Beyond The Surface

Sammy (Haram Doodles) joins Sam to talk about what it meant to grow up in a Muslim household and the long, complicated process of stepping away from a faith that shaped everything — her identity, her relationships, her sense of what was expected of her. She speaks openly about the grief that sits alongside that kind of departure, the familial pressures that don't simply disappear when your beliefs change, and the particular isolation that can come with being somewhere in between who you were raised to be and who you're becoming. It's an honest, tender conversation about religious trauma beyond th...

Meliesa joins Sam to share what it was like to grow up inside the Two by Twos — a high-control religious group where conformity was everything and the gap between outward appearances and internal reality was vast. She speaks honestly about the psychological toll of an upbringing built around compliance and fear, and the hidden dynamics of abuse that can thrive in environments like this one. What makes Meliesa's story particularly compelling is what she's done with it — she's channelled her experience into creating adult picture books that explore identity and self-acceptance, and the conversation takes a genuinely moving turn when...

Nicola joins Sam to talk about her experience inside the Osho Rajneesh community, a high-control group that doesn't always get the airtime it deserves and what the process of leaving and recovering from that has actually looked like. She speaks openly about the disillusionment that comes when beliefs you once held close begin to fracture, and the particular challenges of rebuilding your sense of self and spirituality in the aftermath. It's a thoughtful conversation about the role community plays in both keeping people inside these systems and in helping them heal once they're out, and Nicola brings a warmth...

In this episode, Sam sits down with someone very close to home; her wife, Chrissy for an honest and personal conversation about Chrissy's journey through organised religion, from a confusing early experience of Catholicism to the demands and contradictions of Pentecostalism, and everything that unravelled along the way. Chrissy speaks candidly about navigating purity culture, the alienation that came with not fitting the mould, and the moment she was outed within her church community, an event that cost her a whole network of relationships she had relied on. It's a conversation about the very real personal toll of religious...

Brandan joins Sam to talk about what it was like to find belonging in a fundamentalist Baptist community at twelve years old and to be a closeted gay kid inside it at the same time. He speaks honestly about the cognitive dissonance of feeling genuinely loved by a community whose theology told him who he was amounted to sin, and the anxiety and fear that slowly built underneath that. The conversation moves through his experience of conversion therapy, the point at which he realised he couldn't keep forcing the two things to fit, and what it looked like to...

In this solo episode, Sam sits with something that doesn't get talked about enough during Pride Month - grief. For queer people who've come out of religious environments, the celebrations of June can sit alongside a very specific kind of loss, and Sam reflects honestly on that tension: the way communal joy can sometimes make private sorrow louder, and why those two things don't cancel each other out. It's a gentle but unflinching episode that makes space for the complexity of being somewhere in between; mourning what was taken from you while also finding your way toward who you...

Jay (they/them) joins Sam to talk about growing up as a pastor's kid, navigating queerness and gender identity within a family deeply embedded in faith, and what it meant to wrestle with all of that while also surviving childhood leukemia. Jay is honest about the toll of living between personal truth and family expectation, and the work it takes to find your own voice when the people closest to you can't meet you there. It's a raw, grounded conversation about identity, religious trauma, and what it actually looks like to start living on your own terms.

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In this solo episode, Sam examines the deeply uncomfortable overlap between domestic violence and high-control religious environments. Specifically, how the same systems that teach women what love looks like also teach them not to recognise abuse when it's happening to them. From submission doctrine to male headship theology, Sam unpacks how religious frameworks don't just fail to protect women from coercive control, they actively provide the language that legitimises it. It's a sharp, necessary episode that pushes back on the tendency to treat domestic violence and religious trauma as separate issues, and reinforces why survivors navigating both deserve support...

