Dear Hank & John
Hosts John and Hank Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the fourth-tier English football club).
463: I’ve Signed More Books Than God
Why do we say “you’re welcome” in response to “thank you”? What habits and traits have Hank and John copied from each other? How do I use social media to connect with people without falling into doomscrolling? What do I do with my extra copies of “Hollywood, Ending”? Is lightning the same on other planets? What is ANZ? How did birds survive the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Is a field of grass one organism or many? …Hank and John Green have answers!
This was recorded July 29th!
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462: Socialist Ants
How do I make my sea anemones fight each other? Do I have a personality? Will I be reincarnated as an alien? How should I support my author friend? How do I fight imposter syndrome? How can I help Sierra Leone? Which Premier League team should I support? Can I still enjoy reading with a newborn baby? …Hank and John Green have answers!
This episode was recorded July 22nd!
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461: Fun Facts to Combat the Horrors (w/ MB Ramirez!)
Were there islands around during Pangea? Are there fossils under the ice in Antarctica? What is your favorite fun fact? What will happen to our satellites after humans are gone? What is the most recent species to have evolved? What ecosystems is Earth lacking now that it used to have in the past? …Hank and MB have answers!
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460: Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board
Hank has been tweeting a lot recently; is he okay? How does the game “light as a feather, stiff as a board” work? Are bald heads warmer or cooler than hairy heads? What is the lethal dose of pickles? Will John write me into his acknowledgements? How do probiotics work? Why did John write a book for adults? How do you get out of a writer’s rut? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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459: Electric Meat (w/ Kal McRaven!)
Has poop always been funny? Why does my cake mix have high altitude instructions? What breakfast foods won’t you get sick of? What percent of my car should be computer? …Hank and Kal have answers!
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458: Ancient vs. Hyper-Mortal (w/ Paige Lewis!)
Will John release a “John’s Version” of his books like Taylor Swift? How do I start writing again? What can I look forward to in adulthood? How long does it take love to go to the sun and back? Where does our responsibility to ourselves end and our responsibility to others begin? …Paige and John have answers!
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457: Big Ball Curators
How do I best support someone trying to quit smoking? Why do migraines create such strange symptoms? Why are dead people and animals in cartoons often depicted with Xs for eyes? What do I do with a headstone in my backyard that is from the 1800s? How should I display all my nerdfighter memorabilia? Do ducks have ears? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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456: Talking About a Book No One Can Read
Why is the healing process always so itchy? Why are the acknowledgements usually cut out of audio books? How do I find time for writing as a busy and exhausted parent? When you look out an airplane window, why don’t the clouds look like they’re going by fast? How do I keep loving the media I love when it is being criticized online?
…Hank and John Green have answers!
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Jumping Pews
Hank interviews John in the first episode of his new podcast, Humans! They talk about why John's worried about Hank, why being in favor of humans is now counter-cultural, how John's seminary training might have helped the brothers' internet success, and what Mark Twain has to do with any of it. You’ve heard them interact before — but not like this.
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455: The Grocery Store Baseball Theory
Why can you see the outline of the full moon during a crescent moon? What do I do with a surplus of basil plants? How do I make amends with my mom? How do light particles not bump into each other and mess up their trajectories? Are Hank and John aware of how American they are? What do I do with my tongue at the dentist? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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454: Flippin’ Heck
How do I adjust to a new school? Are ducks up to something? Why are puzzles so satisfying? Do ocean mammals drink salt water? How did Hank come up with 2D glasses? If the sun disappeared, would earth eventually find another star to orbit? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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453: Nobody Is as Good as Me
Why is it so hard to do things? What’s next for Nerdfighteria? Do our brains know when our limbs fall asleep? Is it possible for a mirror to have never been used? Do John and Hank purchase each other's books in stores? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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452: The Brotherhood is Broken
Do humans have instincts? Why are there so many “French” foods? How do I introduce Formula 1 fans to the Indy 500? Why does beautiful music give me goose bumps? What’s the difference between Hank Green and Tom Hanks? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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451: We’re Synced, Baby!
