But For Real

Ever stood in front of a closet FULL of clothes and somehow felt like you had absolutely nothing to wear? 🙃 Or bought something just because it fit, even though you didn't actually like it? Yeah, we've been there.

This week, we're joined by Dacy Gillespie, founder of Mindful Closet, a weight-inclusive, anti-diet personal styling practice that's challenging everything we've been taught about what makes clothes "flattering." Spoiler alert: Your body was never the problem.

We're unpacking how diet culture, fatphobia, and arbitrary fashion rules have completely messed with our relationships to clothing—and how we can r...

What if we told you that actual scientists are studying ghosts, near-death experiences, and other paranormal phenomena—and publishing their findings in peer-reviewed journals? 👀👻 Before you roll your eyes or start shopping for a spirit box, hear us out.

This week, we're joined by Courtney M. Block, librarian, paranormal researcher, and author of Inside the World's Haunted Libraries and The Encyclopedia of Parapsychology. We're diving into the fascinating world of parapsychology, exploring how to balance scientific skepticism with genuine curiosity, why we shouldn't be so quick to dismiss experiences we can't explain, and what makes libraries such perfectl...

What if putting a bunch of electrodes on your head could tell us something about your anxiety, attention, or how your brain works? Is this legit neuroscience, or are we about to accidentally join a cult? 🫠

We've all heard the internet wellness gurus telling us to "rewire our brains," but WTF does that actually mean? This week, we're joined by Cory Williams, MS, BCN, qEEG-D, a neurofeedback and brain mapping specialist at Nashville Family Wellness, to separate the actual science from the wellness-industrial-complex nonsense.

We're breaking down what brain mapping can (and can't!) tell us, how...

When someone asks what you want and your automatic response is “I don’t care, whatever you want”… even though you absolutely DO care… congrats, babe. We might need to talk about people pleasing. 😬

In this episode, we’re breaking down why so many of us are more comfortable disappointing ourselves than disappointing someone else. We talk about where people-pleasing behaviors come from, how they differ from simply being kind or considerate, and how to start tolerating the discomfort of having needs, saying no, and—gasp—letting someone be disappointed in you.

Because the goal isn’t to stop carin...

What if you know you’re supposed to touch grass… but you don’t particularly enjoy bugs, dirt, hiking, sweating, or being outside unless it’s approximately 72 degrees with a light breeze? 😌🌿

This week, Val and Em sit down with forest therapy guide (and Emerson's grad school friend/ cohort mate) Georgia Bromehead to talk about what “connecting with nature” actually means when you’re living in a city, glued to a screen, overwhelmed by climate change, or simply not an Outdoors Person™.

And good news: you do not need to buy hiking boots, memorize bird calls, or disappear in...

What if the thing you've written off as a personality flaw your entire life is actually ADHD? And what if the way ADHD gets diagnosed, treated, and talked about has never really accounted for who you are?

This week, Val and Em sit down with Dr. Chanel Thomas, founder, CEO, and clinical director of Blue Sage Wellness — a multi-state psychiatric group practice built specifically to serve communities that mainstream mental health has historically failed. They get into late ADHD diagnosis, medication stigma, what it actually means to practice psychiatry from an anti-oppressive lens, and why "high-functioning" often ju...

Dr. Jen Le Coguic is a pelvic health physical therapist with over 15 years of experience and the founder of Nashville Pelvic Health — and she's here to talk about the body part most of us are either ignoring, overtightening, or doing Kegels for when we absolutely should not be.

This episode covers way more territory than you'd expect: why bladder leaks, pelvic pain, and constipation are common but not normal, why "just do your Kegels" is actually bad advice for a lot of people, what the pelvic floor has to do with your back pain and your breathing, an...

Did you know your brain will ask if it should be doing something else about four seconds into this episode? That's not a joke — that's the real documented average. And honestly, it's kind of the whole point.

In Episode 50, Val and Em go deep on attention — not the "just delete TikTok" version of this conversation, but the real one. The systemic, political, whose-profit-is-this-serving one. Val brings fresh insights from her Attention Activism 101 course with the Strother School of Radical Attention (SoRA), and Em brings a fracking metaphor nobody asked for but everyone needed.

They also get...

