The Dom Sub Living BDSM and Kink Podcast
Welcome to the Dom Sub Living Podcast, your go-to kinky resource, so you can get out of the vanilla rut, become the best Dominant or submissive you can be, and make BDSM a lifestyle. Explore the many facets of the Dom/sub lifestyle and gain practical insights and tips to enhance your journey.Your host, Alesandra Madison, is a renowned BDSM educator, empowering individuals and couples to embrace their sensual selves. As the creator of Domsubliving.com, Alesandra promotes sex education, healthy power dynamics, and open communication. With a commitment to inclusivity, she helps kinksters create authentic and fulfilling intimate e...
How to Push Your Sub’s Limits (Without Going Too Far)
#163 How far is too far when pushing your sub's limits? We're sharing how to explore BDSM limits without crossing hard boundaries. Learn how safewords, communication, trust, and aftercare can help you build a safer, stronger D/s dynamic. Listen now to learn how to push your sub's limits without going too far!
➡️ Get your questions answered privately in our All-Access Pass: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
➡️ Join our free community: https://domsubliving.com/community
How Kinky Are You? 10 Questions That Reveal Your Kink Level
#162 How kinky are you REALLY? You might be surprised! In this episode, we sharing 10 questions to help you discover your kink level and kink personality type. Are you a Vanilla Newbie, BDSM Connoisseur, BDSM Expert, Kink Chameleon, or something else entirely? We'll explore your desires, experience, and what your answers say about you. Listen now to find out where you fall!
➡️ Take the free kink level quiz: https://domsubliving.com/quiz
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/162
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
What Is Monster Kink? (And How to Try It Tonight)
#161 What's so hot about monsters? And why are so many people into monster kink? In this episode, we're exploring what monster kink is, why it appeals to Doms and subs, and how it connects to BDSM and power exchange. Plus, I'm sharing 5 fun ways to try monster roleplay tonight, even if you're a beginner! Share this episode with your partner, or someone you'd love to explore kink with!
➡️ Free step-by-step kink scene guide: https://domsubliving.com/kink
➡️ Join our free community: https://domsubliving.com/community
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: htt...
4 Dominant Skills Most Doms Overlook (But Subs Notice)
#160 Subs notice things about their Dom's leadership that their Doms don't even realize! In this episode, we're sharing 4 overlooked Dominant skills that can make or break your D/s dynamic. Whether you're a Dom or sub, you'll learn how to build trust, strengthen your connection, and create a more fulfilling BDSM relationship. Listen now to see what you might be missing!
➡️ Free "How to Be a Good Dom" Quickstart Guide: https://domsubliving.com/Dom
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/160
Expires Oct. 21: 3 Keys to a Killer D/s Dynamic
Missed the free training? You can still watch the replay—but only for a limited time!
🔥 Head to https://domsubliving.com/masterclass now to watch the full video training, complete with step-by-step visuals and graphics.
In this episode, we're sharing the audio from 3 Keys to Creating a Killer D/s Dynamic. You’ll learn how to build confidence, create deeper connections, and add structure to your dynamic—whether you’re a Dom, sub, or switch. These steps have already transformed so many lives, and now it’s your turn.
🚨 Don’t wait—enrollment for our Dom Sub Trai...
Consensual Non-Consent (CNC): BDSM's Darkest Kink?
#159 How can “no” still be consensual? Consensual non-consent (CNC) is one of BDSM’s most misunderstood practices. We’re breaking down what CNC really means, why people want it, how consent and safewords work, and what can happen after a scene. Is CNC really BDSM’s darkest kink? Listen now and decide for yourself.
➡️ Download the FREE BDSM Contract:: https://domsubliving.com/cnc
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/159
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
4 Kinky Challenges for Doms and Subs
#158 Has your D/s dynamic started feeling a little too vanilla? These 4 kinky challenges for Doms and subs can help you shake up your routine, build anticipation, deepen your power exchange, and bring fresh energy back into your BDSM dynamic. And yes, we’ve personally tried every one! Listen now, then share which challenge you’re taking!
