Beyond Obedience | Dog Training, Dog Body Language, Anxious Dogs, Scared Dogs, Reactive Dogs

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

What happens when two dogs who've always gotten along suddenly get into a fight?

What do you do when your dog is so afraid they won't even take a treat?

And why does your dog seem to listen beautifully at home, but the moment you step outside, it's like you don't even exist?

Today, Paisley is joining me for another episode of Questions You Never Knew You Asked!

We're digging into real questions inspired by conversations in our Living Beyond Obedience Facebook community, from navigating relationships betw...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

What do you do when your dog starts reacting?

Do you immediately start asking them to sit, look at you, leave it, or do something—anything—other than what they're doing?

And what if all that effort to control the behaviour is causing you to miss something incredibly important?

When our dogs react, it's natural to focus on what they're doing.

We watch them. We anticipate their next move. We try to redirect, reward, correct, or manage the behaviour before things get out of hand.

And w...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you tried everything to fix your dog's behaviour?

Does it feel like no matter how much training you do, you're still dealing with the same problems?

And what if more training isn't actually what your dog needs?

Maybe your dog is reactive. Maybe they pull on the leash, lose their mind when someone comes to the door, or simply don't seem to listen when it matters most.

So you do what everyone tells you to do.

You train.

You try different met...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Is your dog spoiled rotten?

Does letting your dog sleep in your bed, showering them with affection, or treating them like another member of the family mean you're creating a spoiled dog?

And who gets to decide what spoiling a dog actually means?

We've all heard the warnings. Don't let your dog on the furniture. Don't give them too much attention. Don't let them get away with everything.

But what if we've been looking at this whole idea of spoiling our dogs from the wrong perspective?

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

What if the problem you've been working so hard to fix with your dog isn't actually a problem for your dog?

Stop the barking. Stop the pulling. Stop the jumping. Stop the digging. Stop the chasing.

We're constantly being told how to fix our dogs and change their behaviour.

But have you ever stopped to ask yourself whether your dog actually thinks there's a problem?

Because sometimes our dogs are genuinely struggling. They're frightened, overwhelmed, uncertain, or uncomfortable, and their behaviour is an expression of what they...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

When was the last time you and your dog did absolutely nothing?

No training. No enrichment activities. No games, adventures, or walks with a purpose.

Just... nothing.

Recently, I attended a yoga retreat in beautiful Summerville, Nova Scotia, the weekend before my CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp. The timing couldn't have been worse. I had a million things to do, and taking time away felt like the last thing I should be doing.

But I went anyway.

And what I discovered about the importance of slo...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Is having an obedient dog the same thing as having influence over your dog?

Not necessarily.

Have you ever stopped to think about WHY you're asking your dog to do something? Is it because it's necessary, because it helps your dog navigate a situation, or simply because you expect them to listen?

In this episode, I'm sharing a little encounter I had at the feed store with a very happy chocolate Lab and an interaction that made me say, out loud, "Ooh, gross!"

And no, this isn...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

What happens when you don’t have a treat?

Or your dog can’t have one?

What happens when the equipment you usually rely on isn’t available—or when life hands you a situation you’ve never actually trained for?

Let me be clear: I use treats. I use equipment. And I train my dogs.

This isn’t an anti-treat episode.

It’s a conversation about what we build underneath all of those things.

In this episode, we’re talking about the difference between...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

You're personally invited to join me for my FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp!

If you've been struggling with your dog's behaviour, feeling frustrated by everything you've tried, or wondering why things just aren't getting better, I'd love for you to join me.

We're spending three days together looking at dog behaviour differently, learning to understand what's really happening, and exploring how you can become a more confident partner for your dog.

No more guessing. No more searching for the next training technique.

Just you, me, and a wh...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever wondered if YOU might be the reason your dog isn't getting better?

Maybe you've tried the training, followed the advice, bought the equipment, and done everything you thought you weresupposed to do.

