This Side of the Grass

Another season has gone by, and it’s been another amazing opportunity to see how the episode topics and guests have woven organically into the theme of “positive reframing” over the last several months. Just like in Seasons 1 and 2, with the themes of “finding meaning” and “connections” respectively, it took looking back to see all the ways that this new theme continued to rise to the surface. 

My amazing guests this season included sisters Kara Millerhagen & Kjersten Dysthe, Dr. Jane Oh, Wendy Benning Swanson, Dr. Joel Carter, Joy DiVincenzo, and Brian Muller returned to the studio for a second time...

Today is a heartfelt and deep dive into complicated loss. Unresolved issues, being estranged, suddenness, guilt and anger are all examples of complications that could muddy the waters of grief when someone dies. On today’s episode, we hear a unique perspective from former ICU nurse, Joy DiVincenzo, who worked in the Intensive Care Unit during the Covid-19 pandemic. The fast pace of losing patients, the inability for families to be with their loved ones when they died, and the difficulty connecting and grieving with her fellow nurses because of social distancing are all pieces that Joy touches on du...

‘Tis the season…. For graduations! Whether you are a graduate, have one in your family, or are just in a transition stage of life, today’s show is for you. As I was reflecting on all the graduations this time of year, I was thinking of new beginnings. And whenever something begins, something has come to an end. This season of life had me considering our ultimate endings, and how acknowledging our mortality as we move into a new chapter of life gives us the freedom to realize that we can always change our minds! 

Whether you're watchin...

I am honored to have palliative care physician, Dr. Joel Carter, with me today. In addition to educating me on what this specialty is and how it differs from hospice, Dr. Carter delves into some incredibly powerful insights into just how powerful stories can be at the end of someone’s life, and shares several moving stories of his own. 

Joel Carter is an accomplished Palliative Care specialist, author, storyteller and artist. Dr. Carter transitioned to Palliative Care in 2002 after being awarded a Bush Medical Fellowship by the Archibald Bush Foundation to pursue interests in End of Lif...

Wendy Benning Swanson is my guest today! She is a spiritual guide, healer, and teacher in the mysteries of life. “Her purpose is to support people in finding their inner light which will allow them to align with their most powerful self.” (wendybenningswanson.com) 

She found her purpose through a winding journey after significant loss in her life – not only her parents, but her first husband, Steve. This loss was significant and sudden, leaving Wendy as a widow in her early 30s with a 1-year-old son, and unending questions about why. After their son got a little older...

I’m so honored to have Brian Muller back with me today! If you have not heard our first conversation from about a year ago, please listen here first: Putting Pain Into Purpose: A Conversation with Brian Muller - This Side of the Grass. His story is incredibly powerful and moving – and since our last episode together, he has finished writing a book that he started 15 years ago.

In his professional life as a financial advisor, Brian owns Momentous Wealth Advisors. His podcast, called Wealth Decisions by Brian, can be found on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Li...

Today’s amazing guest is Dr. Jane Oh. After practicing internal medicine for 30 years, Dr. Oh was looking for a new challenge, while also watching her patients age. Transitioning to hospice care seemed a natural next step to help provide comfort and support for her patients. This conversation provides clarity in a field that many perceive and assume to be just a death sentence. There is so much more to this alternative, and Dr. Oh has such a beautiful perspective.

Because physicians are trained to heal and fix, educating more physicians about this as an option sooner is...

Today’s episode features musical sisters Kjersten Dysthe and Kara Millerhagen, from the Minnesota musical group, Sister. Through their beautiful words, songs and stories, they have shared their gifts with one another and their audiences going back to childhood. Starting as a trio, with their sister Alisa, they evolved from young women into mothers who bonded in this shared human experience that inspired original music, poetry and shows.

After losing Alisa to a brief and tragic battle with cancer in 2018, these remaining two sisters were in a holding pattern with their remaining family, ultimately also losing their da...

My family and I have finally discovered the fascinating world of Survivor. Yes, the reality show that’s been on for literally 25 years. As we started watching – bouncing from old seasons to new and back again – the theme of “control” kept bubbling to the surface. Both in Survivor and in life, very little is within our control from day to day.

Go down the Survivor rabbit hole with me today, as I dissect this game as it relates to control – and control as it relates to life, death and everything in between. I’d venture to guess that most conv...

Today was a day. It was one of those crummy days, in spite of the sunshine, that I wanted to just stay in bed. I was definitely on the Struggle Bus. Listen as I share with you how I hopped off that bus, in hopes that it will help you. 

