The Big Drink Rethink

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 145

Why do so many of us feel we need a drink to be confident at parties, gatherings, even among friends? In this episode, Anna Donaghey untangles the deep-rooted belief that alcohol provides confidence, and invites you to question where that story really comes from.

With lived experience and psychological insight, Anna guides you through the "costume" we put on with every glass, and the subconscious beliefs driving our drinking behaviours. She breaks down the science behind nerves and explains why true confidence can't be poured from a bottle and...

Who am I? What do I stand for? What kind of life do I want to live? These aren't questions reserved for lecture halls. If you've ever tried to change your relationship with alcohol, you've already been asking them.

This week, Anna Donaghey is joined by Peg O'Connor, professor of philosophy, author and a woman in long-term recovery, to bring philosophy out of academia and into everyday life. Together they make the case that anyone grappling with change is already a philosopher at heart.

Peg shares her lived experience of addiction and what it taught...

This episode explores one of the most persistent beliefs about drinking: the idea that alcohol is essential for relaxation. If you've ever found yourself reaching for a drink after work or on a quiet afternoon almost automatically, you're not alone. Your host Anna Donaghey shares how this learned habit is driven by deep-seated beliefs, many of which never truly belonged to us in the first place.

With clarity and compassion, Anna examines the gap between what alcohol actually does in our bodies and the soothing myth we've been sold. She explores why we come to...

This episode touches on addiction and on the loss of a child to a fatal overdose. It's a tender one, so please take care whilst listening. And if that's not something you have capacity for today, it's completely okay to come back another time.

What if the person you love is slipping away beneath the weight of addiction, and you’re left battling shame, silence, and a culture that blames individuals while ignoring the deeper crisis? In this profoundly moving episode, Anna Donaghey speaks to Katie Rizzo, a mother who lost her son Nicholas to a...

What if reaching for a drink when life feels overwhelming isn’t actually helping you cope, but is instead blocking your real resilience? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey unpacks the powerful belief that “alcohol helps me cope” and why it might be time to rethink it.

Anna walks listeners through how our beliefs drive our thoughts and behaviours, using real-life examples and her own experience during maternity leave, to break down the difference between numbing and coping.

You’ll learn how to identify the underlying beliefs fueling your urge to drink wh...

What if the craving you feel for a drink is actually a craving for relief, regulation, or connection, and there’s another, more healing way to get it? In this episode, your host Anna Donaghey is joined by breathwork practitioner Jon Paul Crimi, whose powerful personal story weaves together addiction, grief, emotional numbness, and a breathwork experience that profoundly shifted his life.

They discuss why most people reach for alcohol (it isn’t what you think), how drinking becomes our “solution” for regulating uncomfortable emotions, and the striking similarities between addiction and the universal longing for a sh...

What if your drinking is driven less by choice and more by invisible beliefs running beneath the surface? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey breaks down how beliefs act as our “operating system,” quietly driving our thoughts and behaviours, especially around alcohol. Anna reveals why it’s so difficult to spot the beliefs shaping our drinking, how to distinguish between a thought and a belief, and why simply changing behaviour rarely works unless you dig deeper.

With practical examples and the “reverse chain” technique (starting with your behaviour and working backwards), Anna offers clear tools, including...

What if the life you’re chasing, and the drinking that comes with it, are both keeping you from the life you really want?

In this honest conversation, Anna Donaghey welcomes recovery and transition coach Alina Roselli, who shares her journey from living “outside-in” - seeking validation, people-pleasing and pushing through burnout, to soul-led sobriety and deep self-acceptance.

Together, they explore why we can lose ourselves trying to meet other people’s expectations, how burnout and exhaustion can force us to question the life we’re living, and why transformation isn’t simply about giving up alcohol...

What if your drinking habits aren’t really about alcohol at all, but about the quiet, powerful beliefs sitting beneath the surface? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey dives into the “Pyramid of Belief”, a simple framework that explains how deeply-rooted feelings of “not enough” shape much of our behaviour, including drinking.

