Healing Mothers' Club

In this deeply honest and powerful conversation, I sit down with Alyssa Hartley, a mother of two who shares her journey through substance use disorder, motherhood, and recovery. Alyssa opens up about her initiation to substance use at 11 years old, growing up in a Canadian military base where emotions were suppressed, and how her sensitivity and anxiety shaped led her to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism. She vulnerably shares what it looked like to parent while struggling, the turning point during her postpartum period, and the courageous steps she took toward recovery—including seeking medical su...

In this solo episode of The Healing Mothers Club, Danik Bernier explains what quality trauma therapy should look like for mothers who want to break the cycle of childhood trauma—or for anyone on a journey of self-mothering after emotional neglect. Using the metaphor of the nervous system as a house, Danik explores how early attachment experiences shape the foundation of emotional safety and why many healing approaches focus too much on strengthening the “house” (coping tools and regulation skills) without repairing the foundation underneath. She introduces the concept of self-mothering as a way to rebuild that foundation internally, helpin...

In this episode of The Healing Mothers’ Club, I’m joined by IFS therapist and Human Design strategist Caitlan Siegenthaler for a fascinating conversation at the intersection of trauma work, nervous system awareness, and Human Design.

Caitlan shares how Human Design entered her therapy practice and how it can function as a powerful tool for self-understanding—especially for mothers navigating burnout, guilt, and the pressure to constantly be “on.” Rather than treating Human Design as a rigid framework or parenting manual, Caitlan reframes it as a compassion manual: a way to understand your unique energy, decision-making style, and nervou...

If you identify as an adult daughter of Emotionally Immature Parents or Narcissistic Parents, you know deep in your bones how it feels to be an inconvenience and to be chosen dead last (or completely ignored). And if you've entered motherhood or have considered becoming a mom, you probably heard the mainstream self-care messaging for moms: take care of yourself, choose yourself first. On one hand, you want to break the cycle of trauma, and on the other hand, you know just because you become a mom doesn't mean you suddenly stop having to meet your own needs. So...

In this episode, Danik shares the full story of her great-grandmother Simone, who was institutionalized in the early 1950s in rural French Ontario, and explores how intergenerational trauma can live on in our bodies decades later. Through archival medical records, family history, and lived experience as a mother, Danik weaves together epigenetics, patriarchy, psychiatric violence, and motherhood—revealing how trauma, abandonment wounds, and survival patterns are passed down, and how awareness can become the beginning of healing.

In this episode, we explore:

In this episode of The Healing Mothers’ Club, Danik is joined by bilingual educator and child development consultant Natasha Demers to explore how a child’s environment directly impacts behavior, regulation, and family stress—especially after the holidays. Together, they unpack how toy overload, clutter, and overstimulation can lead to dysregulation, and how intentional, values-based home setups can support calmer play, independence, and nervous system safety for both kids and parents.

In this episode, we discuss:

Breaking generational cycles not only for ourselves, but for our whole family❤️‍🩹

Welcome back to the Healing Mothers' Club! Today is a guest episode with Radha Dalal, M.A., and soon-to-be LMFT! We talk about:

Connect with Radha:

Connect with Danik:

Today on the Healing Mothers' Club, we get real about what it takes to actually create and uphold boundaries with your children's toxic grandparents. If your children's grandparents fall somewhere on the emotional immaturity spectrum, chances are they have displayed toxic behaviours -- and the holidays can be the perfect storm for unhinged emotionally immature behaviour.

Most blogs and Instagram reels will suggest you clearly communicate your boundary. But unfortunately, when dealing with emotionally immature people, we just can't expect our demand for respect will be met.

In this episode, we cover :

Welcome back to the Healing Mothers Club! Have you ever wondered why popular parenting hacks don't work for your child who presents with signs of Autism? This episode is for you. Dr. Carolyn Solo, PhD, LCSW joins the club and shares:

In this solo episode of The Healing Mothers’ Club, Danik continues the conversation from the previous episode about why time-outs are not trauma-informed — and dives deeper into what it truly means to self-regulate as a mom with trauma. She explains how to build a baseline of inner safety so that you can stay regulated when your kids have big emotions or unwanted behaviours. You’ll learn why most popular parenting hacks don’t work for moms with trauma, what nervous system regulation actually looks like, and why timing is everything when it comes to feeling safe enough to co-regulate with your c...

