Tales of the Lastborns : Marriage, Mischief, and Making Content
Dive headfirst into Tales of the Lastborns, where content creators Dave and Andi mix dark humor, some serious moments, sexy secrets, and chaotic confessions from their creative lives. From behind-the-scenes hilarity to WTF moments that you’ll never forget, this podcast pulls back the curtain on what it’s like to be a little unhinged—and a lot unapologetic. It’s seductive, it’s wild, and it’s exactly the chaos you didn’t know you needed.
Orgy vs Forgy? Same or no?
What do Coke vs. Pepsi debates, mattress tags, and firehouse baby drop boxes have in common? Absolutely nothing—and yet somehow this episode makes it all sexy, silly, and slightly scandalous. Dave, Andi, Scott, and April get into the quirks of retail trauma, why tipping culture feels like a scam, and how a Buckle sales pitch almost led to a nervous breakdown. You’ll laugh, cringe, and maybe even question your own guilty shopping habits along the way.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi<...
Choreplay: Our Dirtiest Love Language Yet
Dave and Andi pack up their lives (and their podcast studio) as they prepare to move back to Nashville. From old court files resurfacing to house-selling horror stories, dishwasher standoffs, and the reality of making content at home — nothing is off limits in this episode.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
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Why Gifts Are Overrated (But DoorDash Isn’t)
Dave and Andi tackle the chaos of marriage finances—joint vs. separate accounts, gift-buying disasters, and the anxiety of money secrets. Plus, a dive into Netflix’s The Hunting Wives and why their neighborhood is just as toxic.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
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Naked Cults, Zombie Barbies, and Other Things We Probably Shouldn't Talk About
This episode dives head-first into Andi's newest snack obsession that's destined for the dreaded "sun-kissed" graveyard. Dave invents a new reason to fear zombie apocalypses, while Andi imagines zombie Barbie dolls—because why not? Add in a head spa experience gone slightly sensual and some questionable British anxiety, and you've got the usual Tales of the Last Borns chaos.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/Ta...
Eye Contact? No Thanks, I’d Rather Set Myself on Fire
This week, Andi admits she’d rather set a room on fire than accidentally lock eyes with a stranger. Dave tries to decode her extreme aversion to eye contact, while Andi insists she can still see everything without ever looking up. They close with eulogies that manage to roast each other from beyond the grave—because death shouldn’t stop you from laughing.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instag...
Silent Disco at the Funeral Home
Ever wondered if you’d rather die at home or in a hospital? Neither had Dave and Andi—until they had to. This week they hilariously navigate through unexpected grief, questionable funeral protocols, and a business idea that's dying to be heard. Tune in, and you might reconsider your own obituary (written by ChatGPT, of course).
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: http...
Scroll Fights, Sex Sounds, and Mexico Meltdowns
In this wildly personal episode, Dave and Andi break down everything from gender roles in furniture stores to a communication breakdown during Andi’s girls’ trip to Mexico. They get vulnerable about grief, personal differences, and yes—what happens when porn is still playing after sex.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
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Waving at Pancakes and Facing Death
Grief is just trauma’s annoying cousin that shows up uninvited—like Southwest’s fart-flavored snacks. Dave and Andi manage to move, mourn, and emotionally malfunction across state lines. Good luck finding a therapist better than this.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Age-Gated and Over It: Porn, Shame, and Parental Failures
What do Hobby Lobby, anal beads, and drive-thru baptisms have in common? According to Dave and Andi—everything. Join them as they talk about the dumbest new sex laws, why Utah is horny as hell, and how shame ruins everything (but also makes for a good podcast).
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.co...
Warning: Object Is Crazier Than She Appears
Who knew trash day could be that hot? Andi’s toxic love language will leave you gasping, while Dave’s warning label might just get him canceled. Also… someone said “Dora” during sex. Chaos.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Boobs, Builders, and Brown Recluses
In this episode, Dave and Andi take a hilarious, sexy, and slightly traumatic walk down memory lane as they revisit every home they’ve lived in over their 14-year marriage—from garter belts and ceiling fans to pool sex and brown recluse infestations.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Do These Boobs Make My Confidence Look Big?
