Pleasure in the Pause: Midlife Conversations About Menopause, Sex & Pleasure

Have you ever been told that menopause is when women become invisible?

Years ago, in a doctor’s office in London, Gabriella was handed that story along with her diagnosis. She walked out rejecting it, but those cultural narratives about aging have a way of finding their way back, even when we think we have moved past them.

In this solo episode, Gabriella shares the story of that appointment, what has come up for her since turning 60, and five ways she is learning to become more visible to herself. They are not another list of th...

What would it look like if menopause finally got the stage it deserves?

Not a medical pamphlet. Not a whispered conversation between friends. But a full hour of honest, warm, sometimes funny, and deeply informative storytelling — on public television — where women could watch and finally feel seen. That is exactly what K. LaFleur-Anders built.

In this episode, Gabriella sits down with Keocha LaFleur-Anders, founder of Coffee Milk Media, executive producer and host of The Pause — a new one-hour PBS special bringing together medical experts, personal stories, and real talk about the physical, emotional, and relational shifts...

Have you ever wondered if there is more to orgasm than what you have experienced so far?

Maybe yours feel muted, harder to reach, or further away than they used to. Maybe you have never been quite sure if what you experience counts. Maybe you have been told — by culture, by silence, by your own body — that this chapter is over.

It is not.

In this episode Gabriella sits down with Mangala Holland, somatic sex educator, international orgasm expert, and author of Orgasms Made Easy, for one of the most expansive and practically rich...

Feel like your vagina has betrayed you? Dryness, leaking, painful sex, and orgasms that feel far away. Here's what's really happening to your vagina in menopause, and my six pillars of vulva vitality to help you feel comfortable, confident, and connected to pleasure again.

I'm kicking off World Menopause Month with a little lighthearted humor. Last week, I took the stage at a comedy club in my hometown of Houston for Dr. Susan Hardwick-Smith's The Gathering: Midlife After Dark, and talked about the things we usually keep hidden in shame and silence. In this episode, I take...

Why can friendship feel so different in midlife?

As we change, our friendships change too. Some deepen, some drift, and we may find ourselves craving more meaningful connection with women who understand the season of life we’re in.

In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, Gabriella sits down with Nandita Mahadevan, founder of Sol Women, to explore how we cultivate meaningful female friendships in midlife—and what it takes to create the community we’re looking for.

They talk about friendship, belonging, women’s wellness, and how Nandita is bringing women together...

Most women know the feeling. You say yes. Your body shows up. But some part of you is somewhere else entirely — running through tomorrow's to-do list, waiting for it to be over, checking a box so you will not be expected to again for a week.

It is called duty sex. And it is one of the most common and least talked-about dynamics in long-term relationships.

In this episode for Sexual Health Awareness Month, Gabriella sits down with Dr. Holly Richmond, somatic psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author of Reclaiming Pleasure, for one of the mo...

September is Sexual Health Awareness Month, and this year's World Sexual Health Day theme is Every Body — a reminder that sexual health, pleasure, and intimacy matter at every age and in every body, including our changing midlife bodies.

To kick off the month, Gabriella welcomes Dr. Peter Castillo, a double board-certified urogynecologist and founder of Swan Medical Intimate Wellness in Los Gatos, California. Dr. Castillo is one of the rare physicians who treats pelvic and sexual health not as a side conversation but as central to a woman's overall health and longevity. He is also, refreshingly, a ma...

Gabriella is back from two weeks in Portugal and sitting at her desk, shoulders already creeping up toward her ears, pelvic floor clenching, inbox blinking. September is here. The calendar is filling. And the vacation version of herself is being tested in real time.

But instead of pushing through the tension the way she always has, she pauses. Takes a breath. Softens. And asks herself a question she wants to explore with every woman listening: do I actually need all this tension in order to do the things I am here to do?

In this...

You know her. She shows up every time you go away.

More relaxed. More present. More alive. Laughing more easily, sleeping more deeply, feeling more connected to yourself and to the people you love. And yes, often more open to intimacy too.

She is your vacation self. And the moment you land back home and the suitcase opens, she disappears — absorbed back into the inbox, the to-do list, and the doing mode that swallows everything else.

But here is what Gabriella wants you to know. The vacation version of you is not a di...

Two women. Both champions in the midlife women's health space. Both celebrating their 25th wedding anniversaries in the same summer. And both deeply committed to changing the conversation around intimacy, pleasure, and connection in midlife.

