Compassionate Heart Parenting
Compassionate Heart Parenting | Peaceful Parenting for Real LifeYou love your kids deeply — and you still lose it sometimes. You're in the right place.This podcast is for parents who are drawn to gentle parenting, peaceful parenting, conscious parenting, and Hand in Hand Parenting — but who also know how hard it can be to stay calm in the real, messy, overwhelming moments of family life.Hi, I'm Michelle — mom of 3, recovering yeller, and Emotionally Focused Family Therapist. I've been through parent burnout, depression, and anxiety, and I climbed my way out using the very tools I share here. Now I help parent...
Strong-Willed Is Sensitivity in Disguise: A Hand In Hand Parenting Look at Highly Sensitive Kids
Certified Hand in Hand Parenting instructor Abigail Wald joins Michelle to explore the overlooked connection between high sensitivity and strong-willed behavior — and why one is often the response to the other, not a separate trait.
Through an Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) and attachment lens, Abigail and Michelle unpack "silent promises" (the hidden expectations that quietly shape — and sometimes sabotage — our parenting), the "porous vs. glazed" framework for understanding sensitivity, and how to set loving, firm limits with strong-willed kids without losing connection.
Topics covered: EFFT and attachment-informed parenting, highly sensitive children, strong-willed children, Hand in Han...
Big Kid Meltdowns: Why Your Older Kiddo Still Need You
Your 8-year-old slams the door. Your 11-year-old melts down over homework. Are they too old for this? In this episode, I explain what big kids are really asking for when they fall apart, and what to do next.
I'm Michelle Puster, a licensed therapist, Emotionally Focused Family Therapist Supervisor, and a mom of three who has used Hand in Hand Parenting in my own family for over 10 years. We look at the attachment science behind meltdowns in kids ages 5 to 12: what Spitz observed in 1945, Bowlby's secure base and safe haven, Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne...
No to the Behavior, Yes to the Feelings: Hand In Hand Lens on Meltdowns
A physiotherapist, craniosacral therapist, and Hand in Hand Parenting instructor joins Michelle to unpack what's really happening underneath kids' big behaviors — and why "fixing it" so often misses the point.
Drawing on attachment theory and an Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) lens, Shelley Clark explains why meltdowns after school, sibling fights, and "it's not about the banana" moments are the nervous system completing a stress cycle — and why leaning in, rather than correcting, is what actually helps kids (and parents) come back into balance.
Topics covered: EFFT and attachment-informed parenting, "no to the behavior, yes to t...
The Time-Out I'll Never Forget: An EFFT Therapist's Parenting Confession
A therapist trained in Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) shares the parenting moment she's kept private for years — and the attachment-based shift that changed how she responds to her kids' hardest behaviors.
Michelle breaks down why difficult behavior is a signal of distress, not defiance, using Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT), attachment science, and brain development research (Dr. Dan Siegel, Dr. Laura Markham, Hand in Hand Parenting). She shares her own story — including the moment that pushed her to stop parenting from punishment and start parenting from connection.
Topics covered: EFFT and attachment theory, "flipping the...
When Your Child Shuts Down — What Their Nervous System Is Really Telling You — Aware Parenting Joss Goulden
Your grade-schooler shuts down after school. Your preteen slams their door and won't talk. It's one of the hardest moments in parenting — and one of the most misunderstood.
In this episode, Michelle sits down with Joss Goulden — a Level 2 Aware Parenting Instructor and mother of two now-adult children, ages 22 and 20 — for a conversation that reframes difficult behavior entirely. Joss explains what's actually happening in a child's nervous system when they withdraw, melt down, or become defiant, and why it's never about disrespect. She shares the "wind-up toy" metaphor for how small daily stresses accumulate into meltdowns that seem t...
Play First, Limits Second — What Aware Parenting Teaches Us About Connection — Rebecca Sheikh
When Rebecca Sheikh lost her mother, something in her shifted beyond grief. She found herself understanding, in a deeply embodied way, just how enormous separation actually feels — and how desensitized we, as adults, have become to how big that experience is for our children.
