The Road Less Traveled

Currently going through one of the hardest times of my life. It is especially difficult being self aware and introspective yet you make terrible decisions that have long term effects. I understand and recognize that I'm going through the stages of grief right now. It has helped me to sit with my emotions and try not to act on them, but it also feels like it's tearing my mind and heart apart at the same time. I've been very fortunate that people have been reaching out to me, although it still feels like such a lonely road and hard...

Recovery isn't an easy road, especially when you've hurt the person or people you love the most. It makes you feel like you aren't worth living, deserve to be harmed or have the worst done to you, and makes you want to give up or give in. I'm currently going through all of it. I relapsed with alcohol and destroyed my engagement to my fiancée and there's no desire for reconciliation on her part even though I will always cling to even the smallest shred of hope because that's how I'm wired. The pain is extremely fresh for h...

Raw and unfiltered: I betrayed the trust of my fiancée when I relapsed with alcohol. I hurt her so deeply and shattered her trust to the point where we are no longer engaged and it feels like all hope is lost. I'm afraid, confused, sick to my stomach, and utterly hate myself for doing it. It doesn't help to understand that it was because of my addiction, my dependency on alcohol which changed my mindset, my values, and who I am, since I still made the choice to drink in the first place. I blacked out, went completely o...

On this week's episode, I rehash the past when I was doing film festivals last year... turns out the guy that backstabbed me has been doing it to other people and is now in hot water. Curious to see how that all turns out. I also am going into a slow work season so I'm ready to get back on track with my health, my wealth, and working on me. If you have something you've been putting off, I suggest you hop to it and get it done. Time waits for no one! You can do it. As always...

On this episode I was going to rant and rave about the terrible customer service I've been getting lately. I probably could have gone on and on about poorly trained or inexperienced people, but instead I found myself going with a different tact and exploring the jobs I've been in and the service I've given. I do still let off a little steam near the end because it is incredibly frustrating when you talk to a representative who's literal job is to help fix your problem and they only seem to exacerbate it. Oh well. As always, thank you...

I'm officially a home owner! What a journey. After spending over 5 years in prison I could never imagine being where I'm at currently. It has been a long process and a lot of hard work but entirely worthwhile. On this episode, I catch everyone up on what that process looks like, although I entirely forgot to describe how awful the move itself was... It had just rained in Vegas so it was 105 degrees with humidity. Pretty terrible. We're still unpacking our boxes but we are about 90% settled. Expect more regularity out of the podcast now that I have a...

Happy 4th of July everyone! I've been in the process of closing on a house and getting ready to move. It's been a great time to reflect on my time in prison compared to how great life is now. I'll never forget what I did, even if it was an accident, but it really makes me appreciate the people in my life and the things that I have. I'll always regret that I took that away from someone else, but I can live positively and keep sharing my story in the hopes that it helps someone else out there...

On this weeks episode, I talk about "imagination." It served me well while I was in prison, got me through some hard times, and has also confused me in ways I never thought possible, since I've generally been able to see outside myself and relate to other people. I tell a couple stories from my past, and I ramble as per usual. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. - db

I will never say that bad things have to happen for us to appreciate the good, nor will I say that things happen for a reason, in the sense that there is a bigger picture or grand design. A terrible thing happened because I made the worst decision of my life, and someone lost their's because of it. Now, after working hard and trying to be the best person I can be, not just for myself but for my family, my friends, and my community, I am engaged and about to buy a house. All the good I could...

Thought I'd look up a few prison facts and relate them to my own personal experience in prison. I've always been torn on the idea that incarceration is such a big business and money maker in America. Like all businesses, there's no incentive to reducing/stopping crime, since you're eliminating your product at that point. I should do a follow up and see where these companies are spending there money and if any of it is going towards reform rather than recidivism. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. - db

There is a thing to be said of about timing... and that it's everything. It's funny how things are and aren't working out, but I'd that is timing, too. I've unfortunately been having more prison related dreams, and the last one was quite telling about my disappointment in not getting the job I had applied for and had been given an acceptance letter for. I tried not to get my hopes up and start cashing checks I hadn't earned yet, planning for a future that wasn't here, but the mind does wander and my imagination is quite strong. Oh...

Unfortunately, not good news on this episode. It's not confirmed that I didn't get hired for my felony, but it is basically exactly that. I understand that every denial is okay because of what I did; I have perspective and have been immensely humbled by the hurt that I have caused. Still, doesn't make the pill any easier to swallow. -db

Wow. I don't know when I went over two thousand listens, but thank you for everyone that has given this podcast a chance. I was away for a few weeks because depression is a bitch and comes in many forms. It doesn't have to be surface level, and there are many times when you won't even recognize it because everything is going well in your life. Life has been especially good for me lately, which is why it is difficult to say that I've been feeling sad. On this hundredth episode, I attempt to dissect the root of that...