It feels way too big to think of your life’s purpose when there are day-to-day struggles that keep you from even wanting to get up in the morning. Life is hard, struggle is real, and overwhelm can feel never-ending. But you are NOT alone. 

You...

On today’s episode, I take an intentional look at New Year’s goals, several months into the year. I use the following recommendations* on how to get through “National Quitter’s Day” and correlate them to loss, and the new you that you become after you have significant loss.

It’s finally Season 3, with a fresh season and a fresh perspective on the topic of death and dying. Because It’s been several months since new episodes were released, I talk through the hiatus over the holiday season and what’s to come over the next few months.

On today’s episode, I discuss re-framing “Why me?” into “Why NOT me?” This mental shift and awareness can be a game-changer. 

The first time I remember making this switch was during a presentation I gave to a women’s leadership group a few years ago, before my brother p...

This week’s episode falls near several important milestone dates related to the loss of my mom: Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, and the anniversary of her passing on June 4. As milestones and anniversaries loom year after year, it sometimes feels like no time at all has passed – even years or decades after we have lost a loved one!

After participating in a live group Zoom with David Kessler ahead of Mother’s Day, I knew I wanted to share some learnings and great takeaways for these dates that are just hard. This is totally normal and expected...

This episode was recorded just a few days after a deadly shooting near my house that made national news. Two officers and a firefighter were killed when responding to a domestic disturbance call a little over a block away. This incident was unsettling on so many levels, and I was confused as to why it so strongly affected not only me, but my family, neighbors and other friends in our city. These feelings reminded me of an episode of ‘The Mel Robbins Podcast’ that I had listened to six months earlier, called “Something Scary Happened the Other Day, and I Want...

Happy Holidays! If you are listening in real time, this bonus episode is being released as we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States. For many people, today marks the start of the holiday season, and is a painful reminder of those who are no longer with us.

My guest today is Tara Paul, who is no stranger to loss. We met through our sons, but I felt drawn to her as I read her honest and vulnerable posts on social media. Her mother died tragically in a car accident 15 years ago, and she lost her husband, Vrydon...

It is the third Thursday in November, which is National Children’s Grief Awareness Day. On today’s bonus episode, Nicole Barnes joins me from the Park Nicollet Foundation’s ‘Growing Through Grief’ program: www.parknicollet.com/growingthroughgrief

Nicole shares the history of how this program began, and the heart-breaking prevalence of how many children are affected by the loss of a parent or sibling before the age of 18, especially students in BIPOC populations or where household income is lower. Growing Through Grief partners with 16 school districts in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, as well as we...

Wow – we’ve reached the end of another season! I’m so proud of this show, and love hearing from you about how these topics and episodes are helping to drive discussions, make decisions, and think about end of life to more purposefully live each and every day!

You may recall that Season 1 had the threads of “Finding Meaning” (be sure to check out David Kessler’s book if you haven’t yet!  Finding Meaning, the Sixth Stage of Grief) and having conversations before it’s too late. This season has really been about “Connections.” On today’s show, I reflect on ho...

Today’s important episode is about the option to be an organ and tissue donor at the end of life. Micah Webb joins me today. She is the Donation Liaison from LifeSource, one of 56 Organ Procurement Organizations (OPOs) in the country, serving the second largest geographic region. https://www.life-source.org/

I learned of LifeSource following the death of my brother, Dan. Micah educates me further on how impactful this organization is from start to finish in the donation process, some myths and common misconceptions, and how powerful one donor’s gifts can be! Micah has her own...

It’s been a while, but today’s episode is just me, talking to you. Synchronicity hit hard again, as the universe aligned to allow me a week to record in the studio without a guest. If you feel like the action steps have been overwhelming in all of our This Side of the Grass episodes, today’s episode is for you.

As I recap the checklist that we’ve had throughout all 25 episodes so far (wow!), I break it down to be more manageable, and hopefully actionable. You are definitely not alone if you haven’t gotten too...

It was my absolute honor to spend time with Kelly Grosklags on today’s episode. Kelly shares her thoughts, experiences and learnings from nearly 30 years in and around the fields of grief and end-of-life care. 

Our conversation makes its way to the importance of signs from those who have died, the magnitude of speaking the names of our loved ones who are gone, and how their relationships to us and our love for them did not die with them. Love and grief are connected, and it is so important to be gentle with ourselves in the grief spa...

