Adult Child of Dysfunction
“Child of Dysfunction” is your guide into the world of resilience and healing. Hosted by Tammy Vincent, the adult child of two alcoholic parents, this podcast delves deep into the experiences of growing up in a chaotic and dysfunctional environment, facing childhood neglect, abuse, and trauma while overcoming adversity. With personal insights and expert interviews, we explore the challenges and triumphs of adults who grew up in these toxic environments, and healed. We Learn how to navigate these profound inner wounds though a variety of modalities including, but not limited to mindfulness, NLP practices, transformational coaching. We will help people unco...
E 356: Tammys' Takes #39 Your Triggers Aren't the Problem—They're the Clues
Have you ever wondered why something seemingly small can create such a big emotional reaction?
In this Tammy's Take, Tammy builds on her conversation with author David Deane Haskell and explains why our strongest emotional reactions often have very little to do with what's happening today—and everything to do with what happened years ago.
You'll learn why your nervous system isn't overreacting... it's remembering.
Tammy introduces the powerful concept of becoming the detective instead of the judge, showing you how to stop asking, "What's wrong with me?" and start asking the questions th...
E 357: The Inner Child, Shame and Healing Guest David Deane Haskell
What if your struggles with food, addiction, relationships, or self-worth were never really about those things at all?
In this powerful conversation, Tammy sits down with author David Deane Haskell to explore the hidden wounds that shape our adult lives. David shares his deeply personal journey through childhood trauma, addiction, codependency, shame, and the transformational power of inner child healing.
Together they discuss:
Why emotional triggers point back to childhood woundsThe difference between guilt and toxic shameWhy affirmations feel "cringey" at firstHow inner child work helps heal lifelong patternsThe connection between addiction and unresolved...E 356: Tammy's Takes #38: Healing Doesn't Always Start with Talking
What if healing doesn't begin with talking... but with expressing?
In this episode of Tammy's Takes, I build on my conversation with poet and Positive Psychology Coach Michael Teferi and explore one of the most overlooked parts of healing: giving your pain somewhere to go. Whether it's writing, journaling, painting, music, prayer, or simply speaking your truth, expression is often the first step toward releasing what your nervous system has been holding onto.
As adult children of dysfunction, many of us learned to stay quiet, suppress our emotions, and survive. But those emotions don't simply...
E 355: How Poetry, Purpose, and Self-Expression Can Help You Heal | with Michael Teferi
Can writing really help heal emotional wounds?
In this episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy sits down with poet and Positive Psychology Coach Michael Teferi to discuss growing up with bullying, finding resilience through poetry, and using creative expression as a pathway toward healing and personal growth.
Michael shares how painful childhood experiences shaped his compassion instead of his bitterness, why poetry became an outlet for processing emotions, and how purpose, friendship, faith, and creativity helped him move forward.
If you've ever struggled to express what you've been through, this conversation will...
E 354: Tammy's Takes #37: Why Trauma Hijacks Your Attention (And How to Reclaim It)
Have you ever wondered why your mind won't slow down?
Why you replay conversations...
Doom scroll...
Jump from one task to another...
Or constantly worry about what might happen next?
What if your attention isn't broken at all?
In this week's Tammy's Takes, Tammy Vincent builds on her conversation with Kira Shishkin, CEO of Informed Now, to explore a deeper question:
What is your attention trying to protect you from?
While Kira introduces the idea of an Attention Audit, Tammy expands on the...
E 353: How Trauma, Brain Injury & Media Hijack Your Attentionw Guest: Kira Shishkin
What if the most valuable thing you own isn't your time... but your attention?
In this powerful conversation, Tammy welcomes Kira Shishkin, CEO of informed.now and Forbes 30 Under 30 entrepreneur, whose life changed forever after surviving a devastating childhood car accident that left him in a coma with severe brain injuries and amnesia.
Kira shares his remarkable story of rebuilding his life from the ground up and explains why attention is the foundation of healing, resilience, and personal growth.
Together, Tammy and Kira discuss:
• How trauma and brain injuries affect focus an...
