MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel

If you have ADHD or autism, research shows you’re at a much higher risk for developing chronic pain — a connection many doctors and patients still don’t know about. In this episode of Hyperfocus, we talk with a doctor who’s trying to change that.

Dr. Michael Lenz, a Wisconsin-based pain specialist, explains what the medical community is discovering about the connection between ADHD, autism, and chronic pain, including conditions like fibromyalgia and migraines. He also shares stories from his practice, including times when treating a patient’s ADHD unexpectedly improved their chronic pain symptoms.

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In this listener Q&A, Cate tackles two wildly relatable ADHD questions: sudden sensory discomfort during intimacy, and the maddening cycle of not being able to start a task… then not being able to stop. 

From sensory overload and burnout to hyperfocus, momentum anxiety, and emotional regulation, Cate breaks down what’s going on and how to navigate it without losing it. 

Thanks to our listeners for these deeply ADHD-coded questions! Keep ’em coming.

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For a t...

In this final episode of Climbing the Walls, Danielle explores the frustration women with ADHD feel toward a medical community that can’t answer their questions about how hormones impact ADHD. Searching for answers, they turn to online communities for information and support.

Danielle talks to experts about the latest research on ADHD in women and what the future of treatment could look like.

More on this story:

A guide to hormones and ADHD

For a transcript and more resources, visit Climbing the Walls on Understood.or...

On episode 5 of Climbing the Walls, Danielle attends an ADHD camp in Michigan and hears stories from several women about being diagnosed with ADHD later in life. 

Many of them have one thing in common.

More on this story: 

For a transcript and more resources, visit Climbing the Walls on Understood.org. You can also email us at podcast@understood.org.

Understood...

On this episode of Climbing the Walls, ADHD finds itself at the center of mental health discourse — and some see it not as a disorder but as a strength. 

Danielle investigates the origins of this theory and questions who benefits from the rebranding of ADHD.

More on this story: 

For a transcript and more resources, visit Climbing the Walls on Understood.org. You can also email us at podcast@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization...

On episode 3 of Climbing the Walls, we see that as ADHD content explodes during the pandemic, many people seek care for the first time. That includes many Black women. 

But new telehealth rules also open the door for potential misdiagnosis. 

More on this story:

For a transcript and more resources, visit Climbing the Walls on Understood.org. You can also email us at podcast@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with lear...

In the next episode of Climbing the Walls, we meet Sari Solden — who was looking for answers. Why was she having memory issues? Why couldn’t she get her life organized? Where did this feeling of deep shame come from?

Sari’s books have changed the lives of generations of women with ADHD. Her early research uncovered the truth that the disorder looks different in women.

More on this story:

For a...

We’re back with another spicy Reddit Reactions episode!

This week, we dive into two wildly relatable ADHD relationship posts: one about a partner claiming “you lost your sparkle” (eye roll), and another spiraling over chores, shame, and new-job burnout. We unpack toxic dynamics, people-pleasing, clutter blindness, and why you’re not weaponizing incompetence. 

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Timestamps:

(01:00) A sparkle-stealing husband

(04:10) Is it ADHD… or a toxic partner?

(08:20) ADHD shame spiral: “I can’t do anyth...

This month, we’re featuring our limited series Climbing the Walls. Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she explores the surge in ADHD diagnoses among women. She shares her own story and speaks with experts and women across the country to uncover why it’s happening — and why now.

In this first episode, when Danielle finds herself among the many women diagnosed with ADHD during the pandemic, she gets curious. Why women? Why now? This question takes her to northern Michigan, to meet a friend’s mom.

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One of the most urgent ADHD research gaps has to do with ADHD and trans people. We know there are lots of trans folks with ADHD. But when it comes to understanding how best to treat them, it’s a whole different story. 

That’s why we wanted to talk to someone who knows this experience well. Ivan Hsiao is the founder of Trans Health HQ. He joined this week’s Hyperfocus to share his own diagnosis story and to talk about what we do (and don’t) know about being trans with ADHD. 

