Stoic Coffee Break

Far too often we’re never really in the moment. Maybe we’re stuck ruminating in the past over what we wished would have happened, or projecting out into the future our hope of what will happen. Maybe we distract ourselves with our phones, with entertainment, or alcohol or drugs. Anything that can relieve boredom or the discomfort of our present reality. But what if you leaned into that boredom? What if embracing discomfort is the key to really experiencing your life?

In this episode I want to about the importance of being present in your own life...

Can two things be true at the same time? Can you hold two opposing ideas at the same time? Today I want to talk about how learning be be comfortable with opposites can widen your thinking and help you see reality a little more clearly.

"The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth." — Niels Bohr

There's a moment most of us know but rarely name. You're sitting with something — a relationship, a decision, a feeling — and two things are true at the...

Are you motivated by fear? What if that fear is actually at the root of why you’re not getting the results you’re going after? In this week’s episode I want to talk about how to stop fear from sabotaging your best work.

“What I advise you to do is, not to be unhappy before the crisis comes; since it may be that the dangers before which you paled as if they were threatening you, will never come upon you; they certainly have not yet come." — Seneca

The Problem

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Do you need therapy in order to have a good life? What is the difference between therapy and philosophy? Today I want to discuss the differences and how you need to right tools to build a good life.

“We should not use philosophy like a herbal remedy, to be discarded when we're through. Rather, we must allow philosophy to remain with us, continually guarding our judgements throughout life, forming part of our daily regimen, like eating a nutritious diet or taking physical exercise.”

― Musonius Rufus

A few years ago, a friend of mine called...

Do you have a clear picture of the person you want to become? And what happens when you fall short of that person — not once, but again and again? Today I want to talk about what you should do when you fall short of reaching your ideal self.

“Give yourself fully to your endeavors. Decide to construct your character through excellent actions and determine to pay the price of a worthy goal. The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths.”

— Epictetus

There's a particular kind of disappointment that comes with self-improvement. It's not...

THE PROBLEM

Are you too busy? Are you working too hard to be productive with every minute of your time? In today’s episode I want to talk about the perils of over-optimizing your life, and what the Stoics had to say about managing your time.

“So, concerning the things we pursue, and for which we vigorously exert ourselves, we owe this consideration – either there is nothing useful in them, or most aren't useful. Some of them are superfluous, while others aren't worth that much. But we don't discern this and see th...

In today’s media environment do you know how to think well? How do you know who to trust? Today we’re going to talk about how Stoicism can help you to think critically about what you consume, and how be skeptical without being cynical.

“You become what you give your attention to…If you yourself don't choose what thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone else will.” — Epictetus

ACT 1 — THE PROBLEM

When was the last time you read a headline and immediately trusted it? Not skeptically clicked through to check — just <...

How often do you put things off? Why do you put things off that you know you should do?  Maybe waiting for circumstances to be just right before you make a change? In this week’s episode we’re going to dive a deeper into why put things off, and what you can do to build momentum, and move forward.

“It is not that we have a short space of time, but that we waste much of it. Life is long enough, and it has been given in sufficiently generous measure to allow the accomplishment of the very gr...

How do you stop worrying about what others think of you? Is worrying ever useful? Can Stoics be ambitious? How can I actually do what I know I should?

In this week's episode I answer some of your questions through the lens of Stoicism.

"It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own."

— Marcus Aurelius

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What if the thing you've been quietly doing your whole life — the thing that feels almost too easy to count — is actually your greatest gift to the world?

And what is it costing you to keep holding it back?

"If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don't hoard it. Don't dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke."

— Brendan Francis

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How do you get back up when too many things in life hit you all at once? How do you get your momentum back when it feels like every step is like wading through molasses? Today I want to talk about how Stoicism and friendship can find your balance and get moving again when life knocks you off your feet.

When you have been compelled by circumstances to be disturbed in a manner, quickly return to yourself and do not continue out of tune longer than the compulsion lasts.
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations VI.11

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How do you make a decision when all the choices in front of you feel like bad ones? Today I want talk about how Stoicism can help us take action when faced with impossible choices. 

“What should we have ready at hand in a situation like this? The knowledge of what is mine and what is not mine, what I can and cannot do.”

— Epictetus, Discourses I, 1.21

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Is Stoicism all about being strong and serious? Is it too pessimistic and always looking for where things can go wrong, where the next challenge or struggle is? Today I want to talk about the softer side of Stoicism, and how many of the tools the Stoics teach us can actually lead us to joy.