Elise Heerde joins Sam for a conversation that is equal parts exciting and meaningful; a behind-the-scenes look at the evolution of their organisation and a heartfelt invitation into what promises to be a landmark community event for survivors of religious trauma and high-control systems. They discuss the growth of the RTC, its deepening commitment to inclusivity and to holding space for people from a wide range of backgrounds and experiences, and what makes this upcoming event different — including an expanded international speaker lineup and a dedicated space for attendees to connect and stay connected long after the event wraps. Th...

Psychologist Joh Knyn joins Sam for a thoughtful and nuanced conversation about dissociative identity disorder. A topic that is so often misunderstood, sensationalised, or flattened into something it isn't. Together they explore the intersection of DID and high-control environments, unpacking how trauma shapes plural identity and what genuine, affirming support actually looks like in a therapeutic context. Joh brings both clinical expertise and a deep commitment to meeting people where they are, and the conversation makes a compelling case for why the mental health field needs to rethink how it approaches and affirms plural identities rather than pathologising them...

Liz Cameron, author of Cult Bride, joins Sam for a conversation that is as grounding as it is eye-opening, bringing her own story and hard-won insight to bear on the realities of life inside a high-control religious group and the long, non-linear road of recovery that follows. Together they dig into the way fundamentalist belief systems shape identity from the inside out, leaving traces that don't simply vanish when you walk away and why that complexity deserves to be named honestly rather than rushed through. Liz speaks with both vulnerability and clarity about abuse, cult dynamics, and the ongoing...

In this solo episode, Sam turns her attention to something that might be uncomfortable to sit with and that's the way progressive, supposedly safe communities can replicate the very dynamics of control and harm that so many of us fled organised religion to escape. Drawing on her own experiences, Sam examines how the instincts shaped by high-control environments don't just disappear when we land somewhere that looks different on the surface, and how even well-meaning communities can prioritise group harmony and reputation over genuine accountability to the people they've hurt. It's a sharp, honest look at the ways dissent...

Alicia joins Sam to offer a candid look inside The Truth also known as the 2x2's - a high-control religious system that receives far less public attention than it deserves. Drawing on her own lived experience, Alicia traces the gradual process of waking up to the inconsistencies within her faith community, the anxiety that accompanied that awakening, and the profound identity questions that surface when the world you were raised in begins to unravel. Together, Sam and Alicia explore the layered grief of leaving; not just a belief system, but a community, a family framework, and a sense...

Clare and Aaron join Sam to share something rarely talked about with this much honesty; the experience of navigating a mixed orientation marriage after coming out later in life, and the particular weight that carries when it unfolds in the shadow of a high-control religious environment. Their conversation explores the emotional complexity both partners face when deeply held theological beliefs collide with the reality of identity, and makes a compelling case for holding space for both experiences without casting blame on either side. It's a thoughtful, generous dialogue that situates personal struggle within a broader systemic context, reminding listeners...

Andrew joins Sam for a conversation that is as honest as it is moving, reflecting on his journey out of a fundamentalist environment and the particular complexity of navigating that path as a queer person. Together they explore the painful dissonance between the safety and belonging religious communities can offer and the alienation that can follow when your identity no longer fits the mould and what it takes to begin rebuilding from that place. Andrew speaks to the role therapy and genuine human connection have played in reclaiming his sense of self, and the two dig into grief not as something to push through, but as a teacher in its own right. It's a rich, layered conversation ...

Easter is supposed to be a time of joy and renewal, but for many who've experienced religious trauma, it can bring up something far more complicated. In this episode, Sam and Elise set aside the conventional Easter narrative to sit with the harder, quieter feelings this time of year can stir up, drawing on their own experiences to explore how themes of suffering, sacrifice, and mandated celebration leave lasting marks on identity and self-perception. From the emotional whiplash between Good Friday's grief and Easter Sunday's compulsory joy, to the internal pressure of feeling like you're doing the holiday "wrong,"...