Welcome to the first episode of the first official season of the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, fellow healing mom of 2, Certified EMDR therapist, EMDR consultant-in-training, and parenting coach for moms with childhood trauma wanting to break the cycle. Today, we kick off the new season by answering one of the most frequently unanswered questions on the most popular parenting accounts on Instagram: if I can’t give my kid a time-out, what should I do with them when they were intentionally "bad" ?

I break this down with as much nuance as possib...

Updates, announcements, and trauma-informed parenting coaching offered worldwide!

Schedule your free, no obligation virtual consultation to plan your parenting + nervous system strategy 1:1 with Danik to see if coaching is right for you. Click here to schedule.

✨We'll meet for Season 1 on November 3rd

🇫🇷 Francophones and French-speakers: The podcast Mères Conscientes will drop soon. More details to come 👀

Thank you for being here❤️

What if your mom rage isn’t just about being overstimulated or burned out — but about old trauma being reactivated? In this episode, Danik Bernier, trauma therapist and fellow mom, reframes mom rage through the lens of the nervous system and childhood emotional neglect. She shares her personal story and how EMDR therapy helped her break free from survival patterns passed down through generations.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

· Why mainstream narratives about mom rage miss the deeper trauma connection

· How dissociation and “fight mode” show up during rage episodes

· The role of p...

DISCLAIMER: The stories shared in this episode are the guest's personal experiences. The views expressed belong to the guest and don’t necessarily reflect those of the host. This episode is not a psychotherapy session and the host has no affiliation to the guest. This episode does not replace psychotherapy or medical advice; it is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only.

✨WELCOME to another guest episode on the Healing Mothers' Club! Today's guest is Stephanie St-Jean, a survivor, advocate, mom of 2, author and podcast host. Together, we discuss:

In this episode of The Healing Mothers’ Club, we continue our mini-series on the impacts of narcissistic abuse on motherhood. If you grew up with narcissistic parents, you know how hard it can be to break the cycle while raising your own children. Today, I’m sharing the key elements of healing that help you move from parenting out of survival mode to parenting with presence, safety, and authenticity.

·       Why self-regulation is essential when your child’s big emotions trigger your own survival responses

·       The practice of “Emotional Safety Hygiene” and how it strengthens your nervous system

·     ...

Welcome back to the Healing Mothers’ Club! As part of the mini-series on the effects of narcissistic abuse on motherhood, Danik is joined by Mel Guttman, a licensed IFS therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse and family estrangement.

In today’s episode, we cover:

If your child’s tantrums trigger a deep sense of overwhelm, fear, or even rage, this episode is for you. As a mom with a history of emotional neglect or narcissistic abuse, you may be parenting from survival mode without even realizing it. In this episode, I explore how unresolved childhood trauma shows up in motherhood and why your nervous system responds to your child’s big emotions as if they’re a threat. Understanding these trauma patterns is the first step in breaking the cycle.

In this episode, I talk about:

Welcome back to another episode of the Healing Mothers’ Club! In today's episode, we kick off a special mini series where we deep dive into what it's like to do motherhood as a narcissistic abuse survivor.

As always this episode is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not meant to replace a mental health assessment or psychotherapy provided by a licensed health professional.

Key Points Discussed:

In this episode of The Healing Mothers' Club, Danik Bernier delves into how moms can best prepare for the (unfortunately inevitable) generalized sense of overstimulation that happens when kids go back to school. She gives you tips and tricks on how you can navigate this tough situation so you feel like your family isn't the odd one out and you have a better idea about what needs to be prioritized. Because attunement to our kids' needs is something that we can build.

Connect with Danik! :

·      Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAI...

In this episode of The Healing Mothers' Club, Danik Bernier preps us to manage the overstimulation our kids come back from school with. It's almost that time of year where they come back home and it looks like yelling, trash everywhere, and probably you in the bathroom crying trying to manage our overwhelm. Danik encourages us to focus on co-regulation right away. When our kids get home, instead of demands and asking them questions, we want to be ahead of the game (even if they seem calm). They need time to acclimate to their new rhythm of school, as...

