Counseling Talk — A podcast by 9Marks
A podcast by 9Marks, with Garrett Kell, Hayley Satrom, and Deepak Reju.
On Pre-Marital Part 1: 8 Things that Pastors Need to Consider (Ep. 57)
Deepak, Hayley and Garrett discuss 8 things that every pastor and couple should consider with premarital counseling.
On Getting Engaged: 8 Myths About Engagement (Ep. 56)
Deepak, Hayley and Garrett discuss 8 myths about Engagement.
Resources:
Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung
Pre-Engagement: Five Questions to Ask Yourselves by David Powlison
Preparing for Engagement by Mike McKinley
On Dating Part 7: On Breaking Up for the Glory of God (Ep. 55)
Deepak Hayley and Garrett talk about what to do and what not to do when you break up.
Resources:
Who Should I Date? Relationship Advice in a Real World by William P. Smith
Starting Over: How Not to Screw Up Your Relationship by William P. Smith
On Dating Part 6: On Six “Things that Go Wrong in a Dating Culture” (Ep. 54)
Deepak, Haley and Garrett discuss things that go wrong in a dating church culture.
Resources:
Single and Lonely by Jayne Clark
Struggling Through Your Singleness by Jayne Clark
On Dating Part 5: Interview with Marshall Segal (Ep. 53)
Garrett, Deepak and Hayley interview Desiring God ministries President & CEO Marshall Segal on his book “Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating.
Resources:
Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating
On Dating Part 4: Assessment (13 Fs) (Ep. 52)
Deepak, Garrett and Hayley talk about 13 F's that help you to assess your dating relationship.
Resources:
13 Fs Dating Assessment PDF
Disclosing Past Sexual Sin in a Dating Relationship by Garrett Kell
On Dating Part 3: Affection (Ep. 51)
Deepak, Hayley and Deepak about about what the Bible says on physical and emotional intimacy.
On Dating Part 2: Alignment (Ep. 50)
Garrett, Deepak and Hayley talk about ALIGNMENT in dating. How do you move from an informal to a more formal relationship?
Resources MentionedShe’s Got the Wrong Guy: Why Smart Women Settle by Deepak Reju
On Dating Part 1: Appreciation and Attraction (Ep. 49)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak start season 4 with a conversation about dating, starting with the role of appreciation and attraction.
On How to Use Homework Part 2 (Ep. 48)
Deepak, Hayley and Garrett talk about using Scripture as homework.
Resources Mentioned:
31-Day Devotionals for Life (Series)
Workbooks and resources from Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation
On How to Use Homework Part 1 (Ep. 47)
Deepak, Hayley and Garrett talk about the importance of homework and how and when to assign it in counseling. Sounds boring but it’s more important than you might realize!
Resources Mentioned
Good and Angry by David Powlison
On Sexual Sin with Ellen Dykas (Ep. 46)
Garrett, Deepak and Hayley interview Ellen on a woman’s battle with sexual sin.
Resources MentionedSexual Sanity for Women by Ellen DykasSex and the Single Girl by Ellen DykasYour Dating Relationship and Your Sexual Past by Ellen DykasWhat’s Wrong with a Little Porn? (single version) – Harvest USAWhat’s Wrong with a Little Porn? (married version) – Harvest USAHarvest USA
On Helping Singles Fight for Purity (Ep. 45)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak offer ten thoughts for singles on why and how to fight for purity.
Resources Mentioned:
Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God by Garrett Kell
Pornography: Fighting for Purity by Deepack Reju
Single and Lonely: Finding the Intimacy You Desire by Jayne Clark
Struggling Through Singleness: Help for the Journey by Jane Clark
On Medications (Ep. 44)
Deepak, Hayley, and Garrett talk about the good and bad about medications and working with doctors.
Resources MentionedDescriptions and Prescriptions by Michael EmletListening to Prozac…and to the Scriptures Article by Michael EmletCan We Be Positive About Psychiatric Medications? Article by Ed WelchWhy do we seem negative about psychiatric medications? Article by Ed Welch
Ed Welch on Depression (Ep. 43)
Deepak, Hayley and Garrett interview counselor and author Ed Welch about the experience of depression and how to minister to those who suffer from it.