In this episode, Naomi shares her journey of leaving the Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) world and navigating life after such a high-control environment. She talks openly about the emotional and psychological toll of religious trauma, including the difficulties of estrangement from family and the fear that comes with questioning deeply ingrained beliefs. The conversation highlights the importance of self-kindness, prioritising mental health, and reclaiming autonomy, while also exploring the opportunities for growth, empowerment, and building relationships on one’s own terms after leaving a strict religious system.

Who Is Naomi?

Naomi Norton is a Licensed Ma...

In this episode, Tristan shares what it was like growing up in the 2x2's, a high-control religious group that shaped much of his early life. He reflects on the strange mix of freedom and restriction in his childhood, and the confusion that can come from trying to make sense of both the good memories and the harmful parts of that upbringing. Tristan talks about the lingering impact of indoctrination, while also acknowledging the ways his experiences helped him navigate life outside the group once he left. It’s a thoughtful conversation about holding complexity, making sense of a re...

This solo episode is basically me unapologetically loving Wicked and unpacking why it hits so hard for anyone who’s left a high-control religion. I talk about my deep connection to Elphaba; the “problem,” the scapegoat, the one who won’t stay small and how her story mirrors the experience of choosing authenticity over belonging. We explore the grief and liberation that come with being cast as the villain for stepping outside the system, and why that narrative feels painfully familiar for so many of us.

I also spend time with Glinda, because it’s never that simple. Sh...

In this episode, Sam chats with Katie about what it actually looks like to rebuild life after religious trauma, especially coming out of a strict Catholic environment. Katie shares how growing up in rigid faith shaped her identity, leaving her stuck in perfectionism, people-pleasing, and constantly second-guessing herself. Together, they unpack the idea of redefining spirituality outside organised religion; shifting it from rules and performance into something personal, embodied, and genuinely life-giving. The conversation also gets practical, exploring small ways people can reconnect with themselves through hobbies, rituals, and everyday choices, reminding listeners that recovery isn’t about having it...

For the 100th story episode, the roles flip a little as Sam steps into the guest seat and hands the hosting mic over to Matt, creating space to share more of her own lived experience of religious trauma. Together, they reflect on the complicated grief that comes with leaving high-control faith communities, not just losing beliefs, but losing belonging, identity, and sometimes entire support systems through shunning and judgment. The conversation moves through the emotional weight of trying to re-enter those spaces, the loneliness that can follow choosing authenticity, and the slow process of finding connection again with people...

Stacy shares her long and complicated relationship with fundamentalism and evangelical Christianity, starting with a childhood shaped by strict values rather than overt religiosity, and moving into a born-again faith she found as a teenager while searching for belonging. What initially felt like connection and purpose slowly became transactional, where her worth was measured by how much she served, showed up, and stayed in line. She talks openly about the mental health toll of living under constant religious expectation, and the quiet ways doubt began to creep in long before she felt able to name it. The unraveling accelerated...

Ben shares his story of growing up in a small town in New Zealand, where Christianity initially felt like safety and belonging; until his queerness made that same faith feel threatening and conditional. He opens up about the pressure of staying closeted, the impact of religious trauma, and the fear of rejection that shaped his sense of self. Ben also speaks about a turning point during his time in prison, where unexpected spiritual experiences helped him reconnect with a version of faith that affirmed rather than condemned him. Throughout the episode, we explore how community, friendship, and supportive relationships...

In this episode, Brianna shares her journey growing up in a high-control religious environment and the impact of her mother leaving a restrictive sect while pregnant. She reflects on the effects of purity culture, shame around sexuality, and years of believing she had a sex addiction. Brianna discusses reclaiming her identity, separating her beliefs from her upbringing, and finding empowerment. The episode closes with a message of hope, emphasising the importance of self-discovery and the value of personal stories.

Who Is Brianna?

Brianna Bell is a Canadian journalist and essayist whose work has been featured...