E 352: Tammy's Takes #36: Your Triggers Are Trying To Tell You Something
Have you ever found yourself thinking...
"Why did I react like that?"
Maybe someone didn't text you back.
Maybe your boss gave you feedback.
Maybe your partner used the wrong tone of voice.
Logically, you know it shouldn't have affected you that much...
Yet emotionally, it felt overwhelming.
In this week's Tammy's Takes, we're building on my powerful conversation with David Dean Haskell, author of Wounded Angels and Inner Child Unleashed, who reminded us that our biggest emotional reactions often have very little to do...
E351: Why Your Childhood Still Controls Your Reactions | David Deane Haskell
Have you ever wondered why something seemingly small can trigger such a huge emotional reaction?
Why does being left out, criticized, or rejected sometimes feel far bigger than the moment itself?
The answer may not be in your present—it may be in your childhood.
In this powerful episode, I sit down with David Deane Haskell, author of Wounded Angels and Inner Child Unleashed, to explore the life-changing power of inner child healing and why unresolved childhood trauma continues to influence our relationships, confidence, emotional reactions, and even addiction later in life.
...
E 350: Tammys Takes #35: Why You Still Feel Invisible (Even as an Adult)
Have you ever walked into a room and immediately tried to make yourself smaller?
Do you apologize when you've done nothing wrong?
Stay quiet even when you have something valuable to say?
Feel like everyone else's needs matter more than your own?
If so, you may still be living from a survival pattern that began in childhood.
In this episode of Tammy's Takes, we're building on my recent conversation with Chris Milson, host of the Mental Health Movement Podcast: Voice for the Voiceless. Chris shared how growing up in...
E349: From Childhood Trauma to Hope: Chris Milson on Suicide, Boundaries & Healing Your Mental Health
What happens when you spend your entire childhood feeling invisible?
For many adult children of dysfunction, the deepest wounds aren't always physical—they're emotional. Feeling unseen. Feeling unheard. Believing you don't matter.
In this incredibly honest conversation, I sit down with Chris Milson, host of the Mental Health Movement Podcast: Voice for the Voiceless, to talk about what it's really like to grow up in a broken home, survive multiple suicide attempts, and slowly rebuild a life worth living.
Chris opens up about:
✔️ Growing up feeling invisible after his parents divorced
✔...
E 348: Tammy's Take #34: The Childhood Voice That's Still Running Your Life
Have you ever caught yourself thinking...
"I'm not good enough."
"I always mess things up."
"Why can't I get anything right?"
What if those thoughts aren't actually yours?
In this week's Tammy's Takes, Tammy builds on a powerful insight from her conversation with transformational guide Isabelle Chiara and explores how the voices we heard growing up often become the voice we hear inside our own heads.
If you grew up in dysfunction, criticism, emotional neglect, or conditional love, your inner critic may actually be a survival strategy—no...
E 347: What If Your Biggest Setback Was Actually Your Greatest Gift? Guest Isabel Chiara
Many of us spend years trying to change our habits without ever changing the conversations happening inside our own minds.
In this powerful episode, Tammy welcomes back transformational guide Isabele Chiara to discuss her new book Nourish and why true nourishment has very little to do with food.
Together they explore how childhood experiences shape our beliefs, why our outside world often mirrors our inner dialogue, and how one simple shift in perspective can completely transform our lives.
Whether you've struggled with childhood trauma, emotional eating, self-worth, or simply feeling stuck, this conversation...
E 346: Tammy's Take #33: 5 Signs Your Nervous System May Still Feel Unsafe
What if you're not actually healed...
What if you've simply become really good at surviving?
In this episode of Tammy's Takes, trauma-informed coach Tammy Vincent explores one of the most powerful lessons from her recent conversation with bestselling author Janice Erlbaum.
Although Janice's story of leaving home at just fifteen years old is extraordinary, the way her nervous system adapted isn't uncommon at all.
