Something Witchy: A Sabrina the Teenage Witch Rewatch

It's Season 4 Episode 8 and Sabrina is "Aging, Not So Gracefully," just like Laura! Sabrina's rapid-onset-aging is caused by magic, though, and not perimenopause. She's busy trying to attract Josh when really she should just take a hot minute and be single. Salem also needs to learn how to be alone and deal with rejection instead of stalking Paula Abdul with increasingly elaborate schemes. Marie and Pierre Curie come through the time clock and end up driving the aunts nuts. Poor Dreama is still struggling with her magic use. If only SOMEONE would act as a MENTOR to her! Moral...

Welcome to the Passion Pit! (cue intense guitar solo)

We had some audio gremlins that delayed our next Sabrina episode, so in the meantime you get a return to the Passion Pit where we recap Season 1 Episode 2 of Passions! We got no answers and a million more questions, such as: What would you do if your friend was convinced they saw a ghost girl? Who would you be if you couldn't remember from age 0-20? Is it the Estonians or the Australians that hate the cranes? Why does Luis hate the Cranes so much?

The...

It's time to discuss Season 4 Episode 7 "Prelude to a Kiss" and we're halfway through the series! Although this episode really could have been prevented if Josh had ever watched an episode of Wishbone. Instead, he's decided to rely on a high school student to help him keep his grades up for a critical scholarship. Sure. Sabrina is faced with the choice of helping a college student (who should definitely know how to study by now) and supporting her boyfriend of MANY YEARS at a very important football game. Even after talking it over with some pirates who give great...

It's Halloween season, both in Sabrina and the real world! We're kicking off October with Season 4 Episode 6 "Episode LXXXI: The Phantom Menace." Sabrina gets a job at the coffeeshop and her boss leaves her alone on only her second (!) day to work Halloween night. Unfortunately, you can't escape Halloween when you're a witch, and soon coffee-fueled sewer zombies have filled the local college hangout.

Meanwhile, Zelda and Hilda are chasing that spooky feeling and bring Poe back through the "lost-in-time" clock (even though we zapped in people from the past literally 3 episodes ago). It seems that Poe...

In Season 4 Episode 5, Sabrina has get-itis and Laura and Skye are grossed out. Sabrina goes on a journey of learning to value the things that truly matter in life, even though the ending is a little clunky. But first, she ends up cursing half of Westbrook with magical objects and the alien theory gets a little more real. Meanwhile, Salem gets a pet dog-man and Hilda beefs with Ms. Quick. 

In the real world, Other Realm economics have well and truly broken us and we give advice on what precious metals you should invest in (do not t...

Who's ready to talk about generational trauma? It's Season 4 Episode 4 and suddenly nothing makes sense because the aunts are adopted, they're 620 years old, and they have pictures of themselves as children on a farm sometime in the 1900s. Don't worry - we make things worse by talking about our own family traumas. At least we get Salem dressed up in a cute bellhop outfit.

Join us in this episode as we wonder at Sabrina's complete lack of emotional intelligence, discuss Harvey's terrible parents, and once again ask questions about Hollywood's most famous capuchins. 

WE'VE REACHED EPISODE 100!

Thank you for listening to us for the last 100 episodes of this podcast. Here's to 100 more! (Or however many it takes us to finish the series.) Also, make sure to follow us on social media to see our celebration with Costco cake! But don't be jealous of our longevity or you might develop "jealitosis" like Sabrina in Season 4 Epsiode 3 "Jealousy." (How was that for a segue?)

Sabrina gets jealous of Harvey and Brad's friendship while she is depressed over losing her apparently only friend, Valerie (never mind that we just spent an...

It's time for Sabrina to make a new friend in Season 4 Episode 2 "Dream a Little Dreama Me." Sabrina finds out she has to mentor the walking disaster that is Dreama, raising questions about why her parents would send a that magical-accident-waiting-to-happen to the mortal realm. Hilda randomly decides to blow up her violin and buy a clock shop despite there being no indications in the previous three seasons that this is something her character would be interested in. Lastly, we find out there's a real reason to hate Brad which Skye actually guessed pre-watch! The gang fixes some time-traveling...

