Make More Love

The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration, but for many couples, they bring more stress, arguments, and resentment than anything else.

In this episode of Make More Love, relationship strategist Ellen Dorian explains why couples get caught in the same holiday conflicts year after year and how to break the pattern before it damages their relationship.

Through real-life stories and practical strategies, Ellen shares how to turn competing expectations into decisions you can both support.

Why the Timing of the Holidays is Problematic

For business owners, the timing...

What does vacation show you about the life you come home to?

After returning from a wellness retreat in Greece, Ellen reflects on what stepping away from her normal routine revealed about her priorities, responsibilities, relationships, and the pace of her everyday life.

Some of the discoveries were practical. Others came through the people she met, the conversations they had, and the different ways they approached life.

The bigger question came once she returned home: How much of what feels good on vacation can you intentionally build into your real life?

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What if the biggest thing missing from your business plan has nothing to do with the business?

In this episode, Ellen talks about why taking intentional time away can create the space to see opportunities you miss when you’re buried in daily operations. After returning to a wellness retreat in Greece, she shares how the trip gave her room to think about what she wants next year to look like, both in business and in her relationship.

She also explains why traditional strategic planning often spends too much time correcting past mistakes and not en...

Is "The Doghouse" a concept that shows up in your relationship?

You know...when something feels off with your partner, but you can't quite figure out what you did wrong? And you get frozen out.

In this episode, I'm looking at what the doghouse really is and why it's such a common phenomenon.

It could be the result of a serious mistake, or maybe it's a collection of small things like missed requests, forgotten promises, unmet expectations, and attempts to connect that didn't get much of a response.

I'll also tell...

Every relationship includes letdowns, but some failures cause much deeper damage.

In this episode, Ellen explains the difference between a disappointment, a breach of trust, and a full-on betrayal. She looks at the role of intent, why concealment can become the most damaging part of a betrayal, and how your partner’s perception shapes the impact. She also shares practical steps for repairing a breach and a five-step process for rebuilding after betrayal.

Part 1: Disappointment, Breach, or Betrayal?

Ellen breaks relationship letdowns into three categories and explains why the distinction can help you fi...

Ellen continues the conversation about trust by moving from the seven domains of trust into the personal patterns each partner brings to their relationship.

She introduces seven relationship trust archetypes that shape how people naturally build trust, where they may create strain, and what they need to become more intentional about in order to build a high-trust profile with their partner.

Part 1: Trust Is Personal

Trust is not a single quality. It is built through seven domains: safety, security, caring, integrity, fidelity, reliability, and repair.

Each partner brings their own expectations...

In this episode of Make More Love, Ellen takes on one of the most misunderstood issues in long-term relationships: trust.

Most people think about trust in terms of the obvious violations — betrayal, secrets, lies, and affairs. But trust can also erode through the repeated daily letdowns that make a partner feel unsafe, uninformed, dismissed, unsupported, or unable to rely on the relationship.

Ellen breaks trust down into seven practical domains: Safety, Security, Caring, Integrity, Fidelity, Reliability, and Repair. Because if you want to rebuild trust, you first have to know where it is breaking down.

Ellen continues her conversation with Shaun Zetlin, founder of Zetlin Fitness and author of Emotional Fitness. In Part 1, Ellen and Shaun focused on the philosophy and psychology of emotional fitness.

In Part 2, they move into the practical side: choosing the right support, using Shaun’s five mantras, and understanding how emotional fitness shows up inside a relationship.

Part 1: Choosing the Right Support

Ellen shares her own experience with personal training and what she learned from working with trainers who were both helpful and imperfect. Shaun explains why a good trainer needs more than kn...

Ellen speaks with Shaun Zetlin, founder of Zetlin Fitness and author of Emotional Fitness and Push-Up Progression. Shaun shares how being born with club feet, struggling with gross motor skills, and being picked last in gym class shaped his relationship with fitness, confidence, and resilience.

What began as a desire to feel capable in his own body eventually became Shaun’s work as a personal trainer and emotional fitness advocate. In Part 1 of this conversation, Ellen and Shaun explore how the body holds emotion, how early pain can shape adult behavior, and why strength is about more th...

