When Grief Comes Home

40 Episodes
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By: Erin Leigh Nelson, Colleen Montague LMFT, and Brad Quillen

When Grief Comes Home is a podcast that supports parents who are grieving while raising children living through the loss of a parent or sibling. From how to talk to your child about the death to healing practices for resiliency, this podcast addresses challenges parents face after a significant death and ways to process, honor, and integrate the loss over time. Listeners will feel understood and better equipped to process and express their own grief as they support their child. The When Grief Comes Home podcast goes along with the book of the same name. The book can be ordered...

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For more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org 


After the Goodbye: Practical Steps for Families
After the Goodbye: Practical Steps for Families episode artwork
#2
10/06/2026

The hours and days after a death can feel unreal: your world is in park, but the outside world keeps moving at full speed. We offer a practical, gentle after-death checklist for parents who are grieving while still trying to steady their children. If you’ve been searching for “what to do when someone dies,” this is the grounded starting point we wish every family had. 

We talk through the first steps with care, including how to take your time at the hospital or hospice, how to notify the inner circle without carrying every call yourself, and why the...


Secondary Losses
Secondary Losses episode artwork
#1
09/01/2026

Grief doesn’t only take a person. It can take your future in a hundred quiet ways, then surprise you with a wave when you thought you were “doing okay.” Today we’re talking about secondary losses, the ripple effects of loss that show up months and even years later, and why a single milestone like an engagement post, a graduation, or a new baby can drop you right back into the rawness.

Brad, Erin, and Colleen unpack what secondary loss really looks like for parents grieving a spouse or parents grieving a child. We explore the ripple m...


How To Support Your Child Through Grief
How To Support Your Child Through Grief episode artwork
#19
05/26/2026

Grief changes a family’s whole weather system, and parenting through it can feel impossible when you’re trying to protect a child while you’re hurting too. We sit down with Dr. Pamela Gabbay, author of Understanding and Supporting Bereaved Children, to get practical, field-tested guidance on what grieving kids and teens actually need and what adults often get wrong when they’re trying to help.

We talk about why listening is a grief skill, and how one small shift in language can open a door. Dr. Gabbay explains why “How are you feeling?” can backfire, and offers g...


Northing Is Wasted: Part 2 - Davey Blackburn
Northing Is Wasted: Part 2 - Davey Blackburn episode artwork
#18
05/12/2026

The hardest losses do not stay neatly private, and when grief becomes public it can feel like you are bleeding in front of a crowd. We sit down again with Davey Blackburn to talk about what happens when a homicide shatters your family and the world has opinions, theories, and headlines. This conversation includes a content warning, because parts of Davey’s story involve the murder of his wife Amanda and their unborn child, yet it also holds real hope for parents who feel like they will never breathe normally again.

We dig into the complexity of gr...


Nothing Is Wasted: Part 1 - Davey Blackburn
Nothing Is Wasted: Part 1 - Davey Blackburn episode artwork
#17
04/28/2026

A random, shuffled worship song becomes a turning point in a story no family ever wants to live. We sit down with pastor and author Davey Blackburn to talk about the murder of his wife Amanda and their unborn child during a home invasion, and the complicated road that followed. This conversation includes details that may be hard to hear, but it also holds steady focus on grief, faith, and the long work of healing.

Davey opens up about the kind of shock that scrambles your senses, your expectations, and even your beliefs about how the world...


The Griever's Calendar
The Griever's Calendar episode artwork
#16
04/14/2026

Some of the hardest grief days aren’t circled on anyone’s holiday planner. We’ve learned from parents that the calendar can ambush you with emotion on days you never expected: the first New Year’s Day without them, a Super Bowl Sunday that used to be full of laughter, an April Fools moment that makes you wish it were all a prank, or even Tax Day when paperwork forces you to face a new identity.

We walk through the Griever’s Calendar and explain why these “ordinary” dates can hit so hard when you’re parenting throug...