➡️ Free list of 20+ protocols: https://domsubliving.com/protocols
➡️ Download your free 'Yes/No/Maybe' list https://domsubliving.com/checklist
Expectations of a Submissive: What You Need to Know (and What You Don’t)
#157 What should a Dom expect from their sub, and what should a sub expect from their Dom? In this guest episode, Luna from Submissive Guide breaks down healthy D/s expectations, BDSM rules and protocols, communication, and red flags to avoid. Whether you're a Dom or sub, learn how to build a stronger D/s dynamic without unrealistic expectations. Listen now!
➡️ Check out Luna's site: https://submissiveguide.com
➡️ Listen to her podcast, Submissive Guide: https://podfollow.com/1528814283
➡️ Join their Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/subguide
Weird Things I Do as a 24/7 Submissive for My Dom
#156 What “weird” things does a 24/7 submissive actually do for their Dom? I’m sharing 5 things from my real-life D/s dynamic that even other people in the BDSM lifestyle think go too far. We’ll explore submission, power exchange, and what 24/7 Dom/sub really looks like beyond a scene. Listen now and ask yourself: Would I do any of these?
➡️ Free 'How to Be a Good Sub' Cheat Sheet: https://domsubliving.com/sub
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/156
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
How We Handle Jealousy in Our D/s Relationship
#155 Can jealousy actually damage your D/s dynamic? Learn how we handle jealousy without letting it wreck trust, roles, or connection. We cover communication, boundaries, insecurity, compersion, and jealousy in polyamory, non-monogamy, and monogamous dynamics. Listen now to build a stronger, more secure Dom/sub relationship.
➡️ All-Access Pass: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
➡️ Join our free community: https://domsubliving.com/community
8 Ways to Make Your Sub Feel More Submissive Every Day
#154 What if making a sub feel more submissive only took 10 seconds? In this episode, discover 8 surprisingly simple ways to deepen submission, strengthen your D/s dynamic, and bring more kinky power exchange into everyday life – without needing elaborate BDSM scenes or more intensity. Listen now and choose one to try today.
➡️ Free list of 20 D/s protocols: https://domsubliving.com/protocols
➡️ Join our free community: https://domsubliving.com/community
10 Things Every Good Dom Does Differently
#153 Think being a good Dom means being stricter or more in control? Think again. Discover 10 things great Doms do differently – from how they handle rules and punishment to the surprising way they build trust, obedience, and confidence in their sub. Steal these habits for your own D/s dynamic and listen now.
➡️ FREE quick start guide to become a better Dom: https://domsubliving.com/dom
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/153
How Far Is Too Far? Exploring BDSM Humiliation Play
#152 How far is too far with BDSM humiliation play? Explore degradation and humiliation kink, from setting boundaries and using safewords to aftercare, communication, and ideas for beginners and advanced players. Learn how to push limits while protecting trust in your Dom/sub dynamic. Listen now to discover how far you can safely take humiliation play.
➡️ List of 50 degradation & humiliation ideas: https://domsubliving.com/degradation
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/152
How to Get Your Partner Interested in BDSM (Without Nagging)
#151 What if your partner isn’t rejecting BDSM, they’re rejecting the pressure? Learn why nagging and hinting backfire, how to talk about kink without topping from the bottom, and how to get your partner more engaged in your D/s dynamic. Listen now to learn what actually works.
➡️ Grab The Partner Transformation Toolkit™: https://domsubliving.com/toolkit
➡️ Get our weekly newsletter: https://domsubliving.com/signup
How (not) to Train Your Sub
#150 What if the reason your sub seems "bratty" has nothing to do with them? Learn five common training mistakes that can create resistance instead of trust. Discover how better communication, consistency, and leadership can build a more obedient, devoted submissive and a stronger D/s relationship. Watch now and tell us which mistake surprised you most.
➡️ Free list of 50 D/s protocols: https://domsubliving.com/protocols
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/150
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
The Hard Truth About Inconsistent Doms
#149 How many times should you believe, 'I'll do better'? Whether you're the Dom struggling to stay consistent or the submissive wondering how much longer to wait, this episode is for you. Learn how to identify the real problem, improve communication, and decide whether your D/s dynamic is worth fighting for. Listen now before making a decision you'll regret.