Andi can’t close her mouth and Dave can’t stop touching her boobs. Also, Botoxed vaginas. Yeah, it’s that kind of episode. Join the Lastborns for an unhinged aesthetic deep dive you definitely don’t want to play on speaker at work.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Are We Swingers?
What happens when fantasies become reality—and reality isn’t what you expected? Dave and Andi unpack their journey through swinger spaces, compersion kinks, and why emotional connection is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
From Resting Bitch Face to Risma Glow
Andi’s ego death involved a thunderstorm, hallucinations, and her inner child whispering, “It’s all bullshit anyway.” Join Dave as he tries not to interfere while Andi floats off as vapor—and yes, she still keeps her snark.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Death of an Ego: Dave’s Accidental Psychedelic Spiral
Dave met God. Actually, no—he met himself. And an inner chipmunk named Todd. From accidental mega-doses to finger twitching, reality-bending, and a conversation with the universe, it’s one trippy-ass story. Bonus: Andi names her inner voice after a bird that killed her babies. Cool.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thel...
From Mushrooms to Mindset: How We Rewired Our Lives
Is it possible to heal old wounds with fungus? Tales of the Lastborns gets deeply personal this week — with stories of ego death, redemption, and why growing mushrooms might just save lives.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Two Thumbs Up and One in the Butt
We’re back from our wildest vacation ever—8 days of nudity, dancing, desserts, deep convos, and yes... butt stuff. Tales from Hedonism, Jamaica, where we stripped down literally and emotionally. Nothing was off limits—and nothing will be today either.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
When HBO Taught Us About Sex (And Got It All Wrong)
What happens when you mix vodka, Washington DC, and a strict "no leaning" rule? Andy almost found out the hard way. Plus, she takes us behind the scenes of her days dominating car auctions, while Dave remembers his painfully awkward first time (spoiler: it involved duct-taping a VCR clock to keep things “romantic”).
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com...
Social Media Stalking & Why Dave Will Never Be Free
Andi’s handstands have taken over social media, but that’s not the weirdest thing happening in this episode. We’re introducing the Ghost Wife series—where Andi has died but refuses to let Dave move on. Plus, we talk about the fine line between social media research and full-on stalking, and Dave recalls the time he was almost an escort for cleaning services.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Why We No Longer Have Traditional Jobs… And You’ll See Why
When does a job stop being a job and start becoming a soap opera? From office sex with a city skyline view to unintentional stripteases in sales meetings, Dave and Andi unravel the scandalous side of their 9-to-5 past—including how their relationship started in a medical clinic that should have been shut down long before it was.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com...
Hand Sanitizer is Not Soap (and Other Crimes Against Humanity)
Urinal troughs, hand dryer ambushes, kids sticking their heads under stalls—public restrooms are absolute chaos. This episode is an unfiltered deep dive into the filth, the trauma, and the absurdity of using the bathroom outside your home. Plus, Dave makes a confession that might end his marriage.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X...
Monogamy, Madness, and The Fear of Losing Your Spouse to a Pickleball Champion
Is monogamy just a lie we all agreed to? In this episode, Dave and Andi tackle Wild Love Theory—a concept that suggests love should be limitless, fearless, and open. Sounds beautiful, right? Until you realize it means you might have to let your spouse fall in love with someone else… and be okay with it. Join us for an existential crisis sprinkled with dark humor, questionable wisdom, and the undeniable sex appeal of pickleball.
Be sure to check out the educational and exciting events hosted by Coach Scott and Coach April of Naughty Gym, visit their webs...
Hard Nipples, Sexting Strategies & Unsolicited Dick Pic Etiquette
Sexting: is it hot, or just an exhausting mental exercise? Dave & Andi break down the unexpected struggles of digital flirting, the chaos of autocorrect mid-sext, and why being left on ‘read’ in the middle of dirty talk is a crime against humanity. Also: How should you properly reject a video call from a stranger? And why are men still taking bathroom mirror dick pics with toothpaste splatter in the background? Important discussions are happening here.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: http...
