Healing Anxious Attachment

Why do so many of us find ourselves drawn to emotionally unavailable men - again and again?

In this episode, we unpack how low self-worth, harsh self-talk, and struggles like body dysmorphia and disordered eating quietly shape our relationship patterns.

We get into why breaking this cycle isn't about mindset or strategy. it's about the body and the nervous system, and why the real work starts before the relationship even begins.

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Join me inside Becoming Her - the group where self-aware women who are ready to go deeper than therapy come...

He cancels plans, his tone shifts, he says he's busy, or needs space..and suddenly you're spiraling, convinced this is the moment he leaves.

In this episode, we talk about that panic and how to tell the difference between when it's time to self-soothe and give him room, and when it's actually time to have a conversation.

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Join me inside Becoming Her - the group where self-aware women who are ready to go deeper than therapy come to liberate themselves from their wounds and patterns and into magnetism and mature love.

Getting a man who's willing to commit isn't about being more available, liking what he likes, or being "perfect." It's the opposite.

In this episode: slowing down instead of rushing in, asking yourself how does this make me feel, paying attention to his communication and choices, and keeping your options open. Because staying in your power starts with staying with yourself first.

Join me inside Becoming Her - the group where self-aware women who are ready to go deeper than therapy come to liberate themselves from their wounds and patterns and into magnetism and mature...

I'm sharing why those "small" triggers feel big. Why you might feel activated from a text left on read, or 'that tone' from someone you love.

It's rarely actually about the small thing.

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Go Deeper with Johanna

Join me inside Becoming Her - the program where self-aware women who are ready to go deeper than therapy come to liberate themselves from their wounds and patterns and into magnetism and mature love.

-and more! First 7 Days Free >>...

I'm taking you behind the scenes of my own relationship and sharing the 5 things I noticed about my now-fiancé that told me - this one is different.

After years of dating avoidant men and convincing myself the anxiety was just chemistry, experiencing security for the first time was genuinely disorienting. I almost didn't trust it.

In this episode I cover the five signs that changed everything for me - from the way he showed up on day one, to the moment he was willing to walk away rather than pressure me, to what it finally f...

We're getting into why dating triggers anxiety that shows up nowhere else in your life, and what your attachment system is actually doing when real feelings are involved.

If love is the one area where all your internal composure goes out the window, this one will help you understand why.

Join me inside Becoming Her - the group where self-aware women who are ready to go deeper than therapy come to liberate themselves from their wounds and patterns and into magnetism and mature love.

You know you over-give. You know you find it hard to receive. You've probably known for a while.

So why hasn't anything changed?

In part 2, we get into what's actually keeping you stuck - and what it looks like to start softening without losing yourself.

Join me inside Becoming Her - the group where self-aware women who are ready to go deeper than therapy come to liberate themselves from their wounds and patterns and into magnetism and mature love.

You handle everything. You've built a life that proves you don't need anyone.

So why does it still feel like nobody really sees you?

In this episode, we get into why the very thing that makes you so capable is the same thing keeping real intimacy out - and where it all started.

Join me inside Becoming Her - the group where self-aware women who are ready to go deeper than therapy come to liberate themselves from their wounds and patterns and into magnetism and mature love.

An episode about Internal Family Systems. The psychology framework to identify the different parts of ourselves and how they interplay (or sabotage) us.

Join me inside Becoming Her - the group where self-aware women who are ready to go deeper than therapy come to liberate themselves from their wounds and patterns and into magnetism and mature love.

-and more! First 7 Days Free >> Join Us

No one is born with anxious attachment style. So the short answer is yes, you can change your attachment to secure!

In this epsiode you'll learn:

•⁠ ⁠Why no one is born with anxious attachment, and what actually created yours

•⁠ ⁠How your mother's nervous system shaped yours before you even had words for it

•⁠ ⁠Why books, therapy, and podcasts haven't been enough, and what's missing from most healing approaches

•⁠ ⁠The difference between knowing better in your mind and your body actually catching up

Join me live for coaching and somatic...