Expressing Your Grief Through the Arts
Expressing Your Grief Through the Arts episode artwork
#15
03/31/2026

Grief often steals our words, but the body keeps speaking. We open up about how loss rewires the nervous system, why kids struggle to “talk it out,” and what actually helps: safety you can feel, choices that restore control, and creative expression that carries what language can’t. With Erin Nelson and Colleen Montague from Jessica’s House, we break down the brain science in plain terms and show how warm light, soft seating, and even dinner can tell the body it’s safe enough to heal.

From there, we get practical. You’ll learn how to co-regulate...


God Meets Us In Our Suffering
God Meets Us In Our Suffering episode artwork
#14
03/17/2026

The ground can drop out in a single phone call—or grind away over months of scans and unanswered pain. We sit down with pastors and co-authors Rolf Jacobson and Michael Pancost to talk about cancer, grief, and the fierce honesty that keeps families tethered when life breaks open. Their friend and co-author Carl died before the manuscript was finished, and that loss threads through every story with clarity and care: no platitudes, no shortcuts, just presence, prayer, and practical help.

We unpack the shock of 30 days in the hospital with no contact, the logistics of telling a...


How Saying Goodbye Affects Grief
How Saying Goodbye Affects Grief episode artwork
#13
03/03/2026

What if you never got to say goodbye? We dig into that question with honesty and care, unpacking how sudden loss and anticipated loss shape grief in different, but equally real, ways. From the shock that hits your nervous system to the looping what if thoughts, we name what so many parents feel but struggle to put into words—and we offer simple, practical ways to say what was left unsaid.

Together, we explore the five phrases that heal—thank you, I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, and I forgive you—and show how to use t...


Saying Goodbye - After a Long Term Illness
Saying Goodbye - After a Long Term Illness episode artwork
#12
02/17/2026

The diagnosis redraws the map of a family’s life, and suddenly everyone is living in two worlds: the one they knew and the one they never asked for. We dive into anticipatory grief—the real grief that begins long before a death—unpacking how it changes routines, identities, and relationships. From the “before and after” moment to the long grind of treatments, we name the hidden costs of caregiving, the overwhelm of new medical language, and the relentless fatigue that makes even simple decisions feel heavy.

Together with Erin Nelson and Colleen Montague from Jessica’s House, we ge...


Grieving Your Disenfranchised Loss
Grieving Your Disenfranchised Loss episode artwork
#11
02/03/2026

Some grief gets welcomed with casseroles and open arms. Other grief is met with silence, side‑eye, or the sense that you don’t have the right to mourn. We go straight at disenfranchised grief—losses like suicide, overdose, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or the death of an ex‑partner—naming how stigma shrinks support and deepens isolation, and how to reclaim the validation every mourner deserves.

We share Erin’s story of two very different deaths and the stark contrast in community response, then define disenfranchised grief and the “unwritten rules” that tell people to hide. Together with Colleen, we...


Going Back to School After Loss
Going Back to School After Loss episode artwork
#10
01/20/2026

When a child returns to school after a death, routine and heartbreak collide. We open this conversation with Erin’s story of walking her daughter into kindergarten weeks after losing her dad and the quiet power of structure—the same faces at the door, a predictable pickup time, and a teacher who became a steady anchor. From there, we build a practical roadmap parents and educators can use right away: how to set up half-days, flexible assignments, and a discreet system for “grief days” so kids can step out before overwhelm takes over.

We talk through classroom dynamics...


Going Back to Work After Loss
Going Back to Work After Loss episode artwork
#9
01/06/2026

The hardest calendar invite is the one that pulls you back to work after a death. Your world has changed, yet the inbox still fills, the meetings still stack, and people don’t know whether to talk about it—or avoid it. In this conversation with Erin Nelson and Colleen Montague from Jessica’s House, we sit with the truth that you’re not the same person, and work needs to meet you where you are.