And yet, your dog is still struggling.

And somewhere along the way, you start wondering whether you're doing something wrong. Whether you're making things worse. Or whether your dog might actually be better off with somebody else.

Ouch. That's a tough place to find yourself.

In this episode, we're having a con...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

When did living with your dog stop being fun?

Maybe you got a dog because you pictured walks, adventures, companionship, road trips, or quiet nights curled up together. But somewhere along the way, life became less about enjoying your dog and more about managing them.

Who’s coming over? Which route can we walk? What happens if we see another dog? Can I bring them? Should I leave them home? What if something goes wrong?

And little by little, your world together starts getting smaller.

In this e...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Does your dog have an amazing walk one day... only to completely lose it over what seems like the exact same thing the next?

Find yourself wondering how your dog could handle something beautifully yesterday but struggle with it today?

Does the unpredictability leave you questioning whether you’re actually making progress at all?

In this episode, we’re talking about why your dog can be fine one day and reactive the next — and why that doesn’t necessarily mean anything has gone wrong.

Because what looks like...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Ever feel like you’re trying to do ALL the right things on a walk with your dog, but something still isn’t quite working?

Wonder what you might be missing in those tiny moments before your dog reacts, pulls, worries, or gets stuck on something in the environment?

What if the answer isn’t another training technique — but learning to see what’s actually happening between you and your dog?

In this episode, I’m taking you behind the scenes of a real coaching call where I watched video o...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Does one bad reaction from your dog leave you wondering what you did wrong?

Do you find yourself embarrassed, frustrated, or worried about what everyone else thinks when your dog loses it?

What if progress with your reactive dog isn’t only about whether your dog reacts — but about what happens at your end of the leash too?

In this episode, we’re talking about a kind of progress with reactive dogs that we don’t talk about nearly enough: learning to trust yourself.

I’m sharing a...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Your dog sees another dog.

And suddenly they’re at the end of the leash barking, lunging, pulling, jumping around, completely losing their you-know-what.

And you’re standing at the other end thinking:

“What the heck am I supposed to do right now?”

Do you ask them to sit?

Tell them to look at you?

Offer a treat?

Turn around?

Keep walking?

Get the heck out of Dodge?

When your dog is reacting, it’s really easy...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Your dog sees something they’re worried about.

Their body gets tense.

Maybe they want to move away.

Maybe they start barking.

Maybe everything about their body is telling you:

I’m not comfortable here.

So you ask them to sit.

And they do.

Success... right?

Maybe.

Because your dog may be sitting quietly beside you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything has changed about how they’re actually feeling.

Sometimes we get so f...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Your dog notices another dog coming down the road.

Their ears go up.

Their body changes.

They’re looking at that dog because, for whatever reason, that dog matters to them.

And what do we so often do?

“Look at me.”

“Look at me.”

“LOOK AT ME.”

But why?

Your dog knows the other dog is there.

You know the other dog is there.

Everybody knows the other dog is there.

So why are we tr...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Come.

Stay.

Leave it.

Off.

Down.

Let’s go.

No.

We humans are incredibly verbal.

And somewhere along the way, we seem to have decided that because our dogs live with us, they must also be fluent in English.

So when we say “come” and our dog doesn’t come, what do we do?

We say it again.

Usually louder.

“COME!”

As though the problem is that they didn’t hear the...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

What did you actually want when you brought your dog home?

Probably a dog you could do life with.

A dog you could walk with.

Take places.

Go on adventures with.

Hang out with.

A dog you enjoyed being around and who enjoyed being around you.

And yes, you probably wanted them to listen to you. You wanted a good recall. Some basic manners. Because nobody wants to live with an absolute hooligan.

But somewhere along the way, we s...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Your dog says no.

Maybe they pull their paw away when you try to trim their nails.

Maybe they move away when you reach toward them.

Maybe they’re very clearly communicating:

“I don’t want you to do this.”

So... now what?