In this episode, Michelle sits down with Rebecca Sheikh — a certified Level 2 Aware Parenting Instructor and regional coordinator for the UK and Sub-Saharan Africa — for a conversation that moves fluidly between deep personal vulnerability and clinically grounded parenting wisdom. Rebecca shares what her mother's death opened up in her own understanding of attachment and lo...
You Raise Them to Let Them Go — Emotionally Focused Family Therapist Rachel Thomas on Parenting Through Every Stage
Just when you finally understand your child's current stage — they move into the next one, and you have to learn everything all over again.
In this episode Michelle sits down with Rachel Thomas, a therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Family Therapy — an attachment-based approach that helps caregivers show up as accessible, responsive, and engaged so children can develop secure attachment. As a parent of two young adults, ages 19 and 21, Rachel has lived every stage of this work both clinically and personally — including, on the day of this recording, sending her son off for his sophomore year of colleg...
Parenting: My Favorite Tool, Play (REPLAY)
Play is one of the most powerful, and most overlooked, tools in peaceful parenting. In this episode, Michelle shares why play works so well to defuse tension, build connection, and help kids (and parents!) regulate big emotions, along with simple ways to bring more playful moments into everyday parenting.
Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting.
You’ll get a story fr...
Validate the Feeling, Hold the Limit — What EFFT Teaches Us About Screens and Connection — Allison Zangari Arnett
Have you ever felt like you had to choose between understanding your child and actually holding the limit? Between empathy and authority? Between connection and correction?
Allison Zangari Arnett — Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and certified Emotionally Focused Family, Couple, and Individual Therapist with over a decade of experience — is here to tell you: you do not have to choose.
In this episode Allison and Michelle explore one of the most powerful reframes in Emotionally Focused Family Therapy — that you can validate your child's feeling withou...
Navigating Sibling Fighting WITHOUT Losing Your Cool (REPLAY)
Sibling conflict can push even the most patient parent to their limit. Michelle breaks down what's really happening beneath the bickering and fighting, and offers grounded, science-backed strategies to help you stay calm, set loving limits, and guide your kids toward connection instead of chaos.
Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in your parenting.
You’ll get a story from my heart and a...
Why Your Child Pushes You Away When They Need You Most — An EFFT Conversation with Corien Boers
When your child is struggling — really struggling, in a way that scares you — the hardest part is often not what is happening with your child. It is the helplessness. The fear that no matter how much you love them you cannot reach them. And what Emotionally Focused Therapy calls "attachment panic" — the state a parent enters when their child is suffering and emotionally unreachable.
In this episode Michelle sits down with Corien Boers — certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and supervisor from the Netherlands with over 25 years of experience working with families, including deep clinical work with children and adolesce...
When Stress Becomes All Consuming In Parenting (REPLAY)
When the weight of parenting starts to feel like too much, it's easy to lose sight of the calm, connected parent you want to be. In this episode, Michelle explores what happens when stress takes over, how it shows up in our bodies and our reactions, and shares practical ways to find your footing again before overwhelm turns into yelling.
Join me each week for a tail from the trenches of parenting burnout and how I (and you) can use mindfulness, mediation and self-compassion to find your inner calm and a little more sanity in...
She Dreaded 3pm Every Day — What Her Child with ADHD Taught Her About Parenting — EFFT Therapist Katharina Sandizell
In this episode Michelle sits down with Katharina Sandizell — Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, ICEEFT Certified EFT Therapist and Supervisor across Couples, Individuals, and Families, and Certified AEDP therapist — for one of the most clinically rich and personally honest conversations on the podcast. They explore what is really happening inside parents when parenting gets hard, what the research tells us about how emotions actually move through children and adults when they feel safe, and what repair looks like in real family life — not the concept, but the words, the moment, the breath.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why...Emotionally Focused Family Therapy: When Your Marriage Is Affecting Your Parenting — Dennis & Kim Eames
What if the thing standing between you and the parent you want to be is not a technique — but the unhealed places in your closest relationship?