Ellen introduces the Five-Point Relationship Operating System — a practical, structured framework built from the same tools high-performing business owners already use every day. This isn't therapy. This isn't communication tips. It's a system. And you already know how to run one.

When your business takes off, it demands everything you have. And while you're navigating that chaos, everything else in your life starts running on autopilot — including your relationship. The problem is that autopilot isn't a strategy. It's a slow drift toward a crash.

Point 1: Strategic Planning: Ellen walks you through a SWOT analysis for your...

Ellen continues her conversation with Bill Storm — Peak Performance Strategist and veteran of both the Tony Robbins organization and the John Maxwell Leadership Team — diving into three things that keep high-performing business owners from having the conversations that matter most.

Part 1: Blame Blame isn't one thing — it's three. Ellen breaks down fair blame, unfair blame, and self-blame, and gives you a practical strategy for handling each one. The goal isn't to avoid blame altogether. It's to stop letting it run your life.

Part 2: Judgment Judgment hits differently than blame because it goes after your identity — not what...

In this season opener, Ellen sits down with Bill Storm — Peak Performance Strategist and veteran of both the Tony Robbins organization and the John Maxwell Leadership Team — for a candid conversation about what really happens to your relationship when you're deep in the work of building a company. Bill opens up about his own 25-year marriage, and the conversation gets real—fast!

Part 1: The Blind Spot Business owners are wired for optimism. It's what makes us great at building companies — and it's exactly what makes us miss the warning signs in our relationships. Ellen and Bill talk about th...

In this Valentine’s Day special episode, Ellen Dorian dives into the history, meaning, and modern-day pressures of the holiday. Whether listeners are diehard romantics or Valentine’s Day cynics, Ellen provides practical advice and creative ideas to help them plan a day that fits their relationship. From understanding their partner’s expectations to avoiding last-minute stress, this episode is packed with insights to make Valentine's Day a meaningful and stress-free experience.

Part 1: Understanding Valentine's Day

In this special holiday episode, Ellen Dorian reflects on the Spirit of Generosity, a concept she learned from her father and continues to embody in her coaching. Through heartfelt storytelling, she introduces the five aspects of generosity—emotional, relational, philosophical, action-oriented, and legacy-focused—and shares actionable ways to bring these into your relationships. This episode is a guide to creating deeper connections, fostering trust, and leaving a meaningful legacy for your loved ones.

Part 1: A Holiday Story About Generosity

In this heartfelt bonus episode of the Make More Love Podcast, Ellen Dorian addresses the complex emotions that can arise during the Christmas season, especially for those who feel isolated, disconnected, or out-of-step with the festivities. Drawing from personal experiences and real client stories, Ellen offers compassionate strategies for coping with holiday loneliness, respecting individual traditions, and rebuilding meaningful connections—both with ourselves and those we love.

Part 1: Navigating the Overwhelm and Outside Expectations

Ellen opens the episode by acknowledging the saturation and pressures of the Christmas season, emphasizing that not everyone celebrates—and for many...

The holiday season can transform what should be magical moments into stressful, pressure-filled events—especially for high-performing men balancing relationships, business demands, and personal fulfillment. In this insightful solo episode, host Ellen Dorian shares the practical "GGG Principles"—Gratitude, Generosity, and Grace—as anchors to help couples thrive and deepen connection through the holidays (and beyond).

Part 1: The Reality of Holiday Expectations

Ellen explores how holidays often shift from childlike excitement to a time burdened with overwhelming expectations, emotional baggage, and pressure to deliver for loved ones—particularly if the relationship is already strained.

Part 2...

Ellen Dorian addresses the stress and conflict that holidays bring to high-performing business leaders, particularly business owners facing Q4 pressures alongside personal obligations. She introduces a strategic planning approach to transform the holiday season from a source of tension into an opportunity for connection. Through the story of client Bill and his wife Gina, Ellen demonstrates how joint planning, clear boundaries, and shared ownership can prevent the annual cycle of holiday resentment that often leads to January's "divorce season."