➡️ Grab our FREE BDSM resources: https://domsubliving.com/free
➡️ Join the All-Access Pass: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
10 BDSM Rules You Should Probably Break
#148 You've been told these BDSM rules are non-negotiable. But are they? We're challenging 10 of the most common BDSM "rules", revealing which protect you, which are outdated, and which may be holding you back. Press play and challenge everything you thought you knew.
➡️ Free list of 50 kinks: https://domsubliving.com/checklist
➡️ Sign up for our FREE newsletter: https://domsubliving.com/signup
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
Free Use & Blanket Consent (Is Your Relationship Ready?)
#147 Free use sounds simple... until you actually try to build it. In this episode, We explain what free use and blanket consent really mean, how they work together, and the signs your relationship is ready for this level of trust. Listen now to find out if your relationship is truly ready for free use.
➡️ Download your free BDSM contract: https://domsubliving.com/contract
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/147
Part 4: The 4-Part Framework for BDSM Mastery
What if you're only missing one piece of the puzzle that's keeping you from the thriving Dom/sub dynamic you've always wanted?
Welcome to Part 4 of our special 4-part Jumpstart Your BDSM Journey Bootcamp podcast series!
In this final episode, you'll learn:
The complete 4-part framework for mastering the BDSM lifestyleThe biggest myths that keep Dominants and submissives stuckWhy skills, mindset, mentoring, and community all work togetherHow to stop piecing together conflicting BDSM adviceWhat it takes to build a thriving, long-term Dom/sub dynamic with confidence🎥 Want the complete bootcamp exp...
Part 3: How to Stop Letting Life Kill Your BDSM Dynamic
What if the reason your Dom/sub dynamic keeps fading isn't a lack of desire, but a lack of a sustainable plan?
Welcome to Part 3 of our special 4-part Jumpstart Your BDSM Journey Bootcamp podcast series!
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why most Dom/sub dynamics lose momentum over timeHow to create BDSM rituals and routines that actually stickSimple ways to balance BDSM with work, family, and everyday responsibilitiesThe secret to staying consistent without feeling overwhelmed or burned outHow to adapt your dynamic as life changes while keeping your connection strongPart 2: The Top BDSM Skills Every Dom & Sub Needs
The strongest Dom/sub dynamics aren't built on toys or techniques, they're built on the right skills.
Welcome to Part 2 of our special 4-part Jumpstart Your BDSM Journey Bootcamp podcast series!
In this episode, you'll learn:
The most important BDSM skills every Dom and sub should masterWhy communication and negotiation are the foundation of every healthy D/s relationshipHow to use safety protocols, safe words, and aftercare to build trustPractical skills for both Dominants and submissives to grow with confidenceThe common mistakes that hold people back from creating a thriving BDSM lifestyle
<...
Part 1: How to Discover Your Deepest BDSM Desires
What if the biggest thing holding you back in BDSM isn't your partner... but not knowing what you truly want?
Welcome to Part 1 of our special 4-part Jumpstart Your BDSM Journey Bootcamp podcast series!
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why understanding your deepest BDSM desires is the foundation of a thriving Dom/sub dynamicThe biggest mistakes that keep people feeling stuck in their BDSM journeyHow to identify your desires, boundaries, and long-term goalsWhy clear communication creates stronger, healthier D/s relationshipsThe first practical steps to building a consistent and fulfilling BDSM lifestyle<...
How to Avoid the Vanilla Rut in Your D/s Relationship
#146 Has your D/s dynamic started feeling a little... vanilla? In this episode, we sharing simple BDSM habits that help you stay consistent, build trust, strengthen your Dom/sub relationship, and avoid the vanilla rut – even when life gets busy. Listen now and discover the small daily changes that can make a big difference.
➡️ Access the free Resource Library: https://domsubliving.com/free
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/020
5 BDSM Experts Share What Everyone Gets Wrong (But No One Says)
#145 What if the biggest mistake in BDSM isn't what you think? Five top BDSM educators reveal the most common mistakes in Dominance, submission, consent, communication, trust, and personal growth. Their answers all point to one surprising truth. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and subscribe for more.