In this episode Gabriella sits in the interviewee seat again, joining Dr. Tina Sogocio, physician and menopause educator, for an Instagram Live conversation about what it actually takes to keep love alive through one of the most destabilizing transitions a woman can go through. This is a conversation between two midlife women comparing notes — on long marriages, on the changes menopause brings to...

This one is a little different. For over 100 episodes Gabriella has been the one asking the questions. This time, Sally Mueller, co-founder and CEO of Womaness, turns the tables. And what comes out of that conversation is one of the most practical and honest discussions this show has ever had about intimate wellness, comfort, and what it actually means to take care of this part of your body.

Womaness is a brand that has been modernizing the conversation around menopause and intimate wellness through education, community, and thoughtfully designed products that support women from head to toe...

For more than 20 years, Robyn Parets lived with chronic illness, anxiety, and a body that always seemed to be fighting something. She saw countless practitioners, tried everything she could find, and kept pushing through — the way high-achieving women do. What she did not understand was that underneath every diagnosis, every symptom, and every exhausting flare was a nervous system that had simply lost its way home.

It was not until she discovered nervous system regulation and somatic breathwork that everything began to shift. Her body remembered what safety felt like. And from that place of safety, real he...

Have you ever found yourself in a meeting, searching for a word that used to come effortlessly, or suddenly losing your train of thought in front of a room full of people? Have you quietly wondered whether you are losing your edge, your confidence, or your ambition — without ever connecting it to what is actually happening in your body?

Menopause does not wait until our careers wind down. It arrives right in the middle of them, when women are leading teams, growing businesses, mentoring others, and stepping into some of the most influential years of their professional li...

When was the last time you asked yourself what you actually want?

For many women, menopause is the first time that question becomes impossible to ignore. The body is changing. Desire is shifting. And relationships that have been running on autopilot for years are suddenly asking to be looked at more honestly.

In this episode, Gabriela sits down with Sari Cooper, AASECT-certified sex therapist and founder of the Center for Love and Sex in New York City, for one of the most expansive and shame-free conversations this show has ever had. Sari explains why menopause...

You know the feeling. You have been going since morning — emails, deadlines, the relentless doing. Your nervous system has been in full output mode for hours. And then evening comes, your partner moves in close wanting to connect, and your body just shuts down. Not because you don't love them. Simply because you have nothing left to give.

If you have ever thought "I want to want, I just can't get there from here" — this episode is for you.

In this solo episode, Gabriella introduces one of the most powerful and underused concepts in relationship scie...

Most women step into perimenopause the same way Gabriela did — in the dark, without language, without a roadmap, and without anyone telling them what was actually happening in their bodies. The anxiety, the brain fog, the rage, the fatigue, the loss of libido — they could feel it all, but they could not make sense of it. Dr. Mariza Snyder felt the same way. Even after 17 years of clinical experience supporting women through this transition.

In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, Gabriela sits down with Dr. Mariza Snyder for one of the most layered and honest conv...

What if the question is not why can't I quit, but what is this doing for me?

In this installment of the Return to Her series, Gabriela sits down with Ashley Kelsch, writer, coach, and somatic practitioner who helps midlife women change their relationship with alcohol and reconnect with themselves. Ashley spent a decade running a sexual wellness shop in Austin, where women quietly confided things in dressing rooms they were not sharing with anyone else — and underneath it all was the same thread. Disconnection from their bodies, their desires, and their needs, often soothed with a gl...

Have you ever lain awake at 3am, heart racing, mind running through a list of worries you cannot seem to turn off? Or maybe it is the opposite — you move through your days flat, numb, going through the motions of a life that looks perfectly fine from the outside while feeling strangely absent from it on the inside.

Both of those states have a name. And neither of them is a personal failing.

In this solo episode, Gabriela shares one of the most foundational concepts in nervous system work — the window of regulation — and explains why un...

What if the brain fog, the broken sleep, the mood swings, the weight that won't budge, and the libido that has gone missing are not a collection of separate problems? What if they are one connected story and the missing piece of that story is your gut?

In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, Gabriela sits down with Cynthia Thurlow, nurse practitioner, bestselling author, and host of the Everyday Wellness podcast, to explore her groundbreaking new book The Menopause Gut: Balance Your Microbiome to Reclaim Your Health in Midlife and Beyond. Cynthia has spent a decade...

Hormone therapy after breast cancer is one of the most nuanced and emotionally charged conversations in women’s health.

For decades, many women have been told the answer is simply: no.

No discussion.
No nuance.
No consideration of quality of life, sexual health, bone health, brain health, or the individual woman sitting in the exam room.

But what does the research actually say?