“To live happily is an inward power of the soul.” 

— Marcus Aurelius

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Why does virtue matter in leadership? What happens to a community, a city, a country when there is lack of virtue in leadership? In this episode we’re going to discuss power, leadership, and why virtue matters.

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." 

— Abraham Lincoln

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Why is it important to resist and stand up against injustice? What happens when we don’t stand up to injustice? Today we'll explore why virtue is necessary, what the Stoics taught about resistance, and how to actually practice moral courage in your daily life.

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." 

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 6.6

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Are you living the life you want? Are you waiting for something to happen to push you into becoming the hero of your own story? In this episode I want to talk about why we fear stepping into greatness, and how you can be your own hero.

“Every difficulty in life presents us with an opportunity to turn inward and to invoke our own submerged inner resources. The trials we endure can and should introduce us to our strengths...Dig deeply. You possess strengths you might not realize you have. Find the right one. Use it.” 

— E...

Do you approach a problem from only one perspective? Are there ways that you could expand your understanding and incorporate different perspectives? Today I want to talk about the power of multi-perspective thinking and how it can help you dig deeper into challenges in your life.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”

—Marcus Aurelius

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Can you stay calm in the storm? Or do you let your emotions cloud your judgment, leading to poor decisions? Today I want to talk about the Stoic concept of ataraxia and how it can help you be more mentally tough.

“Don't hope that events will turn out the way you want, welcome events in whichever way they happen: this is the path to peace.”

— Epictetus, Enchiridion 8

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At the end of the year is always a good time to step back and think about the year to come. Maybe you have some goals that you want to accomplish. Maybe get in better shape and eat better or pick up a new skill. But have you thought about what kind of attributes you want in the next year? In this episode I give you some words of advice of how to approach the new year.

“Things do not touch the soul, for they are external and remain immovable; so our perturbations come only from our in...

What do you believe about yourself? Do you have beliefs that keep from stepping into your true self? Today I want to talk about self-beliefs and how the ideas that we hold about ourselves might just be your biggest obstacle to becoming who you want to be.

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."

— Lao Tzu

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Love is the greatest thing in the world. We're all trying to build relationships that enrich our lives. But can Stoicism help us love better? Today I want to talk about how Stoicism can help you be a more loving person.

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart." —Marcus Aurelius

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What do you invest your attention in? Are you investing in things that enrich your life or keep you distracted? Today I want to talk about the importance of attention and what it’s costing you.

“You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last...

In this week's episode I answer questions from my listeners. I give my thoughts on practicing temperance in everyday life, practicing self-forgiveness, and how to deal with the chaos in the world.

As always, please feel free to let me know of questions or topics you'd like me to answer in future episodes.

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Anger is a powerful force in the world, but the effects of anger often cause greater harm than the cause of it. Many see anger as a necessary emotion for human survival, but the Stoics warned us against anger, calling it a "temporary madness". 

In my personal life, anger has been a recurring theme since childhood. I've worked hard to overcome the trauma from childhood, as well as my own anger, having been caught up in that temporary madness more times than I'd like to admit.

But is anger necessary? Is anger an emotion or a...

What do you value in this life? Maybe your home? Your job? Your family? But do you value yourself? Today I want to talk about the importance of self-value and how Stoicism can help you find the treasure within.

"Do not degrade your own soul; it will soon be out of your power to bring it to honor. The life of each of us is but a moment, and this one is almost finished, and yet you do not respect yourself."

— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 3.6

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Have you ever wondered about how your emotional well being is connected to your body? In this week's episode, I interview therapist and host of the Stuck Not Broken podcast, Justin Senseri about polyvagal theory and how it inter-relates to Stoicism. 

Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach who thinks the world needs a new understanding of mental health - one that's simplified, easily accessible for anyone, and doesn't rely on abstract psychobabble or woo-woo.

You can check out Justin's podcast here: Stuck Not Broken

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What does it mean to be a man? How do our perceptions and ideas about masculinity hinder men from living full and happy lives? Today we’re going to dive into how Stoicism can help us develop a more healthy definition of masculinity.

"We teach boys that being vulnerable is being weak. And then we wonder why men die of loneliness surrounded by people."

—Terry Real

Feeling Wheel - This is a great interactive app!

