Tune Change

We recommend playing this at .75 speed while gradually increasing the volume.  Change chords less often as we ask: do we always like the post-thing more than the thing itself? Can it still be cinematic if we're scoring the TV version? Can Matt be forced to supply an example that squarely fits all the criteria we've laid out? For fans of: space, vocal samples that are either angry or sad, the original Madden version.

Our two great loves, snare sounds and publishing rights, collide. Choose a side in our acrimonious breakup as we explore: what's "the song," really? Has Rick Rubin ever heard a b-side? How can we defend Lars without, you know, defending Lars? For fans of: forbidden hi hats, healthy collaborations between reasonable adults, taxonomy as meditation rather than organization.

We conclude "make it impossible to stumble across our podcast by covering artists no one is searching for in 2026" month (TM) with Archers of Loaf's Icky Mettle. Fade into obscurity with us as we explore: which punk band is actually two punk bands operating under the same name? Should you say the name of your genre out loud like this? Are we embarrassed for ourselves or on behalf of others? For fans of: emphasizing the two, accidental jazz chords, mixing self-loathing with smug superiority.

Where the robes are flowing and the spirituality is vague and palatable. Rest in a state of effortless awareness as we explore: When do dynamics become dead air? How fast can you move your fingers? What's to be done about the sites contaminated by the waste product of jazz fission? For fans of: Essex meets Wessex, jewelry with semantic meaning, correctly betting that the song is about you.

Bill Berry decides to take the tax hit and start withdrawing early, but the remaining members soldier on (being good southern boys, likely as part of a battlefield reenactment). Refute the lost cause myth as we explore: Do we miss the mumbling? How far do you need to travel to call it a departure? Does spinning in a circle and clutching at your t-shirt count? For fans of: extra strings, having one main eyebrow guy, guy remembering and removal.

I'm actually not sure whether we're supposed to watch out for each other in the pit, so do what feels right. Scare away the art school kids as we determine: Which punk house is most livable? If Matt isn't edge now, was he ever? Is there some some sort of prize for truth in advertising? For fans of: pre-post-hardcore, visible veins, exerting your dominance over rival crews.

Groups that are pretty much only mentioned in "influenced by" lists: we love those! Complain about the usability of your sampler's Song Mode as we ask: What is it not unlike? Is there nothing outside the text? Where y'all from? For fans of: jinglin', janglin', morbid island tales, near-miss libel. 

Hey, daddy-o, climb into a dangerous automobile and return with us to a time that did not occur. We'll embrace the domino theory and answer critically important questions like: Who set my dice on fire? Should marriage be defined as being between one man and one metaphor? Do any of you hepcats want to rumble perchance? For fans of: Elvis (Presley), rats (finks, prey), grease (all types).

We return to Grammy-bait hell (and middle-Strat-position hell!) to discuss and older (!) and wiser (?) Steely Dan's triumphant (?) return. Yell at the closest waiter as we ask a series of rhetorical questions: Should we call it a comback? Should we call the police about this man in the park? Where's Don Henley's Nobel Prize? For fans of: things that suck, chords with numbers in 'em, nature, general MIDI.

Wherein we give one another albums to listen to and discover that actually Matt is the mean one. Get on this crazy bird with us and ask: Why not call up Young to try to round out the list? Is it cool if we leave our stuff here? What are the stories BEHIND the music? For fans of: Canadians explaining the blues, close readings of joke songs, forgetting the SASE.

Fortunately, anyone can also do podcasts (trust us, it's just talking). Grow your hair and try not to say anything too embarrassing while we ask: Can we just do a Brian De Palma podcast instead? Will there be blood? How much boomer trash can Matt name before Brett puts his foot down? For fans of: the exhilarating tension between being and becoming, agreeing to shut up but refusing to play the hits, finishing practice so you can play with pedals in your room.

Are we all men? For good or ill, the answer is Yes. Twitch uncomfortably around the stage while we ask: Where's the one? Where's the Eno? Is Devo's message about the dehumanizing effects of technology still even relevant nowadays? For fans of: bit commitment, cartoon theme songs, the other Mothersbaugh.

No, no, Mr. Bungle was my father's name. Call me Alvin. Steadily reduce your slap bass usage while we ask: Can you have it all? (You can't.) Is everything ruined? (Oh, you bet.) Did we like it? (About 70% of it, yeah!) For fans of: Mike Patton and whoever is around at the time, making people listen to Dillinger Escape Plan, videos that changed everything.

