Love Factually

How do people manage their belief that the world is just? Is true love effortless? Are we sometimes willing to make a sacrifice for our partner even if it pushes them away? Inspired by Tom Hooper's (2012) melodramatic interpretation of the Les Misérables stage musical, Paul, Eli, and Dr. Vanessa Bohns sing, cry, and fight for the revolution.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

What's the best way to navigate the friendzone? Why do people gossip? What kind of love is this anyway? Paul and Eli take a terrifying journey through love's disturbing recesses via Obsession (2026), this year's supernatural horror sensation from Curry Barker.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Does infatuation bring out the attachment anxiety in all of us? Will marrying a man of ill-repute will make you miserable? How did Jane Austen so spectacularly capture her cultural moment? In anticipation of the new remake, Paul and Eli savor the much-lauded 1995 adaptation of "Sense and Sensibility" from Emma Thompson and Ang Lee.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Paul and Eli host a party for the second anniversary of Love Factually. Seven friends of the podcast hop on to chat with us about movies we missed and takes we fumbled from the past year. Then, Paul and Eli count down their top five movies of Year 2—the movies that best aligned with the scientific evidence base.

PART 1: THE CONVERSATIONS (03:55)

Do women want intimacy more than men? How does commitment inspire sacrifice? Does this movie offer good advice for losing a guy in 10 days? Paul and Eli don their Knicks jerseys and descend into the madness that is "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," featuring the legendary trio Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey, and their dog, Krull.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

When is it especially hard to get over an affair? It is unusual for a gay woman to be attracted to a man? How do role arrangements differ between straight and gay couples? Lisa Diamond joins Paul and Eli to ponder the value of extremely dated pornography by revisiting "The Kids Are All Right," Lisa Cholodenko's influential lesbian love story.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Is it wise to turn to pickup-artistry after a breakup? How can people fall in love in one night? When do people leave a relationship instead of fighting for it? Paul and Eli elevate their wardrobes and learn to pronounce Lindhagen while revisiting Crazy Stupid Love, the glossy 2011 rom-com that boasts an all-star cast and an unhinged "C Plot."

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Does being ostracized make people aggressive? How does distrust warp perception and memory? What are the risks of seeking other people's validation for your relationship? Paul and Eli rehearse dance moves and draft wedding toasts for Kristoffer Borgli's The Drama, the twisted 2026 rom-com starring Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Why does the perfect guy sometimes lose his luster? Do we copy other people's opinions about who's hot? How can women manage the double-bind in masculine settings? Dr. Katy Milkman teams up with Paul and Eli to soak up the wisdom and legal jargon of Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, the 2001 megahit.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Are some relationships beyond repair? What makes a couple miserable? Can the right sex party can heal your marriage? Paul and Eli pop some bubbly and sample the charcuterie in Olivia Wilde's The Invite, her 2026 masterpiece starring Seth Rogan, Penélope Cruz, Edward Norton, and Wilde herself.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Is romance seasonal? What does romantic competition look like? How does thinking too much undermine performance? Paul, Eli, and special guest Dan Pink revisit their Gen-X youth with a rewatch of Bull Durham (1988), the minor league baseball classic starring Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, and Tim Robbins.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Why do people choose to "date" AI chatbots? Will chatbots undermine or enhance the social skills required for connecting with other humans? How do the underlying corporate interests influence the likelihood that they will help or harm us? Seeking insights, Paul and Eli invite two experts at the human/AI interface—Paul Bloom and Benjamin Karney—for a wide-ranging, fast-paced, and enlightening discussion.