Many adult children of dysfunctional families learned to become hypervigilant, people-pleasing, perfectionistic, emotionally disconnected, or constantly "on" simply because those behaviors once helped them survive.
...
E 345: From Teenage Homelessness to Healing: The Story Behind Girlbomb: Guest Janice Erlbaum
What does it take to survive an abusive childhood—and what does it really take to heal?
In this deeply moving episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy Vincent sits down with bestselling memoirist Janice Erlbaum, author of Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir, to explore the lasting impact of childhood trauma, domestic violence, homelessness, and the remarkable resilience of the human spirit.
At just fifteen years old, Janice made the heartbreaking decision to leave home to escape an abusive environment. What followed were years spent moving between shelters, group homes, addiction, unhealthy relationships, and the co...
E 344: Tammy's Take #32: How To Change the Story Your Mind is Telling You
What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't your past...
It's the story your past taught you to believe?
In this episode of Tammy's Takes, trauma-informed coach Tammy Vincent explores one of the most powerful concepts from her recent conversation with therapist Aaron Gilbert: your default story.
Many adult children of dysfunctional families unknowingly carry childhood beliefs into adulthood—beliefs like I'm not enough, I have to earn love, I can't trust anyone, or I'm responsible for everyone else's happiness. These stories often shape our relationships, confidence, and emotional well-being without us ev...
E 343: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Unhealthy Patterns: Guest: Aaron Gilbert
What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't your past...
It's the story your past taught you to believe?
In this powerful episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy Vincent sits down with licensed therapist Aaron Gilbert, founder of Boston Evening Therapy Associates, to explore one of the most important concepts in healing from childhood trauma: your default story.
From the moment we're born, our brains begin making sense of the world around us. For children growing up in dysfunctional homes, those early experiences often become deeply ingrained beliefs about who we...
E 342: Tammy's Takes #31: Why Adult Children Struggle to Trust Themselves
Have you ever noticed how quickly you ask everyone else what they think before asking yourself?
If you grew up in a dysfunctional home, that isn't because you're indecisive—it's because you learned to survive by paying attention to everyone else's needs before your own.
In this week's Tammy's Takes, I expand on one of the biggest takeaways from my conversation with therapist and author Shari Foos: learning to reconnect with your own voice.
As children, many of us became experts at reading the room. We learned to recognize moods, anticipate conflict, and ma...
E 341: What If Healing Isn't About Fixing Yourself… But Finding Yourself Again? : Guest Shari Foos
n this heartfelt episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, I sit down with therapist, author, and founder of The Narrative Method, Shari Foos, to explore how writing can become one of the most powerful tools for healing childhood trauma.
Many adult children of dysfunctional families learned early in life to stay quiet, suppress their emotions, and become whoever they needed to be just to survive. Over time, many of us lose touch with our authentic voice.
Shari believes healing isn't about becoming a better writer—it's about becoming a better listener to yourself.
To...
E 340: Tammy's Take #30;The 5 Reasons Your Nervous System Won't Let You Rest
Have you ever been completely exhausted... but the moment your head hits the pillow, your mind comes alive?
Maybe you replay conversations from the day. Maybe you worry about tomorrow. Maybe you wake up at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning and can't get back to sleep.
What if the problem isn't that you can't sleep?
What if your nervous system simply doesn't feel safe enough to rest?
In this episode of Tammy's Takes, Tammy Vincent shares one of the biggest lessons from her recent conversation with sleep expert Tim Thomas: many sleep...
E 339: Can't Sleep? The Natural Breathwork Method That's Helping Thousands Sleep Better/ Guest Tim Thomasaudio1930963873
Sleep isn't a luxury.
It's the foundation of your mental health, emotional resilience, physical healing, and nervous system regulation.
In this powerful episode, Tammy sits down with Tim Thomas, creator of the Breathwork in Bed app and a former military veteran who transformed his own struggle with chronic insomnia into a mission to help others sleep naturally.
After losing six years of his life to prescription sleep medications, Tim discovered something that changed everything: the incredible power of intentional breathing.
