Enlightened By Dogs: Living with Cooperation, Not Obedience

Adopting a partnership approach can dramatically enhance your life and your relationship with your dog. This approach fosters a harmonious and respectful relationship, where both you and your dog actively contribute to enhancing the quality of your life together.

Here are some key aspects of the partnership approach:

Heart and Connection: We focus on building a foundation of heart connection, and trust, supporting our dogs’ development.

Emotionally Intelligent Choices: By engaging with our dogs through emotionally intelligent choices, we lead to a more harmonious home.

Shared Responsibilities: Prioritizing love, trust, and co...

Have you ever wondered how a simple laugh can change the entire dynamic between you and your dog? Laughter is known for its stress-relieving qualities among humans, but its effects are just as impactful on our dogs. When you laugh, you emit signals of safety and joy that can help calm and reassure your dog. Laughter acts like a reset button during stressful situations. It helps to reassure your dog that there's nothing to worry about, calming their nerves and transforming a potentially tense situation into a moment of bonding.

In this episode, we explore how laughter...

As devoted dog moms, we often focus on training and caring for our dogs in ways that involve doing things "to" or “for” them. But what if I told you that shifting from "doing to" to "doing with" could revolutionize your relationship with your dog? This simple change moves us from a dynamic of control to one of collaboration, which not only strengthens our bond but transforms everyday caregiving into moments of shared joy.

For more insights and practical advice on how to deepen your relationship with your dog through playfulness and collaborative practices, tune in to...

Our dog’s personality traits offer a roadmap to their heart and mind, allowing us to work with their nature for deeper connection, smoother communication, and better cooperation.

Every dog is an individual, and knowing what makes your dog tick can be the key to unlocking a harmonious relationship. 🗝️💖 Understand their personality traits, and you'll understand how to communicate effectively and cooperate joyfully. 🐕💬

Dive deeper into how to connect with your dog on a whole new level by tuning into this episode with Kathy.

Tune in to explore:

The Importance of Understanding Se...

In this episode of Enlightened by Dogs, we explore the topic of understanding and navigating the sensitivities, preferences and quirks that affect our daily lives with our dogs.

Here’s what we unpack in today’s episode:

Understanding Mindset: We begin by exploring what a mindset is and how it influences our interactions with the world and our dogs. Your beliefs and perspectives can significantly impact the success of your relationship with your dog.

Exploring Our Sensitivities: I invite you to think about your own sensitivities. Whether it's loud noises or crowd...

In this episode, we journeyed further into the heart of understanding the unintended consequences of avoiding triggers and how such actions can inadvertently escalate reactivity in our dogs. 

Be sure to listen to part 1: EBD301  “Shrinking Worlds, Growing Reactivity: Why Avoiding Triggers Backfires.”

One of the insights from this discussion is that trust is not transactional, and we can’t buy trust from our dogs at any price. Instead, trust is earned through consistent, reliable actions that demonstrate to our dogs that they are safe with us and can rely on us to navi...

Recently, I've had the joy of exploring the often challenging terrain of reactivity in dogs, peeling back the layers to understand the underlying causes that sweep us and our canine companions into this whirlwind. It's been an enlightening journey, especially during my "Growing Together from Reactive to Remarkable" workshop, where we shared breakthroughs as dedicated dog moms.

In our latest episode, we've ventured into a topic that's both pivotal and potentially mind-bending: the counterintuitive truth about avoiding triggers. Yes, you've heard me champion the cause of green zone experiences, crafting a world of safety, calm, a...

This episode unfolds a compassionate and insightful exploration into what reactivity in dogs truly means, advocating for a profound shift in our understanding and response to it. 

Kathy introduces listeners to a reimagined definition of reactivity, rooted in the complexities of canine communication and the frequent misunderstandings that arise when these communications go unheard or unheeded. 

It challenges the common definition of reactivity—behavior that is inappropriately out of proportion to a situation—by suggesting that what is often seen as reactive behavior is actually a sign of high intelligence, sensitivity, and conf...

In this episode Kathy explores the nuanced communication between dog moms and their dogs, emphasizing the importance of understanding and reframing our perceptions of our dogs' behaviors. 

Kathy shares the idea that behaviors we often interpret as disobedience or refusal are actually our dogs communicating their unmet needs. She advocates for a shift from correction to connection, suggesting that listening and engaging in a dialogue with our dogs can lead to a deeper understanding and a more harmonious relationship. Kathy offers practical advice on becoming a guide for our dogs by establishing clear, kind communication an...

In this inspiring podcast replay, Kathy interviews Ros about her transformative experience with her two Hungarian Vizslas, Phoebe and Myrtle. Ros discusses the initial challenges of their reactivity and her subsequent journey to understanding and connecting with them in a way that led to an enjoyable life together. 