In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, I welcome back Dr. Susan Hardwick-Smith, board-certified gynecologist and certified menopause practitioner, for a grounded, evidence-informed conversation about ho...

When you hear the word erotic, what comes up for you?

For most of us it immediately conjures images of sex, the taboo, or something forbidden. But eroticism is so much bigger than that. At its core, the erotic is about aliveness. It is our capacity to feel present, connected, awake to beauty, pleasure, desire, creativity, and the experience of being fully in our bodies.

And it is something so many women lose touch with, especially in midlife, when stress, caregiving, hormonal shifts, and the relentless pace of everyday life leave us feeling disconnected from...

What happens when a healthcare professional goes through surgical menopause at 42 and is handed nothing but a message in her patient portal that says "you are post-menopausal"? No education. No discussion. No next steps. Just a diagnosis and silence.

That is exactly what happened to Julie Parana. And even as an occupational therapist who spent her days supporting patients through major health challenges, she found herself doing what so many women do — minimizing her symptoms, pushing through the pain, and waiting far too long to ask for help.

Julie Parana, MS, OTR/L...

There is a version of Mother's Day we all know. The brunches, the bouquets, the Hallmark cards. And then there is the version so many women carry quietly underneath — the grief of a mother who is gone, of never becoming one, of a child lost, of the mother we needed and never had, and the grief of a mother who is still here but already somehow leaving.

This episode of Pleasure in the Pause makes space for that fuller truth. Host Gabriela Espinosa sits down with Rebecca Soffer, co-founder of Modern Loss and bestselling author of the Mo...

Have you ever wondered why intimacy feels harder than it should? Why desire feels distant, or why being fully present in your body during sex feels just out of reach — even when everything else in your life seems fine? Most women in midlife assume it is hormones. And sometimes it is. But sometimes the story runs deeper, back through experiences the body absorbed and quietly held onto.

In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, Gabriella sits down with licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and AASECT certified sex therapist Brooke Bralove for one of the most important co...

This is a milestone episode. Episode 100 of Pleasure in the Pause marks two years of bold, honest conversations about women's bodies, pleasure, and sexual health in midlife — and this one is personal. For the first time, host Gabriela Espinosa steps out from behind the microphone and into the hot seat, interviewed by her friend and fellow midlife health advocate Karen Cerezo.

If you have ever felt dismissed by a doctor, confused by the changes in your body, or quietly assumed that pleasure was something you would just have to let go of in this chapter of life — this...

Have you ever struggled to put words to what you're feeling — in your body, in the bedroom, or even in your doctor's office? You're not alone, and it's not your fault. Most of us were never taught the language of our own bodies, and that silence comes at a real cost: disconnection in intimate relationships, unspoken pain, and leaving healthcare appointments feeling dismissed and unheard.

In this solo episode of Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriela Espinosa explores what intimacy actually requires — not performance, not perfect words, but the ability to sense what's happening inside you and give...

Have you ever been so consumed by someone just out of reach that you checked your phone obsessively, fantasized endlessly, and somehow wanted them even more because they weren't fully available? There's actually a name for it — and in this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, Gabriella sits down with journalist, author, and limerence expert Amanda McCracken to talk about why so many of us get stuck chasing love instead of receiving it.

At the heart of this conversation is a truth so many midlife women are quietly sitting with: we are all longing to be truly se...

Are you approaching a milestone birthday and feeling a mix of excitement and that quiet inner voice telling you to slow down, fade back, or play small? You are not alone — and in this special solo episode of Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa turns 60 and invites you into one of the most honest, tender, and empowering conversations she has ever shared.

This is not a list of anti-aging tips. This is a celebration of what it means to grow into yourself — more rooted, more unapologetic, and more alive than ever — while also being real about the mo...

Have you ever stood in front of your closet full of clothes and thought, what in the world do I wear? Not excited, not inspired, just stuck. In this conversation on Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa sits down with Christine Morrison, renowned journalist and author of Clothes Minded: Fashionable Essays About Finding Yourself, to explore how clothing becomes intertwined with the moments that shape us, from joy and ambition to grief, motherhood, and reinvention. 

This episode explores what it means to open your closet not with pressure but with curiosity, how to dress for the w...

Are you feeling lonely even though you are busy? Wondering where your friendships went when life got so full? This solo episode explores why friendship in midlife is not a luxury but essential to your health and longevity, and gives you five practical ways to build the connections that will carry you into the next chapter of your life.

In this deeply personal solo episode, Gabriella Espinosa shares the story of gathering friends from across the country at her home in Austin for South by Southwest to celebrate turning 60. That weekend reminded her that connection is everything...