Today, his breathwork techniques have helped veterans, first responders, trauma survivors...
E 338: Tammy's Take #29 Notice, Name, Next Step: A Simple Tool for When You Feel Triggered
What if your thoughts are not always telling you the truth?
For many adult children of dysfunction, anxious thoughts do not just feel like thoughts. They feel like warnings. They feel like facts. They feel like instructions we have to follow in order to stay safe.
“They are mad at me.”
“I am going to mess this up.”
“I need to fix this.”
“I should stay quiet.”
“I am too much.”
“I am not enough.”
In this Tammy’s Takes episode, Tammy teaches a simple, practical tool y...
E 337:You Don’t Have to Fix Your Thoughts to Heal: The Power of Psychological Flexibility Guest Elisabeth Morray
What if healing is not about getting rid of painful thoughts, fixing every feeling, or becoming a completely different person?
In this powerful episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy Vincent sits down with Dr. Elisabeth Morray, licensed psychologist, acceptance and commitment therapy expert, and VP of Clinical at Alma.
Dr. Morray introduces the concept of psychological flexibility—the ability to experience difficult thoughts, emotions, memories, and life circumstances without allowing them to control your choices, identity, or future.
For adult children of dysfunction, this conversation is especially important. When you grew up ad...
E 336: Tammy's Take #28: The Trigger-to-Truth Method: Why Your Past Is Still Running Your Present
Why does a simple text message, a difficult conversation, or a little bit of criticism sometimes feel so overwhelming?
The answer may surprise you.
In this episode of Tammy's Takes, Tammy introduces her powerful Trigger-to-Truth Method—a simple but transformative tool designed to help you identify emotional triggers, uncover the fears hiding beneath them, and recognize when your past is influencing your present.
As adult children of dysfunction, many of us learned survival strategies that once protected us but now create anxiety, people-pleasing, overthinking, perfectionism, and emotional reactivity.
The problem isn't al...
E 335: You Have Permission to Save Your Life, Guest: Sarah Hanson
What happens when the survival skills that protected you as a child begin holding you back as an adult?
In this powerful episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy sits down with author, poet, and memoirist Sarah Hanson to discuss growing up in a dysfunctional family, the hidden impact of emotional abuse, and the lifelong journey of reclaiming your authentic self.
Sarah shares her experience of becoming the family peacekeeper, learning to navigate a volatile parent, and eventually realizing that healing required grieving the family she wished she had while accepting the reality of the...
E 334: Tammy's Take #28: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You (And Why You're Missing It)
What if anxiety isn't the problem?
What if people-pleasing isn't the problem?
What if overthinking isn't the problem?
What if they're all messengers?
In this powerful Tammy's Takes episode, Tammy explores one of the most important lessons from her conversation with voice coach Barbara McAfee: the emotions, needs, and experiences we suppress don't simply disappear—they often find another way to be heard.
Growing up in dysfunctional homes teaches many of us that having a voice isn't safe. We learn to stay quiet, avoid conflict, suppress emotions, and prioritize ev...
E 333: The Hidden Cost of Staying Quiet: Guest Barbara McAfee
What happens when it isn't safe to speak?
For many adult children of dysfunction, silence became a survival strategy long before they ever realized it. Whether it was fear, criticism, neglect, abuse, or simply growing up in a home where emotions weren't welcome, many learned to suppress their voice in order to stay safe.
In this powerful conversation, Tammy sits down with voice coach, author, speaker, and performer Barbara McAfee to explore the profound connection between our voice, our nervous system, our self-expression, and our healing journey.
Barbara shares her own story of...
E 332: Tammys Takes #27: 5 Signs You're Grieving Something You Haven't Identified Yet
What if you're not stuck?
What if you're grieving?
In this powerful follow-up to my conversation with John Kammer of Guardian AIngels, we're diving into a truth that many people never consider: grief doesn't only happen when someone dies.
We grieve lost relationships, lost opportunities, lost dreams, lost health, childhoods we never had, and versions of ourselves we thought we'd become.