The episode highlights the pivotal role of a dog mom’s mindset in influencing dog behavior, the importance of addressing the underlying causes of reactivity, and the effectiveness of the 'Safe, Calm, and Happy' approach. It showcases the significant behavioral transformation possible through partnership-based methods. 

Today’s episode addresses the common yet frustrating issue many dog moms face - their dogs not responding to recall in everyday situations. 

In this insightful episode, host Kathy sheds light on why traditional command-based recall methods often fall short and offers a more effective, connection-based approach. 

This podcast is essential for dog moms looking to understand their dogs better and build a relationship where recall becomes a natural, stress-free part of their daily life. Kathy guides listeners through practical, real-life scenarios, demonstrating how empathy and understanding can transform recall from a struggle to a joyf...

In this episode, Kathy discusses the profound impact our subconscious beliefs can have on our dogs' behavior, drawing on the concept of the Pygmalion Effect or Self-fulfilling Prophecy. 

Common frustrations and challenges dog moms face, like reactivity, over-excitement, and disobedience, can be transformed by starting with a shift from judgment to understanding and support.  Negative beliefs about our dogs can create a challenging loop of behavior that spirals into meltdowns or shutdowns, while positive perceptions can lead to more harmonious interactions. 

Kathy's message is clear: when dog moms believe in cooperation, they create an environment whe...

In this insightful episode, Kathy delves into the nuanced topic of leadership in the context of a relationship with our dogs that cultivates natural cooperation. She emphasizes the importance of being a loving leader without resorting to dominance or obedience training. Kathy explains that true leadership is about guiding, listening, and fostering trust rather than commanding or exerting control. 

Kathy advocates for a leadership style that centers on making dogs feel safe, thereby cultivating trust and cooperation. This episode is not only a guide to better understanding dogs but also a reflection on the transformative po...

Today on The Enlightened by Dogs Show, our host Kathy Kawalec dives deep into the beautiful world of empathy, connection, and mindful partnership with our dogs. She reminds us that it's not just about what we do, but also about who we are being in our relationship with our dogs. Our intentions and values shape our actions and the results we achieve.

To truly connect with our dogs, Kathy encourages us to reflect on what we truly value and desire in our relationship with them. She shares some fantastic exercises to help us gain clarity o...

In this heartfelt episode, we delve into the essence of being a dog mom, exploring the powerful bond between women and their dogs, highlighting the unique perspectives and experiences that shape this relationship. 

Kathy challenges conventional dog training philosophies, advocating for a partnership approach rooted in understanding, respect, and mutual growth. We delve into the concepts of power and leadership, contrasting traditional 'Power Over' methods with a more nurturing, 'Power WITH' approach, which aligns with the natural tendencies of women to create safe, empathetic environments for growth and connection.

Tune in for practical insights into d...

As we step into the festive season, we often find ourselves swept up in the whirlwind of holiday preparations. However, amidst the glittering lights and cheerful melodies, our sensitive dogs can sense our stress along with the change in their environment, sometimes reflecting it in their own behavior. This season, Kathy invites you to create a holiday 'green zone' – a sanctuary of calm and connection for both you and your beloved dogs.

Creating this green zone starts with us, the devoted dog moms. When we acknowledge our own stress and take steps to manage it, we pave th...

In this podcast episode, Kathy Kawalec talks about the importance of communication in building a beautiful and cooperative relationship with our dogs. She starts by expressing how living with dogs is a gift, despite the challenges that sometimes come with it. Kathy emphasizes that communication with our dogs isn't just about giving commands; it's a two-way street. It's about exchanging ideas, feelings, and understanding each other's intentions. She points out that dogs don't just act out or misbehave without a reason. Instead, their actions often come from a place of need or misunderstanding. Understanding this can change how we...

Inspired by a Business Insider article on meditation's impact on the human brain, Kathy ponders whether our stressful lives might be affecting our dogs more than we realize in this replayed episode. This leads her to question if our hectic lifestyles might also be changing our dogs' brains, possibly increasing their stress and anxiety.

The strong bond we share with our dogs has been shaped by years of living together, and while our furry friends help reduce our stress, we might unknowingly be causing them stress. Kathy observes that many modern dogs seem over-aroused, anxious, a...

Sometimes, in the hustle of dog sports and the pursuit of the 'perfectly trained' dog, we might lose sight of why we welcomed these loving creatures into our lives in the first place. This episode is a gentle nudge to step back and cherish the unconditional love, companionship, and personal growth our dogs bring to us every single day.

In this episode, Kathy shares a heart-to-heart talk about the deep and enriching bond we share with our dogs and a reminder of what's truly important in our lives together.

In our li...