An episode to listen to when you're feeling anxious right now. Or, listen now and save the teaching for later 🫶🏼.

We also touch on how to regulate your emotions, come back to your own sense of safety, and create a more grounded, secure way of relating.

See in you in there!

GO DEEPER WITH JOHANNA 🦢

Join me inside Becoming HER - the place you come when therapy and books haven't been enough. For the woman competent in other areas of life, but anxious in relationships.

We're diving into the dynamic between anxious women and non-committal men, and how over-availability and trying to hold everything together can unintentionally create the very outcome you don’t want.

We also touch on why anxious tendencies attract avoidant partners, and what truly creates the space for a man to step forward, invest, and choose you.

See in you in there!

GO DEEPER

Join me inside Becoming Secure - a 3 Phase Method for changing your attachment from anxious to secure at the nervous system level 🧡

In a world that often glorifies constant closeness, this episode explores the power of space within relationships.

We dive into the concept of polarity - how attraction thrives when there’s a sense of individuality and magnetism between two people. Because when you’re always merged, something can start to fade.

We also touch on why space can feel especially important for avoidant partners and why many men, in particular, value freedom as a way to feel safe and open.

See in you in there!

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One week you feel empowered, hot, regulated, grounded, making progress. The next you're spiralling, your inner critic is screaming, and you're convinced you've undone everything you've worked for. It's not a a setback - it's your internal winter.

In this episode, we cover the four seasons of your cycle and how to eat, move, and schedule your life accordingly.

Plus the specific codes that helped me personally reduce luteal phase irritability.

You'll learn what cycle syncing looks like if you're on birth control, and an intro to seed cycling as an easy hormonal...

What if your relationship with food isn’t just about food?

In this episode, I share my own struggles with disordered eating and anxious attachment, and the surprising parallels I’ve noticed between the two. From craving reassurance in relationships to seeking comfort or control through food, these patterns often stem from the same place - fear of abandonment, lack of safety, and a deep need for control.

This is a conversation about the emotional roots beneath these behaviours and what healing has looked like for me as I’ve started building more security within myself...

I asked chatgpt to play interviewer and focus on what would bring you the most value. Some of the questions we covered are:

"What's one moment in your healing anxious attachment journey that really changed the game for you?"

"When we hear that the other person isn't ready to deepen a relationship what's one practice we can do to deepen our self trust in those moments?"

"What's one daily ritual or mindset shift you'd recommend that can help women stay on track, especially on the tough days?"

"Many women feel their...

In this episode, we explore what it means to move from forced to self-sourced. When external crutches like validation, and good-girl syndrome aren't enough and you’re called to become your own anchor.

This conversation unpacks the emotional shifts, inner resilience, and self-trust that are built when you stop outsourcing safety, validation, and direction.

If you’ve found yourself gripping and forcing to hold yourself through uncertainty, this episode is an invitation to step into deep self-reliance, inner security, and embodied confidence.

👑 ✨ SELF-SOURCED 8 Week Group Program Waitlisted 👑 ✨ Learn more.

An 8 week initiation int...

In this episode, we dive into what it truly takes to become secure within one year.

This conversation breaks down the key shifts, practices, and mindset changes required to transform your inner world.

If you're ready to step into a version of yourself that feels calm, confident, and worthy of love, this episode is your roadmap to getting there. 🌟

Join Becoming Secure

Learn more here: https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/-ep44

🧡

The holidays can be triggering, here's how to protect your peace.

This episode covers:

-How you can bring more depth and feeling into your traditions

-5 ways to clear and protect your energy

-Discerning when to have the intense conversations

Go Deeper into you Inner Work Journey:

Join the Becoming Secure women’s membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work to heal anxious attachment 🧡

learn more here 💐

In this episode, we explore what happens when you finally meet a good, emotionally available man, but your anxious attachment starts to panic.