September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and today’s episode – both recorded and released in September of 2024 – is about suicide. My friends Melissa MacPhail and Lis Klein bravely join me to share their experiences losing loved ones to suicide: Melissa’s dad, Jerry; and Lis’s brother, Steve. Through our conversation, we touch on forgiveness, healing, the stigma of dying by suicide, and memories they have of their loved ones.

This topic is so important, yet it is very hard to discuss. I encourage you to listen with an open mind, grace and love in your heart for family...

Wow. If today’s episode with guest Dan Neitz doesn’t help you to see endings differently, I don’t know what will! Endings are not just deaths, but a near-death experience is what brought Dan to clarity and purpose in his life and in his work. 

On today’s episode, we hear Dan’s story of dying from sepsis, and being brought back to life. His perspective and intentionality of making his life matter had been gnawing at him since he was a child, but nearly dying brought him to a crystal clear realization of his path – a ve...

Attorney Steve Messick is back! As promised on his first high-level show about all things legal when it comes to dying, Steve and I take a deeper dive on legacy planning through Trusts. One of the big take-aways: you don’t have to have millions of dollars for a Trust to be a valuable planning tool!

If you haven’t yet listened to Steve’s first show, released May 30, 2024, here it is:

This Side of the Grass, Episode 11: The Legal Side of Dying

Disclaimer: The information discussed today is not, nor is it intend...

On today’s episode, I am joined by 4th generation owner of White Funeral Homes, Mike White. Mike’s family has been serving the Twin Cities community in Minnesota for more than 125 years, and currently own and operate 5 funeral homes in the South Metro area of Minneapolis and St. Paul. 

Mike has an amazing vantage point of life, loss and what it is like working daily with families who have experienced loss. He and his sister, Meg, have followed in the footsteps of their father, grandfather and great-grandfather, and are working with the next generation of the White...

I called an audible today! No notes or outline, but today’s show is a rich and entertaining conversation with Sam Devine. Sam is the “Devine” part of DevineFox Productions, the company that produces “This Side of the Grass”. He also has his own podcast called “Legacy Matters”, and today’s episode is a blend of his show and mine, as we just talk. 

Our conversation still centers around end-of-life, and the situation that Sam is experiencing in his life and family right now. 

I was recently a guest on Sam’s show, and you can listen here: Leg...

Isn’t it kind of crazy to think that there are days that completely change the course of your life… and when you wake up on those days, oftentimes you don’t even know it’s about to happen. It’s only when you look back that you realize your entire life changed on that day.

On today’s solo episode, I take a little pivot. Instead of sharing a specific preparation step or lesson learned following the death of a loved one, I share a personal story that helped to change my trajectory and one that has helped m...

On today’s episode of This Side of the Grass, I am so happy to have Katie Novak, Registered Nurse, share her expertise on healthcare documentation. She is here to provide clarity on decisions and forms that often are needed at end of life, including Health Care Directives and the POLST.

A “Health Care Directive”, prepared by an attorney, is a legally binding document that helps the provider to know what your wishes are, but more importantly, who can make decisions should you be incapacitated.

A “POLST: Provider Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment” is for individual...

On today’s episode, I share with you my vulnerable conversation with long-time friend of the Amsden family, Mike Zinda. Mike is the first guest who reached out to me after listening to several episodes last season, and asked if he could come on to share his story. After talking with him several times about the unexpected loss of his dad, it became clear that Mike’s path to finding peace is a relatable one – as it took Mike close to 7 years to find sobriety, prayer and going back to church to truly begin his healing journey. He encourages all of...

What a unique and beautiful privilege it is to share with you today’s conversation! My grandmother, Dorothy Waska, turned 98 in May of 2024. We recorded this conversation in her apartment about 6 weeks before her birthday. Her transparency and ease of sharing her thoughts on dying and loss really helped to shape how I approach this podcast, and I am grateful to her for that, as well as for her openness, love and ability to still tell stories and share her thoughts. 

In our conversation, there are three segments:

1. What she remembers of loss in her ear...

Here we go again! As we start Season 2 together, I revisit “My Why” – which is how we started Season 1. If you haven’t listened to that episode, or if it’s been a while, here it is:

This Side of the Grass, Episode 1 "My Why"

On today’s “My Why” for Season 2, I share with you a bit more about my grandma, and how her views on dying and preparation have helped to shape what the podcast has become. She will be one of my first guests this season, and several of the topics in future weeks wil...