Erin shares her story of stepping away after her son Carter died and returning in phases, naming the clunky handoffs, the new work...


How to Support a Griever During the Holidays
How to Support a Griever During the Holidays episode artwork
#8
12/23/2025

Joyful traditions can feel unbearably loud when grief settles in a home. We sat down to map out a kinder way to show up for grieving parents during the holidays—one rooted in companioning, where presence matters more than pep talks and fixing gives way to listening. The goal isn’t to lift someone out of grief; it’s to walk alongside them with steadiness, humility, and care.

We unpack how the season’s bright energy often clashes with the body-heavy weight of loss, and why “Don’t cheer them up” can be the most loving rule of thumb. You’...


Grieving Through the Holiday Season
Grieving Through the Holiday Season episode artwork
#7
12/09/2025

The lights are bright, the music is loud, and everywhere you look someone is telling you to be merry—while your home carries an empty seat. We open the door to a different way of doing the holidays after a death, one that honors grief, protects your energy, and still makes space for your kids’ sparkle when they have it.

Together, Erin and Colleen name the reality many parents feel but rarely say out loud: traditions can hurt, “firsts” can ambush you, and rest isn’t optional. You’ll hear practical ways to simplify without guilt, set boundaries w...


Growing Through Loss
Growing Through Loss episode artwork
#6
11/25/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

A four-year-old finds her dad gone one morning, and that moment reshapes the rest of her life. Audrey joins us to share how childhood loss became a compass—through awkward school projects, the hus...


Growth After Loss
Growth After Loss episode artwork
#5
11/11/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

What if the only way out of the storm is through it—and what if that path could widen your life? Erin and Colleen explore how leaning into grief, rather than outrunning it, can...


Cradled in Hope
Cradled in Hope episode artwork
#4
10/28/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

Hope doesn’t erase grief—it gives it somewhere to go. We sit down with Ashley Oplinger, founder and executive director of Bridget’s Cradles and host of Cradled in Hope, to trace how a h...


Pregnancy Loss and Stillbirth
Pregnancy Loss and Stillbirth episode artwork
#3
10/14/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

The room gets quieter when pregnancy loss comes up, and that silence can make grief feel even heavier. We open the door wide—talking candidly about miscarriage and stillbirth, why the loss can fee...


Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting Empathy in the Midst of Grief
Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting Empathy in the Midst of Grief episode artwork
#2
09/30/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

When grieving, we desperately need what therapist Kristi Gaultiere calls "oxygen for the soul" – empathy. Not quick fixes or sympathetic platitudes, but the profound healing that comes through being truly seen in our pai...


Finding Your Community
Finding Your Community episode artwork
#1
09/16/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

In this episode, Erin and Colleen share the powerful concept of "the rule of thirds" in grief support—how a third of people will disappointingly vanish, will provide neutral assistance, and will show up...


The Weather of Your Grief
The Weather of Your Grief episode artwork
#21
06/17/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

In this episode, Erin reflects on a moment of panic while driving through fog after her son’s death—an emotional “grief storm” that arrived without warning. We explore how grief can feel unpredict...


Grief and Belief - Part 2
Grief and Belief - Part 2 episode artwork
#20
06/03/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

In this episode, we explore spirituality’s complex role in grief—from finding unexpected solace to wrestling with deep doubts.

Erin Nelson shares how scripture became her lifeline after her husband’s death...


Grief and Belief - Part 1
Grief and Belief - Part 1 episode artwork
#19
05/20/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

In this raw, honest conversation about grief and belief, Erin Nelson shares her starkly different spiritual journeys through two devastating losses. After her husband died in a plane crash, her faith deepened as s...


Honoring Your Connection as You Grieve
Honoring Your Connection as You Grieve episode artwork
#18
05/06/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

In this episode, Brad, Erin, and Colleen explore how tangible reminders, personal stories, and ongoing emotional bonds play essential roles in both adult and child grief processes. By embracing the fullness of relationships a...


