Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50

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In this episode, I'm tackling the topic nobody wants to bring up at dinner: cheating. Whether you've been cheated on, you've done the cheating, or you've just thought about it (and most of us have), this conversation is for you. I'm br...

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In this episode, I'm back with Shana James for Part 2 of our conversation — and this time we're getting into the real, messy, funny, and deeply human side of dating in midlife. Shana breaks down the most common mistakes people make when they're back out there after divorce or a long relationship, starting with the one thing most people skip entirely: knowing what they actually want.

We talk about love, lust, and partnership as three completely separate dimensions — and why col...

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In this episode, I review three clitoral vibrators from Hello Nancy — the LEM, the Berri, and the AVO — through the specific lens of what menopausal and perimenopausal bodies actually need. I explain why estrogen decline changes blood flow, lubrication, tissue sensitivity, and arousal response, and why that makes toy selection matter more in midlife than ever before. I break down each toy's design, stimulation style, and ideal use case, compare suction-based air pulse technology versus direct contact vibration, and give a...

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In this episode, I sit down with Shana James — relationship and dating coach with 20 years of experience, TED Talk speaker, and author of Honest Sex — to explore the real reasons men and women keep failing each other in love and intimacy. Shana has coached thousands of men and women, and what she's uncovered is that the patterns keeping us stuck aren't about gender — they're about communication, vulnerability, and a fundamental lost-in-translation moment most coup...

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In this episode, I'm tackling one of the most quietly carried anxieties in male sexuality — penis size. Not just the anatomy, but the psychology behind it. I break down the real clinical data on average erect penis size, explain why girth is actually the more relevant factor (and why nobody talks about it), and unpack why the shower vs. grower phenomenon means flaccid comparison...

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When your partner won't engage — won't go to therapy, won't talk, won't try — what are your actual options? In Part 2 of this two-part conversation, I sit down again with sex therapist Dr. Jenni Skyler and her husband and fellow therapist Daniel Lebowitz to get into the harder, messier truths about long-term desire. We tackle what happens when one partner is simply done trying, why sexual stagnation is the real relationship killer, how to tell your partner you're bored without blo...

In this episode, I'm diving into something most men have never been taught but desperately need to hear — how your nervous system is directly controlling your desire, your erections, and your ability to connect intimately. If you're in midlife and noticing that your body isn't cooperating the way it used to, this is the episode that explains why — and what to actually do about it.

I walk through the two modes of the nervous system, survival and safety, and why sex can only happen in one of them. I break down how decades of performance-based sexual conditioning quie...

In this episode, I sit down with two powerhouse sex therapists — Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz — to dig into one of the most common and least talked-about issues in long-term relationships: mismatched libidos. We're breaking down what desire discrepancy really means, why it doesn't have to spell the end of your sex life, and why the person wanting less sex is never simply "the problem." We get honest about the shame spiral that shuts men down sexually, the hidden reasons behind low male desire (from testosterone to performance anxiety to cultural conditioning), and the exact language that can open...

In this episode, I'm talking about one of the most common and least discussed experiences in midlife: painful sex. Whether it's dryness, tightness, uncomfortable positioning, or intimacy that has quietly faded, I want you to know this is not normal aging and it is not something you have to accept. Bodies change as we get older — hormones shift, tissue thins, muscles tighten, and positions that once worked no longer do — but that doesn't mean pleasure is off the table. I walk through what's actually happening physiologically, why pain during sex is never something to push through, and the practical tool...

In this episode, I'm back with Dr. Sameena Rahman for Part 2 — and we go places most medical appointments never do. We open with PCOS, GLP-1s, peptides, and ketamine, then shift into what may be the most important hormone conversation I've had on this show: is hormone therapy actually safe for women over 60?

Dr. Rahman breaks down why the original Women's Health Initiative study was mismarketed, not flawed — and how that bad marketing set back women's health by two decades. She explains how to think about the risk-benefit calculation for starting hormones later in life, and what scre...

In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on something that is already inside your world whether you're ready for it or not — artificial intelligence and sex. I'm breaking down four categories of AI-powered intimacy technology: smart sex toys and biofeedback devices, AI companion apps and chatbots, virtual reality experiences, and AI in sexual health and therapy. I talk about what these tools actually do, why they matter specifically for people navigating desire and relationships after 50, and the questions we're not asking loudly enough — about data privacy, about who this technology was built for, and about what happens to our...