Using lived experience and insights from Dave Gray’s "Liminal Thinking," Anna breaks down how our early experiences, the culture we grow up in, and the swirl of online comparison, all reinforce beliefs like “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not interesting enough,” and “I’m not enough, full stop...

Why does alcohol seem to have a different, more intense pull for some people - and could undiagnosed ADHD be the missing piece of the puzzle? In this episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Matt Wing, a midlife mentor who spent over 30 years in a cycle of high achievement and high-functioning drinking, before a late ADHD diagnosis reframed everything.

Together, they explore the misunderstood relationship between ADHD and alcohol use, bust the myth that it’s a simple willpower problem, and break down the real, neurological drivers behind compulsive drinking.

Highlights:

Why do high-flying CEOs, investors, and ultra-successful leaders, people with every resource at their fingertips, still end up stuck, lonely, and reaching for a drink?

In this episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Lindsey Frances, a leadership psychologist. Together they unpack the universal experience of feeling trapped by drink, the myth that outer success delivers inner fulfilment, and why human suffering pays no attention to your bank balance.

Is the pull to drink really about stress, status, or socialising, or is it something deeper: unmet needs for purpose, connection, and calm? As Lindsey and Anna...

What if all the sleep scores, step counts, and readiness reports in the world still leave you missing the point? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey unpacks the paradox of our “self-quantified” age: we collect endless data about our bodies, yet remain confused about why we reach for that Friday night drink.

Why do so many of us meticulously track our health and download optimisation apps, but still pour a glass (or two) at the end of the week even though the data says it’s a bad idea? Anna explains why metrics alone can’t change behaviou...

What if the real reason you feel stuck around drinking isn't a lack of willpower or information, but simply that your thinking can't yet see another way? Anna Donaghey is joined by Doug Fleener, author of "Start with What If" and creator of the "What If Rule", a simple, three-step practice for creating new perspectives in real time.

Drawing on his own journey from addiction to leadership roles at Bose Corporation, Doug shares how change really happens: through interruption, curiosity, and asking different questions. Together, he and Anna explore why curiosity trumps willpower, and how tiny shifts...

Summer is supposed to be the easy season, so why does it so often leave us more tired, pressured, and frazzled than ever? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey unpacks the myth of the "restful summer" and the invisible standards that pile up as the weather warms: be the memory-maker, the joy-creator, the calm presence. It's a pressure that fuels depletion and quietly drives the urge for an evening drink, not for pleasure, but as an off-switch when rest feels out of reach.

Drawing on psychologist Donald Winnicott's idea of the "good enough" parent, Anna reframes what...

"I'm drinking less on Mounjaro, should I see this as a win?" It's a question landing in Anna Donaghey's inbox more and more, and in this listener Q&A episode, she gives it the thoughtful answer it deserves.

Medications like Mounjaro, originally prescribed for diabetes and weight management, are quietly dialling down people's desire for alcohol often without them even trying. Anna explores what the emerging research tells us about GLP-1 drugs and the brain's reward system, why the effect on cravings may not last, and why it's so important not to skip the deeper work of...

What if your next holiday could tell you more about your drinking than any ordinary day? Anna Donaghey is joined by travel writer and longtime non-drinker Teresa Bergen to explore why holidays are such a flashpoint when it comes to alcohol.

They unpick the cultural scripts that equate travel with "letting go," the invisible pressure to drink in airports, at resorts, and on work trips, and how travel can act as a mirror for your relationship with alcohol. Teresa shares decades of sober travel, surprising lessons from writing The Sober Travel Handbook, and the vividness of seeing...

What if summer didn't have to be scripted by booze? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey answers a listener's question: "What does it actually mean to get curious about my drinking this summer?"