The Complexities of Grief after an Accidental Overdose
The Complexities of Grief after an Accidental Overdose episode artwork
#17
04/22/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

In this episode, Brad, Colleen, and Erin discuss the unique challenges families face when grieving the loss of a loved one from an accidental overdose. Families navigate the stigma associated with this type o...


Changes in Your Family After a Death
Changes in Your Family After a Death episode artwork
#16
04/08/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

In this episode, Brad, Colleen, and Erin explore the complexities of grief within a family, offering wisdom on navigating the unique healing journeys of each member.

Losing a loved one disrupts t...


Supporting Your Child After the Loss of their Sibling
Supporting Your Child After the Loss of their Sibling episode artwork
#15
03/25/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

In this episode, Erin, Colleen, and Brad discuss how a parent can support their child as they grieve the loss of their sibling. Parents are encouraged to hold honest conversations as their child o...


When You're Grieving Your Child
When You're Grieving Your Child episode artwork
#14
03/11/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

In this episode, Brad, Colleen, and Erin talk about grieving a child and the many ways a family changes after the death. Partner relationships shift as each person finds their own way to h...


Supporting Your Child After the Death of a Parent
Supporting Your Child After the Death of a Parent episode artwork
#13
02/25/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

When your child loses their parent, they often experience a compromised sense of safety. They may wonder if something else bad might happen and even worry about their surviving parent’s health and wel...


Grieving the Death of Your Partner
Grieving the Death of Your Partner episode artwork
#12
02/11/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

Losing your spouse or partner changes everything. In this episode, Brad, Colleen, and Erin illuminate the often-overlooked changes that come with such a profound loss. 

The loss of a spouse or pa...


Special Book Release Episode
Special Book Release Episode episode artwork
#11
02/04/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief.

This episode explores the newly released book, When Grief Comes Home. We discuss why we wrote the book, how the book can help you in grief and also reveals a little bit about...


Common Differences and Reactions in Grief
Common Differences and Reactions in Grief episode artwork
#10
01/28/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief.

In this episode, we discuss how each person in a family grieves differently and offer practical wisdom for parents as they balance self-care and the needs of their children.

This episode...


The Complexities of Grief after a Suicide or Death by Violence
The Complexities of Grief after a Suicide or Death by Violence episode artwork
#9
01/14/2025

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief. 

I this episode we explore emotions with complex deaths—guilt, shame, and emotional isolation. These feelings are often magnified when the loss is stigmatized, such as in cases of suicide. We find ways of...


Decision Making after a Death
Decision Making after a Death episode artwork
#8
12/31/2024

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief.

This episode supports parents who are making decisions about the funeral. It highlights how to involve your children, ensuring they feel secure and included. The team shares self-care tips, such as maintaining nutrition...


Holiday Grief - How to Take Care of Yourself
Holiday Grief - How to Take Care of Yourself episode artwork
#7
12/17/2024

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief.

This episode explores how to take care of yourself while grieving during the holidays. We highlight communication within families and provide tips on how to help children express their mixed emotions of joy...


Opening to Grief
Opening to Grief episode artwork
#6
12/03/2024

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief.

This episode explores how to be present to the emotions of grief and allow our community to support us. As we mourn during the early days, we create space for emotional processing and...


Grieving through the Holidays
Grieving through the Holidays episode artwork
#5
11/18/2024

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief.

In this episode, we explore how the holidays can increase the weight of our grief. How can you honor each person's unique way of grieving while communicating about individual needs surrounding the holidays...


Honoring Your Grief through Ceremonies and Funerals
Honoring Your Grief through Ceremonies and  Funerals episode artwork
#4
11/05/2024

Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief.

This episode explores funerals, the grieving process, and how to allow space for mourning during the funeral planning process. By honoring the unique needs of grievers, we look for meaningful ways to remember...