Ejaculation Laws, Snitches, and Tater Yanking: A Legal Nightmare
What happens if you get caught masturbating in Mississippi? A fine? A slap on the wrist? A full SWAT raid on your house? Dave & Andi dive into the completely real proposed Mississippi ejaculation law and try to figure out who would report this, how it could possibly be enforced, and what it means for people who don’t want to have kids. Plus, a deep discussion on how masturbation was explained (or not) in childhood, the weirdest places people have done it, and why one scent still triggers an awkward memory for Dave. Bu...
Crazy Calls, Creepy Neighbors, and Nighttime Oddities
Join Dave and Andi as they recount a chilling yet hilarious house-buying story, complete with an anonymous tipster, power-posing neighbors, and an unexpected call. Plus, dive into the quirky details of their sleep habits and tips for navigating awkward conversations.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Sphere, Stiffler’s Mom, and Spontaneous Butt Stuff
In Episode 22, Dave and Andi recount their Vegas escapades, including a breathtaking Sphere concert, unforgettable people-watching (hello, Stiffler’s Mom!), and a tourist-trap Eiffel Tower adventure. They also explore their weird obsessions, like Dave’s popcorn addiction and Andi’s graveyard conspiracy theories, while teasing future stories from their upcoming trips. Don’t miss this fun and slightly unhinged conversation!
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/Tale...
Weird Is the New Normal: Tales of the Lastborns Edition
Why do elevators feel like battle zones for introverts? What’s the deal with people who don’t use turn signals? And why does peeling a TJ Maxx sticker feel like winning the lottery? Find out in this hilariously weird episode!
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Massage Mishaps and the Mystery of Amber
It’s episode 20, and we’re bringing the chaos! From Andi’s hilariously awkward massage story to Dave’s recount of Amber’s return, this episode is packed with laughs, claps (literally), and the nuances of life’s unwritten rules. Plus, a heartfelt (and slightly chaotic) welcome to 2025!
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x...
Not Like You: Embracing Our Inner Misfits
New year, new us? Not exactly. We’re talking fitness struggles, neighborhood awkwardness, and the ever-elusive quest to drink enough water. Spoiler alert: We’re still weird, and we’re not changing anytime soon.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Attraction 101: Laughs, Looks, and Pheromones
Attraction and antics collide in this holiday episode as we talk stinky head smells, the cutthroat Santa car game, and the infamous Cybertruck drama that had everyone unfollowing us.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MrsAndi
Fountain of Shrooms: https://fountainofshrooms.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/TalesOfTheLastborns
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talesofthelastborns
X: https://x.com/thelastbornspod
Dirty Talk Debacles and the Mystery of the Picnic Ham
In this episode of Tales of the Last Borns, Dave and Andi recount their hilariously awkward Aldi trip involving "picnic hams," cart chaos, and the frigid Aisle of Shame. Things heat up as they discuss Dave's bizarre "horny sneezes," Andi's sultry alter-ego, and the art of dirty talk. The couple also teases their upcoming visit to Houston’s Colette club and revisit the zombie apocalypse discussion with an unexpected twist (hint: Andi's "poisonous" assets). A mix of humor, honesty, and kink, this episode promises laughs, relatable quirks, and spicy insights.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com...
The Fan Page Hustle: How We Found Freedom in the Unconventional
In this episode of Tales of the Last Borns, Dave and Andi share their journey into the world of adult content creation. From an unlikely ASMR studio encounter to an eye-opening OnlyFans idea born poolside in Mexico, this episode covers the twists, turns, and laughs that shaped their current career. Discover how they turned a passion for creating content into a full-time lifestyle, the challenges of building a fan page empire, and the unexpected lessons learned along the way. Whether you're curious about their process, need a little inspiration, or just love a good origin story, this episode has...
Friendsgiving, Faux Orgies, and the Swinger Myth
In Episode 15 of Tales of the Last Borns, Dave and Andi dive headfirst into the fascinating and misunderstood world of swinging. With humor, honesty, and just the right amount of awkwardness, they share a wild story about a cabin getaway gone wrong (hello, boundary violations!) and explore the nuances of the "Swinger Spectrum." From flirty butterflies to fluid fusionists, they unpack the diverse experiences within the open-minded lifestyle. Plus, a peek into their drama-free Friendsgiving and why assumptions about the lifestyle don’t always match reality. Whether you're curious, skeptical, or just here for the chaos, this episode is a...