Part 1: Understanding Holiday Pressure Points

- Recognition that holidays arrive during Q4 chaos for business owners.<...

Ellen Dorian explores how business owners can strengthen their relationships by treating their partnership as the foundation that holds everything else together. Drawing from a Trevor Noah podcast quote about spending time with his father, she examines the cost of making unilateral business decisions without partner input. The episode provides a framework for integrating business and relationship priorities through structured communication, tiered decision-making, and weekly alignment meetings.

Part 1: The Cost of Exclusion

- Ellen shares a quote from Roy Wood Jr. about being along for the ride rather than truly included in his father's life.<...

Ellen Dorian shares insights from her 10th anniversary Viking river cruise, highlighting three key moves for long-lasting relationships: acceptance, longevity, and defaulting to yes.

Part 1: Acceptance in Long Term Relationships

- Recognizing and appreciating your partner's authentic self

- Distinguishing between tolerance, resignation, and genuine acceptance

- Example: Steve's acceptance of Ellen's coffee house visits

Part 2: Longevity and Vitality

- Importance of physical, mental, and emotional health in relationships

- Observations from the cruise demographic

- Connection between personal vitality and relationship strength<...

Ellen Dorian analyzes the movie "The Roses" as a case study for relationship decline, illustrating Make More Love's Hierarchy of Relationship Needs and Spiral of Decline models. She breaks down the film's plot, highlighting key disruptions that lead to the couple's downfall, and relates these to common relationship issues faced by high-performing individuals.

Part 1: Introduction and Movie Analysis

- Ellen introduces the episode's focus on "The Roses" as a relationship case study

- Explanation of why this movie is an ideal example for the Make More Love model

- Breakdown of...

Ellen Dorian discusses strategies for managing conflict in relationships, introducing the concept of "passionate problem solving" as an alternative to cold war and hot war conflict styles. She outlines two pathways: early intervention and radical repair, drawing inspiration from kink and BDSM protocols and Japanese apology frameworks.

Part 1: Understanding Conflict and Early Intervention

- Esther Perel's three categories of conflict: power and control, respect and recognition, care and closeness

- Recognizing personal "tells" that signal emotional escalation

- Implementing kink-inspired protocols: safe words, negotiated agreements, and aftercare

Part 2: Radical...

Ellen Dorian explores hot war fighting tactics in relationships, discussing the escalation from Cold War to Hot War styles of conflict. She breaks down the spectrum of conflict, from bickering to brutality, and offers insights on recognizing and addressing unhealthy patterns.

Part 1: The Spectrum of Conflict

- Bickering as the turning point from Cold War to Hot War

- Arguing as a conscious form of conflict

- Fighting as a more aggressive, theatrical form of conflict

- Brutality as the dangerous extreme of relationship conflict

Part 2: Understanding...

Ellen Dorian explores the concept of "never fighting" in relationships, discussing various reasons why couples might claim they don't fight and the potential implications for their relationship health.

Part 1: Reasons for "Never Fighting"

- Disengagement and avoidance

- Temperament and perceptions

- Philosophy and healthy skills

Part 2: Analyzing "Never Fighting" in Relationships

- Looking beneath the surface

- Attacking the problem, not each other

- Practicing conflict resolution on small issues

Part 3: The Importance of Healthy Conflict

- Distinguishing...

Ellen Dorian, host of Make More Love, shares insights from her unexpected vacation in Lisbon, emphasizing the importance of balancing structure and spontaneity in both business and relationships. She discusses the need for resilience, planned breaks, and creating systems that allow for personal time off without compromising business operations.

Part 1: The Importance of Planned Breaks

- Ellen's unplanned vacation in Lisbon highlights the need for breaks before burnout

- Resilience as a core principle in Ellen's coaching model

- The balance between planning and spontaneity in business and life

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Ellen Dorian addresses a listener's question about whether to end a long-term relationship, offering insights on recognizing emotional attachment, repairing relationships, and considering the hidden costs of divorce.