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Sameena Rahman — board-certified OBGYN, sex medicine Gynecologist, and menopause specialist — to have the conversation most women never get to have with their doctor. We cover whether hormone level testing actually matters, how to tell the difference between hormone imbalance and hormone optimization, and why a woman's libido is almost never just about one thing.

Dr. Rahman breaks down the biopsychosocial framework she uses in her practice, explains why so many women in long-term relationships experience responsive — not spontaneous — desire, and gets specific about the treatments available right now for women wi...

In this episode, I'm going straight at the myth that has quietly wrecked the confidence of more men than I can count: how long you're supposed to last in bed. Spoiler — the benchmark most men are measuring themselves against isn't based in reality. It comes from porn, locker room exaggeration, and years of silence between partners who never actually had the conversation. I break down what the science actually says (the average is about five to six minutes, not 20 or 30), share a real client story, and explain why the real problem isn't your body — it's your benchmark. I also cove...

In this episode, I'm talking with Natalie Davis — former DOJ trial lawyer, polyamory advocate, and author of Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory — about what it actually looks like to build a life that doesn't follow the relationship script most of us were handed.

Natalie has been with her husband since they were teenagers. They have an adult son. And over the past two decades, they've navigated swinging, open relationships, and fully polyamorous partnerships — together and separately. Today, she lives in a home with her husband and his long-term girlfriend, her metamour, while also dating outside the house...

In this episode, I'm handing you the dating dictionary I wish I'd had years ago. If you've ever felt confused, blindsided, or just plain crazy after a date or relationship fell apart — you weren't imagining it. The behavior has a name. And once you can name it, you stop second-guessing yourself and start making better decisions.

I walk through 10 modern dating terms — ghosting, zombieing, future faking, ghost lighting, micro-cheating, benching, banksying, breadcrumbing, love bombing, and situationships — what they look like, why they happen, and how to respond. I also share my 3-6-9 rule for checking in on com...

In this episode, I'm back with emotional intimacy expert Allana Pratt for Part 2 of a conversation that went places I never expected. We pick up where we left off — moving through self-forgiveness, the grip of self-loathing, and why judgment from others is actually an invitation to look inward. Allana shares a raw piece of her own story — six years estranged from her son, and the horrendous self-hatred she had to sit with and fully feel to finally reach wisdom. We get into soul embodiment, what it really means to be an anxious attacher, and why trauma is finite — not a life...

In this episode, I'm introducing one of my favorite concepts for couples who feel like the spark has quietly gone out: sex snacks. Not whipped cream, not grand gestures — tiny, pressure-free moments of flirtation, touch, and attention that keep intimacy alive throughout the day. I break down why desire in midlife doesn't work like a light switch, why spontaneous desire often fades during perimenopause and menopause, and how responsive desire — the kind that builds once it starts — can still be very much alive. Sex snacks are designed to lower pressure and raise connection, and I walk through exactly what they l...

In this episode, I sit down with emotional intimacy expert and certified master coach Allana Pratt to expose the relationship mistakes most of us are making — quietly, repeatedly, and often without realizing it. Allana breaks down three major patterns that keep love from going deep: withholding the full truth out of fear of rejection, abandoning ourselves and our communities the moment things get hard, and mistaking cognitive awareness of anger for actually processing it. Through raw client stories, her signature "Little You" practice, and the powerful Theater of Redemption process, Allana reveals what it really takes to show up vu...

In this episode, I'm joined by certified sexologist and Love Lab Podcast host Kevin Anthony for the most thorough — and most honest — sex toy review I've ever done. We pulled out everything: vibrators, pumps, prostate massagers, masturbators, depth limiters, positioning pillows, and more. We break down what each toy does, who it's really for, and whether it's worth buying. We also go deep on the health angle — because a lot of these tools aren't just about pleasure. They're about erectile health, pelvic floor function, blood flow, and the real changes that happen to our bodies in midlife. No brand deals...

In this episode, I continue my conversation with pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Rachel Gelman. We cover what actually brings people — of all genders — to see a pelvic floor PT, from pain and constipation to erectile dysfunction and urinary urgency. Rachel breaks down what a prostatectomy really does to sexual function, whether men can get sensation back after prostate removal, and why erectile dysfunction is almost always multifactorial. We also get into how the pelvic floor behaves during orgasm, why some people experience cramping or pain afterward, the fascinating jaw-pelvis connection, and the nerve link between your feet and your...

