You've Got to Be Critting Me

The Dragon King threatens all of Kyranda, but first our heroes must face their greatest challenge yet: bureaucracy. With Grand Sorcerer Alatar out of reach, tensions rise, tempers flare, and a suspicious butcher shop offers more than meats the eye.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join...

After surviving their encounter with the mysterious rift, the party makes camp for the night, giving Jeremiah a chance to learn more about his new companions and uncover a few surprisingly personal stories. While Todd struggles with Shala’s disappearance, the group finally reaches the outskirts of Pendilor, where they settle in, deal with the unfortunate passenger they’ve been hauling around, and prepare to take care of some long overdue Adventurers Guild business.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shea...

The party faces a terrifying new threat as a mysterious void portal tears open in a wheat field and brings a horde of sinister scarecrows to life. In this episode of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me, our adventure takes a dark autumn turn filled with strange powers, dangerous magic, and one very unsettling pumpkin-headed foe.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow th...

On the road to Pendilor, the party gets sidetracked by a roadside dispute that threatens to become much more serious than it needs to be. After a little diplomacy, a little deception, and some less than honest extracurricular activity, they continue their journey, only to find that something strange is waiting for them further down the road.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow...

Look, sometimes we can't all get together and play D&D. Sometimes only a few of us can get together and answer listener questions and just shoot the shit. This is one of those times. In this first episode of YGTBCM Q&A Behind the Scenes Jeff, Travis, and Nick answer listener questions and try to not let too many of Travis's pets interrupt the podcast.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath<...

After a hard-fought battle, the party settles in for a much needed night of rest, reflection, and some questionable financial decisions. While Todd unloads a suspicious amount of merchandise, Thormir and Malcius deepen their connections with their mysterious motes, and Jeremiah gets his first real taste of life on the road. But as the group continues north, a roadside argument between two young nobles gives them one more distraction before they can reach their destination.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd...

On the road to Aldenhold, the party encounters a mysterious hermit who asks them to reveal their hidden burdens in exchange for a peculiar gift. Their moment of reflection is quickly interrupted by a stampede and a deadly battle against a pair of monstrous insects.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements...

We maybe should have divided the last episode into two because, once again, we're having to skip a week. This podcasting thing is hard when we have to squeeze it in between our jobs that actually pay us. But I did promise a little bit of content before the next release, so feast your ears on this very strange conversation we had during the recording of our last episode. If you like this and want to hear a longer version you'll have to join our Patreon. Actually, can you just please join our Patreon no matter what so we...

Back in Sestone, the party takes stock of their belongings, gets a few mysterious magical items identified, and learns that Todd’s mask may be connected to something far more powerful than they realized. After sharing the story of their recent adventures with the townsfolk, Sefi is approached by Jeremiah, who asks to join the party and begin his own journey as an adventurer. Despite plenty of warnings, second thoughts, and concern from his parents, Jeremiah is allowed to tag along as the group heads back toward Beckinsdale. His first night on the road quickly becomes a crash course in...

Hey guys, Travis here. Quick update on Episode 40: I’m working hard to get it finished, but unfortunately my full-time day job keeps insisting on being “important” and “necessary to survive.”

I don’t want to rush the episode out before it’s fully polished and sounding the way you’ve come to expect from us, so give me just a couple more days and we’ll have that sweet, sweet content ready for your tender little ears.

Thanks for sticking with us. The fact that you keep coming back means a lot, and I promise we’r...

The dream is over… and everything they stole is gone.

Back in the real world, the party sets their sights on Pendilor, but first, a detour south. A midnight break-in, memories brought to life, and Thormir’s first swimming lesson await.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Lore...

Our heroes make it to the mountain in search of the missing villagers, only to discover that something huge might be waiting for them in the shadows.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM elements by Loresmyth

Join our Patreon!

Buy our merch on our website!

Follow...

Rory is back, but that does not mean the party is any closer to escaping the trial. After learning Todd’s transformation may be tied to the void, the Dragon King, and something far more dangerous than they understood, the group returns to Moonstone and finds the village completely abandoned. With no clear path forward, the party decides to trust their motes and follow wherever they lead.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Ha...