Today's podcast is a beloved replay of Kathy’s special tribute to our faithful friends—our dogs. Dogs are embodiments of love, laughter, and connection. Yes, they can sometimes be the source of frustration, but the joy they sprinkle in our lives eclipses those fleeting moments of worry. And even when we face communication hurdles, the bond remains unshaken.

In the first segment of this podcast, Kathy shares an excerpt from Mary Oliver's "Dog Songs." The passage read is a testament to the untamed spirit that dogs carry, a spirit that echoes the wilderness from which...

We are replaying this deep and insightful episode of Enlightened By Dogs, where Kathy shares a story that many struggling dog moms will relate to. Hear how she overcame difficult challenges and learn how her hardest dog taught her the true meaning of living a joy-filled partnership lifestyle with dogs.

Some of our most important life lessons come from our hardest dogs. If it wasn’t for those challenges, Kathy tells us that she  would never have the experience, insight, and determination to become the better person she is today.

Phoenix taugh...

Today, we are replaying a compilation of inspiring tales from dog moms who faced various challenges with their reactive dogs and then completely turned things around.

From dogs barking incessantly at fences, reacting aggressively on leashes, fearing strangers, or simply refusing to move on sidewalks due to panic, these stories shine a light on hope. No matter the existing relationship with your dog - even if it's already good - there’s so much more!,

These dog moms embraced the partnership principles, and with a change in mindset that led to a tr...

Kathy Kawalec shares an intimate story about her border collie Maya, who had been rejected by three homes by the time she was six months old. Maya was labeled "untrainable" due to her uncontrollable and dangerous chasing habits. Experienced trainers struggled with her, but Kathy approached the situation differently.

Instead of focusing on training specific behaviors, Kathy prioritized establishing a strong foundation with Maya, emphasizing these key partnership principles:

Role modeling: Showing Maya the norms of living as a family and helping her adapt through classical conditioning.

Meeting Maya's needs: Ensuring she felt...

Kathy is replaying this important episode featuring the journey she took with her sheltie from fearful to confident.  In this heartwarming and enlightening episode, Kathy reminisces about her journey with her Sable Sheltie, Haley, from the early 1990s. Beginning with a look at Haley's profound fear of strangers, the narrative evolves to reflect on the transformational nature of their bond. 

Despite the obstacles they faced, like Haley's unexpected chase after horses, Kathy employed her deep respect for animals, intuitive training methods, and a departure from conventional wisdom. 

Over the years, Kathy's philo...

Ever caught your dog looking into your eyes and felt they were trying to tell you something, but couldn't quite grasp their message? You try to listen, but deep down you continue to wonder what your dog is really trying to say.

Whether it's a simple need or a crucial warning, our four-legged friends communicate using body language, vocalizations, and various behaviors. While they can't 'speak human,' we often don't 'speak dog’ – creating misunderstandings that can lead to frustrations, meltdowns, over-arousal and other escalations that happen when there is a communication gap. 

...

do we jump to conclusions, thinking that our dogs are refusing to listen or choosing to be difficult? This week’s podcast episode invites us to see our dogs in a new light - as beings HAVING a hard time, NOT giving us a hard time. It’s all about creating “a life of compassion, connection, and cooperation with our dogs. And everyone else in our life too!”

Tune in and explore how we can be more forgiving and understanding, not just towards our dogs but also towards ourselves.

3 Key...

In this episode, Kathy explores the profound connection between our thoughts, feelings, and actions and the way they shape our lives with our dogs. We’re delving into how powerful our minds really are and how we can better utilize our brains to help us.

Our old ‘Lizzie’ brain often throws us off course, highlighting the hurdles and tough bits, convincing us to stick to the status quo, even when our hearts are yearning for change. Kathy encourages us to tap into our executive thinking brain to break through this resistance and to set our imagina...

In today’s heartwarming episode, we dive into the essence of consent and freedom in our relationship with our dogs. Reflecting on a coaching session from the Brilliant Partners Academy, we discuss how reimagining our approach towards dogs can build a deep-rooted trust and a cooperative partnership. 

Many of our dogs face anxiety at the vet and with difficult caregiving procedures, and this episode provides insights on handling those situations. The conversation revolves around allowing our dogs to have the agency of choice, creating an environment where they feel seen and heard. We unravel what it m...

In this episode of the "Enlightened by Dogs" podcast, Kathy sheds light on what might be keeping us from having that trusting, heart-to-heart connection with our dogs. Often, without realizing it, we may be building walls between ourselves and our dogs, in spite of our true intentions.

Being stuck in our heads, worrying, or fearing mistakes can hinder the genuine connection that we crave. Kathy emphasizes the importance of being present, avoiding the busy-ness trap, and understanding our unintentional addiction to drama. Inspired by insights from her Brilliant Partners Academy, Kathy shares stories of dog m...