Remember, Upper Nile Rodgers refers to Nile Rodgers BELOW the waist. Put on something shiny while we ask: What am I supposed to do during this ballad? Have you heard about when we tried to go to a nightclub but instead went home? How many dances can Matt name before Brett restores order? For fans of: disco deconstruction night, close reading, taxonomy as meditation rather than organization.

Garth Brooks is a mask Chris Gaines wears. Hide behind your bangs (in the rafters, on WCW Monday Nitro) while we ask: Was Tony the talent? Would the Nashville establishment allow you to be this sad without also being drunk? Did there need to be this much behind the artist? For fans of: b-sides with backstories, Billy Joel's comments, Babyface without Babyface.

Santana, both band and not. Face your colleagues and ask difficult questions like: How good can you really be at conga drum in relative terms? Which one of these got Michelle Branch on it? ¿Cuántos años tienes? For fans of: guitarists talk guitarists' guitarist, making it real or forgetting about it, trivia questions where you are the answer.

The poems are great but I bet the bathroom's gross. Neglect to mention Blue Oyster Cult and ask: You flew to Paris for this? Does Matt suck at horse guessing? Couldn't get a Dead Boy? For fans of: gallery shows in rough neighborhoods, making Jesse Helms uncomfortable, art reasons.

Where the discussion inevitably turns to what was on the radio in 1995. Put a wet rag over your mouth as we ask: Can we pick an adultery policy and stick to it? Does Loretta know that people of below average intelligence have feelings? How many songs are requried for this to not be a single? For fans of: fidelity, infidelity, low fidelity.

Wherein God takes a nap. Questions abound: Who said what about who? Would you rather? What else can we take from George Harrison? For fans of: notable quotables, impressing Christgau, and rotting in the sun.

Punk rock: it was a big tent back in those days. Meet up with musclehead zombie Elvis for what turns out to be a good deal of fun. Which host is most likely to be eaten by Danzig’s cats? Did Danzig and Doyle wrestle ever? Does more Misfits mean more moms? For fans of: the horrors Eisenhower-era, plaintiff’s attorneys, Doyle.

Dirty Van Morrison does bad Genesis and we kinda like it. Control your breathing as we ask: Did you get a load of that guy? With the nose? And the teeth? Ew. For fans of: the crazy eyes, prancing but not dancing, nicknaming the homeless rather than arming them.

That’s about 200 degrees Celsius, give or take. Feel free to use the whole disc while we ask: Doesn’t your brother own birds? If we aren’t hot boys, what would you call us? Was the world a better place when Lil Wayne really was little?

For fans of: the remix, the other remix, the other other remix.

This is the one where we start to get our feelings hurt about certain hosts’ rankings of certain songs. But it all works out in the end. In this episode, we ask many questions, like children often do: Tell me all your thoughts on god (oops, not a question). Where the hell is Superdrag? (fantastic question). When are you two starting a family? (Never an appropriate question, please leave).

For fans of: really knowing what it’s like to have the blues, maybe; protecting the pretty babies; being glad because one kid had it worse than that. 

We love the 90s! That’s because our brains find comfort in familiarity, especially when it’s tied to a time in our lives when we had few responsibilities. That’s likely also true of your brain! Let fuzzy memories rock you to sleep as we discuss bands you’ve heard of, bands you don't remember and we do for some reason, and bands Josh made up. On part one, we mostly crawl through a bunch of muck (like Shawshank! 90s!) to find the answers to questions like: Are you Jimmy Ray? Is anyone, really? What do Dead Kennedys and Mere...

It’s just one of those long-winded extended metaphors of Geoff’s / The kind with too many syllables and you want less. Get out your red pen and ask: Does something bad happen to you if you stop talking? Wait, aren’t they all cliffs? Should we give Thrice a shot? For fans of: verse/verse/verse, metaphor marriage, and sans serif fonts.

It’s a Swiss band that says they’re Celtic and you assume is Nordic doing songs about entering the oblivion even though they said they’re going into the pandemonium. FINE THEN. Let the hard frost freeze your roots and numb your senses as we ask: What genres are present (in terms of parts per million)? What’s ‘ol Tommy HellHammer got up his sleeve this time? Hey, didn’t this bell toll for thee already? For fans of: Renegade$, Celtic Pride (1996), and keeping people on their toes.