Hosted and produced by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel

Edited by Stefan Louw

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

How does singlehood differ for men and women? When are romantic beliefs healthy rather than unhealthy? Is it typical for young children to play matchmaker for their parents? Paul, Eli, and special guest Dr. Yuthika Girme are in on the joke that is Sleepless in Seattle, the film that—for better or worse—has become Nora Ephron's enduring meta-statement on romantic movies.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Why do our first sexual experiences tend to be complicated? When is relationship initiation a slow and careful process? Do love and desire change as we age? Paul and Eli herald the arrival of summer with Luca Guadagnino's Call Me By Your Name, one of the most powerful coming-of-age films of the twenty-first century.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

When are people inspired to make life-altering sacrifices? How can romantic partners bring out the best in each other? Why is choosing between two partners overwhelming? To answer these questions, Paul and Eli invite Happiness Lab host Dr. Laurie Santos with them to visit Casablanca, the 1942 classic honored by the American Film Institute as the single greatest love story in American cinema.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

How do fights get out of hand? What does intractable conflict look like? Why are truth and harmony sometimes at odds? Alarmed and distressed, Paul and Eli spend one last day with Jesse and Céline in Before Midnight, the third and final installment of Richard Linklater's unflinching and unparalleled "Before Trilogy."

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Paul and Eli dip into the mailbag once more to answer your questions! Is it possible to build an effective matchmaking algorithm? Why might 12th grade girls have soured on marriage since the 90s? Did Richard Reeves channel Paul correctly on Modern Wisdom, or not? 

How do relationships adapt when one partner changes? Are women penalized for being demanding leaders? When are we at risk for losing our moral compass? Paige Harden joins Paul and Eli as they upgrade their wardrobes in honor of The Devil Wears Prada, the 2006 showcase for a magnificently icy Meryl Streep.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

What is the most common type of nonmonogamous relationship? Do women face a choice between passionate men and dull men? Does "The Coolidge Effect" apply to humans? In this special crossover episode of the Multiamory podcast, Paul and Eli team up with Emily Matlack, Dedeker Winston, and Jase Lindgren to chat about Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the 2008 polyamory-adjacent (?) film starring the Oscar-winning Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson, and the mighty oak himself, Javier Bardem. 

What do people do when they get cold feet? How do people handle the emotional carnage of breakup? Who's more eager to get married: men or women? Paul and Eli invite social psychologist Vanessa Bohns to bask in the 1985 aesthetic of The Wedding Singer and achieve new insights into the psychology of breaking off a wedding.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Is trusting others dangerous? How do we decide who warrants our moral concern? When do we feel drawn to others who need our help? Paul and Eli sign nondisclosure agreements before immersing themselves in Ex Machina, Alex Garland's cerebral and electrifying AI dystopia from 2015.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Why do people with opposite personalities often get along? How do vacations affect us? Is it problematic to sacrifice for our partner? Paul and Eli debate the ethics of road-trip burritos and fictitious honeymoons while reviewing People We Meet on Vacation, the Netflix adaptation of Emily Henry's bestselling novel.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

When do we want to see people punished? How do people feel about their own wrongdoing? What does stalking actually look like? In pursuit of answers, Paul and Eli invite clinical psychologist and behavioral geneticist Paige Harden to revisit Fatal Attraction with them, garnering disturbing insights at the intersection of love and violence.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Should we wear rose-colored glasses? What happens when we feel like we're being pressured to marry someone? Why are words sometimes not enough? Paul and Eli—joined by Shakespearian scholar Donovan Sherman—take a psychedelic and operatic mystery tour through Romeo + Juliet, Baz Luhrmann's utterly gonzo adaptation of the timeless classic.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Why is it important to understand a loved-one's identity? Which sorts of people are likely to hold grudges? Is having a "jacked-up" attitude worse if you're a woman? Paul and Eli contemplate Love & Basketball, Gina Prince-Bythewood's exploration of ambition, attachment, and gender at a time when the world sadly lacked the WNBA.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Eli and Paul dial up the controversy as they discuss Paul's upcoming book, Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection.  They pick apart two central concepts in evolutionary psychology: gender differences and mate value. Paul and Eli discuss how men and women don't actually differ in what they want in a partner, where gender differences in the sex drive appear larger vs. smaller, and why mate value matters a lot less than you think. Plus: Can evolutionary psychologists - and their critics - find better ways of talking the practical implications of a biological discovery?