Todd is back to normal. Mostly. Probably. For now.

After some unexpected divine intervention, the party tries to unpack Todd’s sudden transformation, his new connection to a terrifying rat patron, and the very inconvenient fact that this may happen again. Soon.

But there’s still a festival to attend, babies to bless, and apparently baby versions of Thormir and Malcius to emotionally process. As the Blessing of the Newborns begins, the party learns more about the Unfated Ones, the prophecy tied to them, and just how weird this dreamlike world is becoming.

DM...

What should have been a celebration turns into chaos when Todd transforms far sooner than anyone expected. As the party scrambles to contain the fallout, they’re left with troubling new questions about the Blessing of the Newborns, Todd’s fate, and Rory’s disappearance

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM ele...

Proll and his bandits make the mistake of standing in the party’s way, forcing Eric, Nyl, and C-Smooth into their first real fight. As the battle turns messy and the party scrambles to survive, they get their first taste of how dangerous the road to the caves really is, and what victory might cost.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Eric the Cleric: Travis Stewart

C-Smooth: Cornelius Stewart II

Nyltra: Lynn Stewart

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Hearthside Reels" by Bardcore. Fo...

A strange job. An abandoned wagon. A trail full of bad signs. In Episode 2 of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me: Parental Advisory, Eric, Nyl, and C-Smooth press onward toward a mysterious cave system as odd encounters and mounting danger make it clear their first adventure will not be a simple one.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Eric the Cleric: Travis Stewart

C-Smooth: Cornelius Stewart II

Nyltra: Lynn Stewart

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Hearthside Reels" by Bardcore. Follow them on...

For this special episode of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me, Travis and Jeff welcome two brand-new players to the table for a one-shot built around the Heroes of the Borderlands starter set. What begins as a simple introduction to character sheets, spells, and class choices quickly turns into a funny, charming, and surprisingly wholesome dive into the joy of learning Dungeons & Dragons for the first time. More than just an adventure, this episode is a reminder that you do not need experience to jump in. You just need a good table, a little imagination, and a willingness to...

The Winter Lunar Festival continues, but the longer the party stays, the harder it becomes to ignore that something is deeply wrong.

As night falls without warning, the music stops and a makeshift arena is revealed at the heart of the celebration. What begins as harmless festival entertainment quickly turns personal when Sefi signs up to fight under a false name, and Todd follows suit with an alias of his own. With betting encouraged, rules vaguely defined, and magic strictly forbidden, the party places their wagers and prepares to watch, or participate in, the spectacle.

...

The party finds itself deeper within Rory’s trial as the illusion around them grows increasingly convincing, and increasingly dangerous. What began as a familiar Winter Lunar Festival in Thormir’s homeland quickly reveals itself to be something far more unsettling: a version of the past where loss never came, loved ones still walk the streets, and joy comes far too easily.

As Thormir returns to his family home and confirms the impossible truth, the group reunites to share disturbing discoveries. Malcius encounters a figure he never expected to see again. Sefi comes face to face with peop...

The party awakens from Rory’s unsettling trial and steps into a world transformed. Snow covers the earth, the cold cuts to the bone, and a familiar fear settles over Thormir as he recognizes a place that should not exist. The Winter Lunar Festival is alive with music, color, and celebration, yet something in the air feels wrong, as if the world itself is holding its breath.

Each hero senses that this strange vision carries a truth they are not yet ready to face. Malcius struggles against the biting cold and the warmth of unexpected kindness. Sefi fe...

The party finally begins their long-promised training with Rory, the enigmatic druid who’s been guiding Thor­mir’s connection to his mote. What starts as peaceful meditation (and Sefi’s ill-advised mushroom trip) quickly spirals into a chaotic, high-stakes battle as Rory pushes the group far beyond their comfort zones.

Between booming blades, teleporting strikes, bardic marches, shape-shifting, spore clouds, and a glowing mote that seems to have a will of its own, the team is forced to confront both their power and their limits. And as Rory ramps up the intensity, the line between “training” and “surviv...

