Why She Stayed

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, a nationally recognized clinical psychologist who specializes in narcissistic abuse and relationship trauma. Together, we dive deep into one of the most painful and confusing stages of recovery- learning to detach from the abuser’s narrative.

We explore questions so many survivors wrestle with: Will the abuser change for the next person? Why does it feel like they’re thriving while you’re left in pieces? And most importantly, how can you begin to reclaim your truth after so much manipulation and emotional chaos?

Dr. Ja...

In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Catherine opens up about the years she spent trapped in an abusive marriage marked by emotional abuse, infidelity, and alcohol use by her former spouse. What began as a hopeful relationship spiraled into something she never imagined when she discovered her husband’s shocking attempts to secretly poison her with abortion pills in an effort to end her pregnancy.

With courage and honesty, Catherine shares how she uncovered the truth, the steps she took to protect herself, and the journey toward rebuilding her life after trauma.

To...

In this episode, I’m joined by Wendy as she bravely shares her story of surviving abuse and how it manipulates your sense of duty, love, and identity.

Wendy opens up about how her abuser made her feel responsible for his well-being, and how that emotional weight kept her trapped in a cycle of guilt and silence. We explore why so many survivors feel sorry for the very people hurting them, and how that misplaced empathy is a product of manipulation by the perpetrator.

We also dive into the more subtle and often ov...

In this episode, I sit down with Alissa to talk through the painful reality of surviving not one, but two abusive relationships, and the patterns that emerged between them.

We dive into the emotional and financial toll of being made to feel responsible for the very people who were hurting us. Alissa shares how she was expected to take care of her abusers- emotionally, financially, and even physically, all while her own needs were ignored or weaponized against her.

We talk about:

"I didn't think it could happen to me."

In this deeply personal and courageous episode, Beverly Hallberg — founder and president of District Media Group — shares her powerful story of surviving abuse. What began with subtle glimpses of control eventually unraveled into something much deeper, finally exposed by the unimaginable loss of her baby.

As we acknowledge Domestic Violence Awareness Month this October, Beverly’s story is a vital reminder that abuse often wears a mask - and that mask can be both convincing and devastating. Through her long-form essay and now this conversation, she sh...

This is a solo full Q&A episode where I answer the following questions:

1.) How long did it take for you to no longer feel the need for him to see your worth?

2.) How to not care that you're painted as the villain by abuser?

3.) How do you get over the discard, and how happy they seem to be doing it to you?

4.) How to stop spiraling when they seem to be giving the next partner everything you wanted.

5.) How can one break out of cognitive dissonance when...

Alexis Ruhlen and I discuss life post- abuse as a part 2 episode. We cover topics such as: emotions that come with reporting our abusers to law enforcement, dealing with the opinions of others, survivor imposter syndrome, how long it took us to make progress, and breaking the bond for the final time.

Lex's original podcast episode of her FULL story is episode #18.

If you would like to follow Alexis or I, please see our socials below:

Lex's IG: @lexruhlen

Grace's IG: @gracestuart26

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On this episode, Lynn and I speak about topics such as sadistic behaviors, sexual abuse/ boundary pushing, and how abusers coerce you by giving the illusion of choice. To work with Lynn or send her a message, please see the links below:

Lynn's Website: https://www.echoismrecovery.com/

Lynn's Instagram: theechochamber2024

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On this episode, Monica Smith shares pieces of her abuse story and detailed examples of how an abuser grooms us to no longer trust our own inner dialogue and perceptions. We talk about how they slowly make themselves the only source of truth we feel we can rely on and why it's so hard to believe ourselves.

Monica's Instagram: @monicamooresmith

Monica's Tiktok: @monicamooresmith5

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Taylor shares her abuse story and how her reality became completely distorted and shaken over time. We discuss how she was made to feel like the offender and how she was often recorded, shamed, and blamed as a form of control. We discuss topics of emotional, financial, & sexual abuse throughout the episode.

Guest details will be private for now until further notice.

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On this episode, I am joined by podcast host and abuse recovery coach Laura Richards. Laura is the host of That's Where I'm At Podcast and we dive deep into both the addictive nature of the cycle of abuse and her personal story. We speak about the trauma bond, gaslighting, and abusers who frequently talk to other women as a form of punishment.

If you would like to get in touch with Laura, visit her social media pages:

Instagram: @thatswhereimatpodcast

TikTok: @thatswhereimatpodcast

Podcast: That's Where I'm At Podcast

Nicolette shares about the emotional, psychological, and sexual abuse she faced in her marriage and how minimizing, denying, and blaming made it so hard to see through the fog. We discuss how abusers will often seem very forthcoming and honest about their "past" struggles and use their honesty as a distraction to their current behavior.

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Erin shares her abuse story of enduring physical, emotional, verbal & financial abuse. She describes how her abuser blamed the mistreatment on "stressors" and kept her in a cycle of hoping it was always just about to get better.