Apologies upfront for the poor sound quality. I think a lot of it was my allergies and how my whole head feels like it's underwater right now, but there may have been a loose connection as well. I finally settled in to the new place after the move so I'll hopefully feel better soon and will look into my sound issues. It's perfectly understandable, but it doesn't have the usual gusto that I give. Thank you for bearing with me and listening. - db

On this week's episode I reminisce a bit since I'm currently in the middle of moving (again!). It seems I've moved around quite a lot in my life, yet each time has presented new opportunities and new beginnings in my life. I'm openly looking forward to this next one even if it might have some challenges with it. As I've been packing boxes, I've been going through old photos, notes and story ideas I wrote in prison, and taking stock of where I am currently. I forgot to mention it in the episode, but I ended up throwing away...

On this weeks episode I spiral down the rabbit hole and talk about ethics. I try to talk in mostly broad terms, but I do cite a few examples that have stood out to me recently and got me on this line of thinking. Join me as I lose my sanity, stay with me after you've lost yours. Cheers! As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. -db

This episode is incredibly personal to me even though it isn't centered around my experiences in prison. Clark County School District (Las Vegas) is currently facing a $50 million deficit and the people in power are sitting on a mountain of money, refusing to help, even though we are nearly dead last in education. I spent time with hundreds of people in prison who never had the opportunities that education may have been able to afford them. Instead, we continue to blame the offenders after the fact when we never take the time to consider what kindness and investment in...

I've always been observant, and it's helped me navigate living in prison by learning the customs and who to avoid or respect, but it also continues to help me in my day to day life. These are some of the things that have been on my mind lately in regards to what I've noticed. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. - db

On this weeks episode of The Road Less Travel, I rave about the movie "Shot Caller." If you're looking for a movie about prison that is authentic, well written, incredibly accurate, and maybe a little too close to home (for me), this would be the one. I relate it to my own personal experiences and count my blessings that only some of what is depicted in the movie was what I went through because I know for sure it my path could have been much different. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. - db

Happy New Year 2026! Starting off with an episode of positivity and productivity! Not much else to say other than thank you for listening and wish you the best in this new year. - db

[Forgive me for noticing I had a loose wire during my recording. It still sounds okay, but I noticed it after when I was converting it to MP3.] This episode is about my rebound anxiety and coming off of the medication my doctor gave me. Thanks doc! I also make it tie in to more of my nonlinear autobiography and relate it to my experiences in prison. Thanks again for listening and Happy Holidays guys. - db

A little catch up in the beginning because my anxiety and heart are still out to get me, and then a return to form by going back and finishing up another portion of my scattered autobiography. It's all over the place guys, but I appreciate you still listening. Take care. - db

November was one hell of a month and I'm not going to lie, I'm very glad it is over. I hope everyone had a great holiday period. Mine was mostly full of stress and minor hardships to be honest. I am incredibly proud to share with everyone that I did finish my writing goal/contest of typing 50,000 words for www.reedsy.com and will be able to submit my rough draft of a book for agent consideration. It wasn't even close to easy given all the unexpected challenges I faced. At a certain point though, it went from "I...

Unfortunately I was hospitalized again for a panic attack that had my blood pressure through the roof and on the verge of an actual heart attack. Trying to remain positive and productive is hard when your own body is attacking itself. Then the financial aspect kicks in. Stressed that you don't have money? Go visit the hospital and get that bill.... then do it again. I never thought the challenges coming out of prison would be like this, but I'm still thankful to be alive in order to face each day. If you're going through your own challenges in...

This section of my impromptu and scattered biography covers ages 15 1/2 to 20. Yes, you read that correctly. I've been focused on preproduction for a short film that I wrote and want to direct, so I apologize that this one is a few days late and also ill prepared... even by audio diary standards. I do recognize within the episode that a lot of my coping skills to traumatic events is to either ignore them, distance myself, or insulate myself by throwing myself into a project or distraction. It's one of the main reasons I believe I have trauma and anxiety...

I had a brilliant time with a new weight loss program brought to me by stomach flu. I guess my body enjoys the erratic release schedule for these episodes. Today's episode is on recent events in my life (congrats to my friend getting married!) and also one of my favorites simply because I'm in a much better place now both literally and figuratively. I'm truly thankful to still be alive and br able to be kind, be joyful, and be compassionate to the people around me. After years of darkness I've tried to stay in the light. I'd say...