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Ever said yes to sex a little too fast and regretted it later? Same. 

Today we’re joined by psychologist and Understood Expert Dr. Ari Tuckman for a candid talk about impulsivity, ADHD, and intimacy. We’ll dig into the messy mix of consent, shame, and emotional regulation. And we’ll talk about how to slow down, stay curious, and find self-compassion after a spicy decision. 

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Timestamps:

02:15 How ADHD-related impulsivity c...

Breakups are hard for everyone. But for women with ADHD, they can feel all-consuming. Dr. J unpacks why heartbreak hits harder when you have ADHD — and how your brain’s reward system, emotional regulation, and executive functions all get thrown off balance. 

You’ll learn science-backed strategies to stop the mental replay loop, manage impulsivity, and start healing with compassion. If you’ve ever felt “too much” after a breakup, this episode is for you.

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Last month, the Trump administration laid off over 460 people in the U.S. Department of Education. It included nearly everyone in the Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP), which enforces federal special education laws. 

A federal judge has temporarily halted the layoffs, but it’s unclear what will happen next. For people who work in or rely on special education services — including 7.5 million kids — the chaos and worry have already begun.

So on this week’s Hyperfocus, we wanted to talk to smart people who could give us some perspective on what’s happening. What could it mean...

The holidays are here — and so is all the food, family, and sensory overload that can come with them. Host Cate Osborn sits down with Aleta Storch, dietitian, nutritionist, ADHD expert, and founder of Wise Heart Nutrition, to talk about food and ADHD. They cover what disordered eating looks like (and how it’s different from a diagnosed eating disorder), why sensory sensitivities can make meals stressful, and what it’s like not to be believed when you say you don’t want to eat something. Plus, the dopamine rush of holiday treats — and how to navigate it all with more c...

For many women with ADHD, the spark of a new relationship feels like magic. But what happens when commitment feels like too much to manage?

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson explains the ADHD brain during the early stages of a new relationship. Learn how ADHD impacts attachment and commitment for some women. Get tips for how to manage coming down from the emotional high when the initial spark fades.

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In the final episode of our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” three-part series, host Cate Osborn and Dr. Shauna Pollard explore what comes after burnout. They discuss how burnout can affect your relationships, the importance of communicating your needs clearly, and how to reflect on past experiences to avoid repeating patterns. 

Cate and Dr. Shauna also shares practical tips for tuning in to yourself, setting boundaries, and creating a plan for moving forward with greater awareness, balance, and resilience.

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Why do some women with ADHD rush through the courting stage? Dr. Monica Johnson explains what happens in the ADHD brain during courting.

From intense texting to early intimacy, the courting stage can look very different for women with ADHD. In this episode, find out what happens in the ADHD brain during courting. Learn how to recognize the difference between real chemistry and manipulation. And get tips on how to manage. 

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Inattentive ADHD often goes unnoticed. It’s an easier type of ADHD to miss because it’s more internal and less outwardly visible than its hyperactive, impulsive counterpart. But left unaddressed, inattentive ADHD can be just as disruptive.

Boys with the inattentive type are especially overlooked — they don’t match the stereotype of what an “ADHD boy” is supposed to look like.

So when Brandon Saiz wrote to us about his experience getting diagnosed with ADHD later in life, we knew we had to talk to him. After meeting with Brandon, it was clear his story needed...

Burnout isn’t a weakness. It’s a signal that your body needs real rest. 

Dr. Shauna Pollard is back for the second episode in our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” series to answer the question: What is rest?  

Cate and Dr. Pollard talk about what true, restorative rest looks like (hint: it’s not just zoning out on your phone), and how to start taking small, doable steps toward rest when you’re already deep in burnout.

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Have you ever met someone and suddenly you’re imagining your wedding playlist — all before the first date? Dr. Monica Johnson weighs in on the science behind crushes and the ADHD brain.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

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Timestamps:

(00:0...

Artificial intelligence has cemented itself as the latest world-altering technology. It follows the same lineage as electricity, the television, the internet — the list goes on. 