Erin's Instagram:

@love_doesnt_destroy

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Sarah shares her story of the many years of abuse she endured throughout her marriage and how spiritual and emotional abuse played a big role in keeping her trapped. She also shares how she navigated with 3 children including one special needs child and how she clung to her faith even when it was used against her as manipulation. Lastly, we discuss when an abuser says they didn't "mean" to hurt us and why it is still intentional abuse.

If you would like to connect with Sarah she has provided her Instagram below:

@hopperbunch4

Christa shares her story of experiencing high forms of covert abuse and how that led to a complete mental breakdown and loss of self. We dive into many examples of manipulation and how she eventually saw through the fog, overcame the confusion, and walked away for good.

If you would like to get in touch with Christa, please see her Instagram below:

@christarealba

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On this episode, Jess shares her story about how abusers can weaponize mental health claims as an excuse to accuse you and gain control in very covert ways. We also discuss how perpetrators who are very charismatic triangulate people around them to feed into the manipulation and lies.

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On this episode, I am joined by trauma therapist and abuse recovery coach- Quinn Padilla. We discuss topics such as what is a "one-off" mistake vs. a pattern, intent vs. action, and how an abuser will attempt to control the narrative.

Get in touch with Quinn:

Instagram: @itsquinnpadilla

Website: https://www.itsquinnpadilla.com/

Grace's socials:

Instagram: @gracestuart26 @whyshestayedpodcast

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On this episode, Tanya shares her domestic violence survivor story and what the aftermath looked like of finally staying gone. We discuss topics such as the strength of a trauma bond, how abuse causes someone to lose themselves over time, emotional & physical abuse, and how she broke free.

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On this episode, I am joined by life coach Bethany Comerford as we discuss red flags in manipulation, why survivors often stay for so long, ways to practically help a loved one, and how grief plays a role even when this person has abused you.

This week we experienced several technical difficulties, but episodes will return to the normal day and pattern over the course of the weeks ahead.

To get in touch with Bethany here are her links:

Website: https://www.positiveconnectionscoaching.com/

Instagram: @bethanylifecoach

Today I am joined by Lindsay Abernathy host of Bitch Is A Bad Word podcast as she shares her personal story of surviving domestic abuse. We discuss topics of love bombing, future faking, how control escalates over time financially, emotionally, physically, and much more. Please see links below to connect with Lindsay or to check out her podcast:

Instagram: @bitchisabadwordpod

Tiktok: @bitchisabadword

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bitch-is-a-bad-word-a-domestic-abuse-survivors-guide/id1780948251

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BitchIsABadWord

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I am honored to have Lundy Bancroft on the show with me to talk about some of the most commonly asked questions surrounding domestic abuse and the mind of the abuser.

Lundy Bancroft is the author of the book "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" as well as many other books and has worked extensively in batterer intervention programs. He has over 30 years of experience working with abusive men and their families and is a leading voice in the field of domestic abuse and advocacy.

<...

On this episode, guest Ashley Maland and I discuss topics such as red flags, why you feel like you cannot leave, abuser's who frequently discard, healing your strong attachments to them, how to trust yourself again, and dating struggles post-abuse.

Ashley's LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/theashleytaylorco

Ashley's Podcast: https://thisiswhereweheal.com/

Grace's Instagram: @gracestuart26

Lundy Bancroft Daily Wisdom Book referenced in today's show: https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Wisdom-Does-That-Encouragement/dp/0425265102

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On this episode, Martha shares her story of enduring an abusive relationship that included many layers of mind games, emotional abuse, triangulation, and coercion. We discuss how abuser's attempt to reverse victim and offender at every turn and cause us to act in uncharacteristic ways the more they break us down.

Martha's Instagram: @marthacgagnon

Grace's Instagram: @gracestuart26

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On this episode, I am re-sharing my story to capture within one episode to discuss topics and themes that may help you recall things from your own experience or make new connections. Thank you to this incredible community and I look forward to this next year to come with all of you!

My Instagram and Resources:

Instagram: @gracestuart26

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

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Morgan shares her story of the constant mix of hot and cold behaviors of her abuser and how she did not know it was abuse for so long. We talk about the infidelity that took place and how victims are gaslit into not trusting the information that is right in front of them. We also speak about how Morgan found the strength to leave while 8 weeks pregnant with their third child and the challenges she faced post- separation.

Morgan's Coaching Page: @consideritjoylifecoach

Morgan's Website: https://www.consideritjoylifecoach.com/

On this episode, I am joined by Courtney Gilmartin who is a legal strategist and protective mom advocating for change in New Jersey & the family court system. We have a general discussion about entering the court system as a mother and provide some practical tips & resources to keep in your toolbox of information.

For further information & support you can check out these links:

NJ Protective Moms - Resource page has A TON of free resources

https://www.njprotectivemoms.org/resources

Holding Hope Foundation - offers scholarships to protective m...