Because I think we’ve created two extremes when it comes to listening to our dogs.

On one side:

“I’m the human. You’re the dog. We’re doing this whether you like it or not.”

And on...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

If you have a fearful dog, chances are you've been told you need to build their confidence.

More training. More exposure. More experiences. More opportunities to successfully accomplish things.

Because training builds confidence, right?

Well... maybe.

But when I'm working with a fearful dog, confidence actually isn't where I start.

Because before I want your dog to believe:

“I've got this.”

I want them to believe:

“You've got me.”

And that changes where we begin.

Instead of...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever learned a dog training technique, tried it with your dog exactly the way you were taught...

and it didn't work?

Maybe the problem isn't the technique.

Maybe somewhere along the way, we've become so focused on doing dog training correctly that we've forgotten to pay attention to the dog standing in front of us.

Where should my hands be?

When do I say the word?

When do I reward?

What am I supposed to do next?

And...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

How often do you find yourself telling your dog:

“No barking.”

“No.”

“Stop.”

“Enough.”

And then getting frustrated when they keep doing exactly what you just told them not to do?

Here’s the question I want you to ask:

Before you told your dog “no,” did you actually tell them what you wanted them to do instead?

This came up during one of our recent Fearless Framework coaching calls, and it sparked a really interesting conversation about what communication with o...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

We ask our dogs to trust our decisions all the time.

Come with me.

Leave that.

Don’t go over there.

Walk past this dog.

Stay here.

I’ve got it.

But have you ever stopped to ask:

Why should they?

Not because we’re the human. Not because we own them. And not simply because we’re holding the leash.

In this episode, we’re talking about Leadership, the final piece of my Foundation of...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

We spend a LOT of time trying to get our dogs to pay attention to us.

Look at me.

Come with me.

Leave that.

Let’s go.

But how much attention are we paying to them?

In this episode, we’re talking about Relevance, one of the three pieces of my Foundation of Relationship, and what it actually means to become relevant to your dog.

Because relevance isn’t simply about getting your dog’s attention.

It’s about whether yo...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Does your dog need more enrichment?

More mental stimulation? More exercise? More games? More training?

If you've ever worried that you're not doing enough to meet your dog's needs, this episode is for you.

Somewhere along the way, I think we've started confusing enrichment with fulfillment. And they're not necessarily the same thing.

We've been told our dogs need puzzle toys, scent games, training games, lick mats, snuffle mats and endless mental stimulation. But those are simply tools we've created to give dogs oppo...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

What if some of the behaviour that's driving you crazy isn't just about your dog?

What if your dog is actually reflecting something back to you?

Maybe they're suddenly more reactive.

Maybe they're barking more.

Maybe they can't seem to settle.

Maybe something that was getting better suddenly feels worse again.

And you're looking at your dog thinking...

What is going on with you?!

But what if there's another question worth asking?

What's going on with ME...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever found yourself wondering...

Am I doing this wrong?

Should I let my dog approach?

Should I create more space?

Should I say something?

Should I let them figure it out?

Did I wait too long?

Am I making this worse?

And before you know it, you're having an entire committee meeting inside your head while your dog is standing there waiting for you to make a decision.

If that sounds familiar, you're not alo...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Every single day, your dog is learning something about you.

Not because you're training them.

Not because you've set aside ten minutes to work on your relationship.

They're learning about you in hundreds of tiny moments throughout the day.

When something unexpected happens, what happens when they're with you?

When they're unsure?

When they're excited, frustrated, or overwhelmed?

Because over time, all of those little experiences start answering a much bigger question for your dog:

What can I exp...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

When you hear the word leadership, what comes to mind?

Do you picture someone who's always in charge?

Have you ever worried that becoming a "leader" means being controlling or acting like the boss?

If so, you're not alone.

Leadership has become one of the most misunderstood words in the dog world. Somewhere along the way, it became associated with power, control, and making your dog do what you say.

But that's never been what leadership has meant to me.