In this episode, I'm tackling one of the most persistent — and medically inaccurate — myths about women's bodies: the idea that a woman becomes loose based on how much sex she has had and her body count. I break down the actual science of vaginal elasticity, explain why body count has zero impact on vaginal tone, and get real about what actually does change things over time — spoiler: it's pelvic floor health, not how many partners she's had. This myth has been used for decades to shame and control women, and it's time we replace it with facts..

IN THI...

In this episode, I sit down with pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Rachel Gelman to uncover the one part of the male body that almost no one talks about — the pelvic floor. From erection strength to ejaculation control and orgasm intensity, Rachel breaks down exactly how these muscles work in men and women alike, why most people are walking around with a pelvic floor that's too tense (not too weak), and why Kegels may be the most over-prescribed exercise in sexual health. We also get into male incontinence, what a pelvic floor internal exam actually looks like, how consent is...

In this episode, I'm addressing one of the most common — and least talked-about — causes of erectile dysfunction in midlife men: porn-related ED. If you or someone you love has noticed that things work just fine alone but shut down with a real partner, this isn't about age, hormones, or anything being wrong with you. It's about your brain — and how repeated exposure to high-stimulation content has recalibrated your arousal system. I break down exactly what's happening neurologically, why midlife men are particularly vulnerable, and walk through three clear steps to stop the cycle, rewire your brain, and rebuild real-world intima...

In this episode, I'm joined by comedian, writer, and viral content creator Matt Hyams, whose hilariously honest videos about life with a perimenopausal wife have racked up millions of views. What started as a way to process his own reality quickly became a platform that has resonated with husbands and wives everywhere.

Matt opens up about the moment he realized his marriage wasn't falling apart — it was hormones. He shares how IVF gave him a surprising frame of reference for perimenopause rage, why he walks a delicate line between validating his wife and not setting a precedent he...

In this episode, I'm breaking down five practical secrets that can completely transform your sex life in a long-term relationship. If your sex life has gone quiet, predictable, or nonexistent, you're not alone — and you're definitely not broken. I walk through how to start having real conversations about sex, why desire doesn't start in the bedroom, the power of novelty and curiosity, how to expand your pleasure toolkit in simple ways, and a mindset shift around what sex even means that takes the pressure off and brings desire back. This one is equal parts practical, playful, and honest — and Secr...

In part two, we go deeper into what actually drives mismatched desire and why so many couples get stuck in toxic patterns.

I sit down again with Coral Osborne to unpack the psychology behind attraction, fantasy, and connection. We break down why you can feel intense chemistry with the wrong partner and disconnect with the right one. It comes down to understanding your erotic blueprint and the meaning behind your desires.

We talk about fantasy analysis, why shame distorts sexuality, and how to start rebuilding intimacy in a real, practical way. If you have ever...

If you want a better sex life, you need to learn how to talk about sex. In this episode, I break down why most couples avoid these conversations and how that silence creates distance, resentment, and confusion. I walk you through exactly when to bring it up, what to say, and how to say it in a way that builds connection instead of triggering defensiveness. You will learn how to lead with curiosity, ask better questions, and express your needs without blame. I also explain the real reasons desire shifts in midlife, from stress to hormones to body image...

Low libido and mismatched desire are not just about hormones. In this episode, I sit down with Coral Osborne, former escort turned intimacy coach for high-performing men, to break down what is really driving disconnection in relationships.

We get into what men are not saying, why performance anxiety is rising, and how shame shapes desire. Coral shares what she learned from working with men in both sex work and coaching. The patterns are the same. Men feel pressure to perform, hide their needs, and avoid vulnerability.

We talk about why sex is rarely just about...

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If you love a woman and lately you feel like you are walking on eggshells around her, I made this episode for you.

Many men were never taught what menopause really does to a woman’s body, brain, and sexuality. When these changes show up in a relationship, couples often feel confused, rejected, or disconnected.

In this epi...

What do you do when the relationship is good, but the sex is boring?

In part two of my conversation with clinical sexologist Dr. Stacey Friedman, we talk about what really happens to sexual relationships over time. We move beyond the idea of “dead bedrooms” and dive into boredom, communication, novelty, and the evolving nature of intimacy in midlife.

We explore how to talk to a partner about disappointing sex without damaging their ego. Dr. Stacey Friedman explains why many couples lose desire simply because their sex life becomes predictable. And she shares practical ways to b...

In this episode, I share a personal story I have never told in detail before. It begins in my early 50s after separating from my husband of 25 years and rediscovering sex in a new relationship. My libido was strong, my excitement was back, but something unexpected started happening. I suddenly could not orgasm.