Do Americans not like trains? What do I do with all my files? How can I make camp memorable? What happened to my town’s clouds? When did the concept of a weekend start? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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450: Diet Coke is Tea (w/ Keith Habersberger!)
What is a word like “vegetarian” to describe a person who does not willingly want to consume AI-generated content? How do you avoid doomspiraling when trying to reconnect with your creativity? What’s the tastiest drink? Why do banks always tell you what the temperature is outside? Do I need to get a checkbook? What book should I read? Why are parking lot sunsets so beautiful and particularly, why are Meijer parking lots? How can I convince my friends who are visiting that it is a better place to see the sunset than over Lake Michigan?…Hank and John Green ha...
449: It Will Go Well And It Will End (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)
How do I overcome my fear of performance art? How do I visit an art museum properly? How do I speak about my own work without feeling like a total fartface? Do I pursue my dreams or pursue something practical? How do I come to terms with the fact that I depend on receiving attention and praise for my work? How does a person get real art for their home? Can you help me get out of a creative rut? How did you both balance creativity and parenting when you were new parents? …Sarah and John Green have answers!
...448: Doogie Howser, Boy Chaplin
If you had to choose one person to represent our planet in an interplanetary meeting, who would it be? How do you make an elopement still feel special? Why do I have to take math classes? What would you include in a museum to educate people alive in 2070 about what it was like to be alive in the 2020s? Why do you see weird shapes when you rub your eyes? Is an alligator a fish? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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...447: Everything Is Over
What do you do with a check once it’s deposited? How does Vitamin D work? When someone compliments my necklace, is there a concise way of saying it’s cremation jewelry and contains the ashes of my grandpas (plural)? What should I do in my free time? How do glow in the dark stickers work? What’s up with teeth? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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446: Just Chatting… With Me
Where does bubblegum flavor come from? Why do our voices change as we get older? Why does moving suck? Can a stump go on living once the top of its tree has been cut off? What are some ways to find a third space and be part of a community? What can I do to not be so nervous speaking in class? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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445: Bring Me My Favorites
Can I get an MRI or go through TSA without setting off alarms after getting a knee replacement? Would chugging a hardcore energy drink kill a medieval peasant? What was the go-to mini-break activity before doom-scrolling? What happened to Soggy Pitch? Where should I bring my parents in Amsterdam? Did you have to face excruciating conversations with your parents when you were teens? How do things survive in the deepest parts of the ocean? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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444: Hank Brown
Why are humans not transparent? If you lived on a moon, would you know it? What did cavemen dream about? How does Good Store work with other companies? How do you deal with the grief of having limited time left with your parents? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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443: A Top Podcast for the Elderly
Why do I have the desire to rebel against my parents? Why does pen on paper fade over time? Do we make new water? What is the scent of soaps and why do I want to eat it? How should I reveal that I can do the splits? Has there been any updates regarding Stars on Mars? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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442: They’ve Been Plants the Whole Time
Do you ever wonder if a listener question comes from a celebrity? Why are most metals gray? Why does holding a baby silence the worry? How do you decide what to do after school? Can moles convert CO2 to Oxygen? How do you deal with grief? How do potatoes know which way is up? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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441: The Value of a Single Shoe
How has your relationship with your audience changed? What’s a good lie to tell my coworkers about my butt surgery? Has anyone ever tasted the moon? What’s the highest altitude we have ever recorded a cloud? How long do I have to sit in the bath to touch every molecule of water? What is the value of a single shoe? How do I handle the information that we might live in a black hole? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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440: Barreling Ever Forward
Can you paint in space? What does “48 business hours” mean? Why is everyone asking me about aliens? How do you deal with the ever-present weight of nostalgia? What happens if you throw a ball while skydiving? Why do humans like stickers? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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439: Division I Saint
What is a patron saint? Do we all get eaten? How do flames decide where to go? How do trees stay standing? What happened to Hank’s hair? How do doctors decide where the needles go? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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438: The 2014 Episode
