with? If you've been calling your job a hostile work environment, stop…because that phrase carries more weight than you might realize. It's a term with a specific meaning, and the words you use can change what happens next. Because “hostile” and “toxic” do not mean the same thing. One is a description. The other can raise a legal red flag. I didn't know the distinction either until my guest, clinical psychologist and organizational consultant Dr. Jennifer Wisdom, stopped me mid-conversation and explained it. And that wasn't the only mom...

You love them. So why can’t you shake the feeling that something might be wrong? Nothing is bad enough to leave. There’s no glaring red flag. You’re happy… mostly. But when you imagine getting engaged, moving in together, having a baby, or saying this is my person forever, something inside you hesitates. Do NOT ignore that feeling. But don’t assume it means you should break up, either. In this episode, I’m sitting down with marriage and family therapist Dr. Benjamin Jones about the yellow, orange, and even beige flags that can leave you questioning your future toget...

The feeling you can’t shake isn’t going away. And there’s a reason. The regret that keeps coming back. The boredom you feel in a life you actually love. The shame that whispers something terrible about you. Your instinct might be to fix it. Get over it. Make it stop. I want you to try something very different. In this episode, I’m talking with psychotherapist Daniel Smith, author of Hard Feelings, about the emotions most of us would happily delete from our lives, and why getting rid of them might be exactly the wrong goal. This conversation surprise...

If you’re doing EVERYTHING in your relationship and starting to resent the hell out of your partner for it…we need to talk. You’re the one who notices. Remembers. Plans. Worries. Follows up. Makes sure things actually happen. And after a while, it stops feeling like we’re in this together and starts feeling like: Why am I the only one who cares? I’ve been a marriage counselor for over twenty years, and I can tell you: this dynamic can get ugly. Because underneath the arguments about dishes, schedules, kids, errands, and who was supposed to do what is so...

What if the thing you’re most ashamed of isn’t proof that you’re a bad person…but proof that you care deeply about being a good one? If there’s something you did (or didn’t do) that you still replay in your mind years later, I want you to hear this: There may be a name for what you’re carrying. Moral injury. And no, healing it does not mean pretending it was okay. In this episode, I’m talking with Dr. Jaimie Lusk, a board-certified psychologist, Marine Corps veteran, longtime VA clinician, and leading expert on moral injury. To...

The problem isn't that you can't decide. It's that you have too many options. If every big decision feels exhausting, there's a reason for it, and it has nothing to do with willpower. I know because I'm exactly the same way. I once spent 90 minutes trying to pick something to watch on Netflix, watched every trailer, and finally handed the remote to my husband and said, "You choose." Sound familiar? In this episode, I'm joined by David Epstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Range and bestselling author of Inside the Box: How Constraints Make Us Better. Together, we explore...

Money. Intimacy. Chores. Parenting. Sometimes it's just the way they said "okay." If it feels like you're fighting about everything, don't try to fix everything. Fix this first. In this episode, I'm joined by my colleague Alejandra Piñero Stillmann, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Growing Self, to talk about the one change that makes every other relationship problem easier to solve: emotionally safe communication. Because here's what I've learned after working with thousands of couples... The fight you're having is rarely the real problem. When couples feel stuck, they usually try to solve money, intimacy, parenting, or h...

I need you to stop making that pros-and-cons list. It’s not going to give you the answer. When you’re trying to decide whether to leave a relationship, the not-knowing can feel unbearable. One day, you’re done. The next, you’re wondering whether you should try one more time. I’ve worked with couples for decades, and here’s what I wish more people knew: You may not be stuck because you’re indecisive. You may be asking the wrong question. In this episode, I’m talking with Growing Self marriage and family therapist Georgi Chizk about discernment counseling, a sh...

Money shame grows in silence. And the secret you’re carrying is hurting you more than the mistake itself. My guest, Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche, woke up on her 30th birthday jobless, living in her childhood bedroom, and $300,000 in debt. She’d been scammed. She was facing foreclosure. And she was too ashamed to tell her own father—an accountant and CFO—while living under his roof. Then she finally told the truth. That moment changed everything. In this deeply honest conversation, Tiffany and I unpack why emotional baggage related to money can be the biggest obstacle standing between where you are now...

I need you to hear this: You do not have to feel ready to change your life. But believing you need to feel ready? That’s what gets people stuck, every time.  Here’s the deal: You already know what you need to do. But if you keep waiting—for confidence, motivation, certainty, or some magical sign that says, now…. that what needs to change. The new idea: feeling ready comes after you take action, not before. That was just one of the main takeaways from an incredibly inspiring conversation with Cate Hall — a woman who doesn’t just preach that, she liv...

Sometimes, the people you love most can push your nervous system past its breaking point. Nervous system regulation is what helps you stay grounded, communicate clearly, and respond instead of react. And when you don’t have it, you snap. You shut down. You get flooded, overwhelmed, or completely disconnected from the people you care about most. You’re not failing. You’re not “too sensitive.” And you’re not bad at relationships. Your nervous system may simply be overloaded. I’m talking with emotional-development expert Alyssa Blask Campbell about why two people can experience the exact same moment in completely dif...

How often should couples have sex? I’m going to tell you the truth: If you’re counting, something deeper is already asking for your attention. When your partner starts feeling more like a roommate, it’s easy to panic. To compare. To wonder whether your relationship is broken. But the “right number” isn’t the answer. If you’re lying next to the person you love wondering, “What happened to us?”... this episode is for you. In this conversation, I’m joined by Growing Self clinician and certified sex therapist Dori Bagi to uncover the hidden reasons desire fades, and what can actuall...