– Justine Cross: https://www.thejustinecross.com
– Luna from Submissive Guide: https://shop.submissiveguide.com/products/the-submissives-toolbox
– Maja from Obedience App: https://app.obedienceapp.com/home
– Chris Maxwell Rose from Pleasure Mechanics: https://www.pleasuremechanics.com/the-podcast/
– Princess Rara from Pink Kink...
How to Keep Your D/s Dynamic Alive When Life Gets Busy
#144 If your D/s dynamic only exists when life is easy, that might be why it keeps falling apart.
What do you do when stress, illness, family obligations, or major life changes push your Dom/sub role to the back burner? In this episode, I share the mindset shift that changed everything for me and how to identify the non-negotiables that keep a BDSM relationship strong during life's busiest seasons.
As you listen, ask yourself: What are the non-negotiables that keep you connected to your role, your partner, and your dynamic no matter what life...
How to Be More Dominant Without Being a Jerk
#143 Most new Dominants make the same mistake: they water themselves down because they're afraid of becoming the stereotypical Dom everyone rolls their eyes at. In this episode, we're sharing how to step into authority without becoming controlling, arrogant, or mean – and why that fear may be holding your dynamic back. Listen now and discover what real dominance looks like.
➡️ Free 'How to be a Good Dom' Quick Start Guide: https://domsubliving.com/dom
➡️ Subscribe to our free newsletter: https://domsubliving.com/signup
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess<
The Secret Queer History of Kink Nobody Talks About
#142 Did you know modern kink culture has roots most people never learn about? In this episode, we're exploring the hidden connection between kink, queer history, leather culture, Pride, consent, and radical self-ownership. Discover how BDSM helped build community, challenge shame, and create space for authentic self-expression. Listen now and see kink history in a whole new way.
➡️ Free kink personality type quiz: https://domsubliving.com/quiz
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/142
5 Easy Dom/sub Protocols You Can Start Using Today
#141 Want a stronger D/s dynamic without adding complicated rules? Start here. I'm walking you through 5 beginner-friendly protocols straight from my own relationship — what worked, what flopped, and one protocol that sparked a wave of online controversy. Listen now and pick one idea to try this week.
➡️ Join the conversation: https://domsubliving.com/community
➡️ Free list of 20+ protocols: https://domsubliving.com/protocols
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
What Should a Submissive Actually Be Doing in 24/7 D/s?
#140 “Am I supposed to just wait for direction… or take initiative?" If you’re new to a 24/7 D/s dynamic, this episode is for you.
We're sharing advice for submissives and Dominants on communication, structure, expectations, proactive service, and building a real-world power exchange relationship that actually works long term.
Listen now and see if you’ve been making this common D/s mistake.
➡️ The Ultimate Guide on How to Be a Submissive: https://domsubliving.com/sub
➡️ All-Access Pass: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
5 Stages of Subspace (And How to Get There Faster)
#139 Most subs think they've experienced subspace. They haven't – not really.
In this episode, we're breaking down all 5 stages of subspace and how to get there faster – including the one stage nobody warns you about that can quietly damage your dynamic if you're not handling it right.
If you're a a Dom who wants to guide your partner there or a sub who wants to go deeper, this one's for you.
➡️ Grab your free sample scene: https://domsubliving.com/scene
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/139
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for communi...
How to Make Your Kink Life Kinkier
#138 When good becomes boring – that's the real threat to your kink life.
Your dynamic works. Your scenes are comfortable. But comfort has a sneaky way of killing intensity. In this episode, you'll learn 7 new ways to level up what's already working, without blowing up what you've built.
Listen now and pick one thing to try tonight!
➡️ Free checklist of 50+ kinks: https://domsubliving.com/checklist
➡️ Explore our online courses: https://domsubliving.com/courses
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
5 BDSM Mistakes That Keep You Stuck as a Dom or Sub
#137 I ripped up our D/s contract… more than once.