WE'RE BACK AND IT'S TIME FOR SEASON 4!

We're starting off not as strong as we would have hoped. Libby and Valerie are both gone and we're not sure which absence is worse. We do get the addition of a new friend for Harvey with Brad but...is that really the kind of friend we've been hoping for? There's also a new intro sequence and really it's just a lot of changes. One thing never changes though, and that's Sabrina's attempts to run away from her problems and take the easy way out. Plus we spy on people...

We've been threatening to do it for so long and it's finally here. A "Passions" recap episode! Skye watches an entire soap opera episode on purpose for the first time ever and Laura delights in the crazy storylines she had forgotten. All soap operas are a little unhinged but Passions takes it up to an 11 right from the start, with hints at dark family secrets, an unhealthy parasocial obsession, a little ghost/angel girl, and the wildest Princess Diana plot line. Enjoy the last of our summer break episodes as we got out on a high!

We're sexy! We're cute! We're popular to boot! We're taking a break but this episode's not fake! We're podcasters! We are podcasters!

After she left Sabrina, Lindsay Sloane gave us one of the most recognizable performances of the new millennium: Big Red in Bring It On. Joined by special guest, Emily Ronquillo, we discuss this iconic film (that somehow Laura never saw) and what it meant to a generation of teenagers...and how we wish it was even gayer. Where were all of the adults in this? Why is the brother even there? Why would they name...

We're heading down the land of kangaroos and vegemite and...mermaids? It's time to kick off the Season 3 break with "Sabrina Down Under" where Valerie is now a mermaid named Fin who has a major attitude. Actually getting to watch this movie took way more effort than it deserved but we made it happen just for our listeners. 

Unlike when she went to Rome, there is actually some continuity when Sabrina visits Australia. Though there is still weird sexual tension with a man who is not Harvey (and is much, MUCH older). We discuss at length how S...

We're at the end of Season 3 and recapping everything went down - all the highs and especially all the lows.
We're joined by special guest Sara Murphy as we discuss the big season arc - Mrs. Kinkle's pregnancy! J/k, obviously it's the family secret and the years it has shaved off of Skye's life. We continue to question the logistics of how the twin thing actually works and wonder what other family secrets might be out there. We also discuss what we think would have been a better family secret. Let us know if you agree!
...

It's finally here! We're recapping the Season 3 Finale, "The Good, the Bad, and the Luau" and Skye can finally rest easy (maybe?) now that the family secret has been revealed. AND Harvey's mom finally gives birth, which is an equally important season arc that we definitely didn't forget about, even if we don't actually have a credit for her actress. Sabrina has to face off with her twin, Katrina, to determine who is evil and who is good. Given what we've seen of Sabrina's behavior this season, that's going to be a trickier decision than it should be. Would...

Break out your reading glasses, it's time to recap Season 3 Episode 24 "Silent Movie." A lot of seemingly random moments come together beautifully in this fantastic episode, although the weird chicken costume in the opening credits is NOT one. Sabrina is also kind of a bad friend to Valerie again but we get some amazing acting by Martin Mull as a silent movie villain. But why do we never find out what's going on with Grammy Kraft?
What we do find out is what Paw Patrol and Sabrina have in common, the history of silent film, and our favorite...

Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight. Exit light, enter Sabrina, the Sandman!
In season 3 Episode 23, Sabrina gets a job as a Sandman, helping her neighbors fall asleep each night....and then spying on their dreams. She meddles in people's lives (again), resulting in some disastrous consequences while her aunts get harassed by a man in a giant orange cone costume. They have to get Sabrina to solve the family secret or face "dire" consequences of their own. They're so desperate, they even ask Salem to help, leading to one of the most iconic Salem lines...

This episode is brought to you by the letter "B" for Big Lebowski, Bee Movie, Burritos, Bananas, and Beverages.
We're rewatching Season 3 Episode 22, "The Long and Winding Shortcut," and actually get some clues to the family secret solved! Sabrina also gets punished for trying to take a shortcut on solving said clues which leads to the bigger question - isn't all magic use a shortcut? Hilda and Zelda square off in a political fight and we discuss what mascots our imaginary political parties would have. Valerie is suddenly religious, we get an iconic Salem line, and chat game...

