Between the Covers Podcast

Let's continue to talk about some political woes and why they are so exhausting. As we are moving into spring and looking toward the summer and the political landscape continues to heat up, it's important to remember what's happened over the last year and a half. This is a reminder so we don't forget.

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Let's talk about the notion that we are problems to be solves, because we're not! This is a message I've wrestled with since childhood and it's something that was taught by family, neighbors, friends, and society. If you've struggled with this message, then please tune in! We aren't problems to be solved. We may have problems that need to be worked on, such as mental and physical health, but that doesn't mean we are the problem. With many clients I've worked with, this is almost a universal mental wall that needs to be dismantled.

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Let's talk about what others are saying about us, and even what we are saying about others. If you're like me, then there is a running inner dialogue that is often less than flattering, but it doesn't have to be this way. If you are your own worst critic, then I challenge you to look outside yourself and see what others say about you. Let's face it, the people closest to us often see things differently from what we see and can shed some light on our good qualities. In fact, I encourage you to take a challenge that...

For this month's hero's study, I had the opportunity to interview John Duresky, the Democratic candidate for the US House of Representatives in Washington's 4th District. In this conversation, we discuss politics and almost everything it entails including health care, gerrymandering, voting, the tragedies from ICE in Minnesota, and what his plans are for this midterm election if he gets into the House. We also go over all the usual questions, and while it always meanders back to politics, it's was a great conversation with an awesome person. Enjoy!

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Let's talk about finding the humanity in others and ourselves. In a world where we often are looking through a lens of good and evil, black and white, or them and us, it's easy for us to look at the "other side" from us and see them as objects of our ire. This robs them of their humanity. Even though I didn't want to try this out myself, I even look at the actions of President Donald Trump and the GOP to see the humanity of what they are doing. Does that mean I agree with what they're saying...

Let's talk about the hard work we're doing on our journeys, because let's face it that this is some of the hardest work that we can do. It involves us putting ourselves out there. We have to use our voices. Stand up for ourselves. Stand up and protect others. Rejection, loss, pain, hardship, confusion, crossroads, and bad actors are all a part of the hero's journey. I share some of my own experiences recently and what I've learned from them.

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Let's talk about authority today. I find it important for us to answer the question: who is an authority in your life? While we should be the ones who have authority in our lives, there are so many people and powers that want to have authority over our lives. Whether we are talking about spiritual authorities, family, friends, or political figures, none of these people have the authority to tell you what to do with your life. That's ultimately up to you. I challenge you to be the authority in your life.

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For this month's hero's story interview I had the privilege to speak with Dr. Kade Sharp, a licensed independent social worker I met at a local Pride Rally in June of 2025. He's also a sex therapist and has a PhD in Clinical Sexology. He's also transgender and autistic! We have an incredible conversation about being transgender, autistic, and the unique struggles he's experienced in his life.

You can connect with Kade here:
https://www.kadesharp.com/
https://www.patreon.com/cw/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast

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Let's talk about taking ownership. With the conversations I have with clients, one of the threads that is strewn throughout their experiences is a desire to only take ownership of their follies or that taking ownership of their successes is prideful. It doesn't have to be this way. We can be confident in our abilities tell others that we have succeeded at a goal and we can also choose to not beat ourselves into a bloody pulp when we do something wrong. Heroes are those who own their shortcomings and successes.

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To wrap up our look at purity culture, we are going to talk about love and lust today. I grew up believing that lust was a bad trait and therefore something was wrong with me if I ever had something that could remotely be qualified as a lustful thought. Turns out, that's not true. Lust is a feeling and like most feelings, I can choose to act on it or not. Same with love. Let's see if we can break down the unfair comparison between love and lust and see if they share more common ground than we give...

Content Warning: this episode is going to mention specific biblical scriptures and I discuss the impacts purity culture on sex and sexuality, specifically in the Christian faith tradition. Take care of yourself while listening to this episode. If you need to, skip it and come back later, or leave this episode in the archives. Trust your body to know whether it's a worthwhile topic to dive into.

Let's continue our discussion of purity culture, this time looking at the notion that for most Christian women, they are obligated to have sex with their husband or else they...

For this month's hero study, we are interviewing Corey Seemiller, an author, podcaster, speaker, and professor who recently released a book titled The Soulmate Strategy: My Imperfect Plan to Conquer Heartbreak and Find True Love. Seems fitting for our February study. We talk about overcoming grief, heartbreak, and what she did to find love in the course of a year. Join our conversation for some fun stories, inspiration, and affirmations, especially if you are experiencing heartbreak or struggling to find a romantic partner.

You can get a copy of Corey's book here: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books...

Content Warning: this episode is going to mention specific biblical scriptures and examples of self-harm, shame, and trauma from purity culture, specifically in the Christian faith tradition. Take care of yourself while listening to this episode. If you need to, skip it and come back later, or leave this episode in the archives. Trust your body to know whether it's a worthwhile topic to dive into.

Let's talk about a purity culture belief in the Christian tradition that it's more important to be holy than happy and what it can look like to reverse this notion. In...

Let's talk about changing our air and water, something that came to mind when I heard others refer to our upbringing as "the air we breathe" or "the water we swim in." You can think of it also as it's all been a part of the zeitgeist. In my work, having someone with an outside perspective can help to shed a light on what we deemed as "normal" when it could be better and healthier. We often are unaware of the influences in our lives until we step away from them. This can be challenging as it forces us...