In this episode, Sam sits down with Scott, a journalist and author, to discuss his latest book examining the rise of megachurches and their ties to Christian nationalism. Scott shares his experiences growing up in a Southern Baptist megachurch and explores the power dynamics that often leave congregants feeling voiceless. The conversation highlights systemic issues within megachurch culture, including the exploitation of members, the use of hope as a tool of control, and the consequences of silence around abuse. Scott emphasises the importance of validating the experiences of those harmed and amplifying collective voices to challenge these structures. The...

In this episode, I’m joined by Louise for a raw and honest conversation about intimate partner abuse, faith, and the long road back to self-trust. Louise shares how love, control, and religious beliefs became tangled together, making it hard to recognise abuse while she was inside it. We talk about the ways faith and religious language can be used to justify manipulation, silence doubt, and keep people stuck in harmful relationships, as well as the deep confusion that comes from trying to reconcile pain with beliefs about love, forgiveness, and endurance. Louise reflects on the barriers she faced wh...

In part two of Chris’s story, we explore the shift from denial to self-acceptance as a queer person shaped by faith. Chris reflects on how embracing authenticity accelerated his journey, and how connecting with others who had already walked this path made healing feel possible. We talk about the grief that comes with recognising lost time spent under shame, conversion ideologies, and trying to survive within unsafe religious systems, as well as the complexity of redefining relationships built around a false version of self.

The conversation also turns toward Chris’s role in advocacy against conversion prac...

This episode explores the impact of religious trauma on personal identity, focusing on Chris’s experience as a queer person raised within fundamentalist Christianity. Chris reflects on growing up in a Charismatic Baptist church, where emotionally intense healing practices and fear-based teachings shaped his early understanding of faith and selfhood. He shares how messages about sexuality, particularly the framing of homosexuality as broken or demonic deeply affected his mental health, contributing to years of shame, anxiety, and OCD. As the conversation unfolds, Chris speaks candidly about the painful process of reconciling faith with his authentic self, and the emotional fa...

This episode delves into the complexities of navigating the Christmas season, particularly for individuals grappling with religious trauma. I reflect on both nostalgia and discomfort that arises during this festive period, articulating what I miss from my past experiences within a church context, alongside the burdens I no longer wish to bear. The conversation emphasises the duality of memory; acknowledging the beauty in the rituals and community while simultaneously rejecting the pressures and emotional manipulations that often accompanied them. This episode serves as a space for shared reflection, encouraging acceptance of both the joys and challenges that accompany this...

In this bonus episode, Sam sits down with ex-Mormon therapists Ashley and Melissa to unpack the latest season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives through the lens of religious trauma and deconstruction. Drawing from both their lived experience and clinical work, they discuss the heavier themes woven through the show; sexual assault, childhood trauma, purity culture, and the emotional toll of life inside a high-control religious system. Ashley shares how confronting it can be to watch stories that echo her own, while Melissa highlights the importance of understanding the hidden dynamics that shape these women’s lives. Together, they ex...

In this follow-up episode, Liz and Jesse open up about parenting after faith deconstruction, an experience filled with both healing and unlearning. They reflect on how leaving a high-control church reshaped their ideas of authority, discipline, and what it means to raise kids with curiosity instead of fear. Through personal stories, they share the challenges of guiding children who question everything and the beauty in watching them form their own beliefs. Together, they unpack the shift from obedience to openness, from control to connection, and the daily work of letting their kids feel the full range of being human...

Liz and Jesse join us for a deeply honest conversation about what it means to deconstruct faith while rebuilding a relationship that began inside a high-control church. Liz shares her experience growing up as a pastor’s daughter and the shock of discovering her father’s double life, a revelation that shattered her worldview. Jesse reflects on his eclectic spiritual background and the dissonance of questioning the beliefs that once defined him. Together, they unpack the toll of purity culture, the weight of community expectations, and the struggle to find themselves beyond performance and dogma. Through it all, their frie...