Experiencing the true depth of connection with our dogs lies in understanding our own feelings and mindset.

This episode revolves around a pivotal thought: What if we could manifest the emotions we wish to experience in the future, right in this moment? And what would that mean for our future relationship and partnership life with our dogs?

It’s not about waiting for our dogs to behave a certain way to feel happiness or contentment, it’s about cultivating those feelings in the moment, today.

Often, we find ou...

At the heart of every reactive behavior our dogs display is a stress spiral – a chain of emotions and misunderstandings. As dog moms, we often face challenges, especially when confronted with the seeming unpredictability of our dogs' reactions. But what if the key to resolving these reactions isn't in training your dog, but in retraining your brain?

We explore the powerful concept that taking responsibility for our own thoughts, especially during difficult experiences, can drastically change the dynamic with our dogs. The reactivity spiral isn't just about your dog's actions; it's a two-way street, influenced as...

In today's episode, we look at the world of natural communication and connection with our canine companions. Think back to when you first brought your pup home, that initial bond, the trust, and the love that started to flourish. However, as life happens, unpredictable and potentially traumatic events can strain that bond. So, how do we foster a relationship that ensures our dogs look to us as trustworthy during these scary experiences? 

Reflecting on the nature of dogs, puppies naturally gravitate towards their mother and littermates. It's instinctual. They seek warmth, protection, and food. As do...

In this first episode of a three-part series, Kathy highlights the importance of building your dog’s social confidence. She uses a variety of scenarios to explain what it means and when it’s necessary to be an advocate for your dog.

The series takes a closer look at ways you can stay connected with your dog in awkward and somewhat unpleasant social situations.

Did you know that your puppy or young dog is at the most impressionable stage of their life?

They’re experiencing most things for the f...

We often make unconscious decisions about what our dog’s unwanted behavior means, and then jump to conclusions and take actions based on those assumptions. But what if their behavior doesn’t mean what we think it means?

In today’s episode, we’re going to take a look at why dogs behave certain ways, and how we commonly respond to those behaviors, without even thinking much about it.

When you have greater clarity and a deeper understanding of what your dog does, why they do it, and how they respond to you, it...

When we take a deeper look at what it means to walk in partnership with our dogs, we find opportunities for bonding, connection, mutual respect and kindness.

Most of us dog moms envision walking our dogs as an enjoyable experience … but that’s not always how it goes! 

For many dog moms, walking their dogs can be a stressful and frustrating experience, rather than a beautiful bonding opportunity.

But, what if walking with your dog was easy?

It sounds like a dream come true, right?

Join Ka...

In this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, Kathy dives into using the power of your thinking to reach the full potential of becoming a brilliant partner with your dog. 

Sharing some of her favorite strategies, Kathy makes a case for taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions as key for having a successful and happy relationship with our canine partners. 

Visualizing the life we want to have and having a balance between achieving and growing can help us better understand and connect with our dogs for lifelong partnership success, and for...

All behavior is communication, so how your dog responds to you (or doesn’t respond to you) is how they are trying to tell you how they feel in the moment. 

When your dog seemingly refuses to listen to you, it can be really frustrating. Sometimes, it can even feel like your dog isn’t listening to you on purpose, which makes you even more frustrated. 

Thankfully, Kathy knows just what you need to do to change your story from ‘my dog won’t listen’ to ‘my dog loves to listen’!

Now, the answer might not...

In this episode Kathy will help you identify the root cause of your dog’s excessive barking, and guide you through the eight steps of her Bark Busting Protocol to prevent and rehab unwanted barking, the partnership way.

Pretty much every dog mom has a story of their dog’s over-the-top barking. Kathy certainly has a few stories of her own, and she shares the exact steps she took with unwanted barking with her own dogs in this episode.

So, what are the steps to getting on top of unwanted barking? What’s...

We’re making it real with this episode!  It’s when we step into our place as trustworthy role models and loving leaders that our relationship with our dog truly blossoms.

When we and our dogs are feeling safe, calm and happy – Kathy calls that ‘being in the green zone’ – then we are able to connect, make better choices and interrupt the behavior spiral of stress that no one wants.

As Kathy emphasizes in this episode of Enlightened By Dogs, we need to move away from the desensitizing, counter-conditioning mindset of dog training th...

Are you getting in the way of building the future of your dreams with your dog?

When we welcome a dog into our lives, we usually dream of living in perfect harmony together with (preferably) no ‘unwanted behavior’. So, when things don’t turn out the way we thought they would, it’s easy to let ourselves get lost in a sea of negative thoughts.

We become so focused on everything that’s ‘wrong’ with our lives (and our dogs), that we forget to focus on what’s truly important.

While...