Part 1: Analyzing Emotional Disengagement

- Emotional clues indicating persistent attachment to a relationship

- The significance of anger, bargaining, and seeking validation

- Statistical insights on marital conflicts and desires for change

Part 2: Strategies for Relationship Repair

- Three-step approach to relationship improvement

- Importance of committing to repair regardless of outcome

- Shifting mindset...

Ellen Dorian discusses common mistakes made in restaurants that can ruin date nights, offering practical advice to enhance romantic experiences and strengthen relationships.

Part 1: Restaurant Etiquette and Date Night Atmosphere

- The importance of making reservations

- Avoiding rudeness towards restaurant staff

- Refraining from extreme menu customization

- Handling complaints discreetly

Part 2: Financial Considerations and Tipping

- Avoiding price audits and money talk at the table

- Handling tipping gracefully

- Checking menu prices online before the date

...

Ellen Dorian discusses the importance of enjoying time with your partner and offers strategies to bring fun and playfulness back into relationships, especially for busy professionals.

Part 1: Rediscovering Joy in Relationships

- Ellen emphasizes the significance of simply enjoying being together

- Introduces the concept of "affinity" from her relationship hierarchy of needs

- Encourages listeners to reflect on their favorite activities with their partner

- Addresses the challenge of relationships on autopilot due to busy lifestyles

Part 2: Strategies for Rekindling Fun

- Suggests recreating...

Ellen Dorian discusses the importance of balancing business growth with maintaining a healthy relationship. She emphasizes the risks of neglecting one's partnership while focusing solely on business success, and offers strategies to protect and nurture both aspects of life.

Part 1: The Blind Spot in Business Coaching

- Ellen shares insights from a recent business coaching conference

- Highlights the common oversight of relationship health in business coaching

- Introduces the concept of relationship autopilot and its pitfalls

Part 2: Common Relationship Delusions for Business Owners

- Explores five...

Ellen Dorian discusses the importance of intrinsic passion in relationships, focusing on sex and intimacy. She explores why passion fades, differences between men and women, and provides strategies to reignite passion.

Part 1: Understanding Passion in Relationships

- Sex as the "glue" of healthy relationships

- Differentiating between sex, passion, and intimacy

- Reasons for loss of interest in sex for men and women

- Rejecting the idea that passion naturally fades over time

Part 2: Rekindling Passion

- Three core habits supporting intrinsic passion: Vitality, Intimate...

Ellen Dorian discusses intentional presence as a crucial element in building passionate partnerships. She breaks down this concept into three core habits: attentiveness, authenticity, and resilience.

Part 1: Attentiveness

- Keeping focus and paying attention to your partner

- Active listening and remembering important details

- Weekly planning meetings and daily check-ins

Part 2: Authenticity

- Showing up as your true self and respecting your partner's truth

- The importance of honesty and integrity in building respect

- Avoiding the pitfall of not fully knowing...

Host Ellen Dorian discusses the three core principles successful couples practice to maintain strong, lifelong relationships. She introduces the first principle, "Inclusive Purpose," and explains its importance in creating alignment and avoiding common relationship pitfalls.

Part 1: The Three Core Principles of Successful Relationships

- Inclusive Purpose

- Intentional Presence

- Intrinsic Passion

Part 2: Exploring Inclusive Purpose

- Definition: A harmonious sense of direction that honors both partners' values, dreams, and needs

- Three supporting habits: Harmony, Unity, and Clarity

Part 3: Implementing Inclusive Purpose<...

Ellen Dorian challenges the popular notion that "all you need is love" in relationships, arguing that this oversimplified view can lead to failed marriages. She discusses why love alone isn't sufficient for building resilient partnerships and outlines what's truly necessary for long-term relationship success.

Part 1: The Problem with "All You Need is Love"

- Love is not enough to sustain long-term relationships

- Believing love is all you need can cause you to ignore real issues

- Love is not a strategy for solving relationship problems

- This belief...

Host Ellen Dorian dissects dangerous relationship advice, offering insights on love imbalances, misguided solutions, and the importance of proactive relationship maintenance.