This is the true story...of two friends...who love Sabrina the Teenage Witch...and have their conversations recorded...as they figure out what happens...in Season 3 Episode 21...Sabrina's Real World. (Pls don't sue us, MTV.)
Salem sells the rights to Sabrina's life to a skeezy producer and now she's the star of her very own reality show. She tries being boring to get the show cancelled but the producer keeps sending more and more life-threatening and exciting events her way. The aunts are too busy with their own problems to help her. Hilda is trapped in a "...

This week we're rewatching Season 3 Episode 20 "Sabrina's Pen Pal." Sabrina finds out her Other Realm pen pal, Martha, is a pal in the penitentiary...and Sabrina helped her escape custody. Not only does Martha continue her thieving ways in Westbrook, she hits on Mr. Kraft and isn't that truly the bigger crime? Sabrina and the aunts team up to try to stop Martha from stealing the most powerful gem in the universe. They are as successful as you would expect them to be. Throughout all of this, Salem has a few extra lives he's trying to burn which leads...

What use would an Other Realm sheep-witch have with an oven? Who knows! We definitely don't find out in Season 3 Episode 19, "The Big Sleep." But BOY do we learn plenty of other trivia! 
Sabrina tries to be proactive in solving the family secret and reaches out to a hidden family relative to ask for a clue. But this relative is highly offended at having her decade-long nap interrupted and fills the Spellman house with poppies. It turns out that Other Realm poppies are deadly to Spellmans and they send the aunts into a deep sleep (but somehow THIS i...

It was a dark and stormy night when Skye and Laura recapped Season 3 Episode 18, "Sabrina, the Teenage Writer." Not really but we did record at night.
Sabrina is finally not perfect at something when she gets a C- on her short story. This sends her into a tail spin and she is determined to channel her inner William Faulkner to bring her grade up. We also learn more about William Faulkner than we could ever use at pub trivia. Unfortunately, she does so on Hilda's magical typewriter which makes whatever she types about become real and a spy...

It's the inaugural episode of "Cauldron Talk" featuring everyone's favorite nerd, Curtis Andersen aka Gordie! We talk to him about his experience on the Sabrina set as well as other hit teen shows of the 90s and how special it was to be part of that cultural moment. We also talk about the two other things we have in common (a disdain for Ronald Reagan and asbestos exposures?) and he weighs in on the house cat soul debate from 3.17. We get some fascinating behind-the-scenes stories of the Violent Femmes episode, talk about what Curtis is up to now, and...

Season 3 Episode 17 is a bittersweet one for us. In "Salem, the Boy" we get some of Curtis Andersen's best work, but we also say goodbye to Gordie. This episode is a wild ride and brings up a lot of tangents, especially about how to explain the sudden house cat "soul" that inhabits Salem's cat body when Salem takes over Gordie's. Is it a cat version of man dough? Is it aliens? Is it a weird immortal cat thing?
The aunts get into some ancient Roman hijinks and Laura has to apologize to Skye for making a false promise...

Would you rather date a genie, a Martian, or an enchanted tree? This is just one of the questions raised in our rewatch of Season 3 Episode 16 "Sabrina, the Matchmaker." Cousin Marigold comes for a visit, bringing along the "delightful" Amanda and a new addition named "Aly." Sabrina decides to do her Cupid-ordered matchmaking service by getting Marigold together with a mortal plumber that Sabrina seems weirdly familiar with. Things obviously go awry (Amanda's involved) but at least we get some consistency...from Sabrina Goes to Rome, of all places! Hilda and Zelda also get into a tiff when Hilda's...

Break out the rum and let the pirates out of your basement! It's time to recap Season 3 Episode 15 "Sabrina and the Pirates." We start off strong with a discussion about catnip alcohol and it only gets more nonsensical from there.
Sabrina gets fake IDs for her and Valerie so they can sneak into an *NSYNC concert (we don't blame them) but that causes Sabrina's magic to become fake. Hilda and Zelda are trying to rehabilitate pirates that have been trapped in their basement for the past 100 years and Hilda gets stabbed at least twice. And poor Salem has...