Depression Part 3 (Ep. 42)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak share how to care for a friend struggling with depression.
Resources MentionedDepression: Finding Christ in the Darkness by Ed Welch (31-day Devotional)
Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness by Ed Welch
“Tortured, Imperfect, and Held by Jesus” – article by Garrett Kell
Depression Part 2 (Ep. 41)
Hayley, Deepak and Garrett talk about depression and how to think about depression as complicated suffering.
Resources Mentioned
Depression: Finding Christ in the Darkness by Ed Welch (31-day Devotional)
Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness by Ed Welch
“Tortured, Imperfect, and Held by Jesus” – article by Garrett Kell
On Depression Part 1 (Ep. 40)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak talk about what the Bible says about depression. Warning label: This episode also talks about a depressed person’s battle with suicide.
Resources Mentioned
Depression: Finding Christ in the Darkness by Ed Welch
Spurgeon’s Sorrows by Zack Eswine
On How to Apologize (Ep. 39)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak talk about how to offer a good or bad apology and why we struggle to apologize.
Resources Mentioned
The Peacemaker by Ken Sande
On Anger, with Chris Moles (Ep. 38)
Garrett, Deepak and Hayley interview pastor and counselor Chris Moles, who says you can’t bully a bully. You change a person’s anger with kindness, compassion and forgiveness.
Resources Mentioned
Uprooting Anger by Robert D. Joneshttps://www.chrismoles.orghttps://www.menofpeace.org
On Anger Part 3 (Ep. 37)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak explore redemptive strategies for dealing with anger problems and growing in faith in Christ.
Books Mentioned
Anger: Calming Your Heart (31-Day Devotional) by Robert D. JonesA Small Book for The Anxious Heart by Edward T. WelchThe Peacemaker by Ken SandeWar of Words by Paul David Tripp
Other Resources
"Moving Toward, Away and Against" Chart (This chart is from the CCEF Marriage Counseling course taught by Winston Smith, 2010)Bible Verses on Anger
On Anger Part 2 (Ep. 36)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak talk about how people change when they're wrestling with anger. What should we believe, say, think and do if we want to overcome our anger.
Resources mentioned:
The Heart of Anger by Steve Midgley and Christopher Ash
Angry Children: Understanding and Helping Your Children Regain Control by Mike Emlet (Booklet)
On Anger Part 1 (Ep. 35)
Garrett, Deepak and Hayley introduce the topic of anger and reflect on their own struggles and encounters with it. They explore the complexity of anger—how it can be both righteous and sinful, hot and cold. The discussion sets the foundation for upcoming episodes on addressing and counseling anger in a Christ-centered way.
Resources mentioned:
Good and Angry by David Powlison
Controlling Anger (Mini-book) by David Powlison
Uprooting Anger by Robert D. Jones
The Heart of Anger by Christopher Ash & Steve Midgley
Anger: Escaping The Maze (Mini-book from P&R Publishing)
On How To Become A Better Listener (Ep. 34)
Deepak, Garrett, and Hayley talk about the good and bad qualities of a listener and how to grow in your skill of listening.
Interview With Abby Wedgeworth (Ep. 33)
Hayley, Garrett and Deepak interview Abby Wedgeworth (author of best-selling book HELD) about how to care for women who have suffered from a miscarriage.
Resources Mentioned:
Held: 31 Biblical Reflections on God’s Comfort and Care in the Sorrow of Miscarriage by Abby Wedgworth
Ours: Biblical Comfort for Men Grieving Miscarriage by Eric Schumacher
Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop
On Miscarriage and Infertility Part 2 (Ep. 32)
Hayley, Garrett and Deepak offer 5 Do's and 5 Don'ts in coming alongside those who have suffered with infertility or miscarriage.
On Miscarriage and Infertility Part 1 (Ep. 31)
Hayley, Garrett and Deepak consider the painful experiences of infertility and miscarriage, and how the Lord walks with us in our grief.