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This week's episode is an interview with Dr. Scott Waltman PsyD. Dr. Scott Waltman, PsyD, ABPP, is a clinician, international trainer, and practice-based researcher. His interests include evidence-based psychotherapy practice, training, and implementation in systems that provide care to underserved populations. He is president-elect of both the Academy of Cognitive & Behavioral Therapies and  the International Association of Cognitive Behavioral Therapies. He is board certified in Behavioral and Cognitive Psychology from the American Board of Professional Psychology. Dr. Waltman, worked as a CBT trainer for one of Dr. Aaron Beck’s CBT implementation teams in the Philadelphia public mental health sys...

 The Stoics talk a lot about virtue as the sole good. Now what do they mean by virtue and why did they think that it was so important? In this week's episode, I'm reading another chapter from my book, Stoicism 101.

“Of things some are good, some are bad, and others are indifferent. The good then are the virtues and the things which partake of the virtues: the bad are the vices, and the things which partake of them; and the indifferent are the things which lie between the virtues and the vices: wealth, health, life, death, pleasure, pain...

Do you have good habits? Do you have some you’d rather get rid of? What if I told you that by developing one key skill, you’ll be able to adopt better habits and let go of unhelpful ones? In this weeks episode we’re going to talk about the one “meta-habit” you need to develop in order to make real changes in your life.

The Meta-Habit: The One Skill For Building Better Habits

"I will form good habits and become their slave." —Og Mandino

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Have you ever found yourself stuck in a way of thinking that you knew deep down wasn’t serving you? Maybe it was an assumption about someone, a stubborn belief, or an emotional reaction. The good news is that our minds are built for self-correction—if we know how to use them. 

“If anyone can prove and show to me that I think and act in error, I will gladly change it—for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed.” — Marcus Aurelius (Meditations, 6.21)

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Do you ever feel like life is happening to you, and that you’re at the whim of circumstances? What would it feel like if you could take what life hands you and say, “Thank you sir! May I have another?” In this week’s episode I’m going to be reading another chapter from my book, Stoicism 101, where I write about dealing with external events.

“Look within, for within is the wellspring of virtue, which will not cease flowing, if you cease not from digging.”

—Marcus Aurelius

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Have you ever had put a dream to the side? What if that dream was the key to finding the thing that fulfilled you as a person? In this week's episode I interview author and speed racer, Louisa Swaden, about Stoicism, racing motorcycles, and how it's never too late to chase your dreams.

You can find out more about Louisa and her book The Stoic Rider at http://www.existentialbiker.com

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Are you mentally tough? Are you able to take what life dishes out and keep smiling? Today I want to talk about mental toughness and how you can develop the right kind of toughness while being flexible to life changes.

“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.”

—Seneca

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Do you ever feel like you’re stuck? Like things aren’t going bad but aren’t moving in the right direction either? Today I want to talk about being stuck and what to do to get things moving in the right direction.

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”

—Epictetus Discourses, 3.23

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This week's episode is a chapter from my book, Stoicism 101. It's the chapter about Seneca the Younger, one of the most famous Stoic philosophers and writers.  Seneca is remembered as one of the most popular stoic philosophers, partly because a lot of his writings survived and were passed through antiquity. But how much do you know about Seneca? Well, in this episode, you're going to learn some more about this colorful and interesting man and his lasting influence on stoicism.

“Men do not care how nobly they live, but only for how long, although it is within the...

This week I dive into philosophy, life, music, and addiction with my friend Derrick Zaworski. Derrick is a music producer and owner of Road Tripping Records. Derrick and I have been friends for several years and we've always enjoyed deep and interesting conversations, so I thought it would be worthwhile to get one of those conversations on record. I hope you enjoy!

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Do you ever think about your future self? How would your choices in the present change if you took the time to consider those choices would impact future you? Today I want to talk about the power of getting to know the future you.

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” — Epictetus

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Do we have free will or are we destined to our fate? Do the Stoics believe that we have free will or are our lives pre-determined? Does is matter? Today I’m going to talk about the Stoic ideas behind free will and fate, and how it does or doesn’t impact our lives.

 “Lead me, Fate, wherever you will, and I will cheerfully follow. For even if I kick and wail, all the same I must follow.” —Cleanthes

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What if I told you that the thing you’re avoiding… is exactly the thing you need most? Today we’re going about why comfort might be the biggest lie we believe, and how leaning into resistance can actually be the path to everything you want.

“The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.” 

― Confucius

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