[Mariah Carey voice] It's TIIIIIIIIME! Skye finally finds out why they have a sticky note that says "Mr. Kraft. Wife. Has one." And BOY does Mr. Kraft have a whopper of an ex-wife.
In Season 3 Episode 14 "Mrs. Kraft," Mr. Kraft moves in with the Spellmans which is the worst thing that has ever happened to Sabrina, or so it seems to her. Somehow Hilda manages to actually be mature about the whole thing...for a while. Eventually both she and Sabrina snap and zap in Mr. Kraft's ex in an attempt to break up him and Zelda. This...

Do you love Sheryl Lee Ralph? Then have we got an episode for you! In Season 3 Episode 13, "What Price Harvey?," she guest stars as cousin Zsa Zsa and helps Sabrina give Harvey a little extra ambition. This leads Harvey to becoming the ultimate supervillain billionaire who just discovered "THE" internet and Sabrina has to find a way to give him some perspective.

While Sabrina's boyfriend is tearing down Westbridge High, the aunts swap personalities for a few days to better understand each other and Salem turns invisible. We also get through some outdated references that clearly the...

Sabrina ignores her aunts' warning not to cast charitable magic spells. She does so anyway. Chaos ensues, as per usual. This time her target is Valerie. Valerie's mom makes a wish on a wishbone that Valerie would be like Sabrina (harsh!). The wish is granted and pretty soon Valerie has magical powers! Meanwhile, Salem ropes Hilda into a moneymaking scheme involving art that predictably goes awry.

Listen in as we "riffle" through Season 3 Episode 12, "Who's So-Called Life Is It Anyway?" (Or is it rifle?) Some questions we ponder: What is Salem's screenplay about? Where did that wishbone...

Sabrina erases Christmas. Laura is a reindeer. Skye is a lizard. It's just a normal week here at Something Witchy when we recap Season 3 Episode 11 "Christmas Amnesia."

Sabrina is being a Grinch (again?) and this time actually makes Christmas disappear. She has to find a way to bring back the Christmas spirit to those around her or risk losing it forever, just as we've lost Bobunk. Eventually Sabrina realizes that the true meaning of Christmas is spending it with those you love, which is something you can cherish all year long.

Laura and Skye start...

We're watching a teen sitcom that takes place in 1998 so OF COURSE it's time for an episode about how true beauty is on the inside. Cousin Susie comes to visit in Season 3 Episode 10 "Sabrina and the Beast" and decides Sabrina is too obsessed with appearances. Sabrina has to learn to look deeper as Harvey slowly becomes more beast than man. While this is happening, Salem and Hilda are being attacked by an evil treadmill that takes over the house (also a cautionary tale to avoid AI exercise equipment) and Zelda tries to solve world hunger once and for all.<...

It's time to figure out what goes on inside Libby's head...literally. It's an episode reminiscent of everyone's favorite Magic School Bus adventure when Sabrina and Salem take a trip up Libby's nose and into her brain in Season 3 Episode 9 "Nobody Nose Libby Like Sabrina Knows Libby." The best way to describe this episode is with the phrase "drippy snot dangle."
But we're not just talking about Libby's inner workings. We discuss the theory that all witches are actually alien visitors from another galaxy and the songs we would want to be played for us when we have...

Wow, this is such an honor. We'd like to thank the Academy for recognizing our hard work. We'd like to thank all the little people who helped us reach this milestone of recapping 3.8: "And the Sabrina Goes To..." We couldn't have made it here without each and everyone of you. We'd also like to thank our families, friends, and cats who have supported us throughout this journey (maybe not so much the cats).
Enough of that. We don't want to get too full of ourselves (like Sabrina does in this episode). While Sabrina's busy accepting awards of herself...

It's a bonus episode! Join us as we review the Sabrina soundtrack that was released in 1998 by Geffen Records (Laura got it for Christmas '98!). This CD is packed with hits from big names like Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, and...Pure Sugar? Maybe all the songs aren't complete hits but it's a perfect time capsule of late 90s pop music. Plus we get a bonus clue to the family secret!