On What to Do When You're Stuck (Ep. 30)
What do you do when you're feeling stuck in counseling? How do you help someone when it feels like nothing is changing? Hayley, Deepak and Garrett offer eleven suggestions on how to get unstuck!
On Relational Idolatry, with Ellen Dykas (Ep. 29)
Hayley and Deepak talk with Ellen Dykas about the problems of relational idolatry. What can you do when you turn an important relationship into an idol? How can you find satisfaction in Christ rather than a person in your life?
31 Day Devotional on Toxic RelationshipSexual Sanity for WomenSex and the Single GirlHarvest USA
Article: Close Friends and Entangled Hearts: Dykas and Powlison.
On Eating Disorders, with The Dunhams (Ep. 28)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak interview the Dunhams about their journey through Krista’s eating disorder. Dave and Krista explain how she let go of control, sorted through all of the unhelpful things she was told, and in the end, centered her life around Christ.
On Eating Disorders Part 3 (Ep. 27)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak explore 12 principles that people struggling with eating disorders should follow, like facing their shame, turning down the outside cultural influences, fighting against perfectionism and pride, addressing ungodly fears, and much more!
On Eating Disorders Part 2 (Ep. 26)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak think about how pastors can care for a member who confesses a battle with an eating disorder. What are the theological, medical and practical considerations? How does the gospel change this dilemma?
On Eating Disorders Part 1 (Ep. 25)
Garrett, Hayley and Deepak think about what the Bible has to say about food and our relationship with food.
Related resources:Helping Bulimics by Elyse FitzpatrickHelping Anorexics by Elyse FitzpatrickDisorderly Eating... for the Rest of Us by Elyse Fitzpatrick
On How to End Counseling Sessions (Ep. 24)
The decision to bring the counseling process to a close is sometimes clear, but often not. In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Garrett Kell, and Hayley Satrom talk about how to end counseling sessions.
Related resources
The Discipleship River by Steve Viars
On Adultery, with Michael Gembola (Ep. 23)
In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak, Garrett, and Hayley interview Michael Gembola, the author of After an Affair.
Related resources:After an Affair by Michael Gembola
On Adultery Part 3 (Ep. 22)
In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Garrett Kell, and Hayley Satrom finish their mini-series on adultery, talking about reconciliation after adultery.
Related resources:My Spouse Was Unfaithful: Finding Strength in God's Presence by Robert JonesForgiveness by Garrett KellDisclosing Past Sexual Sin in a Dating Relationship by Garrett KellForgiveness: Reflecting God's Mercy by Hayley Satrom
Subscribe to our new podcast, A Storm in the Desert.
On Adultery Part 2 (Ep. 21)
What should counselors do when adultery comes to light?
In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Garrett Kell, and Hayley Satrom continue their mini-series on adultery.
Related resources:Restoring Your Broken Marriage: Healing After Adultery by Robert JonesAfter an Affair by Michael Gembola
On Adultery Part 1 (Ep. 20)
In this episode of Counseling Talk, Garrett, Deepak, and Hayley begin a 3-part series on adultery and discuss what the Bible says about adultery.
Related resources:Envision the End of Your Sin by Garrett KellHelp! My Spouse Committed Adultery: First Steps for Dealing with Betrayal by Winston Smith
Subscribe to our new podcast, A Storm in the Desert.
On How to Ask Questions (Ep. 19)
Counseling Talk is back for season 2!
In this episode, Garrett, Deepak, and Hayley discuss how to ask good questions in a counseling session. They share personal stories and practical examples that they have seen over the years.
X-ray Questions: Drawing Out the Whys and Wherefores of Human Behavior by David PowlisonThe Pastor and Counseling by Deepak Reju and Jeremy PierreA Do-It-Yourself Marriage Retreat by Deepak Reju
On Fighting Anxiety, with John Henderson (Ep. 18)
In this final episode of Counseling Talk Season 1, Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell interview John Henderson on how to fight anxiety.
Related resources:Running Scared by Ed WelchWhen I'm Afraid by Ed WelchA Small Book on Anxious Heart by Ed WelchAnxiety: Knowing God's Peace by Paul TautgesJohn Henderson on anxiety at DRBC