The problem is that many people don't recognize grief when they see it. Instead, they call it anxiety. Burnout. Exhaustion. Overwhelm. Feeling stuck.
In this episode, I share...
E331: How AI Is Changing Grief Support: Finding Healing Without Letting Go | John Kammer
What if healing from grief didn't mean letting go?
In this powerful episode, Tammy sits down with John Kammer, founder of Guardian AIngels, an innovative AI-powered grief support platform designed to help people process loss through guided reflection, journaling, and meaningful conversations.
After losing three of his closest friends, including one to suicide, John found himself carrying years of unresolved grief, guilt, and unanswered questions. What began as a simple idea eventually evolved into Guardian AIngels—a platform created to help people navigate grief in a compassionate, structured, and supportive way.
Together, Tammy an...
E 330: Tammy's Take #28: Why You Keep Repeating The Same Patterns
Why do we keep doing things we know aren't good for us?
Why do we keep overreacting, people pleasing, overthinking, numbing out, procrastinating, or sabotaging our own success—even when we know better?
In this Tammy's Takes episode, Tammy builds on her recent conversation with Kathryn Eipl, founder of EIPL Healing and creator of the Neuro Resonance Method, to explore one of the biggest misconceptions about healing.
The problem often isn't a lack of knowledge.
The problem is a nervous system that still feels unsafe.
Tammy explains why awareness al...
E 329: Self-Sabotage, Stress, and Nervous System Healing with Kathryn Eipl
What if the struggles you're experiencing aren't character flaws—but nervous system patterns that were created long before you knew they existed?
In this powerful episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy sits down with Kathryn Eipl, founder of EIPL Healing and creator of the Neuro-Resonance Method, to explore the connection between emotional patterns, nervous system regulation, self-sabotage, and healing.
Together, they discuss why so many people stay stuck in survival mode, how our words shape our emotional reality, and why true healing requires us to pay attention to both the mind and the body.
...E 328: Tammy's Take #27: How To Have The Hard Conversations
In this episode of Tammy's Takes, Tammy explores one of the most important lessons from her recent conversation with Kaylin Peete of the Family Online Safety Institute: the real issue isn't technology—it's connection.
As parents, caregivers, educators, and mentors, many of us worry about social media, screen time, AI, and online safety. But beneath those concerns lies a deeper question:
Do our children feel safe enough to talk to us?
Tammy shares five practical ways to create the kind of emotional safety that encourages honest conversations, builds trust, and strengthens relationships—both onli...
E 327: Are We Losing Our Kids to Their Screens? Guest Kaylin Peete
How do we keep kids safe online without creating fear, shame, or disconnection?
In this important conversation, Tammy sits down with Kaylin Peete, Program Specialist at the Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI) and former educator, to discuss the growing challenges families face in today's digital world.
From social media and online gaming to AI chatbots and screen time, technology is shaping how children learn, connect, and develop their sense of identity. But while many parents worry about what their children are doing online, Kaylin explains that the real solution isn't stricter rules—it's stronger relationships.
...E 326: Tammy's Take #26: Why You're Still Triggered, and What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You
In this episode of Tammy's Takes, Tammy explores one of the most powerful lessons from her recent conversation with women's health expert Kirsten Karchmer:
What if your symptoms aren't the problem?
What if they're the message?
Too often we treat anxiety, overwhelm, emotional reactions, self-doubt, and chronic stress as things to eliminate. But what if your body is actually trying to communicate something important?
Drawing from her work in trauma-informed coaching, nervous system regulation, and emotional healing, Tammy introduces her 4-Step BODY Method—a simple framework for understanding triggers, identifying old pa...
E 324: Tammy Takes #25: 5 Things to Do when you feel stuck , overwhelmed or lost
Feeling stuck, overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally exhausted?
In this episode of Tammy’s Takes, Tammy pulls powerful lessons from her conversation with Kym Coco and shares five practical ways to start moving forward when life feels heavy, uncertain, or completely overwhelming.