Have you ever overextended yourself to the point where you collapsed? Gave and gave and gave until your well was dry.. The problem isn't that you can't handle hard things. It's that you haven't learned how to find your sustainable pace. If you're trying to figure out how to lead a productive and full life without becoming exhausted and depleted in the process, this episode is for you. In this conversation, I'm joined by award-winning science writer Elizabeth Svoboda, author of The Art of Pacing. Together, we unpack the hidden pattern behind that all-or-nothing cycle and why the answer isn't...

You might not be falling out of love. You might just be exhausted. When you can’t sleep, everything gets louder. The resentment. The anxiety. The dishwasher fight that suddenly feels like proof your entire relationship is broken. I’ve seen this happen again and again: people blame their partner, their marriage, or themselves—when the real saboteur is sleep deprivation. In this episode, I’m talking with marriage and family therapist and sleep expert Chrissy Lawler about what exhaustion is really doing to your mood, your parenting, and the people you love most. Listen to learn: Why exhaustion makes every co...

Are you chronically late, stressed, and frazzled? Feel like you never have enough time to do what you really want and need to do? Here’s the reality: Until you can manage your time, you’ll always feel out of control. Poor  time management isn’t just making you late. It’s quietly stealing your life. If you feel buried, behind, overcommitted, and weirdly guilty all the time, this episode is going to hit hard. Because the problem may not be that you’re lazy, scattered, or “bad at time management.” The real problem is that you’re saying yes to everything and...

Your partner heard something you never said. That’s why the conversation went sideways. That’s why you’re suddenly defending yourself.That’s why they’re hurt.That’s why you’re both thinking, “How did we get here again?” If you’re struggling with a lack of communication in a relationship, this episode is for you. Because the problem may not be that you’re bad at communicating. It may be that you and your partner are speaking completely different emotional languages. In this episode, I’m talking with psychotherapist Jason VanRuler, author of Discovering Your Communication Type, about why the same words...

Wired and tired? I’ve been there too, and I know first hand… this is not sustainable. Help is here. If you’re searching for nervous system regulation strategies because your body feels like it’s waving a white flag — the insomnia, the tension, the stomach issues, the collapse at night — this episode is a must listen.  Join me for this conversation with somatic expert Liz Tenuto, known as The Workout Witch, about why chronic stress gets stored in the body, why your doctor can say “everything looks normal” when you feel anything but, and how somatic healing can help you come back to...

You’re the tiger pacing the cage… but the door has been open the whole time. If you want to know how to gain confidence for real — not perform it, fake it, or force it — this conversation will show you where to start. Because the truth is, you can look wildly successful and still feel trapped inside your own head. You walk into the meeting.You know what you’re talking about.You’ve done the work. And then your body betrays you. Your heart starts pounding. Your mind goes blank. You over-explain. You spiral. You replay the whole thing at 2 a.m. li...

Feeling down when, at least on the surface, nothing is horrible? It’s easy to blame yourself, and think “what’s wrong with me that I can’t just be happy?”  Here’s a new idea. Maybe that feeling is not wrong at all.  Maybe it’s a signal from your emotional guidance system that it’s time to evolve.  The boredom. The restlessness. The exhaustion. The quiet little voice whispering, “I cannot keep doing this.” You can numb it.You can explain it away.You can call it anxiety, burnout, depression, hormones, laziness, or “just a rough patch.” But what if it’s none of that...

There is a silent mind game stealing your peace — and you’ve been trained to play it every day.  If you can’t stop comparing yourself to others, this episode may hit a nerve. That sick little feeling of “Why am I not enough?” It isn’t something another promotion, relationship, body, bank account, or achievement is going to fix. I’m sitting down with Harvard psychologist Dr. Ron Siegel to reveal the brutal truth: your brain is wired to rank you. And the comparison game is designed so you never actually win. This conversation will help you understand why success never s...

If you’ve ever said “I’m fine,” watched your partner believe you, and then felt even more hurt than before, this episode is for you. Because that tiny moment, the one where you want them to know you’re not okay without having to spell it out, is where so many couples quietly lose each other. In this episode, I’m talking with therapist and workplace wellbeing expert Nidhi Tewari about attunement, the relationship skill that helps people feel seen, understood, and emotionally safe. We’ll unpack why loving partners still miss each other’s cues, why fixing, reassuring, or changing the...

Uncertainty can make you anxious, controlling, and completely exhausted, but staying steady is a skill you can build. Here’s the real reason you can’t seem to figure out how to deal with uncertainty: you’ve been taught that calm is a personality trait. Something you either have or you don’t. It’s not. The people who stay grounded when life blows up the plan didn’t win some genetic lottery. They’ve built a skill. And by the end of this episode, you’ll know how to start building it too. Today, I’m talking with executive coach Liz Tran abo...

If your mind starts spinning the second your head hits the pillow, replaying the conversation you had at lunch and rehearsing the one you have to have tomorrow, I want to tell you something that genuinely surprised me. Sometimes the goal is not to get rid of your anxiety at all. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Chloe Carmichael, the clinical psychologist and USA Today bestselling author of Nervous Energy, who taught me to treat anxiety as a signal rather than a malfunction. Dr. Chloe and I work through how to tell the worry that is worth listening...

By the time an adult child finally says “I’m done,” they have usually been deciding it for about three years. The parent almost never sees it coming. The child was never once surprised. On the other side, the pain and anger that comes when someone you love with all your heart and soul refuses to talk to you? It's as crushing as it is confusing. This episode is for anyone who has ever sat in the car outside a parent’s house, bracing themselves before they walk in. And it is just as much for the parent staring at a phone...