Rachel Welty is a Nashville-based family and juvenile law attorney and the founder of Welty Law Office, where she has spent nearly 20 years doing things differently. Named to the Tennessee Mid-South Super Lawyers list and a Tennessee Rule 31 Listed Mediator, Rachel takes a child advocacy-centered approach to family law — because she genuinely believes that when kids' needs come first, parents do better too.

She works with clients navigating divorce, child custody, support, orders of protection, adoption, DCS involvement, and LGBTQIA+ family law issues, and she's known for bringing a trauma-informed lens to a legal system that often do...

Ashley Hampton is a licensed therapist, certified clinical supervisor, adjunct professor at Vanderbilt University, and the co-founder of two organizations doing quietly revolutionary work in Tennessee. As co-founder and clinical director of Hampton House Counseling, she's built one of Nashville's first BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ centered group therapy practices from the ground up — with diversity not as an afterthought, but as its foundation.

As co-founder and executive director of Healing in the Margins, she's created a nonprofit that addresses the therapy access gap for Black, brown, and queer communities through clinician training, a therapy fund, community partnerships, and mo...

Allie Phillips is a working mom of two, a Tennessee native, and a first-time political candidate turned relentless advocate. After being denied lifesaving reproductive care under Tennessee's abortion ban following a devastating diagnosis at her 20-week anatomy scan, Allie was forced to leave the state to terminate a pregnancy her doctors confirmed was not compatible with life. She documented her experience publicly in real time — and the response changed everything.

Allie went on to co-file a landmark lawsuit against the state of Tennessee with the Center for Reproductive Rights, challenging the narrow scope of the state's medical ex...

Val and Em are flying solo (duo?) this week — no guest, just the two of them getting into one of their favorite obsessions: community. Why is it so hard to find your people as an adult? Why do we feel lonely even when our calendars are full? And what does the actual research say about what makes community work?

They get into the loneliness epidemic (yes, it's as bad as you've heard), the concept of third spaces and why we're losing them, the underrated power of weak ties (heeey Diane from Pilates), and what Priya Parker's The Ar...

In this episode of But For Real, we delve into the transformative realm of expressive arts therapy with our distinguished guest, Wednesdae Reim Ifrach. Their expertise lies at the confluence of queer embodiment, complex trauma, and creative healing, offering a profound perspective on how art can serve as a conduit for emotional expression and personal growth.

We explore the misconception that art therapy is merely "arts and crafts for sad people," illuminating its true potential to facilitate deep, somatic healing beyond verbal communication. The conversation traverses the intersections of identity, creativity, and resistance, emphasizing the vital role...

What if the version of you most of the world knows… isn’t actually *you*?

In this episode of But For Real, we’re sitting down with Devon Price, PhD—social psychologist, author of Unmasking Autism (+ several other books!), and badass autistic human—to get really REAL about something that is kinda the opposite of that:

Masking.

That pattern of adaptation that’s helped you survive… but can slowly erode at your sense of self. 🫠

In this conversation, we get into what it actually means to “mask” as an autistic or otherwise neurodiverg...

So… your partner brings up opening the relationship. 👀

And you’re trying to be thoughtful, open-minded, maybe even a little curious…

but there’s also this voice in the background like:

“Wait… do I actually want this?” 🫠

In this episode of But For Real, we’re sitting down with therapist Em Mortenson to get into the real conversation around polyamory and ethical non-monogamy—beyond the labels, beyond the hot takes, and into what this actually looks and feels like in real life.

Because yeah, on paper?

It can sound freeing. Hones...

What if the thing you’ve been calling “being rude”… is actually just having a boundary?

Yeah. Let’s talk about it.

Because somewhere along the way—especially for women, people-pleasers, and anyone raised to prioritize politeness over honesty—boundaries got branded as selfish, cold, or straight-up b*tchy.

And honestly? That narrative is doing damage.

In this episode of But For Real, we’re doing a full, unfiltered deep dive into boundaries—what they actually are, why they feel so uncomfortable, and how your relationship with them changes as you grow up (or burn o...

We need to talk about suicide… like actually talk about it.

Not in the polished, clinical, tip-list way. Not in the fear-based, “don’t say the wrong thing” way. But in the real, messy, human way that most of us have experienced—whether personally or through someone we love.

Because here’s the truth: suicide is way more common, complex, and misunderstood than we’re comfortable admitting. And the way we talk about it? Often makes it harder—not easier—for people to feel seen, supported, or safe enough to open up.