In this episode of The Healing Mothers' Club, Danik Bernier delves into how moms who experienced emotional neglect in childhood can still become attuned and responsive to their children's needs. She explores the reasons behind the challenges these moms face and offers practical tips for developing emotional attunement. Through self-awareness and emotional literacy, Danik provides a compassionate roadmap for mothers to nurture their children with empathy and love, despite their past experiences. Tune in for insights and strategies to help you connect more deeply with your child and yourself.

Resources:

1.    Self-Regulation for Moms masterclass

2...

Welcome back to another episode of the Healing Mothers’ Club! In today's episode, we explore the often overwhelming experience of summer, especially for those without the support of an extended family. Danik shares insights on dealing with the feelings of isolation and deception that many moms face when summer doesn't meet their idealized expectations. From managing overstimulation and anxiety to finding peace in small moments, this episode provides validation and practical advice for healing moms navigating the summer months.

Key Points Discussed:

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today I’m addressing a topic that's been highly requested by listeners and Instagram followers: experiencing anger as a mom with childhood trauma.

Listen as I explain why anger is a taboo subject, why moms who are childhood trauma survivors might have a really hard time expressing healthy anger, and what to do about it.

If you've enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world to me if you could give it 5 stars and leave a review!

Welcome to The Healing Mothers’ Club! I'm Danik Bernier, mom of two, trauma therapist certified in EMDR, and parenting coach for childhood trauma survivors. In this episode, we explore the transformative power of self-regulation through the story of Beatrice, a fictional mom who mirrors the real struggles and victories of many of my clients. Learn how Beatrice moved from feelings of inadequacy and chaos to a more regulated, connected, and peaceful parenting approach. This episode is part of our 7-day mini-series leading up to the Self-Regulation for Moms Masterclass. Enroll now—doors close July 8th at midnight! The link to r...

Welcome back to the Healing Mothers' Club. Today we are sharing a very emotional episode, where Danik reads a letter to her past self, as the young mom of a 2 year old in the depths of nervous system dysregulation.

The Self-Regulation for Moms masterclass closes on Monday, July 8th at 12:00 AM. Don't miss your chance to take the first step towards trauma-informed parenting!

Connect with Danik:

Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER

This podcast is not meant to replace psychotherapy from a licensed mental health professional, does not give medical advice, and...

Welcome back to the Healing Mothers’ Club with Danik Bernier! In today's episode, we dive into a topic every mom grapples with: Are my child's tantrums normal? And what should I do if they seem to last longer than expected?

As we continue day 5 of our 7-day mini-series on self-regulation for moms, we'll explore:

Today on "Healing Mothers' Club", your host Danik Bernier talks about the type of trauma that most often leads moms to not be able to be completely attuned with their kids and to not be able to provide the co-regulation their kids need when they have big feelings. The goal of this episode is not to say that there is a type of trauma that is worse than others, but to explain the fact that was chronically left out for you as a child shows up in motherhood.

I go deeper in this topic in my online...

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today I’m explaining why most parenting courses out there fail moms with trauma. Unfortunately, most moms can perceive that it is THEM failing at implementing what they are learning in the parenting course they bought, but it's not them. It's the prescriptive parenting methods used.

Self-Regulation for Moms masterclass is live! Catch it here

Connect with Danik:

·      Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER

This podcast is not meant to replace psychotherapy from a licensed me...

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today we're kick starting a mini series to celebrate the launch of my new online masterclass, Self-Regulation for Moms. Click here to get to the course!

Today I explain why I would have needed self-regulation techniques as a mom myself (even though I'm a trained therapist) :

·      I couldn't see my child struggling when I was brushing his teeth, therefore causing chronic discomfort and could see the signs of trauma in him;

·      I realized that my nervous system was taking me to a...

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today I’m explaining the difference between nervous system regulation and emotional regulation. This is a tricky one because we hear so much contradicting information out there!

The goal with today’s episode is to leave you feeling like:

·      You understand the main differences between the two strategies;

·      You understand that it is NOT your fault if you tried one technique and it didn’t help;

·      You’re empowered to make informed decisions about what works best for your nervous syste...

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today we’re diving into how childhood trauma can resurface when we become mothers. 

