Infinite Devotion

Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me?  

Around 2014 I typed that exact question into Google. It started everything Dawn and I do now.

This is part one of a two-part series, and it's for the men. Dawn and I get into why the pull you felt at the beginning never actually died, how desire slowly turns into obligation, and why you can never talk a woman into wanting you. Then we get practical about the half of this a man can actually control.

Next week, part two: her side of it.

Dawn and I have lived full-time in our RV for almost two years. We live together, work together, travel together, and do all of it in a house with four rooms, thin walls, and a garden hose for plumbing. When a man heard about this recently, he looked at me and said, "You must be really good people."

We like each other, which helps. Mostly, we've gotten good at navigating discomfort. In this episode Dawn and I talk about what close quarters actually do to a marriage: the space you can't get from each other, t...

Why She Doesn’t Feel Safe With You (Even Though You’d Never Hurt Her) | Infinite Devotion Episode 153

Ask most men if their woman feels safe with them and the answer comes fast: of course she does, I’d never hurt her. That’s the floor.

Underneath it is a layer of safety almost no man accounts for, and it decides whether she ever truly lets go in his presence: whether she can tell him the truth.

People will lie to you unless they feel safe enough not to. In...

Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152

I haven't had a guest on this show in over a year. I decided I'd only bring someone on if I really wanted to talk to them, and it took a year to find that person. GS Youngblood is the author whose books I've bought and given away more than anyone else's, and when he talks to men about relationships, you can hear that he has lived every word.

GS spent seventeen years in the te...

Dawn sat down with a list of questions and didn't tell me what was on it. We were both in tears within the first five minutes.

A few weeks ago I posted, "I don't want you to be mine. I want you to be free and choose to stay." On Facebook it reached over a million people, and plenty of them were angry. One said that giving a partner that much freedom will turn even the best person into a bully. Another asked if it meant Dawn was done surrendering. This episode answers both. It's a...

Everyone knows their love language. Couples quiz each other on it, therapists assign the book as homework, and it gets treated as the starting point of relational wisdom. In this episode I take the framework apart. Your love language is real, and it is telling you something true. It is a precise map of where your emptiness lives: the exact spot where your okayness depends on your partner's behavior.

I share my own story with words of affirmation, how the neediness underneath it played out with Dawn for years, and what finally filled the void t...

How to Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149

In this week’s episode Dawn and I dig into a word I've used for years, one that keeps coming back to me from listeners, especially men: untriggerable.

This episode is about what that word actually means to us, why most people go about it the wrong way, and what it's really taken for us to get to the other side of the things that used to set us off.

In This Episode

The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148

Every Wednesday morning I get on a call with the men inside Becoming a Dominant Man and answer their questions. This time I flipped it and told them to ask me anything.

They did. What came back was a mix of the light and the heavy, which is how life actually goes. My bike. My sex toys, or lack thereof. What it actually takes to prepare for a nomadic life. How you get a dog to th...

We haven't done one of these in a long time, so we sat down by the fire and answered your questions. Yours, all 6,500 plus of you who follow along on email and social, and Dawn's own following too. This week is every safe for work question you sent in. The sexual ones, the kinky ones, those are coming soon to the paid platforms.

In this episode Dawn gets into:

This week we get into one of the most practical ways I lead in our relationship: taking ownership of our health optimization. It started with a routine idea to get full blood work done and turned into a discovery that Dawn's ferritin was at seven, that I have early markers for Hashimoto's, and that Dawn carries a genetic marker (lipoprotein A) that changes how her body handles certain fats.

Along the way we talk about what it actually means for a man to lead, why individualized data beats throwing darts at a dartboard, an...

The first version of us you ever saw was the least authentic version of us you'll ever see. Same goes for you, if you’re doing the work and going inward in your life. Every new thing that surfaces as you shed conditioning is truer than what came before it, which means the person your partner is becoming is more real than the one they used to be.

Dawn joined me for this one, and we recorded outside by a lake in northern Wisconsin. Bugs, birds, wind, squeaky lawn chairs, all of it. Slow...

Most couples who have been together a decade or two are not fighting. They are holding their breath. Somewhere along the way the relationship became a landmine map, a whole terrain of subjects you don't raise, tones you don't use, days you don't bring up money. Nobody signed up for that. It accumulated, one unhandled thing at a time, until the ground you could safely stand on got smaller every year.

This is part two of the abundance versus scarcity conversation, and it takes last week's idea straight into love, sex, and embodiment. Ab...

This episode is Part 1 of a two part series on the single biggest factor I've found underneath what makes a relationship work or fail, and it has almost nothing to do with what you think.

Most people hear "abundance" and think money. I want to blow that idea open. Abundance and scarcity aren't financial categories, they're the lens your whole nervous system looks through before you make a single decision, and that lens is either quietly running your relationship, your body, your time, and your sense of what you deserve, or it's setting you free t...