On this episode, Mandy shares her survivor story about how she met her abuser at a young age and was quickly swept into a relationship where possessiveness, monitoring, and the pressure to be "perfect" were constant. We will discuss what made this cycle so confusing and the challenges she faced while leaving including having to record conversations just to keep track of her own memory.

Mandy's TikTok: @m__seale

No Instagram Provided

Grace's Instagram: @gracestuart26

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On this episode, Rose shares her survivor story of navigating an abusive relationship with emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual coercion, escalating physical crossing of boundaries, and leaving with children. She shares how her abuser would use shared- dreams they had of the future to keep her in the cycle including faking change in an attempt to get her to return to the relationship.

If you want to connect with today's guest you can get in touch through her Instagram page: @rooted.and.blooming

Guest's Instagram: @rooted.and.blooming

My Instagram: @Gracestuart26<...

On this episode I am joined by coercive control expert Dr. Emma Katz to break down some of your most commonly asked questions. Dr. Katz is a UK- based domestic violence & coercive control researcher and a Substack Bestseller. During this episode, we discuss topics such as why abusers tend to use emotional abuse & coercive behaviors as their main form of control, examples of why they are doing it on purpose, and how they attack the mother-child relationship.

Dr. Katz Links & Resources:

10 Reasons Why a Coercively Controlling Man is an Unfit Father: https://dremmakatz.s...

On this episode, I am joined by Criminal Behavior Analyst, Laura Richards. Laura is an expert on domestic abuse, coercive control, stalking, sexual violence homicide and risk assessment. She trained at New Scotland Yard and the FBI Behavioral Analysis Units and is an advocate for victims and an author, producer and podcaster. Together, we sit down and discuss the importance of trusting your gut instincts, the reality of coercive control, the Gabby Petitio case, and much more. You can find all of Laura's links below for her podcast, recourses, trainings, and social media pages.

Laura Richards...

On this episode, I am joined by licensed therapist and author Leah Aguirre where we have an open conversation about "hidden" forms of abuse such as frequent criticism, belittling, and making you feel like nothing is ever good enough. We also discuss questions like "why does my abuser's ex say he wasn't abusive" and "how to not get confused when he starts acting nice again". Lastly, we talk about our takeaways from the Gabby Petito case and several other topics.

Leah's Website, Links, & Socials:

Book for pre-order: https://www.barnesandnoble...

On this episode, Naomi shares about the cognitive dissonance she experienced when she was working as a victim crime advocate not realizing that she herself was experiencing coercive control, abuse within her own marriage. We talk about her journey to gain clarity, how she left with children, and her abuser's famous words: "But I never hit you".

Naomi's Instagram: @nar4124

My Instagram: @gracestuart26

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On this Episode, Liadan shares her abuse story and how confusion played a huge role in struggling to break free. We talk about continuous discarding as a form of abuse, triangulation, and how efficiently the abuser will turn the blame back onto you. This episode contains topics of emotional, verbal, & physical abuse.

Liadan's Instagram: @liadanmairegunter

Liadan's Website: https://www.therewiringlens.com/

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Nicole shares her abuse story of a 10+ year relationship/ marriage that included emotional, mental, financial, and escalating physical abuse. We discuss how the constant ups and downs felt like "whiplash" and how she ultimately left while her daughter was only 5 months old.

Guest information will be kept private for now. You can follow me on Instagram @gracestuart26 and Tiktok @gracestuart.

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On this episode I am joined by coercive control expert Dr. Christine Cocchiola. We discuss examples of how abuse can feel both hidden & obvious, how the perpetrator frames you as the "bad" one, & the dynamic when children are involved.

Dr. Cocchiola's website, books, & links:

FRAMED Book: https://narcfreepress.com/

Website: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/

Instagram: @dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol

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Sasha shares her story of how she found herself in an intense cycle of abuse with a man who claimed to be "trauma informed" and emotionally mature, but was actually abusing and causing massive confusion behind closed doors. We talk about feeling like they are your best friend and worst nightmare at the same time, how the stress of abuse affects your physical health, and why couples counseling can make matters worse.

Sasha's Website & Social Media:

www.OurSacredSpaceRiverside.com

Business Instagram: @OurSacredSpaceRiverside

Personal Instagram: @Lunallenawellness

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On this episode, my guest Cory shares her abuse story about how she survived a cycle of fast love bombing, being hurt by the same person who "rescues you", how your body will start to reject them, and how she found the strength to leave with a young child.

Follow Cory's Instagram: @coryannmichel

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During this episode, I will be answering your most commonly asked questions about abuse and healing. We discuss questions such as:

Can abuse be unintentional?

Do I owe my abuser one last conversation?

Best way to deal with the silent treatment

How to stop comparing yourself to the next person they are with

And more.

See more Q&As covered through my Instagram: @gracestuart26

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On this episode, Megan shares her abuse story of how isolation & accusations were slowly introduced, how abusers will put you in lose-lose situations, how it feels like we always need more "proof" to leave them, and how she eventually left for good.

Next episode will air on Tuesday, January 7th.

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