In this epis...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever caught yourself thinking,

"I just wish my dog trusted me."

Do you wonder what you can do to earn your dog's trust?

What if we've been asking the wrong question all along?

In this episode, I'm sharing one of the biggest lessons Levi ever taught me about trust.

Because when Levi first came home, all I wanted was for him to let me touch him.

I wanted him to choose me.

I wanted him to trust me.

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever felt guilty for using a leash, a long line, a head halter... or even a muzzle?

Do you worry that needing equipment means you're somehow failing your dog?

What if we've been asking the wrong question all along?

In this episode, we're exploring one of the biggest mindset shifts in relationship-based dog training.

Because equipment doesn't build trust...

And it doesn't destroy it either.

The real question isn't what you're using.

It's how you're using it.

We'll...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever stopped to wonder what you're actually communicating to your dog... before you ever say a word?

Do you find yourself relying on commands, leash pressure, or constant reminders, yet still feel disconnected?

What if the most important conversation with your dog isn't happening through your words at all?

In this episode, we're exploring one of the biggest shifts you can make in your relationship with your dog: understanding the silent conversations that happen every single day.

Because dogs aren't just listening to what we...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever wondered if treats are really the most powerful reward you can give your dog?

Do you find yourself reaching for food every time you want to reinforce good behaviour?

What if one of the most meaningful rewards your dog experiences isn't something you carry in your pocket...

But something you feel?

In this episode, we're talking about one of the most overlooked rewards in relationship-based dog training: your genuine delight.

Because there is a big difference between saying, "Good dog," and laughi...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever noticed how often we tell our dogs what to do?

Sit.

Stay.

Come.

Leave it.

Wait.

Move.

Off.

But have you ever stopped to ask yourself:

What does it actually mean to ask my dog?

And why does that matter?

In this episode, we're exploring one of the biggest shifts that happens when we move beyond obedience and start focusing on relationship-based leadership.

Because communication isn't just about...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever felt like you're doing all the right things... but somehow things still aren't getting better?

Do you find yourself constantly searching for the next training tip, tool, strategy, or solution?

Have you ever wondered if trying harder might actually be making things more difficult?

In this episode, we're talking about something many dog owners experience but rarely recognize:

The pressure that comes from constantly trying to fix everything.

Because when our dogs struggle, our natural response is often to do more.

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever looked at your dog and thought:

"They know all of this... so why does it still feel like we're disconnected?"

Does your dog listen perfectly in some situations but completely forget you exist when life gets interesting?

Have you ever wondered why obedience doesn't always create the relationship you're hoping for?

In this episode, we're exploring one of the biggest misconceptions in the dog world:

The idea that obedience and connection are the same thing.

Because whi...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever looked at your dog and thought:

"Why did I get this dog?"

Have you ever felt guilty for even having that thought?

Do you sometimes wonder if you're the problem... if you're failing... or if you've simply taken on more than you can handle?

In this episode, we're talking about one of the most common thoughts struggling dog owners have—and one of the least talked about.

Because when you're living with a fearful dog, a reactive dog, or a dog that...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever worried that your dog doesn't have enough dog friends?

Do you feel guilty when your dog isn't interested in greeting every person or playing with every dog they meet?

Have you ever wondered if we've misunderstood what socialization is really supposed to accomplish?

In this episode, we're exploring a simple but powerful idea:

The Pack of Two.

Because humans and dogs experience relationships very differently.

As humans, we spend a lot of time thinking about belonging, fitting in, and bei...

Hey Dog Lover 🐾

Have you ever found yourself saying:

"But my dog knows this."

Do you feel frustrated when your dog suddenly struggles with something they've done successfully dozens of times before?

Have you ever wondered if your dog is really choosing not to listen... or if something else might be going on?

In this episode, we're exploring one of the most common phrases in dog training:

"My dog should know better."

But what if that's the wrong question?

Because kno...