Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Where politics meets punchlines

Patrick Gutfield had to work TWICE today on what supposedly is a national holiday!  Did you hear we have a new Pope and he is Pope Leo XIV from Chicago?  We have the details, or at least some AI generated jokes.

Patrick Gutfield delivers razor-sharp commentary on Trump's Meet the Press confession about the Constitution, his bizarre AI papal image controversy, and why Sopranos star Joe Pantoliano is joining celebrities fleeing to Portugal.

Patrick Gutfield skewers Trump's bizarre crusade against "excessive Barbie ownership" while the former president jokes about becoming the next pope. Meanwhile, San Francisco tech bros are scanning eyeballs to prove you're not a robot—all while serving margaritas!

Patrick Gutfield delivers a biting commentary on Trump's multi-million dollar birthday parade plans complete with tanks and seven bands. Meanwhile, New Jersey residents can't get REAL IDs before the deadline, and driverless trucks are now operating between Dallas and Houston with "no humans needed!"

Patrick Gutfield hilariously skewers Trump's rambling University of Alabama commencement speech and his executive order slashing PBS funding. From renaming Veterans Day to firing Elmo,   The American Dream might be back, but apparently so is presidential freestyle and public broadcasting paranoia!

Patrick Gutfield's take on banned cruise passengers, Trump's romantic funeral dinner date with Melania, and baseball's posthumous Pete Rose controversy.

Why Democrats' impeachment efforts are like bringing water guns to tank battles, Josh Hawley's brilliantly named PELOSI Act, and how to lose a $60 million fighter jet in one easy step.

Patrick Gutfield breaks down Trump declaring himself ruler of the world, Amazon's hasty retreat from tariff transparency, and the record-breaking heat wave turning 21 countries into human rotisseries.

Patrick Gutfield cracks wise about Trump's suspicious twenty-pound weight loss miracle, Don Jr.'s ultra-exclusive Georgetown club for the super-rich, and Russia's nuclear satellite that's now just a very expensive space disco ball. Plus, find out why Trump's five thousand dollar baby bonus might be the worst investment strategy since pet rocks! Join us for a show where "bringing back Tuesdays" is just the beginning of America's restoration.

Patrick Gutfield skewers Trump's mission to rescue a holiday that was never missing, plus hilarious takes on the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame's newest members—where OutKast says "Hey Ya" to immortality and Chubby Checker twists his way in at eighty-three.

President Trump scores VIP seats at Pope Francis's funeral while holding unexpected peace talks with Zelensky. Plus, tonight's White House Correspondents' Dinner goes comedian-free as media tensions escalate. Patrick Gutfield breaks down the diplomatic drama, midnight blue suits, and awkward handshakes in Vatican City that could reshape the Ukraine-Russia conflict.

Patrick Gutfield skewers Bezos launching celebrities into space, Ivanka's astronaut dreams, astronomers discovering possible alien life, Kimmel blaming liberals for Trump's win, and the underground Lego black market

Patrick Gutfield delivers biting commentary on Vance's Vatican photo scandal, Trump's pay-to-leave immigration plan, Tesla's seventy-one percent profit collapse forcing Musk to abandon government work, and chimps' surprisingly human drinking habits.

Join Patrick Gutfield on "Ballot" as he dives into Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s war against food coloring, revealing what "Make America Healthy Again" means for your favorite cereals. Patrick also unpacks the shocking "sixty Minutes" executive producer resignation amid a twenty-billion-dollar Trump lawsuit, and discovers why flight attendants are silently judging your decaf coffee order (hint: it involves airplane toilets). This episode serves up biting commentary on Washington's latest antics with the perfect blend of satire and uncomfortable truths that will have you reconsidering both government policies and in-flight beverage choices.

Join Patrick Gutfield on "Ballot" as he delivers biting commentary on Trump's Vatican visit, the papal succession race, and Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem's restaurant robbery incident, all with the sharp wit reminiscent of classic late-night comedy.

Vice President JD Vance's Vatican visit just before Pope Francis' passing, President Trump's Easter social media spree, and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth's escalating Signal chat scandals. Plus, a bizarre case of chainsaw vandalism in downtown Los Angeles just before Earth Day. Patrick Gutfield blends political humor with sharp observations in this roundup of the week's most unusual headlines.

Patrick Gutfield delivers scorching takes on President Trump's miraculous health exam claiming he could outlive dinosaurs, the bizarre new White House decor, Bill Maher's controversial dinner date with the president, and how Trump's twelve Diet Cokes a day are driving White House chefs to culinary deception. Join Gutfield as he slices through political absurdity with the sharp wit that made him America's favorite truth-teller!

Biden emerges after dark to blast Trump's Social Security "hatchet job" while Harvard risks BILLIONS challenging federal demands! Plus: White House chainsaws JFK memorial trees, Trump floats deporting American citizens, and Earth's forests go on STRIKE! Patrick Gutfield brings the heat!