That experience sent me down a path that completely changed how I understand hormones, sexual health, and midlife sexuality. I talk about the appointment at a sexual medicine clinic that opened my eyes to the role of clitoral stimulation, vibrators, and something most women...

Are you ever going to have sex again?

It is the question so many couples in midlife are quietly asking. Sex has become obligatory. Or it has disappeared. Hormones have shifted. Resentment has built. Communication has broken down.

In this episode of Taboo To Truth, I sit down with clinical sexologist Dr. Stacy Friedman to talk about how couples move from duty sex or no sex back to real desire. We break down spontaneous versus responsive desire. We explain why sex starts to feel like a chore. We talk about what happens after the lust...

Half of men over 40 will experience erectile dysfunction.

In this episode, I explain why ED is rarely only about sex. I walk you through what erections actually reveal about cardiovascular health, metabolic function, hormones, pelvic floor tension, and fertility.

I break down why urologists call the penis a barometer of heart health. The blood vessels that support erections are smaller than the ones that support your heart and brain. That means they often show damage earlier. In many cases, ED appears years before a heart attack or stroke.

I also talk about diabetes...

Dating after divorce in your 50s can feel exciting, terrifying, and exhausting all at once. In this episode, I share 10 powerful questions you need to ask yourself before you get emotionally invested.

These questions help you stop chasing chemistry and start choosing peace. We talk about nervous system safety, emotional consistency, authentic self expression, and why you should never date someone’s potential. I also break down the difference between chaos and connection, and why midlife is the time to stop auditioning and start being chosen.

If you are tired of walking on eggshells, second gu...

Hot flashes. Vaginal dryness. Sleepless nights.

If menopause has made you feel disconnected from your body or from sex, you are not alone. In this episode of Taboo To Truth, I break down what really happens to your sexual health during perimenopause and menopause and why your sex life is not over.

I share my own experience, including the reality of hot flashes interrupting intimacy, and explain how hormonal shifts in estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone impact desire, arousal, orgasm, and satisfaction.

You will learn why pain during sex is common but treatable, why...

In part two of my conversation with Venus O’Hara, we go beyond toys and into power. Venus shares the beginner anal toy she designed for absolute first-timers and the triple-motor toy created for layered external pleasure without pressure to penetrate. We talk about new tech in sex toys, from thrusting and tapping to air stimulation, and what actually feels different versus what is hype.

Then we shift into something deeper. Venus explains orgasmic manifestation and how she used sexual energy to transform her life. We unpack sex magic, intention setting, affirmations during arousal, and why sexuality is...

If you love her but feel like you are one wrong sentence away from a blow up, this episode is for you.

In this Valentine’s Day special, I speak directly to men who want to support their partner through menopause without making things worse. Mood swings. Withdrawal. Irritability. Low libido. Exhaustion. These are not signs your relationship is failing. They are signs her hormones and nervous system are under pressure.

I break down five practical tips that help you show up steady, calm, and supportive. You will learn how to regulate instead of fix, ho...

In this episode, I sit down with Venus O'Hara, one of the most trusted voices in pleasure education, to talk about sex toys for midlife bodies. We break down what makes a toy worth your time, how to spot safe materials, and why novelty alone does not equal pleasure. Venus shares how her standards changed after reviewing over a thousand products and what consistently delivers real orgasms in midlife. We also talk about boundaries, nervous system safety, and why confidence matters more than hype. This is a grounded, practical conversation for anyone who wants better sex without embarrassment or...

In this episode, I break down anal sex without hype, fear, or pressure. I explain why curiosity shows up in midlife and why it has nothing to do with identity or performance. You learn how pleasure works anatomically, what safety really looks like, and why pain is never the goal. I cover common myths, real risks, emotional blocks, and how to talk about curiosity without turning it into pressure. This episode gives you information so you decide from choice, not shame or fear.

In This Episode:

0:00 Anal feels less scary than you think

0:30...

Hormone therapy helps. But it does not fix everything.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Diane Mueller to break down why libido often fades again after the initial HRT boost.

You learn why desire is multi-layered, why lab work often misses real problems, and how blood flow, thyroid health, nervous system overload, pelvic floor function, and relationship dynamics all shape your sex drive.

We also talk about erotic repair, redefining sex, rebuilding safety, and why pleasure is a health practice, not a luxury.

If you feel frustrated, broken, or...