Jeremy shares his experience of growing up within a strict Lutheran sect, offering a candid look at how faith, identity, and his late AuDHD diagnosis intersected throughout his life. From early moments of doubt at just ten years old to the long process of deconstruction that followed, Jeremy reflects on the challenges of navigating a belief system that often discouraged questioning and individuality. The conversation explores how environments rooted in rigid doctrine can stifle self-expression and perpetuate cycles of shame, while also shedding light on the unique ways neurodivergent experiences shape one’s relationship with faith and community. Jeremy re...

In this episode, Brandie opens up about her experience within a commercial cult operating under the guise of a multi-level marketing (MLM) scheme. She reflects on the allure of belonging and empowerment that initially drew her in, and the eventual disillusionment that came with realising the manipulative dynamics at play. Brandie explores the guilt, fear, and loss of autonomy that many, especially young mothers face in these high-control environments. Her journey of leaving the MLM world and rebuilding her sense of self offers a powerful reminder of the importance of self-forgiveness, critical awareness, and community support in reclaiming one’s...

In this powerful episode, Cheryl shares her courageous journey of escaping the Exclusive Brethren, a high-control religious community marked by isolation and fear. Born into a life defined by strict rules and emotional repression, Cheryl recounts her childhood in rural Saskatchewan, revealing experiences of sexual abuse, indoctrination, and deep psychological control. Leaving the group at just 17, she began the long, painful process of reclaiming her freedom and sense of self. Through raw honesty and reflection, Cheryl offers insight into the emotional toll of religious trauma, the importance of community in recovery, and the transformative power of therapy. Her story...

Raised in an unorthodox Mormon family, Ashley shares her journey of navigating faith, identity, and the pressures of patriarchal religious structures. In this conversation, she reflects on the tension of growing up with a non-Mormon father, the weight of expectations within her community, and the shame that often accompanied rigid doctrine. Now a therapist specialising in religious trauma, Ashley offers candid insight into the process of deconstructing harmful beliefs, reclaiming identity, and finding empowerment beyond the confines of Mormonism.

Who Is Ashley?

Ashley Buckner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Utah and California...

Shunned after leaving the Geelong Revival Center, Jodie shares her journey from the insular world of fundamentalist faith to a more expansive and authentic sense of self. She reflects on the love and community she once knew, alongside the rigid expectations and lack of critical thought that shaped her childhood. Candidly exploring the pain of shunning and the challenge of rebuilding relationships, Jodie offers a powerful story of resilience, healing, and the courage it takes to reclaim identity beyond the confines of a high-control church.

Who Is Jodie?

Born & raised in high control pentecostalism (GRC...

Lauren’s story begins with the role of golden child, expected to keep the peace in a high-control family by silencing her own needs and striving for parental approval. Over time, this weight collided with her growing awareness of politics and social justice, sparking questions that clashed with her upbringing and eventually led to estrangement. Her journey captures both the grief of losing family ties and the strength found in choosing authenticity, offering hope to anyone navigating the painful, but liberating, path of self-discovery.

Who Is Lauren?

Lauren Smallcomb is a certified Mind-Body Practitioner whose jo...

Hana, known online as the Suburban Witch, shares her journey of deconstructing a Pentecostal upbringing in Australia and the lasting impact of religious trauma. The conversation explores her childhood experiences of indoctrination, including purity culture, conformity, and the pressure to tie self-worth to rigid belief systems. Hana reflects on the psychological toll of growing up in a high-control religious environment and the courage it takes to reclaim identity beyond it.

Through her story, listeners are invited into a deeper understanding of the resilience and healing that comes with unlearning harmful teachings and embracing authenticity, making this episode...

In this episode, Rachel shares her story of being immersed into the IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles), where the teachings of Bill Gothard shaped her understanding of faith, identity, and community in deeply controlling ways. She reflects on how the subtle mechanisms of spiritual abuse left lasting impacts on her ability to trust, belong, and feel secure in herself, even after leaving. As Rachel traces her gradual disentanglement from the IBLP framework, she sheds light on the resilience required to unlearn harmful teachings and rebuild a life outside of rigid religious control. Her honesty offers listeners both insight...