Depending on who you talk to, AI is the greatest thing ever or the thing that will destroy the world, with lots of room in the middle for discussion and experimentation. 

But within the bigger AI fascination, there’s a smaller yet critical conversation about how this technology might help or harm people who learn and think differently. That’s why we brought in Dr. Amy Gaeta for this week’s “Hyperfocu...

Feeling drained, unmotivated, or stuck in survival mode? In part one of our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” series, host Cate Osborn and psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard unpack the question: What is burnout? They explore the signs to watch for, how to recognize when you’re in it, and how it’s different from depression.

If you’ve been wondering whether what you’re experiencing is burnout, this episode is a good place to start.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:00) A word from Cate on burnout

Itchy tags, tight clothes, and scratchy fabrics can trigger real ADHD sensory overwhelm. Dr. Monica Johnson explains why it happens and what can help.

For many women with ADHD, some clothing isn’t just uncomfortable — it can feel unbearable. This sensory overload can make even getting dressed a challenge. On this episode, you’ll learn:

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Craig Thomas is best known for his work on TV. He co-created the sitcom “How I Met Your Mother” and has written for “American Dad” and more. He’s penned songs for “Sesame Street” and essays for “The New Yorker.” 

He’s less known for being a dad. For now, at least. He has a daughter, Celia, and a son, Elliot, who was born with Jacobsen syndrome, a genetic condition causing physical and developmental disabilities. 

When Elliot was born, Craig’s career was taking off with “How I Met Your Mother.” “I was living an hour drama show at home and th...

It’s a solo mailbag episode! Host Cate Osborn grabs her trusty D20 to let fate decide which listener emails to answer. 

Cate answers some common ADHD questions from navigating ADHD as a woman, to what it means to have a diagnosis, to how symptoms can shift as we age.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro
(00:27) The rules
(01:14) Why do previously stimulating activities become routine?
(02:48) What does an ADHD diagnosis provide?
(05:30) Wha...

For some women with ADHD, people-pleasing is more than just being nice. It’s a way to cope with feeling overwhelmed or misunderstood.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson breaks down what people-pleasing looks like in women with ADHD. Find out how this coping mechanism can impact your life. And learn helpful strategies to stop people-pleasing and live a healthier life.

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Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:39) What does people-pleasing look like in AD...

What if your money problems weren’t just about willpower, but about who you are?

In this episode of Sorry, I Missed This, Cate chats with Ellyce Fulmore, financial educator and author of Keeping Finance Personal, about how who you are affects how you deal with money. We cover how things like ADHD, race, gender, and queerness all shape your money habits. Ellyce explains how to understand your own “money story” and why some advice doesn’t work for everyone. We also talk about what happens when someone with ADHD gets into a relationship and has to mix mone...

Many women with ADHD turn to shopping to cope with stress and anxiety. Buying things can feel good in the moment. But it often leads to regret, overspending, and money struggles.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson explains how too much shopping can become a form of self-sabotage for women with ADHD. She also shares simple tips to help take back control of spending and avoid money problems. 

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One of the most inevitable questions that comes with early adulthood is also one of the most fraught: “When are you having kids?” 

The question is loaded with assumptions and pressure. It also seems to ignore the fact that having kids is supposed to be a choice, not a requirement. 

For neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD, deciding whether to become a parent can be even more complex. 

On this episode of “Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson,” we talk with author and editorial director Jordan Davidson. She’s interviewed hundreds of people about their decision on w...

For some women with ADHD, talking about boundaries can feel hard or scary. It’s not just about knowing your limits, but how to say them so others clearly understand.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson explains why ADHD makes it hard for women to talk about boundaries. Find out how communication styles can help make setting limits easier.

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Timestamps: 

(00:56) Why communicating boundaries is hard
(05:55) How to make boundaries easier to set
(08:37) Tips...

We’re picking up where we left off last time on Hyperfocus for the conclusion of our two-part series on the R-word’s resurgence. 

Today, we meet a comedy writer who shares his personal evolution with the word and hear from a disability advocate. 