We have reached the end of Season 1! 

Throughout the last 13 episodes, I have found my voice and the tone of this podcast in real time. Thank you for going on this adventure with me! As I shared my story, I have been humbled and proud to have helped others to share theirs, and look forward to taking some intentional time to reset, regroup and catch up (Note: watch for “This Side of the Grass” on YouTube!) before a new episode drops again on August 1, 2024!

The two threads that wove throughout Season 1, as we explored funerals, obitu...

This week’s episode falls near several important milestone dates related to the loss of my mom: Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, and the anniversary of her passing on June 4. As milestones and anniversaries loom year after year, it sometimes feels like no time at all has passed – even years or decades after we have lost a loved one!

After participating in a live group Zoom with David Kessler ahead of Mother’s Day, I knew I wanted to share some learnings and great takeaways for these dates that are just hard. This is totally normal and expected...

Long-time friend Eric Froistad joins me on today’s episode. We share a birthday, a best friend (my husband!) and the heart-breaking burden of losing brothers unexpectedly much too soon. Because we, along with our other siblings, gave the eulogies at our brothers’ services, we have an additional connection that I wanted to explore. 

Eulogies include stories of the loved ones we have lost, and Eric is a master story-teller! His dedication to keeping Andy’s memory alive through stories is inspiring, and we hear some amazing ones today! 

Whether you’re thinking of who might some...

I’ve teed up this topic in several previous episodes: the legal side of things! I am thrilled to have this important and specific conversation with attorney and long-time friend, Steve Messick, founder and lead attorney of Messick Law, PLLC. He is a top-rated attorney serving clients throughout the State of Minnesota. His primary areas of practice include probate, trust and estate litigation, elder law, real estate, and civil litigation. 

Steve walks us through a high level overview of what happens from the legal side of things when you die. The bottom line? Either you have a pla...

My guest on today’s episode is Brian Muller: a dad, musician and fellow resident of the Twin Cities. Professionally, he has been in the financial services industry for over 25 years, and recently started his own firm and podcast. He grew up near my husband’s family, so Brian and I have been mutual friends for years! 

I watched via social media as he and his late wife, Amie, went through her public battle with pancreatic cancer in 2016 – having been exposed to toxic burn pits while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, which drew the attention of news outlets...

On today’s episode, we are talking about obituaries! At first, this may not seem exciting – but really, what an incredible opportunity an obituary is to showcase and highlight the life of someone that has passed away. In many cases, this is the last written account of someone’s life!

I talk through not only what an obituary is, but also the following action items to make sure you have the knowledge to create your own – with all the wonderful opportunities and potential pitfalls to look out for.

Action Items:

1.        Write your obituary, perhaps with...

What happens to our social media presence when we die? And what can we do about it now? I talk through the options available on three of the biggest platforms: Facebook, Instagram and X (formerly Twitter).

Deciding now what you want done with your online footprint is incredibly helpful to the loved ones that are left behind when you are gone! The action item for this week is to decide the following:

1.  Who should your Legacy Contact be?

2.  What do you want done with your social media footprint once you have died? Those op...

I met today’s guest, Sheri Erickson, through a mutual friend because we both had stories in our families of tragedy and loss. We struck up a quick friendship, and it amazed me how beautifully she viewed the passing from this life to what is next – and I knew I needed her on the podcast. 

Listen in on our conversation as Sheri’s shares stories of loss, we talk about how relationships and friendships change following a loss, and how she is now training to become an end-of-life Doula. 

Quote shared by Sheri at the end of t...

This episode was recorded just a few days after a deadly shooting near my house that made national news. Two officers and a firefighter were killed when responding to a domestic disturbance call a little over a block away. This incident was unsettling on so many levels, and I was confused as to why it so strongly affected not only me, but my family, neighbors and other friends in our city. These feelings reminded me of an episode of ‘The Mel Robbins Podcast’ that I had listened to six months earlier, called “Something Scary Happened the Other Day, and I Want...

Listen in on my very first interview with two subject matter experts, Bethany Winters and Tim Vossen, who work in commercial insurance. Using their hearts – Bethany’s story is powerful – and combined 34 years of professional experience, they take us through the nuts and bolts of life insurance: What is it? Why do you need it? If you already have it through a job, is it enough?

Start these conversations now to make sure your family is taken care of when (not “if”) something happens to you.

Action items:

1. If you think you have life insur...