Like a rocky Nordic ridge, there are peaks and there are valleys, both extreme. Put another Eurovision trophy on the mantle as we ask: Who got musical in my discotheque? Who got discotheque in my musical? Can you feel the music industry slowly draining the joy from this enterprise, Fernando? For fans of: maximalism, matching jumpsuits, and a hint of Latin flavor.

Weird guys talk weird guys who talk mostly about weird guys. Get your weird ass over here so we can ask you some questions: You get a load of that fella? Would you like to know round ‘bout how many years it’s been since we seen him and the sorts of things he would often say? What are the stories behind the music? For fans of: one band and one band only, festival circuits (plural), and tolerating your tourmates.

 Lower your denominators and ask: A clip show already? Will the Deftones forgive us? Which President is it not unlike? For fans of: snares tuned high, guitars tuned low, self-awareness simultaneously tuned high and low.

Can’t sell out if you don’t got choruses. Put a bunch of stickers on your bass and ask: Did you know the guitar strap is adjustable in both directions? Can we be serious for a minute, or maybe even more than a minute? Should skateboarding continue not being a crime? For fans of: verse/verse/verse, addressing the president directly, and fart noises as a personality trait.

Featuring our friend from real life and the podcast Nailed, Blake.

Cheek, kink, and camp—we’ve got it all! Yawn for the camera as we ask: What sort of lads are we dealing with here? Can you let the lady sing a song? What King of the Hill thing are you thinking about? For fans of: dance sensations, hearing the parody first, and knowing the difference because it could mean your life.

Bad news, we tricked you into joining our sleep study. Imagine your breath as the gentle rhythm of a distant sea and ask: Did you hear that rumor about us? Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here? So you could sit me here next to Britney Spears? For fans of: in-between Strat positions, sterile laboratories, and Sheryl Crow’s less difficult material. 

We swapped microphones every few words for this one. Walk calmly but quickly away from Steven Tyler and ask: Were we supposed to do basslines for all of them? Which 30-year-old cheerleader is it not unlike? What does Jewel think about all this? For fans of: VH1 through the ages, authorial intent, and desperately grasping for Run DMC’s coattails. 

Joe Strummer is going to be so mad. Keep your voice down while we ask: Not English enough, ha? How can such a small island support so many supermarket chains? If the band doesn’t work, maybe film school? For fans of: Intended puns, all English everything, and superfluous ‘postrophes that’s all scatter’d 'round.  

Monoliths and Dimensions 

The producer is giving us the “stretch it out” signal. Come to the far north of…oh, America. That’s disappointing. But anyway: What kind of amps do y’all use? How much greater is the whole than the parts? Are we gonna do Stonehenge tomorrow night? For fans of: DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN, commitment to the bit, and lying in the bed you made. 

The Golden Casket 

Let’s see what most of the boys have been up to. Push/pull from above and below the stars and dirt and ask: How many Modest Mouses are there these days? Did we give Jeremiah Green enough to do? Can the love of a child melt even the coldest of hearts? For fans of: Creative direction, things and the opposite of those things, and kidding because you love the major third interval.

Deguello 

Honestly, the unexamined life sounds pretty fun. Bring A MINIMUM OF one friend and ask: Does this everyday object remind you of anything? Can you play the blues without having them? Qualis artifex pereo? For fans of: Careful sequencing, incrementalism, and that sweet Donahue sound. 

Wait, I just got it. Wink at your art school friends and ask: evil robot space carnival? Pretty impressive, huh? What hath Paul wrought? For fans of: nearly one song per side, evil clowns who won’t cover you in root beer, and, if we’re being honest, lots and lots of keyboards. 

Programming note: Matt had a recording mishap, so he sounds a bit different this episode. The dulcet tones will return next episode.

Unnamed others are the disease, and Hatebreed’s got the cure. Look out for each other in the pit and ask: Are you talking to me? Does this read a little different in the current climate? Why don’t we just skip to the breakdown? For fans of: perseverance, undifferentiated sludge, and OK tastes that taste OK together. 

Songs from the Big Chair 

They made most of an album and we made most of an episode about it. Take your sweet time and ask: Will we ever laugh again? What if we slowed it down? Does this seem familiar to anyone else? For fans of: overthinking it, shouting it out, and occasionally requiring a jacket.