Anna dismantles "summer scripts", the invisible associations between alcohol and fun, relaxation, or connection. Instead of forcing abstinence or restriction, she offers a gentle, practical process: What are you really looking forward to at each event? What job are you asking alcohol to do? What meaningful moments might you notice if you step out of autopilot?

Whether you...

What if summer didn’t have to be “powered by” alcohol? In this episode, Anna Donaghey invites sobriety and life coach, Casey McGuire Davidson, to unpack why the summer and its long evenings, and sunny terrace, feels so tangled with the urge to drink. Is it really about the Aperol Spritz… or are we longing for something deeper, like freedom, nostalgia, or a younger version of ourselves?

Together, they challenge the myth that summer is for “letting go” and drinking, and instead explore the possibility that these months could offer more: clarity, energy, presence, and real joy.

What if sobriety was just the beginning, not the destination? In this episode, Anna Donaghey sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Sarah Michaud, who draws on over 40 years of recovery and professional experience to explore the deep link between codependency, control, and unfulfilled needs. While getting sober is a huge step, Sarah reveals why the work often starts after the drinking stops as we swap one “fix” for another: relationships, work, food, or anything to soothe an uneasy mind.

Together, they explore where codependency begins, how it shows up in everyday choices (from dinner to major life patt...

What if rethinking your relationship with alcohol wasn't about restriction, but about discovering a new version of yourself? Anna Donaghey introduces a raw and funny conversation between the Gavin Sisters, who went from "beer-swigging, Chinese takeout comedy double act" to thriving, teetotal vegan wellness entrepreneurs.

Starting with Sharon's health crisis, the Gavin Sisters share how identity naturally shifts when you let go of the rituals that no longer serve you. Through illness, single motherhood, and career shakeups, they show how quitting drinking can open up a bigger life. If you worry you won't be "you" without alcohol...

Is your evening drink a true choice or just a well-worn ritual your brain expects at the end of every day?

Your host Anna Donaghey breaks down the hidden psychology behind the “wine o’clock” habit. She explains the science of habit loops, why willpower alone can’t break the cycle, and offers a step-by-step framework for gently rewiring your automatic drinking response. Discover practical, compassionate tools to recognise your real needs and build a life that genuinely satisfies them with no white-knuckling required.

If you feel stuck in the routine of pouring a drink as the s...

What if that evening glass of wine isn't just a habit, but your body reaching for balance it's missing elsewhere?

Anna Donaghey is joined by certified clinical nutritionist Beverly Meyer to decode the neuroscience behind our relationship with alcohol, specifically GABA, the nervous system's key calming neurotransmitter, and why modern life is quietly depleting it. Beverly shares practical, food-first strategies to genuinely restore GABA levels and explains why your body is always trying to help you, never sabotage you.

If you've ever wondered, "Why can't I just say no to that drink?", this episode is...

What if alcohol isn’t just a habit, but quietly shrinking the size of your world, dulling joy, and making ordinary pleasures feel like “not enough”? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey shares honest insights from her own journey, exploring how drinking can subtly narrow both what you do and how much you feel.

She unpacks the concept of the “hedonic threshold,” showing why your favourite activities may start feeling flat, and how even small milestones (like a child’s birthday) come to feel incomplete without a drink. Anna also gets real about what happens when you start to cut...

What if rethinking your drinking didn’t start with “giving up” alcohol, but instead you created the kind of life you don’t want to escape from? In this episode, Anna Donaghey sits down with adventurer and educator Belinda Coker to explore how rediscovering adventure, nature, and forgotten passions can quietly make alcohol fade into the background, no willpower or rock bottoms required.

They talk honestly about growing up with normalised drinking, the “aha” moment that prompted Belinda to get hiking boots back on, and now teaching others how action, not theory, builds real confidence. She shares practical ad...

Parties are supposed to be fun. So why does going alcohol-free feel so hard in a room full of drinkers? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey draws on years of experience as an alcohol mindset coach and as someone who still actually goes to parties, to give you the toolkit she wishes she'd had.