I apologize in advance that the middle portion turns into politics, but this is more of a state of affairs episode in the sense that I was catching up with a friend from prison and we couldn't understand the direction of things. This podcast is entirely for me trying to understand my situation having been in prison and the long term mental and physical affects it's had on me. My friend and I caught up and it had me taking stock of things. Hope if you're out there and you're listening that you're doing well, whoever you may be...

On this weeks episode of TRLT I explain why I've been on hiatus for a couple weeks (hint: it's actually a good thing this time). I also reminisce and explain why I'm so thankful for the life I've led and where I am today. I've been through some incredible tough times in my life, some of my own making, and it's been crazy to look back and think on. Thank you for sharing in that journey. - db

A continuation of my autobiography covering ages 10-16. They were pretty rough years unfortunately, and I've been dealing with a lot of that trauma ever since. It's hard to get closure on family deaths when you lose them at a young age. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. - db

[Note: The plug to my mic wasn't all the way in so it sounds like it gave the recording a hollow sound. I didn't realize until literally the very end. Doh.]

There will always be stories I miss, memories I forget, or moments that escape me... but hopefully I capture more than eludes me. Here are some of the stories I didn't share during the first part of my autobiography story arc. Have fun! As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. -db

I'm finally getting around to the biography portion of this now-not-anonymous podcast. It started as an audio diary to help me cope and attempt to move forward after spending over five years in prison. I blacked out at home and woke up at the scene of an accident I had caused that claimed the life of an innocent person. Nothing said in this podcast/diary is an excuse or an attempt to garner sympathy. I'm still trying to this day to understand the difference between the good person that I was/am, with the person that did something so...

This episode focuses on storytelling as an artform, something that I believe in and also pride myself in. I always had my imagination fostered as a child (in addition to literally being a foster kid). I've come to love storytelling in various artforms and chose to study film and writing in college. I'm excited to share that my friend has tapped me for my expertise as a writer and assistant director for a 48 Hour Film Festival this weekend. I'd been struggling with motivation and feel like I've reignited my passion. Thank you for listening and being respectful. -db

I've been reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear and have been slowly incorporating it into my daily life. After I got out of prison I focused on paying off my financial and legal debts and took a break from reading books. (I had read over 600 books during my time inside so I felt okay with that decision... at the time.) I've realized that I need to get back to some of the routines that I had established when I had minimal distractions. Self improvement seems like a good start. As always, thank you for listening and being...

On this episode of The Road Less Traveled I give a few updates and reintroduce myself and the purpose of this podcast moving forward. It will always first and foremost be an audio diary of my experiences of my five years in prison, but it will also tangentially be related since those years are a part of me and inseparable at this point. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. -db

Freedom of Speech is only true in the sense that you are absolutely free to say whatever you want... and then deal with the consequences afterwards. As always, thank you for being respectful and for listening. -db

I'm clearly upset with things, so just know I go on a rollercoaster rant. (I enjoyed the vent, but I hate the situation.) As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. Hope everyone's doing well out there. -db

We live in a time period where people seem to confuse their belief's and strongly held convictions to be the same if not better than facts. I grew up with a passion for storytelling and went to college to study it as an artform. It blows my mind these days that people continually follow a false narrative or spread misinformation as if it were gospel. Independent thinking is at an all time low and it's only getting worse. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful. -db

All the insecurities, fears, self-doubt, self-hatred, and whatever negative thought you could have about yourself run through my mind like a bullet turned to shrapnel. I hate sharing those feelings with my girlfriend because in times like those it seems to hurt the most when someone is trying to be positive, tell you how much they mean to them, how important you are, the most important person in the world, and yet you only feel like you're sinking lower because you're unworthy of their love and kindness. That's what this experience has been like. But I'm still here. And...

I had what I firmly believe was a mild heart attack a couple days ago. I could go on and on about regrets and feeling sorry for myself, etc., but the biggest thing will always be that I'm sorry for my actions that led to me drinking and driving back in 2016 and killing my victim. I don't regret prison, the loss of opportunities for myself, or how difficult and depressing life has become lately. I only regret the harm I caused. -db

Okay, okay, I'm sorry that it took a topical/political turn but I did try to relate it to my experience in jail/prison. I recorded this episode on time and meant to upload to keep my regularly scheduled programming... but as you might notice in episode 74, that didn't happen, and then things got worse. I'm hanging in there, but it's been more downs than ups lately. -db