What happened to John in 2014? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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437: Mouse Relay Intercept
What would you want your clickbait title to be? What is a face? Why is an MRI so loud? Could Rome actually be built in a day? What is going on with the design of traffic lights? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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436: The Kelce Green Brother Bowl Brawl
Can one physically de-escalate? Are my hands actually colder than other parts of my body? Why can I see my veins so well? What would the internet look like if it was a 3D space? How do I know if I’m doing enough for my students? What would it feel like to be hit by a gravitational wave? How do we know the distance between the Earth and the Sun? Do squirrels get bored? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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435: So Much Idea in That Idea
Do we sweat the same way vegetables do? What should I do if a billionaire sits down at my dinner table? How do I feel sane in today’s world? Can you please tell my twelve year old son to go to sleep? How did we decide the geological time scales? When were chairs invented? How does John manage his fear of TB contamination? What is Salinger-ing? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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434: Curt’s Fleas
Why don’t John and Hank live in the same state? Where does the chapstick go after I apply it? When my phone runs out of battery, why can't I plug it in and immediately use it? If aliens landed on Earth long after the sun has died, would there still be signs of former human life? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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433: Making the Ice
Why are there so few left-handed people? Can people do things on instinct alone? Why haven’t babies evolved to sleep through the night? We’ve heard of ice breakers, but what are some ice makers? How do I decide if I should have kids? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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432: Turtetiquette
Who is responsible for the ridiculous pet names from John and Hank’s childhood? Any tips on how to cope with pre-wedding stress? Can you explain snot? What is turtle etiquette? What organs do you actually need? What would happen if the oceans were 50% less salty? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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431: The Complicated Dust of Earl Tupper
How can I eat blocks of moldy cheese and it be delicious, but if I eat a moldy sandwich I die? Are there any experiences from the past 12 years that have shaped your current self? How do I make doing dishes less horrible? Is “up to 100% leak proof” some sort of marketing legal lingo? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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430: A Yawn Across Time
Would it be harder to swim in lava or water? Why do I have one long white hair that grows from my face cheek? What would the stars look like if I were moving faster than light, like the Enterprise in Star Trek? What role do John and Hank play with Partners In Health? How does gravity impact digestion? What is the longest length of time a yawn has been spread? Why is everything so hard? Can you quell my fears about AI? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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429: The Mouse Layer
Why don’t ants drown when it rains? Why is my car covered in bees? How do I balance a profession I love with wanting to have a life outside of work? Why is it easy to put my feet in water, but it’s uncomfortable to get my shoulders in water? How do I help my child navigate questions and fears about religion? Is the “membership rate” in A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor based on a valid economic theory or is it just a plot device? I accidentally walked into my neighbor’s dorm, do I have to go back and a...
428: Hard Pivot to Balls
If humanity is around long enough, could another species evolve to look like us to deter predators? What did people do when they woke up before the existence of phones? What’s your favorite replacement for a swear word? How do purple baby carrots exist? How do I cope with the end of childhood? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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427: Ghosts to Fix the Housing Crisis
Do dogs have a preferred direction to chase their tail in? Why do we put the dollar sign before the number? Why don’t we have a word for “dying of thirst”? How do I approach public notoriety? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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426: The Hank Green Twitter Memorial Garden
If John and Hank had to name something after each other, what would it be? Could a balloon make it to space? Are athletes offended by how we talk about them? Does a Bloody Mary actually help a hangover? Why do dogs smell like that when they’re wet? Do John and Hank watch each other's videos? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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425: The Deal With Airports
When did Hank decide to start going by “Hank”? Why do we have to die? Should I point out to my friend that they missed my birthday? What is your airport advice? Who is driving Saturn? …Hank and John Green have answers!
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