In this episode of Bu...

We need to talk about sex addiction — because culturally, this phrase gets thrown around a lot. And depending on who you ask, it’s either a legitimate disorder… or a moral panic wrapped in clinical language.

Either way, it is certainly true that some people need expert support to realign their sexual behavior with their values and intentions, and heal any wounds that may underlie sexual acting out. But is addiction the one best model for doing this work?

In this episode of But For Real, we’re diving into the messy, controversial world of sex addi...

We need to talk about child stars, y’all. 🎬 Not just in a nostalgic “remember when?” way. And not just in a “look at their meltdown” way. In a developmental, nervous-system, attachment theory-informed way.

Because culturally, we’ve been sold a shiny story about fame, money, and success. But from a developmental perspective, achieving fame early in life can leave lasting scars, which are too often exploited as memes and clickbait headlines.

In this episode of But For Real, we unpack the psychological underbelly of child stardom — from Britney in that revealing schoolgirl uniform at 16 to Bieber strippe...

Let’s be honest. We all love a little drama… as long as it’s not happening to us. 😜

From celebrity family feuds to wedding-day chaos to messy public statements, we can’t look away. But the second that kind of public-facing conflict hits our own nervous system? We’re either shutting down, spiraling, or plotting our escape into permanent invisibility.

In this episode of But For Real, therapists Val and Emerson unpack the psychology of why we love drama and gossip— at least, of course, until it’s about us. We’re talking attachment wounds, tribalism...

If conflict makes your chest tighten, your brain freeze, or your instinct scream “AVOID AT ALL COSTS, ABORT, ABORT!,” this episode is for YOU, honey.

In Episode 37 of But For Real, therapists Val and Em talk honestly about repair—not the Instagram version, but the real-life, messy, emotionally vulnerable process of repairing relationships after conflict. We recorded this episode fresh off a hard week, which means we’re not speaking theoretically. We’re speaking from inside it.

We unpack what repair actually looks like when it wasn’t modeled, when uncertainty feels unbearable, and when your nervous...

If you’ve done “the work,” learned nervous system skills, gone to therapy… and you still get dysregulated, this episode is your permission slip to stop spiraling about it.

In Episode 36 of But For Real, Val and Em break down what emotional regulation actually means—and why TikTok, pop psychology, and even therapy culture have wildly distorted it. We start the episode under-caffeinated, under-slept, and already dysregulated (relatable), then use that exact moment to talk about what being human really looks like.

We answer a listener question from a self-described “dysregulated diva” who’s frustrated that anxiety spi...

January is just… weird, y’all. Not awful necessarily, but also not really the motivation-charged era we’re culturally conditioned that it should be. 

In this episode of But For Real, we’re naming the post-holiday emotional hangover that sneaks up on so many of us every January. The irritability. The numbness. The low-grade existential dread. The urge to hibernate while the internet screams “new year, new you.”

We’re calling it Seasonal Feelings Disorder, not a diagnosis, not a pathology, just an honest name for the cocktail of nervous system burnout, disrupted routines, winter darkness, and c...

Ever tried hypnosis and thought, “Cool… nothing is happening,” while everyone else in the comments claims their soul left their body?

Same.

In this episode, we’re pulling hypnosis out of the movie version and into real life. No clucking like a chicken. No blacking out. No dramatic “going under.” Just an honest, funny, science-backed conversation about what hypnosis actually is, why it often feels subtle, and why your brain isn’t broken if you’re still aware of everything.

We talk about blinking aggressively during guided sessions, noticing every swallow, wondering if you left the dry...

Music is literally the soundtrack of our lives – and music can be incredibly healing when used in the right way. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson dive into the ins and outs of music therapy, how and why it works, and how you can start your own music therapy journey.

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If you feel like adult life is just full of responsibilities, to-dos, meetings, and seriousness, you’re not alone. With busy schedules and the weight of the world, it’s easy to feel disconnected. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson explore the relationship we have as play as adults, why it’s actually integral to your well-being and how to start inviting in joy again 🫶

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In a world full of uncertainty and pain, life can feel devoid of meaning and hope—but what if life could also feel incredibly rich by showing up for it fully? You don’t have to have it all figured out to live with depth, and existential humanistic psychology can help you reconnect with life meaningfully.