Dennis and Kim Eames are certified Emotionally Focused Couple, Family, and Individual Therapists and Supervisors at Infinity Family Therapy — and they bring something to this conversation that no clinical training alone could provide: they have lived it. Twenty years into their marriage, with their relationship highly strained. Their children were quietly learning to duck and cover. Kim privately believed it was too late to have a real relationship with her daughter.
How to Repair with Your Kiddo (Emotionally Focused Family Therapy Tools) — with Stephanie Chimient
Do you love your child with everything you have — and still lie awake wondering if you're the reason they're struggling? That guilt is one of the heaviest things a parent can carry. And in this episode, Stephanie Chimienti is going to help you put some of it down.
Stephanie is a Registered Psychotherapist trained in Emotionally Focused Family Therapy, play therapy, and parts work — a rare and powerful combination that allows her to work with families at multiple levels simultaneously: the cycles between parent and child, the internal parts the parent carries from their own history, and the...
What It Really Takes to Go From Reactive to Regulated — Guest Sarah Rosensweet
You believe in peaceful parenting.
You’ve done the reading.
You know that connection comes before correction, that empathy matters, that your child’s behavior is a signal—not a problem.
And then the moment comes…
and none of it is accessible to you.
If that gap between knowing and doing feels like the story of your parenting life, this episode is going to land somewhere important.
Michelle sits down with Sarah Rosensweet—certified peaceful parenting coach, founder of Reimagine Peaceful Parenting, host of the top-rated Peaceful Parenting Podcast, and a mom of...
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy: What Your Child Is Really Asking for When They Fall Apart — Kathryn de Bruin & Ronda Evans
When your child is at their most dysregulated — melting down, shutting down, pushing you away — the moment they need you most is also the moment it's hardest to be present. Why does that happen? And what does it actually take to become the safe place your child is reaching for?
In this episode Michelle sits down with two of the most experienced Emotionally Focused Family Therapy clinicians working with families today. Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer, registered Play Therapy Supervisor, and co-host of The Family Therapy Express Podcast. Ronda Evans is an EFT Supe...
Peaceful Parenting: How to Handle Gamer Rage Calmly (Replay)
Gaming battles can quickly turn into fear, yelling, and power struggles—but underneath it all is often a parent trying deeply to protect their child. In this replay episode, Michelle explores how fear impacts our nervous system, why gaming feels so compelling for kids, and how peaceful parenting helps us respond with calm, connected boundaries instead of panic and control.
Listen the full replay episode of “How to Calmly Respond When Gaming is a Constant Fight?” on Compassionate Heart Mindful Life.
Join me each week for a tail from the trench...
How to Parent Through Divorce Without Losing Connection
If you’ve ever worried that a hard season in your family may have impacted your relationship with your child… this episode will give you real hope.
Today, we’re talking about something most parenting conversations avoid:
what actually happens to the parent-child relationship during major life transitions like divorce.
I’m joined by therapist, speaker, and founder of the Center for Growth and Connection, Michelle Cantrell, who shares both her professional insight and deeply personal experience of going through a gray divorce after nearly 30 years of marriage—while parenting her adult daughters.
Inside t...
Your Parent Guilt Is Not Evidence You're Failing — Here's What It's Really Telling You"
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Parent guilt is one of the most universal experiences in parenting — and one of the most misunderstood. In this episode, Michelle makes a distinction that could change everything: guilt about a specific behavior — I yelled this morning and I wish I hadn't — is healthy and informative. But the chronic, low-grade guilt most parents carry — the constant sense of never being enough, always falling short — is something different entirely.
The Hidden Truth of Tantrums with Helena Mooney
Does your child’s yelling, crying, or intense meltdowns leave you feeling overwhelmed and unsure? In this episode, we sit down with Helena Mooney, a certified Hand in Hand and Aware Parenting coach, to flip the script on "bad behavior".