Have you been told your weight is your problem and that weight loss is the solution? What if everything you have been taught about the number on the scale, diet, and exercise is not just wrong but actively keeping you from becoming weight healthy? In this conversation on Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa sits down with Ashley Koff, registered dietitian and author of the new book Your Best Shot: The Personalized System for Optimal Weight Health, GLP-1 Shot or Not. Ashley shares her own weight health story, from being bullied as a child for her belly to...

Have you found yourself wondering why your libido has left the bedroom? Or maybe thinking, why does sex feel different now, and why didn't anyone prepare me for this? If you have felt confused, frustrated, disconnected from your body, or quietly worried that midlife and menopause might mean the end of pleasure, this episode is for you. In this conversation on Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa welcomes back Dr. Maria Sophocles, board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist, menopause specialist, sexual counselor, and author of the new book The Bedroom Gap: Rewrite the Rules and Roles of Sex in Midlife. Together, they...

If you're a woman in your 50s or 60s who has been doing all the right things, eating well, moving your body, managing stress, and yet you still find yourself wondering if there is more you could be doing to protect your health for the long run, this episode is for you. 

In this conversation on Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa sits down with Dr. Noor Al-Humaidhi, a board-certified family physician, menopause specialist, and founder of Lifestyles by Noor, to build what Gabriella calls the Midlife Vitality Blueprint.

 This is not about living lo...

What if the silence you've been keeping in your relationship is actually one of the most costly things you've ever done? In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa sits down with licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized relationship expert Colette Jane Fehr, author of The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love. Together, they explore why so many midlife women silence their needs in relationships, how conflict avoidance quietly erodes intimacy and wellbeing, and what it actually takes to speak your truth in a way that creates deeper connection...

What if the most important love story you nurture this Valentine's Week isn't with a partner, but with yourself? In this conversation on Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa sits down with Amy St. Germain, founder of Oboo, a pleasure-forward wellness brand creating tools designed specifically for midlife bodies. 

This episode is a shame-free exploration of self-pleasure as self-care, the health benefits of vibrators for midlife women, and why desire doesn't disappear as our bodies change. Whether you're navigating dryness, decreased sensitivity, or simply want to reclaim pleasure on your own terms, this conversation reminds you t...

What happens when your child's mental health crisis becomes your entire world and you quietly lose yourself in the process? In this debut episode of Return to Her, a new monthly series on Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa sits down with lifestyle host and midlife influencer Lizzie Bermudez for an honest conversation about walking through over three years of her daughter's mental health struggles while putting her own life completely on hold.

Lizzie shares what it felt like to be her daughter's primary caretaker in survival mode, how she navigated the isolation and stigma surrounding...

Have you ever looked at your long-term partner and wondered: Is this still the connection I want? Who are we now? Can we feel close again? If you've reached midlife and found yourself in a relationship that feels more like roommates than lovers, if the spark has faded and you're not sure how to reignite it, or if you're navigating the dating world again after years away, this episode is for you.

Gabriella Espinosa sits down with Dr. Justin Garcia. Dr. Garcia brings decades of research to answer the questions many midlife women are asking: Why do...

When you look in the mirror, what's the first story you tell yourself about your body? If you're like most midlife women, that internal dialogue is often rooted in criticism, comparison, and the relentless pressure to "fix" an aging body that was never broken in the first place.

In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa sits down with registered dietitian and body image coach Deb Benfield to explore how internalized ageism and diet culture keep us disconnected from our bodies—and what it takes to reclaim body trust, pleasure, and freedom in midlife an...

Are you doing all the "right things" for your menopause symptoms—hormone therapy, nutrition, exercise, stress management—but still not feeling like yourself? 

In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriela Espinosa welcomes back licensed psychotherapist Ashley Turner for a groundbreaking conversation about psychedelic-assisted therapy and microdosing as complementary support during the menopause transition.

Ashley Turner is a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, yoga/meditation teacher, and founder of Yoga Psyche Soul, specializing in integrating Eastern spiritual practices with Western psychology (depth, shadow, and somatic psychology, women's mental health) for 25 years. After her own i...

Are you experiencing low libido, loss of sexual desire, or intimacy challenges during perimenopause or menopause? In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriela Espinosa joins Dr. Anna Cabeca on The Girlfriend Doctor Show to share her deeply personal story of sexual awakening during midlife. 

Together, they address one of the most common yet rarely discussed symptoms of perimenopause: the complete loss of sexual desire. Gabriela opens up about how her libido plummeted overnight, leaving her without the language to describe what was happening—and the transformative journey that led her to become a sexual wel...