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In a world that’s both metaphorically and literally on fire, it can feel nearly impossible to figure out how the hell to live without either feeling like you’re gaslighting yourself into “normalcy” or getting so paralyzed by eco-anxiety that you can’t function. 

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into all things Eco-Anxiety & Planet Grief, as well as steps you can take to navigate a burning world without getting STUCK in the apathetic loop of grieving our Mother Earth.

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Conversations around self-growth are all over every media platform these days – and while introspection and commitment to growth and change is important, it’s easy for it to be an all consuming trap that’s actually the opposite of growth.

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson take a deep dive into the history of the self-growth industrial complex, explore what’s useful, debunk what’s not, and give you real advice on how to tackle self-improvement without spiraling.

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In a time where it feels like 2000s diet culture is back in full force, this week’s episode about eating disorders and body image is important now more than ever. Whether you’re currently struggling with your body, have struggled in the past, love someone who struggles, or are just interested in a deep dive on these complex challenges, this episode is for you.

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Today we have such an exciting episode and a special guest. Santasha Wright-Comer, LMSW, is a Sex-Informed Therapist here The Gaia Center who believes healing and pleasure go hand in hand. A proud wife and mom of two, Santasha brings both warmth and realness into her work, especially when supporting LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC communities in finding safety, joy, and intimacy in their relationships. When she’s not in session, you can catch her in dance class, laughing with her family, or researching the latest mods for The Sims 4.

In this episode, SanTasha shares so much wisdom related to...

Alcohol culture is pervasive—and while alcohol isn’t unhealthy for EVERYONE, the discourse can be pretty inescapable. Whether you’ve been alcohol free for years, curious about your relationship with alcohol, or trying to stop, this episode is for you!

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In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into an always controversial topic: infidelity. They explore what infidelity actually is, statistics, why people cheat, cultural considerations, and the role therapy can play.

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In this episode, we are excited to dive into all things men’s mental health & the power of gaming with one of The Gaia Center’s team members, Sam DiMartino!

In his clinical work, Sam supports individuals and couples through an array of topics like grief, trauma, toxic masculinity + men’s issues, systemic oppression, identity exploration etc and also leads our men’s group Tearing Down The Walls! As our Client Journey Liaison he assists our leadership team with ensuring excellent client care and experience, and he does a damn good job. When he’s not therapizing, you can fi...

Today’s episode is allllll about MONEY HUNNY – how we are influenced to think about the construct of money, financial wellbeing, and balancing all of this in the modern landscape of capitalism and consumerism.

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In today’s world, there’s an interesting juxtaposition between constant (and often necessary) use of technology coupled with conversations around unplugging. In this episode, we dive into digital detoxing, why everyone suddenly wants a flip phone, and how our nervous systems are begging for boundaries. From nostalgic phone memories to the psychology of being “always on,” we’re asking: can we ever truly unplug? (Spoiler: you don’t have to throw your phone in the ocean… but we get it.)

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In this episode, we have our first installment of a special new mini series titled Living Your Activism. In this series, we're talking to activists and advocates across a wide variety of missions and passions about how they found their thing, what they do to stay grounded and connected with joy amidst all the chaos in the world, and what it means to truly live their activism, not just as a checkbox or some burnout inducing giant commitment, but as something that's interwoven throughout their life in a nourishing, sustainable way.

Our guest for this first installment...

While the thought of telling a group of strangers about your inner feelings can be scary for many people, group therapy can actually be incredibly powerful. In this episode, we explore the roots of group therapy, the different types of groups, the benefits, times when group therapy is and isn’t a good fit, and resources for finding a group appropriate for your healing journey.

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Spirituality, religion, and being “woo-woo” are all hot topics these days – especially here in Nashville!

In this episode, Val and Emerson tackle WTF spirituality actually means, how it differs from religion, how it intertwines with existentialism, and low-stakes ways to engage with it while also avoiding spiritual bypassing.

And, as always, we get into other good stuff, including a spooky airBNB story from Val’s cousin (and The Gaia Center’s Director of Operations) Rebecca 👻

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For many people, hearing “couples therapy” brings up the idea of a relationship being in crisis or on the brink of ending – and while couples therapy can be impactful in those cases, there is so much more to it and so many other circumstances where it can be beneficial. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson get into what couples therapy really is, when it’s helpful, when it’s not helpful, and suggestions for what to look for if you’re interested in couples therapy. 

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