Part 1: The Dangers of Unequal Love

- Explores the advice: "Be with someone who loves you more than you love them"

- Discusses the negative impacts of this approach on relationships and self-worth

- Highlights the importance of mutual love and respect in partnerships

Part 2: Misguided Solutions for Relationship Problems

- Analyzes common "radical" solutions people try when relationships struggle

- Examines why these...

Ellen Dorian dissects three pieces of bad relationship advice, offering insights on maintaining effort in marriage, handling conflicts, and the importance of apologizing. She provides practical strategies for nurturing long-term relationships and maintaining passion.

Part 1: Debunking "You Don't Have to Impress Anyone After Marriage"

- Marriage doesn't mean stopping self-care or effort

- Continued investment in oneself shows respect for the partner

- Maintaining attractiveness contributes to intimacy and desire

Part 2: Addressing "Never Go to Bed Angry"

- Misinterpretation of biblical advice

- Forcing late-night...

Ellen Dorian kicks off Season 2 of Make More Love by addressing bad relationship advice, categorizing it into vague, dumb, and wrong. This episode focuses on vague advice, highlighting its ineffectiveness and offering practical alternatives.

Part 1: The Problem with Vague Advice

- Ellen introduces three types of bad relationship advice: vague, dumb, and wrong.

- She emphasizes the importance of proper diagnosis in relationship issues.

- Ellen introduces the Make More Love Relationship Dynamics quiz as a diagnostic tool.

Part 2: Analyzing Vague Advice

- "Communication is key"...

Welcome to Season 2 of Make More Love

This is the relationship podcast for high-performing business leaders — where you won’t get the standard relationship advice. Why? Because the life you live demands more than the Average Joe.

You carry more responsibility, navigate higher stakes, and solve bigger problems than most people ever will. But the traits that make you successful in your business life — decisiveness, focus, speed — can work against you in your love life.

That’s why this show doesn’t give advice. It gives you something more actionable: A plan. A framework. A...

Today, we’re answering real listeners’ real questions—in real time. These aren’t hypotheticals. These are the exact moments real men are living through right now. From growing resentment during the grind of entrepreneurship, to being blindsided by a breakup, to feeling stuck in a sexless marriage—these stories are raw, honest, and painfully common.

This episode offers direct insight and powerful next steps for three of the most frequent and emotionally charged issues I hear from high-performing men. If you’ve ever thought “This isn’t how I thought it would go,” this one’s for you.

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In the second part of this deeply personal interview, Ellen breaks down the real-life lessons behind Manny Wolfe’s extraordinary story — from surviving a cult to confronting addiction and rebuilding his life. But this episode isn’t just about extreme experiences. If you're a business owner/entrepreneur trying to understand the connections between love, money, and self-knowledge, this episode will speak directly to your experience.

Ellen draws a direct line from Manny’s journey to the everyday challenges faced by high-performing men in relationships: solving the wrong problems, falling short of your own values, and overthinking instead of takin...

In this first part of a two-part conversation, Ellen Dorian sits down with speaker, author, and coach Manny Wolfe to explore how early life experiences, unresolved trauma, and subconscious patterns can trap us in relationship dynamics that feel like endless loops. From cult survival to addiction recovery, Manny brings raw honesty and deeply reflective insight into how our past silently shapes our present — especially in love.

This episode offers a candid look at how personal responsibility, emotional awareness, and a willingness to “do the work” can help us break those loops, even when the outcome is still uncertai...

Summary

Part 1: Why Vacations Matter

Ellen shares why vacations aren’t just for rest—they’re essential to creative thinking, leadership clarity, and strong relationships. She explains how time away creates space for emotional reset, presence, and reconnection with your partner (and yourself).

Part 2: Business, Boundaries, and Burnout

A reality check for entrepreneurs: If your business can’t run without you, it’s not scalable—or healthy. Ellen explains why systems, delegation, and leadership clarity are critical not just for growth, but for protecting your relationships and freedom.

Part 3: What Actuall...