Last week I went live to walk through Receiving To Give, the essay for the women. This week I'm going live again for its twin, Giving To Receive, the men's essay I published Friday. It's the most personal thing I've written, about a pattern I lived inside my own marriage for years without being able to name it: a man who gives everything and still comes up empty, because underneath the giving was neediness.

This one's for the men. If you're a woman listening, there's a section near the end written just for you, and it may...

A couple weeks ago I wrote a blog post called Receiving to Give which you can read here: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/receiving-to-give

and the response to it caught me off guard. My inbox was flooded for days. So many women told me they felt seen in a way they hadn't from anything else I've written, and it was clear I needed to bring my voice to it directly, which is what this episode is. I delivered this episode live, which gave it a special sort of energy.

I've been using th...

This week it's just me, and I want to walk you through a paradox that has tripped up almost every man I've ever worked with. 

I'm going to tell you that you need to lead. Lead your relationship, lead your life, take a position, hold the ground. And in the same breath I'm going to tell you that you control almost nothing. You don't control her, you don't control the outcome, you don't even control yourself. Both are true at the same time, and learning to hold both is what lets you actually lead instead of...

Dawn is back for the second week in a row, and this one goes somewhere raw and real.

This episode is about shame. Specifically, what it costs you to carry it, what it does to your relationship, and what becomes possible when you finally set it down.

Andrew and Dawn have spent the last year living about as openly as two people can live. The podcast, the coaching, the blog, the Instagram, and yes, the OnlyFans. All of it is them, all of it is real, and none of it is an accident. This episode...

It Was Always About More Than Dom/Sub 

This week marks a turning point for this podcast and for the Infinite Devotion brand.

After several years as Dom Sub Devotion, the podcast is returning to its original name: Infinite Devotion. Not as a retreat from what we've built, but as a homecoming to what this was always actually about.

Andrew and Dawn sit down together to talk through why this change is happening now, what Dom/sub dynamics actually taught them about themselves and each other, and why the lessons from that world h...

Welcome to Infinite Devotion. To learn more about us visit https://infinitedevotion.com

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Why the Love and Desire Died in Your Relationship (And How to Get Them Back)

The love and desire don't die because something went wrong between you. They die because something shifted inside each of you. The relationship is just the light bulb. If it's not turning on, that's a signal, not the problem itself.

This is the most conceptually dense episode I've put out, and I mean that in the best way. I take everything Dawn and I ha...

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Last week I talked about killing the nice guy. This week I'm speaking to the other side of the same wound.

When masculine presence is absent from a relationship, a woman fills the space the only way she knows how. She takes control. Of everything.

This episode is about why she does that, where it comes from, and what it actually takes to create the conditions where she can start to let go.

I'm drawing directly from Dawn's and my 17 years...

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There was a version of me that did everything right. Generous, patient, never complained. Worked hard, provided, put her needs first. And Dawn hadn't truly desired me in years. This episode is about why.

In this episode, I go completely off-script to share a stretch of my marriage to Dawn where, by my own account, I didn't exist. Not in the way that matters. 

I was there physically, going through the motions, doing all the things, but there was no...

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Why She Shuts Down Around You (And What You're Doing to Cause It)

She used to bring you everything. Now she barely brings you anything. And you can feel it, even if you can't name what changed.

In this episode, Andrew makes a case that most men aren't going to want to hear: the way she's showing up emotionally right now is largely a response to how safe you've made it for her to feel around you.

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Most of us think we're in love with our partners. This episode challenges that assumption directly.

In this episode, Andrew introduces the concept of compersion, a word from non-monogamous communities that describes a wholehearted, sympathetic joy for your partner's joy.

It's a feeling most of us can access for our children, our pets, our closest friends. But somewhere in long-term relationships, it disappears. And where it goes is exactly where the real conversation begins.

Because compersion isn't ju...

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In this episode, Andrew dives into questions brought by founding members of the newly launched Infinite Devotion Community, giving listeners a taste of the kinds of conversations happening inside that space.

In this episode: 

Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community 

For years, people have been asking us the same question. Where do we go? Where can we find others like us? Where can we have real conversations about this dynamic without being hit on, talked down to, or surrounded by people who aren't taking any of this seriously?

The Infinite Devotion Community is the answer to that question.

In this episode, Andrew walks you through everything you need to know about this new private, paid community built specifically for c...

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How do you actually know who's in charge in a D/s dynamic? Not who's wearing the collar, not who's claimed the title, not even who's doing what to whom. The one who's deciding is the one who's dominant, and those two things are often not the same person.

This episode was recorded live on Instagram, and the conversation that unfolded covers one of the most common and quietly damaging patterns in power exchange relationships: the submissive who sincerely wants to let go, b...

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Is monogamy outdated? Should we all just embrace polyamory or ethical non-monogamy? Everyone seems to have a position on this right now, and everyone has their heels dug in hard. But here's what almost nobody is willing to say: most people's position on monogamy or non-monogamy isn't a philosophy. It's a defense mechanism.