This one is practical from start to finish. Anna walks you through how to prepare before you arrive, what to bring, how to handle the "just have one!" brigade, and how to manage that rising self-consciousness when the energy in the room starts...

Why does alcohol feel essential to parties, celebrations, and big social events? And what’s really at stake when you rethink your drinking in those spaces? Anna Donaghey is joined by Evan Cudworth, a self-described “party coach,” who shares his personal journey through alcohol-fueled confidence, alter egos, and radical new rituals.

Together, they explore why we outsource energy and confidence to booze, how nostalgia can keep us stuck, and why the real “party” has to start within. Evan Cudworth breaks down his unique framework for building confidence and joy without alcohol and offers stories from both wild raves and...

What does it really mean to “show up” in your life and how is that different from simply “turning up”? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey explores one of the most honest motivations she hears from people rethinking alcohol: the desire to be present. She shares why presence goes so much deeper than physical attendance. Alcohol is often used as an emotional buffer, and what’s possible when you start showing up as the unfiltered version of yourself at home, at work, and in every room you enter.

Anna offers a powerful reframe: real presence is not just a ski...

What happens when the strategies we rely on to avoid pain, achievement, busyness and constant momentum stop working?

In this powerful conversation, Anna Donaghey is joined by April Day Garcia, author of The Room to Be Brave: Sometimes the way forward begins with going back, to explore how avoidance can hide in plain sight, especially for high-functioning people disguised as success.

April shares how chasing achievement and belonging led her further from herself, with alcohol acting as a quiet form of escape. When a period of forced stillness changed everything, she began the deeper work...

What really drives us to reach for alcohol, and why is avoidance so quietly powerful in our habits? In this episode, Anna Donaghey unpacks the psychology behind using alcohol as a coping mechanism, revealing how it silences discomfort and acts as a fast-acting state change in our modern lives. Drawing from her own lived experience and insights from her Substack “The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab,” Anna explores how avoidance is not weakness, but a deeply human strategy rooted in our biology and history.

She dives into the difference between signals (those uncomfortable feelings and nudges) and stat...

Why do we agonise over disrupting the social flow by saying “no thanks” to a drink, even when alcohol is quietly disrupting so much more in our lives? In this thought-provoking solo episode, Anna Donaghey explores the micro-moments of clarity that often crop up when we consider changing our drinking habits. Drawing from a recent conversation with Ry Gavan, Anna explores how alcohol quietly sits behind so many social occasions, becoming a synchronised ritual, yet the real disruptions to our wellbeing are often overlooked, minimised, or accepted as “just life.”

She examines the tension between the fear of socia...

What happens when we question alcohol’s role as the backdrop to almost every social moment? In this powerful episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Ry Gavan from DRiNKLiNK, a Scotland-based charity supporting families affected by someone else’s drinking, for an honest conversation about the ripple effects of alcohol in our lives.

Rather than focusing solely on “extremes,” Anna Donaghey and Ry explore why alcohol’s real power lies in its expectation: its presence at celebrations, commiserations, sport, family gatherings, and so much more. They explore the underlying fear of social disruption when someone opts out, the tensio...

Who are you, really, if you remove alcohol from your life? In this deeply thoughtful solo episode, Anna Donaghey takes on the big, unsettling question: “Who am I if I don’t drink?”

Rather than focusing on willpower or missing out, Anna Donaghey explores the real, often unspoken identity shifts that happen when we rethink our relationship with alcohol. With psychological insight, lived experience, and practical tools, she explores why alcohol feels like more than a habit, it becomes a social uniform, a signal for belonging, and even a “scaffolding” for how we move through life.

Explorin...

How do you truly start over, and what does real reinvention look like? In this episode, Anna Donaghey talks with Andrew Drasen, author, speaker, and survivor about life beyond sobriety, diving into identity, purpose, and hope.