We talk about why healthy love can feel unsafe when you’re used to chaos, inconsistency, or having to prove your worth in relationships. You’ll learn how to recognize when your nervous system is reacting to safety as unfamiliar, and how to start soothing that part of you that expects love to be hard.

This conversation also touches on the difference between genuine connection and emotional intensity, and how to stay ground...

In this episode, we dive into the toxic cycle of tying our value to how much we achieve or produce and why it pushes away healthy love.

We talk about what happens when our reality revolves around being busy, rather than being fulfilled. And how women suffer when pleasure, joy, and creativity fall to the bottom of the list.

This conversation also explores how perfectionism and the need for control can pull us further from ourselves.

Enjoy!

Go Deeper:

Join the Becoming Secure women's membership to learn how to...

If you’ve ever held out for someone’s potential because you could feel how good they are deep down… this episode is for you.

We’ll talk about:

Join the Becoming Secure women's membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work to heal anxious attachment 🧡

learn more

Release anxious energy on every level, from shifting your perspective to completing the stress cycle, holding discomfort, and using somatic practices to create real relief.

I explore how to release anxiety on every level: the mental layer (shifting perspectives and letting go of rigid expectations), the physical layer (rest, hormones, and completing the stress cycle), the emotional layer (building the capacity to hold discomfort), and the subconscious layer (somatic practices and parts work).

DO THE INNER WORK

Join the Becoming Secure women's membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work...

The inner critic and negative self-talk often feels like our own voice, but many of its harsh words aren’t truly yours. In this episode, I unpack how limiting beliefs get handed down through parents, teachers, and society, and how even one painful comment can loop in the mind as self-criticism. You’ll also learn how projections shape the way you see yourself and others, and I’ll guide you through a simple questioning process to dismantle unhelpful beliefs so you can move toward a kinder inner dialogue.

In this episode, you’ll:

Trauma isn’t only about life-threatening events, it’s also the smaller wounds and unmet needs that shape how we think, feel, and protect ourselves.

In this episode, we explore the layers of the mind (conscious, subconscious, unconscious), the difference between Big T and Little T trauma, and the trauma response or defense systems that develop as a result.

You’ll learn how the body holds these memories and why healing through somatic work can feel surprisingly safe and natural.

Go deeper inside Becoming Secure. A high-touch Women's Group with live workshops and Q&A ca...

Your body has a default survival pattern like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn which shape how you respond to stress, emotions and triggers. In this episode, you’ll learn how to recognize these patterns, understand your “window of tolerance,” and work with your nervous system to feel calmer and more in control.

By the end you'll

One of the most powerful things you can do on your healing journey is get good at knowing and trusting what you need — not what you were told to need, not what you think you should need, but what your body and heart are truly craving.

This episode answers a question from a Becoming Secure Community Member who asked: “How do I even know what my core needs are? And once I do… how can I meet them on my own?”

Together, we explore:

In this episode, I’m talking about why receiving often feels uncomfortable — especially for women with anxious attachment — and how this survival pattern shows up in your body and your relationships.

We’ll explore:

And if you’re ready to shift this not just in your mind, but in your body — join me for my upcoming live workshop: Held – Letting Love In. In the Becoming Secure Membership.

In the worksho...

You never “need” anything. But underneath, you’re anxious, and wishing to feel more held.

In this episode, we explore what happens when high-functioning anxiety plays out in relationships — from early dating to long-term partnership.

And most importantly, how it impacts your ability to be met, supported, and chosen.

You’ll hear:

You look like the woman who has it all together — grounded, reliable, composed.

But underneath? You’re feeling urgent, worried, and overthinking. Managing everything. And maybe quietly unraveling.

This episode is for the high-achieving, high-functioning woman who knows something feels off but can't break through on it.

We’re talking about the kind of anxiety that hides behind performing calm.

Inside, we’ll explore:

We talk so much about how anxious attachment plays out in romance—but what about friendship?

If you’ve ever felt too sensitive, too intense, or too dependent in friendships—or you’ve abandoned them for romance—this conversation is for you.