If your dynamic feels off, it might not be your partner. It’s often subtle patterns that keep you stuck. In this episode, I break down the hidden mistakes that quietly stall your growth as a Dom or sub.
Ready to grow your D/s dynamic? Hit play and start leveling up now.
➡️ Kink Personality Type Quiz: https://domsubliving.com/quiz
➡️ Step-by-step Dom Sub Training course: https://domsubtraining.com
What Is a Pleasure Dom? (And Why Subs Crave Them)
#136 What is a Pleasure Dom – and why do subs say it ruins them for everyone else?
We're covering what makes this dynamic so powerful, who it's built for, and six ways it plays out in real D/s relationships – including one most educators won't touch.
➡️ Free Quick Start Dom Guide: https://domsubliving.com/dom
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/136
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
8 Ways to Get Better at BDSM
#135 Still stuck at the same level in BDSM?
Getting better isn’t about more toys or tricks. It’s about mindset, consistency, and showing up with intention – whether you’re single or in a D/s dynamic. This is what actually creates growth.
Ready to level up your kink? Start applying these 8 things today.
➡️ Access the free Resource Library: https://domsubliving.com/free
➡️ Check out the All-Access Pass: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
2 Things Every BDSM Scene Needs (Most People Miss One)
#134 Why do some BDSM scenes feel flat – even when everything looks right?
Discover the 2 things that actually make or break a BDSM scene. Learn how Doms and subs can prepare, avoid common mistakes, and create deeper, more connected scenes.
Share this episode with your partner and try these 2 shifts before your next scene.
➡️ Download your free scene: https://domsubliving.com/scene
➡️ Get our Scene Creation Worksheets inside our All-Access Pass: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
Ask the Audience: Submissive Pet Peeves (Sorry, Doms)
#133 What do Dominants do that drives submissives crazy?
Real answers from the Dom Sub Living community reveal common D/s mistakes – from lack of follow-through to inconsistency, attention, and leadership gaps. Learn what breaks submission and how to fix it.
➡️ Join our free community: https://domsubliving.com/community
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/133
Why Stressed Doms Pull Back (and What to Do About It)
#132 The Dom is stressed – and your dynamic is paying the price. In this episode, we answer a real coaching call question about what to do when the Dom checks out under pressure. Learn how to spot red flags, how the sub can stay grounded in submission, and why stress might actually strengthen your dynamic. If this sounds familiar, you need to hear this episode.
➡️ Join our Dom Sub Training course: https://domsubtraining.com
➡️ Explore all our online courses: https://domsubliving.com/courses
Expires April 1: 3 Keys to a Killer D/s Dynamic
Missed the free training? You can still watch the replay—but only for a limited time!
🔥 Head to https://domsubliving.com/masterclass now to watch the full video training, complete with step-by-step visuals and graphics.
In this episode, we're sharing the audio from 3 Keys to Creating a Killer D/s Dynamic. You’ll learn how to build confidence, create deeper connections, and add structure to your dynamic—whether you’re a Dom, sub, or switch. These steps have already transformed so many lives, and now it’s your turn.
🚨 Don’t wait—enrollment for our Dom Sub Trai...
5 Power Exchange Mistakes That Are Killing Your D/s Dynamic
#131 Are you slowly killing your D/s dynamic without realizing it? In this episode, we break down hidden patterns that weaken connection, trust, and power exchange over time – and why they feel normal while you’re in them. Listen now and take an honest look at your BDSM dynamic today.
➡️ Download your free BDSM contract: https://domsubliving.com/contract
➡️ Explore our courses & trainings: https://domsubliving.com/courses
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
Is It Kink or Is It Abuse? How to Know the Difference
#130 BDSM is not abuse. Consensual non-consent is not rape, and ageplay is not incest. In this powerful episode, we break down consent, red flags, and when power exchange crosses the line. Featuring RAINN. Listen now and share with someone who needs it.
➡️ Get support/support RAINN: https://rainn.org
➡️ Learn more about Podcasthon: https://podcasthon.org
➡️ Explore our resources: https://domsubliving.com