Andrew’s journey goes far beyond addiction, spanning imprisonment, loss, and the search for meaning. He shares his struggles with self-image, rebellion, and choices that led to incarceration, as well as the heartbreak of losing loved ones, including his fiancée Caroline.

Together, Anna and Andrew explore how we cling to unsustainable identities, and how radical acceptance, creative rebuilding, and...

Does our past define us? In this insightful episode, Anna Donaghey explores a quietly powerful truth: you are not fixed. You are not your history, your habits, or the coping mechanisms that once helped you survive.

She guides you into the transformative space between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming. Uncovering how old beliefs and identities, especially around drinking, can unconsciously shape your choices and keep you attached to outdated versions of yourself. With a thoughtful blend of philosophy, neuroscience, and her signature warmth and honesty, Anna invites you to question what you’ve been c...

We’ve taught young people how to achieve but have we taught them how to feel, struggle, and grow? Host Anna Donaghey is joined by consultant Joanna Lilley, who works with young adults at the crossroads of high school, university, and early adulthood, to explore why so many high-achieving students feel anxious, overwhelmed, and unprepared for life.

Together, they discuss the emotional blind spots shaping a generation, from overprotection and crisis-driven support, to the relentless pursuit of perfection and the lure of numbing out through tech, alcohol, and quick fixes. You’ll also hear practical ideas for buil...

What if making one intentional, alcohol-free day didn’t have to feel like a test of willpower or a white-knuckle challenge you had to survive? In this practical solo episode, your host Anna Donaghey shares a clear, step-by-step structure for what a supported, intentional day off drinking can look like in real life.

Inspired by a listener who found Dry January a “white-knuckle ride,” Anna explores why sustainable change isn’t about deprivation or strict rules, but about adding support, care, and intention into your day. She’ll walk you through gentle but powerful tools you can use: from...

What if the limits we feel around age, change, and possibility aren’t real but simply old, worn-out stories we’ve inherited? In this energising episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Allison Davis, traditional naturopath and author of ‘Sixty is a Good Start: A Powerful Body, a Purposeful Life, and a Plan to Make it Happen’, to bust wide open the myth that it’s ever “too late” to rethink your life or your drinking.

Together, Anna and Allison explore the deep-seated cultural scripts that tell us when we should want less, slow down, or shrink our dreams. Alliso...

What if change doesn’t start with a dramatic rock bottom or a grand decision, but with the tiniest flickers of awareness? In this reflective episode, Anna Donaghey shines a light on those often-overlooked “tiny clarity moments”, the split seconds when you see your drinking, and your habits, with fresh honesty.

Anna shares personal stories and insights from her work as an alcohol mindset coach, exploring how real transformation rarely starts with ultimatums or huge declarations. Instead, it begins with small, honest realisations. Noticing when a drink isn’t actually enjoyable, seeing the mismatch between the promise and real...

Is it possible that drinking isn’t really the problem or at least, not the whole story? In this episode, Anna asks you to rethink your relationship with alcohol by shifting the focus away from simply how much or how often you drink, to what deeper needs might be driving the habit in the first place.

Anna explores why we treat alcohol as the main issue, and how it’s often just the “smoke, not the fire.” Instead of fixating on willpower or self-control, she dives into the real desires beneath drinking: rest, relief, connection, pleasure, escape.

You...

Have you ever wondered why even after a few alcohol-free weeks, life can feel flat or why it feels so hard to say “enough” in a world of endless overconsumption? In this transformative episode of The Big Drink Rethink, Anna Donaghey sits down with Dr. Anna Lembke, psychiatrist, author of Dopamine Nation, and Stanford Addiction Medicine Director, to explore how alcohol hijacks our reward system and what it really takes to rediscover joy and meaning, beyond the next drink.

Dr. Lembke explains why life can feel “meh” after quitting drinking and how the brain slowly recalibrates, making real sat...