After their brutal battle with the bandits, tensions simmer as the party hauls their prisoners back toward Beckinsdale, only for Thormir’s glowing mote to suddenly dart off the path, leading them into a mysterious spore-filled forest. There, they encounter Rory, a weathered dwarven druid wreathed in fungi who claims to be a guide across worlds. Inside his glowing mushroom cottage, the party meets Rory’s strange companion, Sebastian, and learns cryptic truths about their own motes, the nature of the “Unfated Ones,” and the multiverse itself.

As Rory challenges each of them: Malcius wrestling with mercy, Sefi see...

The battle at the bandit camp reaches its breaking point as spells flare, blades clash, and tempers run hot. When one of the surviving bandits surrenders, the party finds themselves at odds, especially Todd and Malcius, whose clashing beliefs over justice and mercy threaten to tear the group apart. Should they let the survivor live to answer for his crimes, or finish what they started? With emotions running high and secrets unraveling, the line between hero and executioner grows dangerously thin.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

...

The party pushes deeper into the woods outside Beckinsdale and finally discovers the bandit camp behind the recent burglaries. Malcius tries to talk his way out, but blades are soon drawn. What begins as a tense standoff quickly erupts into chaos as Sefi wades into the fray, Todd and Thormir square off against ruthless raiders, and spells flash through the trees. Narrow escapes, bloodied blades, and unanswered questions set the stage for what’s still to come.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

...

A year ago, our party set out on a wild quest. Now, one year later, the adventure’s only just begun. Join the celebration (and maybe win some loot)! Check with us in the next few days to find out how to enter to win!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" by Bardcore. Follow them on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music

Additional DM...

The party wakes at the Brave Lion, where breakfast brings more than just food, it brings reminders of last night’s chaos. With the mysterious tree now gone, they return to the Lion’s Den to settle damages, test Todd’s questionable “repair” skills, and confront the costs of their choices. But as gold is handed over and cracks are mended, the ceiling above still tells a different story, and new shadows begin to gather on the horizon.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd...

Need to catch up before diving into the next chapter? This special recap episode of You’ve Got to Be Critting Me covers everything from Episodes 15–26.

Join Malcius, Sefi, Thormir, and Todd as they battle cavern-dwelling horrors, fight off gnolls alongside a vengeful one-tusked giant, stumble through burglary investigations, and unleash pure chaos with a bag of magic beans that sends a beanstalk crashing through the roof of an inn.

The adventure crescendos in Beckinsdale, where every dead end leads to deeper mysteries.

And stick around: there’s a small preview of Episode 27, where...

A quiet night at the Lion’s Den turns into absolute chaos when Thormir plants one of Malcius’ mysterious beans. What sprouts is no ordinary garden variety tree, it’s a massive magical fruit tree that blasts straight through the tavern roof.

Things go from bad to worse when Todd, already a little too deep into the drinks, grabs one of the glowing fruits and suddenly finds himself belching fire like a dragon. Thormir decides to join in, ending up super-charged with unnatural speed and stuffing 26 enchanted fruits into his pack for later use.

As flames...

The party continues their investigation into the string of burglaries plaguing the town. At the Dependable Depot, the group learns that weapons and healing potions were stolen in a meticulous break-in, raising suspicions about someone preparing for something larger. While questioning the shopkeepers, Todd discovers one of them secretly purchased a dangerous magical item, a set of golden shackles said to prevent teleportation and planar travel.

Through some persuasion (and a little deception), Todd walks away with the shackles under the promise of selling them on the black market. Back at the inn, the group tests...

After a chaotic night at Jimbo’s farm, the party regroups at the Lion’s Den for some much-needed rest… and a questionable number of breakfast beers. Thormir sharpens a femur into a makeshift weapon, Malcius gets magically freshened up, and Todd discovers he may not be the only one watching.

The group brings their findings to the town guard, revealing what they saw through the portal and the growing threat of gnolls nearby. As the captain scrambles for reinforcements, the adventurers agree to assist with a string of unsolved burglaries… but not before Thormir makes a pitstop...

The party wakes up after a harrowing night at Jimbo’s farm, where a mysterious giant escaped through a portal but not without promising to return. As Sefi contemplates her mortality and Malcius strums away in quiet reflection, the team regroups at the Lion’s Den for a hearty breakfast (with varying opinions on melons). But the calm doesn’t last long. A secret note appears under Todd’s bread, Thormir gets a new cape (and a new lease on flair), and Shalah, Todd’s impish companion, may have accidentally shoplifted.