We dive deep into the science of emotional release and why "pretexts"—like a meltdown over a pink plate—are actually healthy opportunities for healing. Helena shares practical tools for reactive parenting, including the "listening partnership" for parents and why simple games like hide-and-seek are powerful for separation anxiety.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How to...Why You Can’t “Fix” Your Emotions (another way)
"I’ll give you something to cry about." Most of us grew up with messages telling us that our emotions were problems to be solved or inconveniences to be hidden. Even as a seasoned therapist, I fell into the trap of trying to "muscle through" my toughest parenting moments—until it led to total burnout.
In today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on a personal story of losing my cool and finding my way back through the RAIN practice. We explore why your emotions aren't something to be fixed, but something to be heard.
...
The Surprising Truth About Self-Compassion
"If I stop criticizing myself, I’ll just stop trying." If you’ve ever felt like self-compassion is just "letting yourself off the hook" or lowering the bar for your parenting, this episode is for you.
Michelle (EFT Therapist) challenges the dangerous myth that self-criticism is a motivator. Drawing on 15 years of clinical work and the latest research, she reveals why shame actually keeps you frozen in the very patterns you’re trying to break.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
The Accountability Paradox: Why self-compassion actually increases responsibility and motivati...The Lie We Were All Told About 'Negative' Emotions
Do you ever feel an immediate wave of shame the moment you feel angry at your kids? In this episode, Michelle (Emotionally Focused Therapist) pulls apart the dangerous myth that "good parents" don't feel rage, resentment, or despair.
Discover why your most painful emotions are actually vital messages from your nervous system—not evidence of failure. Michelle shares her personal journey from the bathroom floor to a place of "calm and connected" using the science of mindfulness and self-compassion.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why we were taught to fear our own "negative" emot...The Cycle No One Talks About (and How to Escape It)
Do you ever find yourself in that agonizing loop: stress builds, you lose your cool and yell, and then a wave of soul-crushing shame hits you? You promise yourself you’ll never do it again, only to find yourself back in the same spot tomorrow.
In this episode, Michelle (Emotionally Focused Therapist) pulls back the curtain on the cycle that millions of parents live in but can’t quite articulate. We explore why willpower alone never breaks this cycle and why shame actually prevents the change you’re desperate to make.
You’ll discover:
The "Inv...Navigating Sibling Fighting WITHOUT Losing Your Cool
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Sibling fighting is normal—but how we respond as parents makes all the difference. In this video, I share my journey from reactive anger and frustration to a more grounded, realistic approach that brought peace and clarity into our home. Learn simple mindset shifts and practical ways to stay calm, set loving limits, and support your kids without losing yourself in the process.
Want to le...
Your Greatest Weakness May Also Be Your Greatest Strength
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
What if the parts of yourself you’ve struggled with the most are also your greatest strengths? In this episode, Michelle shares her daughter’s dyslexia diagnosis and how it reframed her understanding of ADHD, depression, and so-called “weaknesses” as powerful gifts. Through a lens of self-compassion and mindful parenting, she invites you to see both yourself and your child in a new, strength-based light.
Want to...
Locked in a Cage of My Own Making - Fear
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Have you ever felt locked in a cage of your own making—afraid to fully be yourself? In this episode, Michelle shares a vulnerable story about shrinking to avoid rejection and how fear of not being accepted can quietly shape our parenting and relationships. Through mindfulness, self-compassion, and small courageous steps, she offers a path toward showing up more authentically—for yourself and your children.
Want...
Is Isolation Keeping You Stuck in Unhappiness
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Is isolation quietly keeping you stuck in unhappiness? In this episode, Michelle shares a personal story about loneliness in motherhood and how connection, mindfulness, and self-compassion can help you find your way back to calm. You are not meant to do this alone.
Want to learn with Michelle:
Learning about attachment in my work as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, reading Dr. Laura Markham’s...
Befriending Your Emo In Parenting
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Want to learn with Michelle:
Learning about attachment in my work as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, reading Dr. Laura Markham’s, Dr. Daniel Siegel’s books, and finding Hand in Hand parenting all solidified my commitment to parent peacefully.
There...