Whether you’re navigating grief, anxiety, burnout, childhood trauma, nervous system dysregulation, life transitions, or just feeling emotionally stuck, this episode will help you stop spiraling and start taking tiny steps toward healing.
Because healing does not happen in giant leaps.
Healing happens in tiny pivots.
In this epis...
E 325: The Hidden Fertility Factors Doctors Miss with Kirsten Karchmer
What if infertility isn't simply a hormone problem?
In this eye-opening episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy sits down with fertility expert, healthcare innovator, and Conceivable founder Kirsten Karchmer to explore the hidden factors that impact fertility, reproductive health, and overall wellness.
After helping more than 10,000 women in clinical practice, Kirsten discovered that many women struggling to conceive were being told they had "unexplained infertility" while deeper root causes were being overlooked. Together, Tammy and Kirsten dive into the powerful connection between stress, nervous system dysregulation, childhood trauma, energy depletion, inflammation, and reproductive health.<...
E 323: The Mind-Body Connection to Healing, Confidence & Resilience with Kym Coco
How do you rebuild yourself after loss, grief, anxiety, or a major life transition?
In this deeply meaningful episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy sits down with author, speaker, yoga teacher, and founder of Swagtail Yoga, Kym Coco, to explore how movement, mindfulness, breathwork, and nervous system regulation can help us heal.
After experiencing profound loss following her husband’s illness and passing, Kym shares how sports, golf, yoga, structure, and simple daily practices helped her regain confidence, reconnect with herself, and move forward with purpose.
Together, Tammy and Kym discuss:
...
E 322: Tammys Take #24: Why You Still Don’t Trust Yourself After Growing Up in Dysfunction
Why do so many adult children of dysfunction struggle to trust themselves?
In this episode of Tammy’s Takes, Tammy pulls from her powerful conversation with therapist Kara Lissy to unpack one of the biggest hidden wounds of growing up in dysfunction: losing trust in yourself.
If you grew up around addiction, emotional neglect, criticism, unpredictability, narcissism, or chaos, you may have learned to second guess yourself, overthink decisions, people please, and ignore your own needs in order to survive.
But here’s the truth: you are not broken. You were conditioned.
Ta...
E 321: Growing Up in Dysfunction: Healing Shame, Trauma & People Pleasing Guest Kara Lissy
What happens when childhood dysfunction follows you into adulthood?
In this deeply healing episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy sits down with licensed therapist and ACOA specialist Kara Lissy to unpack the lasting effects of growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home.
Together, they explore childhood trauma, nervous system dysregulation, people pleasing, grief, shame, perfectionism, emotional neglect, boundaries, and what healing actually looks like as an adult child of dysfunction.
If you've ever struggled with anxiety, hypervigilance, relationship issues, emotional triggers, or feeling “not enough,” this episode will help you understand why...
E 320: Tammys takes #23: Emotional Numbness, Childhood Trauma & Nervous System Healing
Are you functioning but not really feeling?
If you grew up in dysfunction, emotional neglect, addiction, chaos, criticism, or unpredictability, emotional numbness may have become a survival response.
In this episode of Tammy’s Takes, Tammy Vincent follows up on her conversation with Megan Margherio to explore why adult children of dysfunction often feel disconnected from themselves, struggle with nervous system dysregulation, and stay stuck in survival mode long after childhood ends.
Tammy breaks down:
✔ Emotional numbness and childhood trauma
✔ Nervous system healing and regulation
✔ Why peace and safe...
E 319: How Childhood Trauma Creates Emotional Numbness + How to Heal | Megan Margherio
What happens after survival?
If you grew up in dysfunction, emotional neglect, abuse, addiction, or chaos, chances are you learned how to survive. But what happens when survival mode becomes emotional numbness? What happens when you no longer feel the pain… but you also can’t fully feel the joy?
In this deeply powerful and validating conversation, Tammy sits down with trauma-informed embodiment coach, speaker, and author Megan Margherio to talk about healing trauma through the body, reconnecting with safety, and learning how to feel alive again.
Together, they unpack how childhood dysfunction shap...