In this episode, Andrew gets into the real conversation underneath all of the debate about relationship structures. We aren't naturally monogamous creatures, but that doesn't mean bouncing between casual connections g...

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Bringing up dominance and submission to a partner who doesn't know it's coming is one of the most common questions we get. This episode walks through exactly how to approach it — whether you're the one wanting to lead or the one wanting to follow.

Free Resources

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Resources & Next Steps 

If you’re ready to go deeper, explore our courses an...

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Episode 127: You Can't Submit and Stay in Charge at the Same Time

Download the free guided meditation mentioned in this episode: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/offers/aZEToAu5

Links Mentioned in This Episode: 

One of the most common questions Andrew hears from women: how do I feel submissive when my life requires me to be in control?

This episode...

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Get all of Andrew's free guides, training, and resources at: infinitedevotion.com/free-resources 

Most episodes of Dom Sub Devotion lean into what's possible. This one goes somewhere different.

After years of coaching and deep observation, Andrew has watched D/s dynamics fail in ways that were painful, patterns, and in many cases, preventable. In this episode, he shares nine of the most important lessons he's learned from dynamics and relationships that didn't make it, including some that Dawn and he...

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Free: The Devotional D/s Masterclass, the best place to start if this episode hit home. https://www.infinitedevotion.com/devotional-ds-masterclass

Episode 125: What It's Really Like Inside a 24/7 Dom/Sub Marriage - Q&A with a Dom

Seven years inside a 24/7 Dom/sub dynamic. Fifteen years of marriage. And for the first time, Andrew opens up about the actual texture of his and Dawn's life together, not the teaching, not the framework, just the reality.

Thi...

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Eternity Collars: Dawn has worn her titanium Eternity Collar since the very beginning of our dynamic. Over 7 years around her neck. This is the company we trust and use exclusively for Dawn's collars.

Get a discount using our code "DEVOTION" at checkout. 

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Most people enter Dominant submissive dynamics carrying codependent patterns they don't even know they have. And the hard truth is that D/s doesn't dissolve those patterns. It amplifies them, because th...

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In this first ever listener interview on Dom Sub Devotion, Andrew sits down with Robert, a longtime follower and friend who has spent decades building genuine masculine strength across martial arts, competitive racing, and breath work. And still found himself completely disarmed the moment a woman got emotional.

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Episode 122: Sovereign Desire: How Men Build Magnetic Power

Most men are terrified of desire because unfulfilled wanting feels like weakness. So they either suppress what they want or chase after everything they can get, becoming slaves to their appetite in the process.

This episode reveals why a Dominant man's power comes from his ability to hold desire without being controlled by it. Why wanting without needing is the foundation of masculine magnetism. And why the space between desire and fu...

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Most women kill their own desire by trying to fulfill it too quickly. They move from wanting to getting, from emptiness to fullness, and wonder why they feel numb, exhausted, and burned out.

This episode explores why feminine desire is meant to be held, not fulfilled. Why wanting itself is the point. And how the space between desire and having is where your aliveness, magnetism, and capacity to receive actually lives.

You'll learn:

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Most people think the death of desire in long-term relationships is inevitable. But what if that's just resignation dressed up as wisdom?

In this live episode, Andrew breaks down why Infinite Devotion isn't really about dominance and submission. It's about something much deeper: learning to integrate love and power so you can have both intimacy and intensity in the same relationship.

What You'll Learn:

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Episode 119: Still Learning: How My Teachings Have Evolved Through Lived Experience

After seven years of living in a 24/7 DOM/sub dynamic and several years of teaching, Andrew shares how his understanding of the concepts he teaches has deepened and evolved. Growth means being willing to reconsider what you thought you knew, and in this episode, Andrew opens up about the nuances he's discovered through lived experience.

In this episode, Andrew explores:

Masculine Emotion: Why letting her...

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Free: The Dominance Masterclass, for the man who wants to lead with more steadiness. https://www.infinitedevotion.com/dominance-masterclass

Resources: 

Get all of Andrew's free guides, training, and resources at: infinitedevotion.com/free-resources 

Ready to go deeper? 

Explore our blog, courses, and coaching at https://InfiniteDevotion.com 

Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/_InfiniteDevotion 

Subscribe to our OnlyFans for exclusive content: https://dawnofdesire.net

SHOW NOTES:

Dr. Rob...

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Free: The Devotional D/s Masterclass, the best place to start if this episode hit home. https://www.infinitedevotion.com/devotional-ds-masterclass

Most couples try to build a 24/7 D/s dynamic by devoting a few hours per week to scenes and protocols. Then they wonder why the dynamic keeps falling apart when "real life" takes over.

The problem? You're running two different operating systems. One for D/s time, and one for everything else. And thats why it fee...