In previous episodes, I touched on this topic during the postpartum period, but today we'll explore it throughout all stages of motherhood. I’ll be talking about trauma resurfacing in all stages and ways to stick with your plan to become a trauma-informed parent: 

·      From postpartum to early childhood 

·      teenage years, and

·      becoming or staying a trauma-informed parent as the mom of an adult child.

Welcome back to the podcast under a brand-new name! I’m so excited to have you here and accompany you in this healing journey in motherhood. My name is Danik Bernier, and I'm a mom of two littles, a social worker, psychotherapist, and parenting coach. I can't tell you how excited I am to bring this podcast to life because I’ve been wanting to break the isolation and validate the experiences of moms with trauma for such a long time. You probably didn’t want to be a part of this club because of all the pain you had to...

Hello and welcome the Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms podcast. Today, I’m talking about the ways we can figure out for ourselves if we have trauma that needs healing as a postpartum mom. This episode, like every other, is not meant to replace an assessment or therapy provided by a mental health professional, but rather to expose the fact that trauma is subjective, and NO ONE can decide if what we went through was traumatic or not. We can have trauma symptoms even if we do not have PTSD.

As postpartum moms, we go through a lo...

Hello and welcome back to the Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms podcast! I’m so glad to be back after this short (but needed) break. If it’s your first time here, hi! My name is Danik Bernier, and I'm a mom of two littles, a social worker, and a psychotherapist. I’m so glad to have you here, where you’ll get the validation you most likely need: entering motherhood is not always easy, especially when there are layers of trauma into the mix. Spoiler: they OFTEN have something to do with your postpartum depression and anxiety symptoms.

TRI...

Hey postpartum moms, welcome to episode 7 of Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms. Trauma and anxiety symptoms often overlap, so today I'm breaking down the difference between the two and how they can both show up in this new stage of motherhood.

After listening to this episode, you will know how to spot anxiety and how to spot trauma (without diagnosing yourself, of course, get a better sense of what is going on for you as you navigate motherhood and what you can do about releasing the trauma that shows up as anxiety in your everyday life. Your...

Welcome to this 6th episode of the Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms podcast. This episode is all about my specialty: EMDR Intensives for Postpartum Moms. You've realized that your childhood stuff mixed with birth experience stuff and baby blues sticking longer than it should have to be addressed. But seeking therapy for 1 hour weekly seems sooo rough. We're often way too busy!

Enter EMDR Intensives. This safe and effective method of providing therapy is exactly what busy postpartum moms need. Tune in as I explain:

Hello and welcome to episode 5 of Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms. This episode brings me back to my hospital social worker days where I worked with parents who received the news that their baby or toddler had Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, a genetic syndrome, Autism, and/or a Developmental Delay, to name a few. I loved my work with these incredible parents, but it was heart crushing to see the pain in their eyes. Lucky for me, I often got to see the pain turn into hope and joy as they released the trauma they experienced (with the years...

Why is it important for soon-to-be moms and veteran moms to recognize sexual trauma? It all has to do with what you can do to prevent birth trauma. When we are pregnant and we go into labour and delivery, without recognizing that our body holds trauma, we are at higher risk for birth trauma. There are some physical sensations that can be really intense, which can trigger the trauma that is stored in your body as a survivor of sexual abuse. If we recognize and not minimize our story, then we know what to expect when it’s time to...

Have you ever felt like you're never quite measuring up to the expectations of being the perfect mom? If so, you're not alone. As mothers, we often put a huge amount of pressure on ourselves to provide our children with the best possible childhood, and it is no surprise that we struggle to live up to the ideal. But have you ever considered where this pressure of being the perfect mom comes from? In today's podcast episode, I dive deep into the link between the unrealistic expectations of motherhood that society puts on us and our childhood trauma. 

Can you experience birth trauma even if the birth went well, medically speaking? I get asked this question a lot. If you've given birth or witnessed someone giving birth, you know that no matter how prepared you are, things might go sideways — and not only in the medical sense (such as fearing for the mom's or child's life). That's why in today's podcast episode, I want to dive deeper into the topic of birth trauma, demystify the reasons why you can experience birth trauma even if the birth went well, explain the symptoms of birth trauma, and much more.