Patrick Gutfield roasts Vice President JD Vance's fumble of the fifty-pound College Football trophy, Trump's power move sending two aircraft carriers to Iran nuclear talks, and the president's shocking blame of Zelensky for "millions dead" in Ukraine. Plus, Boeing's latest crisis - airplane bathroom doors trapping passengers at thirty thousand feet! Gutfield delivers the news with a sharp wit that cuts through political absurdity faster than Vance dropped that trophy!

Patrick Gutfield delivers the HOTTEST political stories with his signature snark! President Trump IGNORES Cheryl Hines at UFC, and demands CBS lose its license in a twenty billion dollar revenge lawsuit.  Plus,  Governor Whitmer HIDES behind folders during an ambush Oval Office appearance, and aty Perry and friends put the "ASS in astronaut" with designer spacesuits on Blue Origin's historic all-female mission!

Patrick Gutfield tackles Trump's attack on shower regulations while defending his "beautiful hair," Colonel Meyers' firing after contradicting JD Vance in Greenland, and the Space Force's new mini satellite jammer (perfect for the militarized soccer mom). Plus, the mysterious case of nearly two hundred vanishing Colorado cows that has the governor hunting "cattle rustlers," and we correct our JetBlue "First Class" mix-up.

The latest episode where Patrick Gutfield takes aim at the political circus surrounding Trump's tariff reversal as Democrats call for insider trading investigations. Plus, YouTube star Mr. Beast challenges the economics of "America First" tariffs, and a breakdown of this weekend's misleadingly-named "pink micromoon" that promises to be slightly less impressive than advertised. Cutting commentary on Wall Street's armchair psychology, political pearl-clutching, and celestial non-events that somehow still make headlines.

Patrick Gutfield delivers hilarious commentary on President Trump's upcoming Walter Reed physical. From Truth Social announcements to imaginary presidential scales that magically add height and subtract weight, Gutfield explores the funny side of White House health checks. Watch Gutfield's take on what Trump's "never felt better" really means and why presidential medical exams might be different from yours.

Patrick Gutfield breaks down how Joe Rogan and Trump's biggest podcast allies Dave Portony and Ben Shapiro are jumping ship as tariffs CRUSH the economy! Watch Wall Street MELTDOWN while Chanel and Gucci executives panic over their six-thousand-dollar bags. Plus: The government's new nine hundred ninety-eight dollar daily immigrant fine that has everyone talking! Even Elon Musk calls Trump's advisers "dumber than a sack of bricks" in this episode more EXPLOSIVE than anything on The Joe Rogan Experience!

Patrick Gutfield delivers explosive commentary on this week's most outrageous political stories! Listen as he exposes Trump's contradictory market crash statements, reveals the REAL reason behind his multimillion-dollar military parade plans, and takes you inside the secret facility where scientists have brought terrifying dire wolves back from extinction! Corporate elites are jumping ship as tariffs devastate Wall Street - find out which billionaires are panicking! Plus, exclusive details on the prehistoric predators now living at an undisclosed location that could change our ecosystem forever. You won't believe what happens next in this can't-miss episode that has Washington insiders and scientists...

Patrick Gutfield exposes the TRUTH about Canada's tourist rebellion against America and ridiculous penguin tariffs! Plus, a 97-year-old tortoise becomes a mother, priceless Beatles tape found collecting DUST in Vancouver, and Wall Street CRASHES harder than your high school reputation! The late night comedy they don't want you to see, so its a morning podcast instead!

Ted Cruz just TURNED on Trump over tariffs that could cost Americans THOUSANDS! Meanwhile, Obama emerges from retirement with a SCATHING critique that has Sean Hannity FUMING! And you won't BELIEVE what King Charles is doing with vegetables at Buckingham Palace while Birmingham DROWNS in garbage and RATS are literally ATTACKING citizens! Patrick Gutfield breaks down the SHOCKING political betrayals and BIZARRE royal behavior that the mainstream media doesn't want you to hear! DOWNLOAD NOW before this episode gets BANNED!

OUTRAGEOUS! Trump SKIPS honoring fallen troops to play golf with SAUDI BILLIONAIRES while Wall Street CRASHES and BURNS! The world's richest people just lost SEVENTY-FOUR BILLION DOLLARS in ONE DAY and Americans are now FORCED to use POTATOES for Easter because eggs cost TOO MUCH! Patrick Gutfield exposes how the President who once ATTACKED Biden for checking his watch at a military ceremony couldn't even be BOTHERED to show up AT ALL! Meanwhile, Musk, Bezos, and Zuckerberg are HEMORRHAGING money faster than you can say "ECONOMIC COLLAPSE!" This is the episode they DON'T want you to hear!

Patrick Gutfield DESTROYS Trump's penguin tariff madness and Wall Street MELTDOWN! Plus, Bruce Springsteen wants $350 for songs nobody wanted in the first place! Catch the show Washington elites DON'T want you to hear as Patrick exposes the TRUTH about empty islands paying taxes and overpriced rock star nostalgia! America's favorite political comedy that tells it like it is!