In this episode, I explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways anxious attachment shows up in our platonic connections: overthinking texts, people-pleasing, jealousy, and the pain of feeling replaceable. We also look at deeper patterns—like recreating dynamics with your mother or sister, using male friendships as emotional placeholders, and disappearing from your friends when a new l...

If you’ve ever felt guilty for having needs, setting boundaries, or taking up space—this episode is for you.

We’re unpacking the kind of guilt that doesn’t come from doing something wrong, but from trying to stay safe.

For those of us with anxious attachment, guilt can feel like a constant hum in the background—shaping our choices, silencing our truth, and keeping us small.

In this episode, I’m diving into:

After a breakup, it’s easy to feel lost—like you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. In this episode, we’re diving into how to reconnect with you after a relationship ends.

We’ll explore what that relationship revealed about you, where you may have lost yourself, and the moments that felt out of alignment. I’ll guide you through ways to help you reclaim your identity and step back into your truth.

Connect with me on Instagram @johhhannamaria. Please send me a DM letting me know that you're coming from the podcast! 🧡

Breakups are hard, but if you have an anxious attachment style, they can feel almost unbearable. In this episode, I’m diving into why breakups hit so hard for AA women, the weight of fresh grief, and how to move through it with clarity and self-honoring choices.

We’ll talk about the power emotional release, the importance of clear boundaries (especially when no contact might be the best option), and how to stay anchored in your truth—even when it feels impossible.

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As always you're invited to join me in the Becoming Secure Member...

It can feel like anxious attachment runs you. Doubt, fear of relationship ending, and low confidence are symptoms of something deeper that your body wants to release and heal.

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Becoming Secure Membership 🎆

Learn more here.

Valentine’s Day can bring up a lot—comparison, overthinking, and that deep desire to be chosen. In this episode, we’re unpacking why V-Day feels so triggering for anxiously attached women and how to shift from chasing love to attracting it—starting with yourself.

Join the Becoming Secure membership, click for info

Here’s what we cover in this episode:

💔 How anxious attachment amplifies fears of rejection & abandonment on romantic holidays

📱 The IG highlight reel vs. reality (with real life examples)

🚫 Why Hollywood’s “grand gestures” & perfect Valentine’s fantasy are messing with...

What is a genuine need and what is me attempting to seek validation? How can I leave conversations when I don’t like where it’s going but don’t want to be rude? I feel isolated because don’t look to others for support, I feel safe when I maintain the control what do I do? 

During this episode I share answers to highly relatable questions from inside the Monthly Membership. Join for live calls, somatic practices, and to have me support you in your growth and healing process.

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Did you like this style...

In this episode, we dive into what it truly takes to become secure within one year. Whether you're healing anxious attachment, building self-trust, or creating healthier relationships, this conversation breaks down the key shifts, practices, and mindset changes required to transform your inner world. If you're ready to step into a version of yourself that feels calm, confident, and worthy of love, this episode is your roadmap to getting there. 🌟

Join the Becoming Secure Live Call membership and receive a 30% discount for the whole year 🧡.

If you’ve ever felt stuck on your self-love journey or wondered why it doesn’t feel as deep as you’d hoped, this episode is for you. Discover the essential practices, inner and outer work, and mindset shifts that create a true, lasting sense of self-worth.

✨ Go Deeper and Join the Becoming Secure Membership

When you join this women-only membership, you’ll discover how to:

and become the

You’ve always been the one who gets it done—the problem solver, the caretaker, or highly self-reliant. But under that strong exterior, there’s a part of you that feels anxious, unseen, or unsure in your closest relationships.

In this episode, we’re diving into the paradox of being a strong, high-achieving woman with anxious attachment tendencies, and the desire to feel TRULY seen and rest into a man. We’ll explore:

✔️ Why does “the capable one” get overlooked

✔️ Which past experiences of self-reliance create barriers to intimacy, and how can they be overcome

✔️ H...