Why is it so important to feel needed? Do men struggle when their partner outshines them? How can personal growth destabilize a relationship? Paul and Eli dive off the deep end into the rich and melodramatic spectacle of the 2018 iteration of "A Star Is Born," featuring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

What happens when a narcissist decides she wants something? Why is it complicated when your best friend is also your ex? Why is it so important to keep alternatives at bay? Paul and Eli revisit Julia Roberts' unforgettable and unrivaled transformation into rom-com anti-hero in "My Best Friend's Wedding."

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Can a change of scenery help people find a partner? What is the nature of unrequited love? How do people react to sexual overtures from strangers? Paul and Eli savor impeccable kitchens and exquisite real estate in The Holiday, Nancy Meyers's 2006 starring vehicle for Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, and Jack Black.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

In this special episode, Eli interviews Paul about his upcoming book, Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection. Part 1 of this series is devoted to complexities of romantic compatibility. They discuss how they began studying attraction in the first place, why online dating failed to live up to its potential, and why a relationship is what you make it. Plus: Why is it wise to have a few intimacy-inspiring questions in your back pocket?

Pre-order your copy today, submit your receipt here, and receive a "book plate" that turns your book into a signed...

Does giving to others makes us happy? Why is expressing vulnerability so powerful? How can we feel grateful for what we already have? In collaboration with the Pods Fight Poverty campaign, Paul and Eli fire up Frank Capra's immortal and inspiring It's a Wonderful Life (1946), the generosity-filled holiday classic.

With Giving Tuesday right around the corner, we hope you'll consider donating to #PodsFightPoverty, in which your favorite social science podcasts ("The Happiness Lab," "You Are Not So Smart," "Hidden Brain," and many others) join forces to lift three entire villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. Most...

How do friend networks facilitate relationship formation? What happens to those networks when people fall in love? Are wedding guests just looking to hook up? Paul and Eli find answers lurking at both wedding altar and graveyard in the very British rom-com, Four Weddings and Funeral.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Do opposites attract? When is intimacy scary? Can offering forgiveness inadvertently escalate conflict? In this special crossover episode of the Dear Nina: Conversations about Friends podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Nina Badzin and Rebekah Jacobs about Beaches, the Bette Midler musical showcase about lifelong friendships. 

What happens when our self-esteem is tied to our looks? How can significant others make us feel confident? What is the nature of found families? Paul and Eli travel to the gorgeously trippy world of Howl's Moving Castle (2004), Hayao Miyazaki's anti-war fable about the power of love and hair dye.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Are some people just late bloomers? Is asking questions a good dating strategy? What does it mean to be a good lover, anyway? Paul and Eli unpack The 40 Year-Old Virgin—the 2005 transgressive comedy from Judd Apatow—and reflect on how times (and they themselves) have changed in the intervening 20 years.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

In this special crossover episode of the APA Speaking of Psychology podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Kim Mills about the helpful and harmful lessons we absorb from romantic films.

How does it feel to lose a loved-one? Do we benefit from having a partner who speaks our love language? What's so sexy about creativity? Paul and Eli take a nostalgia trip back to Ghost (1990), the romance/murder mystery/revenge epic/moral fable/all-around sensation starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

How is romantic attachment similar to parent-child attachment? Can the fear of intimacy make someone controlling? What's the connection between relationships and food? Paul and Eli revisit Paul Thomas Anderson's majestic Phantom Thread (2017), the Best Picture nominee that served up one of cinema's most deliciously warped loved stories.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil

Year one of Love Factually is in the books! Paul and Eli first review their favorite moments from the first year of the show, and then (at 42:20) they count down the Top Five most accurate movies they've covered to date.

What assumptions lurk behind the man-approaches-woman default? Why is double-dating a good idea? Does the military take grief seriously? Paul and Eli invite the former naval aviator Matt Rhodes to discuss Top Gun, the 1986 blockbuster featuring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, and a sex scene unlike anything you've ever witnessed in a PG movie.

For show notes, click here.

Hosted, produced, and edited by Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel.

Music by Andrew Fraker and Sons

Artwork by Katie Keil