Salem’s latest bad habit spirals out of control in You Bet Your Family when his gambling streak results in Sabrina, Hilda, and Zelda being lost in a poker game to the very shady Diamond Dave. As the Spellman family faces magical servitude, Sabrina races to fix Salem’s mistake before it’s too late. We unpack the episode’s chaos while also sharing our own gambling experiences, diving into medieval illnesses (as one naturally does), and exploring how different witches develop their own unique methods of casting magic. Between magical debts and high-stakes consequences, this episode proves that when Sal...

It’s Halloween in Season 3, Episode 6, “Good Will Haunting,” and Sabrina’s creepy gift from Aunt Beulah (a porcelain Molly Dolly) turns movie night into full monster mayhem. While Harvey, Valerie, and Justin assume it’s just another prank, Sabrina battles a possessed doll unleashing Frankenstein, mummies, and total chaos. Meanwhile, Hilda and Zelda finally attend Aunt Beulah’s 500-year-running Halloween party (this year’s theme: insane asylum), where candy corn cancels magic and brain-switching chickens are somehow involved. We also go on a deep dive of late '60s sketch comedy as we pay tribute to the brilliant guest stars on...

This week we’re flipping out over Season 3, Episode 5: “Pancake Madness.” When Sabrina ignores her aunts’ very dramatic warning about the Spellman family’s dark pancake secret, she quickly discovers they weren’t kidding. What starts as “just one bite” spirals into full-blown breakfast addiction chaos, complete with cafeteria meltdowns, syrup hallucinations, and one extremely unhinged Melissa Joan Hart performance that we absolutely love.

Meanwhile, Hilda gets deported to the northern part of the Other Realm (which looks suspiciously Canadian). It’s absurd, it’s chaotic, and it might be one of the most memorable episodes of the season.

W...

This week on Something Witchy, we’re diving into Season 3, Episode 4: “The Pom Pom Incident,” an episode that firmly earns Sabrina a new title: terrible friend. When Valerie decides she wants to try out for the cheerleading squad, Sabrina’s “helpful” instincts take a sharp left turn into mind manipulation, questionable ethics, and a whole lot of pom poms. We unpack Sabrina’s control issues, Valerie’s very valid desire to try something new, and the episode’s surprisingly thoughtful take on friendship and autonomy.

Plus, cousin Mortimer rolls into town as a chaotic witch-gician with a flair for broken a...

This week on Something Witchy, Laura and Skye revisit Season 3, Episode 3: “Suspicious Minds,” an episode fueled entirely by jealousy, bad decisions, and one extremely questionable detective hire. When a school assignment pairs Harvey with Libby as a “married couple,” Sabrina insists she’s fine… right up until she hires Roland to spy on them and absolutely spirals.

We break down the episode’s noir-inspired detective fantasy and Roland’s many disguises. Plus, we dig into Gordie’s very short-lived marriage to Sabrina, Libby’s relentless boundary-pushing, and the chaos unfolding at the Knoll as everyone ends up spying on each other...

Embarrassment is contagious in Season 3, Episode 2, “Boy Was My Face Red.” When Valerie suffers a mortifying moment in the cafeteria, Sabrina tries to help by casting a spell to erase embarrassment altogether—but, as usual, magic comes with unintended consequences. What starts as a well-meaning attempt to save a friend quickly backfires, transferring the humiliation straight to Sabrina herself.

We break down this episode’s many cringe-worthy moments. Along the way, we talk teen insecurity, why embarrassment is a rite of passage, and how sometimes the only way out is straight through. Plus: stretched ears, historical humiliation montages...

Season 3 kicks off with big decisions, bigger magic, and one very overdue witch’s license.

In "It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad Season Opener," Sabrina finally earns her witches’ license—or at least part of it. Before she can use it, she learns there’s a catch: she must uncover a long-hidden Spellman family secret, with surprise relatives popping in to “help.” No pressure! Meanwhile, back in the mortal world, Sabrina is juggling being put in charge of the school dance theme, Mr. Kraft’s ever-growing list of opinions, and an ultimatum from Harvey and Dashiell that forces her...