We’ll also learn more from our research correspondent, Dr. KJ Wynne, and have producer Cody Nelson back on to hear from host Rae Jacobson about what she’s learned. 

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We love hearing from our listeners! Emai...

Ever wondered if your therapist gets you, or if therapy is even working? You’re not alone. This week, Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer is back to unpack the complicated, sometimes confusing, always human relationship between therapist and client (especially when ADHD is in the mix).

Host Cate Osborn and Elizabeth dig into how different types of therapy work, how to tell if therapy is actually helping, and what kinds of conversations are and aren’t fair game in the therapy room. Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time or reevaluating a long-term fit, this conversation will help yo...

Many women with ADHD struggle to manage their emotions. Strong feelings like anger, sadness, and guilt tend to come on fast and feel hard to control. This can make everyday life feel confusing and overwhelming.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson explains how ADHD makes it harder to manage emotions. Find out why feelings like anger, sadness, and frustration can feel so strong for ADHD women to manage. And learn effective strategies to help you deal with these emotions.

Related resources

Last year, Rae and Cody at Team Hyperfocus noticed something unnerving: The R-word was coming back into public discourse. People, especially people in power, seemed to be using it more often, and more freely. 

We weren’t the only ones who’d spotted this upsetting trend. Researchers, disability advocates, and other journalists were also concerned. If this word, long considered a slur, was being used by some very powerful people, what did that mean for people with disabilities?

So we dove in, talking to researchers, members of the community, and even a famous comedy writer. (You’l...

Do you have a lot of clutter in your home? Does this clutter prevent you from doing other things, like finding the things you need, or inviting guests over? 

This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye discusses how it’s common for those of us with ADHD to have a lot of clutter in our home — clutter that we have a lot of emotional connection to, and also, a lot of frustration about.

This is also the last episode of Tips from an ADHD Coach. Find Jaye on her socials below!

Relate...

Forget what you’ve seen in movies: BDSM isn’t one-size-fits-all. As Dr. Leann Borneman explains, it’s more of an à la carte menu where consent, communication, and personal boundaries come first. You can take what works for you and leave the rest.

Host Cate Osborn talks with clinical sexologist Dr. Borneman about the intersection of BDSM, neurodivergence, and executive function. They explore how some people with ADHD use parts of BDSM, like structure, sensory input, and clearly defined roles. These can help support attention, reduce overwhelm, and build emotional regulation.

Listen as Cate and Leann cha...

Many women with ADHD often forget things, like where they left their keys or what they needed to buy at the store. This forgetfulness can make daily life feel frustrating and hard to handle.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson explains how ADHD can lead to forgetfulness. Find out how this ADHD symptom affects women in unique ways. And learn helpful strategies to better manage it.

Related resources

Timestamps

(03:08) Why ADHD forgetfulness sparks feelings of shame
(05:19) Effects of forgetfulness 

Have you been told you’re “too dramatic”? Have people responded to the way you’ve reacted to things with invalidating statements, like “it’s not that big of a deal,” “you’re overreacting,” or “you’re too sensitive”?

This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye talks about how ADHD can make it harder for us to manage our emotional responses and how this can create a snowball effect of negative emotions.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:45) Janice’s quote

(02:50) ADHD and emotio...

Grief can be overwhelming for anyone — but for people with ADHD, it can show up in surprising ways.

Therapist Rachel Hopkins joins host Cate Osborn to unpack the intersection of ADHD and grief. They discuss how time blindness, emotional intensity, and memory challenges can shape the grieving process — and how ADHDers might mourn in nonlinear, unconventional ways. Rachel also offers some insights for anyone struggling to grieve “the right way” while living with a neurodivergent brain.

Related resources

Many women often feel overwhelmed at work. But for those with ADHD, the stress can be even greater.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson takes a closer look at how ADHD manifests differently in women at work. Learn about common stressors women with ADHD face. And get strategies on how to better manage workplace stress and feel more in control.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:00) How ADHD impacts work performance

(00:00) Common workplace stressors