Patrick Gutfield delivers savage takes on Trump's 'Liberation Day' tariffs, Russia's pearl-clutching, Bill Maher's mind-blowing White House dinner with Kid Rock, and NYC's subway map redesign that somehow forgets to include the rats. Your daily dose of political comedy that'll have you laughing through the pain of higher prices.

Outspoken comedian Patrick Gutfield delivers a devastating takedown of everything from President Trump's gender definitions to Earth's soil crisis in his latest viral monologue. Gutfield's razor-sharp commentary doesn't spare anyone - taking aim at politicians, tech billionaires, and even breakfast spreads with his trademark sarcastic style. Watch as he hilariously explains what really happens to Gen X careers and why Bluesky's anti-Zuckerberg t-shirts might actually save their business model.

Podcasting's most savage host delivers a blistering takedown of Trump's attempt to rewrite American history through the Smithsonian, and imagines Jeff Bezos emerging from a giant Amazon box at his Venice wedding. Gutfield also explores the Vatican's first "millennial saint" with his trademark wit, suggesting Carlo Acutis is "the Justin Bieber of Catholicism." Don't miss his perfect analogy for Trump's museum meddling: "That's like putting me in charge of determining what constitutes haute cuisine. 'This isn't a proper soufflé - it doesn't have enough cheese powder!

Podcasting's  sharpest political comic delivers a savage takedown of Trump's contradictory foreign policy moves. Watch as Patrick Gutfield brilliantly skewers the president's hot-and-cold relationship with Putin ("Trump is simultaneously furious while maintaining their beautiful friendship") and his bizarre obsession with acquiring Greenland ("Nothing says 'reasonable foreign policy' like coveting an autonomous territory that's repeatedly said, 'No thanks!'"). The segment reaches peak comedy when Gutfield describes Vice President Vance's Arctic adventure: "Who would expect a place with 'GREEN' in its name to be covered in ice? It's false advertising!" Don't miss this hilarious dissection of presidential diplomacy that seems more l...

atrick Gutfield exposes the SHOCKING government cuts that will send thousands of federal employees packing! Plus, Elon's "DOGE Squad" promises to slash ONE TRILLION DOLLARS without affecting services (sure, Jan). Then, inside the Vances' CANCELED dogsled adventure in Greenland as Trump plots the ultimate real estate deal. And why your next car might cost TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS more thanks to new "permanent" tariffs! The government is shrinking faster than your wallet in this can't-miss episode of pure political chaos!

Patrick Gutfield explores America's deteriorating international reputation as countries worldwide issue travel warnings about visiting the US. Meanwhile, Greenland fights back against Trump's annexation desires with viral "Make America Go Away" hats that are giving MAGA a run for its money. We'll dissect the awkward timing of JD and Usha Vance's trip to Greenland right after Trump's "one way or the other" acquisition comments. Plus: Denmark and Finland advise transgender travelers to call ahead before visiting America, the UK warns citizens they risk detention for paperwork errors, and a Canadian woman shares her "kidnapping" experience at the border.

National Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard's anti-leaker tweet goes viral just as Trump officials accidentally add The Atlantic's editor to their war plans chat. McDonald's loses its fast food crown to Chinese bubble tea giant Mixue Bingcheng and their fifteen-cent ice cream empire. Plus: Trump's ambitious "Golden Dome" missile defense plan aims to shield America from threats

Join Patrick Gutfield as he skewers the Trump administration's epic Signal chat mishap where National Security Advisor Michael Waltz accidentally added Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg to classified Yemen bombing plans. Laugh along as he mocks Usha Vance's bizarre Greenland diplomatic trip amid Trump's ongoing attempts to purchase the unwilling territory. Cringe at 23andMe's bankruptcy drama where fifteen million Americans' DNA data hangs in the balance. Plus, the petty crime spotlight: a fifty-two dollar dine-and-dash at Cabo Clear Lake that's turning into a full criminal investigation. Politics, privacy invasions, and petty theft.

Join Patrick Gutfield as he delivers the political news with sharp wit and biting commentary. From Miami Beach's surprisingly tame spring break and Barcelona's tourist backlash to Trump's revenge-fueled security clearance revocations, NASA hair conspiracies, and a touching tribute to America's favorite rock-sitting eagle. It's political comedy that cuts through the noise with the perfect blend of snark and substance.

Trump's new jet will make enemies DISAPPEAR! JFK files FINALLY reveal who was REALLY behind assassination! And you won't BELIEVE what this Catholic teacher does after school hours - PARENTS FURIOUS!

Patrick Gutfield BLOWS THE LID OFF two SHOCKING stories the mainstream media won't tell you about! First, the TERRIFYING truth about why potato chips now cost 50% MORE - and it's NOT just inflation! Then, prepare to be STUNNED by the 39 most DISTURBING items washing up on beaches worldwide - including unexploded WWII bombs, prehistoric shark teeth, and literally THOUSANDS of creepy Garfield phones! Number 17 will make you NEVER want to swim again! The elites DON'T WANT YOU to know what's really happening at our shorelines!  This MIND-BLOWING exposé was made with the help of AI but the TRUTH is 100% REAL!