Between investigating, shopping for supplies, and narrowly a...

A mysterious giant, a moonlit battlefield, and a very revealing tooth. The party finds themselves in a chaotic showdown as they fight to stop an unexpected escape. Thormir makes a shocking connection to his past and tries to keep the giant pinned with Moonbeam, and Sefi throws herself (literally) into grappling the impossible. Meanwhile, Malcius pulls the psychic strings with dissonant whispers, and Todd experiments with questionable weapon swaps mid-fight.

Gnolls get scruffed, portals glow ominously, and new secrets come to light in this wild, tooth-rattling episode.

Will they stop the giant from vanishing...

The party's farmyard stakeout finally kicks off! After a night of elaborate planning, questionable traps, and plenty of animal antics, the team faces off against a group of gnolls and a towering, rune-covered giant stepping through a mysterious portal. Chaos erupts as stealthy setups devolve into roars, tripping gnolls, and frantic improvisation. Will they stop the giant before he escapes? And what secrets do those glowing runes hold?

Expect epic combat, farm-themed shenanigans, and plenty of "you've got to be critting me" moments in this wild ride of an episode!

DM: Jeffery Jordan

The party’s stay in Beckinsdale takes a surprising turn as they meet a mysterious figure named Jimbo at the job board, and he's got just the kind of odd quest they didn’t know they were looking for. Between emotional shopping sprees, cryptic hints, and suspicious new allies, our adventurers find themselves drawn deeper into the town's secrets. Will they keep their focus (or their gold)? Or will Jimbo’s pitch be too intriguing to resist?

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd...

After surviving a battle underground, the party heads to Beckinsdale and sets their sights on something far more dangerous: shopping. Todd gets mysterious with his money, Malcius seeks magical upgrades (and maybe a little flair), Thormir stocks up on natural remedies, and Sefi debates the merits of potion flavors. As the crew browses local wares, their packs get heavier, but so do the questions about what lies ahead.

Who’s buying what? Can Todd keep a secret? And how long can a party stay out of trouble while surrounded by magic items?

DM: Jeffery Jo...

The party returns to the well beneath Almore Island, determined to finish what they started. With rope in hand and tension high, they make the dangerous descent into the darkness once more.

Navigating the familiar stone corridors, they prepare themselves for a confrontation with the creature they narrowly escaped before. But as they press deeper, they discover the island's dangers haven't diminished, and the stakes are higher than ever.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

The party tries to enjoy a peaceful morning in town... until Malcius drops a bombshell over breakfast: a cursed statue version of himself, born from a magic bean, wants him dead. As they debate whether to smash it, sell it, or study it, tensions rise and secrets surface. With old ghosts stirred and new plans brewing, the group returns to the island and prepares to face the monster they once left behind.

Magic, missteps, and miniature threats await in this chaotic and cathartic episode of You've Got to Be Critting Me.

DM: Jeffery Jordan<...

Episode 16 – “The Idiots and Their Beans”

Back in Sestone, the party takes a moment to rest, reconnect, and reflect, but peace is a fragile thing. As strange gifts are unwrapped and unsettling questions arise, even the comfort of home can't keep the nightmares away. A bizarre magical discovery threatens to unravel everyone's patience… and possibly their sanity.

DM: Jeffery Jordan

Malcius: Travis Stewart

Sefi: Morgan Gibson

Thormir: Nick Miller

Todd: Bryce Shearer

Podcast art by Ada Hath

Theme song "Royal Joust" b...

Episode 15: No One Left Behind

Cornered in the dark tunnels beneath the monastery, the party faces their deadliest challenge yet - a monstrous carrion crawler lurking in the shadows. With magic and steel, they rally together, fighting not only for their own lives but for the freedom of every prisoner left on the island. As the sea roars against the cliffs and the last escape routes narrow, desperate choices must be made. Can they outwit the island’s horrors, save the villagers, and forge a path to freedom? One wrong step could cost everything - but fo...