Zombie Apocalypse Survival vs. Drinking the Kool-Aid: Our Debate
In this episode of Tales of the Last Borns, Dave and Andi dive headfirst into the complex world of plastic surgery—its rise in popularity, the societal pressures driving it, and Andi’s firsthand experiences in the field. The conversation takes a sharp turn into the hypothetical with a debate on surviving the zombie apocalypse (Dave’s ready; Andi’s out). The duo reminisces about childhood near-misses and irrational fears, from trampoline injuries to creepy animatronics at Showbiz Pizza. Finally, they weigh in on cultural phenomena like pumpkin spice lattes and superhero movies, all with their trademark mix of humor, h...
First Encounters
In this episode, Dave and Andi recount their unforgettable first experience diving into open-minded exploration with another couple. From navigating pre-encounter nerves to handling unexpected moments that defied their “safe rules,” they share the hilariously awkward, yet ultimately bond-strengthening journey that shaped their relationship’s trajectory. This candid story digs deep into everything from setting boundaries (and breaking them) to confronting insecurities, and even the shockingly tender aftermath that brought them closer than ever. Tune in to hear how their “rule-breaking” encounter taught them about trust, vulnerability, and redefining intimacy in unexpected ways. This is one story you won’t want to mi...
Going All In: Why Exploring Together Strengthened Our Bond
In Episode 12 of Tales of the Last Borns, Dave and Andi dive into the world of open relationships, debunking myths and sharing how their journey into open-minded exploration has only strengthened their bond. Sparked by a comment predicting their “impending divorce” for visiting a lifestyle resort, they open up about their path from jealousy and insecurities to trust, respect, and freedom in their marriage. They explore the dynamics of establishing boundaries, the importance of communication, and the surprising growth that came from sharing unconventional experiences. With humor, honesty, and relatable stories, this episode sheds light on why breaking social norm...
Impostor Syndrome: Faking It ‘Til You Break It
In this episode of Tales of the Last Borns, Dave and Andy dive into the complex world of impostor syndrome. From humorous reflections on self-doubt to personal stories of overcoming feelings of fraudulence, they explore how this mindset affects everything from work achievements to daily interactions. The duo keeps it light by tackling modern-day issues like group text etiquette and the surprising perils of emojis gone wrong. Tune in for a mix of relatable struggles, genuine introspection, and the trademark dark humor you’ve come to love.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
...
Surviving the Small Stuff: Hair, Carts, and Existential Crises
In Episode 10, Dave and Andi take a breather from the heavier stories to dive into everyday rants and quirks. From hairy bathroom woes and grocery cart grudges to the absurdity of four-way stops and clean vs. dirty pen boxes, they explore the small annoyances that turn into big pet peeves. With tangents on failed bank teller stories, sticky Airbnb situations, and existential street crises, it’s a chaotic, relatable dive into life’s funniest irritations. Perfect for a laugh and a good dose of “I feel that!”
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
Patreo...
From Darkness to Redemption: Dave’s Untold Story - Part 2
In this intense continuation of our bonus series, Dave opens up about the life-altering aftermath of the shooting, recounting the moments right after the homeowner's brave actions. He shares the chaos, the struggle to survive, and the unexpected moments of clarity that followed. With deep introspection, we explore the impact of trauma, the path to redemption, and the importance of telling these stories for those who need to hear them. Listen in as we take a raw, unfiltered look at what happens when life takes a drastic turn.
Website: https://talesofthelastborns.com
<...Reframe the Shame: Dave's Untold Story - Part 1
In Episode 8 of Tales of the Lastborns, Dave takes us on a raw and unfiltered journey back to one of the darkest moments of his life. He opens up about a chaotic night that led to a fateful encounter, sharing the story of a burglary that ended with him being shot. It’s a story about the consequences of addiction, reckless decisions, and the heavy weight of untold trauma. Join Dave and Andi as they navigate this powerful and deeply personal recount, revealing how far they’ve come since that life-altering event.
Website: https://tale...