Why Am I still Yelling (Even though I'm making changes)
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Want to learn with Michelle:
Learning about attachment in my work as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, reading Dr. Laura Markham’s, Dr. Daniel Siegel’s books, and finding Hand in Hand parenting all solidified my commitment to parent peacefully.
There was just one p...
When Parenting Your High-Need Child Feels Like Too Much
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Want to learn with Michelle:
Learning about attachment in my work as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, reading Dr. Laura Markham’s, Dr. Daniel Siegel’s books, and finding Hand in Hand parenting all solidified my commitment to parent peacefully.
There was just one p...
Understanding Your Highly Sensitive Boy
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Want to learn with Michelle:
Learning about attachment in my work as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, reading Dr. Laura Markham’s, Dr. Daniel Siegel’s books, and finding Hand in Hand parenting all solidified my commitment to parent peacefully.
There was just one p...
How to Calmly Respond When Gaming is a Constant Fight?
Join Michelle, Mom of 3, Emotionally Focused Family Therapist and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Doors now open for Yelling to Connecting - this week only (Jan 22-Jan 29th) - register or get more info here: https://compassionateheartmindfullife.innovorise.com/yelling-to-connection
I help parents find their inner calm and balance so they can parent peacefully and with confidence.
If you know …
• you are tired of trying to do it all alone.
• or through sheer willpower
Join f...
A Calm Connected Parenting Path for Your New Year
Join Michelle, Mom of 3, Emotionally Focused Family Therapist and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Doors now open for Yelling to Connecting - this week only (Jan 22-Jan 29th) - register or get more info here: https://compassionateheartmindfullife.innovorise.com/yelling-to-connection
I help parents find their inner calm and balance so they can parent peacefully and with confidence.
If you know …
• you are tired of trying to do it all alone.
• or through sheer willpower
Join f...
Repairing After A Rupture with Your Kiddo
Join Michelle, Mom of 3, Emotionally Focused Family Therapist and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Doors now open for Yelling to Connecting - this week only (Jan 22-Jan 29th) - register or get more info here: https://compassionateheartmindfullife.innovorise.com/yelling-to-connection
I help parents find their inner calm and balance so they can parent peacefully and with confidence.
If you know …
• you are tired of trying to do it all alone.
• or through sheer willpower
Join f...
How to Find Play, Connection, and Regulation in Your Parenting
Join Michelle, Mom of 3, Emotionally Focused Family Therapist and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Doors now open for Yelling to Connecting - this week only (Jan 22-Jan 29th) - register or get more info here: https://compassionateheartmindfullife.innovorise.com/yelling-to-connection
I help parents find their inner calm and balance so they can parent peacefully and with confidence.
If you know …
• you are tired of trying to do it all alone.
• or through sheer willpower
Join f...
How Do I Get My Kids to Bed Peacefully?
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Want to learn with Michelle:
Learning about attachment in my work as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, reading Dr. Laura Markham’s, Dr. Daniel Siegel’s books, and finding Hand in Hand parenting all solidified my commitment to parent peacefully.
There was just one problem. It felt impossible at times. When my kids were small, I was easily overwhelmed. Not only did I f...
Self-Compassion: A Secret Ingredient to Calmer Parenting
Join Michelle, fellow parent, Mom of 3, and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Want to learn with Michelle:
Learning about attachment in my work as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, reading Dr. Laura Markham’s, Dr. Daniel Siegel’s books, and finding Hand in Hand parenting all solidified my commitment to parent peacefully.
There was just one problem. It felt impossible at times. When my kids were small, I was easily overwhelmed. Not only did I f...
4 Steps to Escaping the Parenting Shame Spiral
Join Michelle, Mom of 3, Emotionally Focused Family Therapist and recovering yeller, in uncovering what we, as parents, need to parent peacefully, where we get stuck & why.
Doors now open for Yelling to Connecting - this week only (Jan 22-Jan 29th) - register or get more info here: https://compassionateheartmindfullife.innovorise.com/yelling-to-connection
I help parents find their inner calm and balance so they can parent peacefully and with confidence.
If you know …
• you are tired of trying to do it all alone.
• or through sheer willpower
Join f...