Let's talk about broadening our sources that we take in. In a recent experience, I had a spiritual guide challenge me on some of the doom and gloom I've been experiencing thanks to all the political garbage going on, mental health struggles, and despair for the future. Thanks to Rob Bell and his Robcast, he broadened my perspective with his own insights and it helped me get out of a slump.

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Let's talk about our comfort zone, and more importantly, how can we stretch ourselves to leave it. I've shared this before how we can struggle to make some of the changes that we wish to in our lives because it'll take us out of what we are comfortable with. While this is absolutely normal and helpful at times, it can also keep us stuck. If we stick with what we know, we know what we're going to get in the end. Is that working for you? Is it helping you get where you want to go? Personally, that answer...

For this month's hero study, I had the privilege of interviewing Michael Marshall, aka Marsh, from the Merseyside Skeptics Society. He's a podcaster, editor of The Skeptic magazine, and Project Director of the Good Thinking Society. He's a prolific skeptic and researcher who is great at asking the right questions to get people thinking about their perspectives on life. I first heard about him from guest spots on the God Awful Movies podcast and have enjoyed listening to him also on the Know Rogan Experience and The Skeptics with a K podcasts as well. We talk about conspiracy theories...

Let's talk about our nervous system and the information it tells us. In a society that values our ability to logically think our way through life's problems and challenges, there is so much value in relying on our gut and nervous system to let us know when something isn't right. Our nervous system knows more than we often give it credit for and it can do so much to keep us safe. We talking about something that has kept us as a species alive for thousands of years. It's worth listening to.

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Let's talk about checking the fruit in the actions and words of others. For those of you like me who have experienced spiritual trauma or adverse religious experiences, then allow me to apologize in advance for getting preachy in this one and relying on biblical scripture to guide the conversation today. Take care of yourself. If you need to skip this episode or take breaks from it, I understand and encourage you to do what you need to do. In our modern age where I keep hearing people express that they get their morality from the Bible, I sure...

Let's talk about what excites you, and more importantly, sharing it! I had a recent experience where I received some PDFs for a set of role playing rules I preordered leading up to the release of the physical book...and I couldn't contain myself! It took everything I had to not spend the rest of the day scrolling through the digital copy and actually record this episode. I wanted to share the excitement with Libby and with all my friends. There have also been times where I've held space for others to share what they have been excited for...

For this month's hero's study, I have the privilege of introducing you to Reverend Alba Onofrio. In our conversation, we talk about faith, spirituality, sexuality, queerness, the Bible, God, and so much in our time together. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much, if not more than I did speaking with Alba.

Reverend Alba Onofrio is a theologian and spiritual activist rooted in the U.S. South, engaged in human rights work for over two decades throughout the Americas. A queer, feminist Christian pastor—also known as Reverend Sex—they are co-founder of the Sexual Liberation Coll...

Let's talk about following our desires. I share about a story of a trip to Leavenworth, WA where Libby and our friends, John and Dan, spent most of a weekend at one of our favorite places to visit and the fun we had. Much of this came from us choosing to follow our delight. In western societies today when we are often told many important things that we need and should be doing, sometimes it's more important to provide time for what we want to do. The things that need and should be done are nice, but often times...

Let's talk about safe community and the benefits we gain from it. A safe community helps us feel physically and emotionally safe, especially in these uncertain times. My community is a lifeline for me and Libby. It's helped us weather mental health crises, given us plenty to look forward to, and has been a light for us even in the darkest of times. I've shared before that I wish it didn't take me over 30 years to find this community, yet having found it is the more important dynamic in our search for safe community.

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Let's talk about hope once more. It's something that many people need more of these days, myself included. It's also something that many people wrestle with because hope can set us up for falls. That's all a part of the game and the nature of hope and hoping.

Let's talk about hope once more. It's something that many people need more of these days, myself included. It's also something that many people wrestle with because hope can set us up for falls. That's all a part of the game and the nature of hope and hoping.

For this month's hero's study, we interview Brad Onishi, a podcaster and writer with some awesome answers to my questions. He's the cohost of Straight White American Jesus, author of Preparing for War: The Extremist History of White Christian Nationalism And What Comes Next, and he has some great things to say about heroes, faith, religion, politics, and masculinity. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did! I especially like the answers to my last three questions.

Brad Onishi can be found on Bluesky at @bradleyonishi.bsky.social. You can follow his work on...

Let's talk about what lights your fire. This is one of my favorite topics because we all have at least one thing that we just come to life when we engage in the activity. It can be games, reading, writing, sports, outdoor activities, working with wood or on vehicles, painting, watching movies, etc. You name it! We all have something that lights the fire in our souls and if you're like me, these are the activities that we often set aside for things that we should be doing. Is that how it needs to be? 

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Let's talk about our beliefs. For most, if not all of us, our beliefs color how we see our world. Is your world black and white with clear lines of what's right and wrong with rigid rules? Is your world open and expansive to include many different walks of life and experiences? What we believe about ourselves and the world has a dramatic impact on how we view the world, in good and bad ways. Today I talk about what our beliefs can do and how whether you believe something is true or not, ultimately you are right.

Let's talk about a prominent topic in today's society. Today we look at authoritarianism, a wide political movement taking place all over in western societies. Much of this discussion comes from the work of Dr. Hilary McBride from her Holy/Hurt podcast (definitely give this a listen if you have experience being hurt from religious/spiritual groups). She uses five qualifiers to describe authoritarianism:

1) Control
2) Consequences
3) Compliance
4) Codependence
5) Cultural

If you are experienced all, or even some of these five Cs, there's a good chance you're involved in an authoritarian structure...

Let's talk about some lessons from another video game interest of mine. This time we're looking at the games Diablo 1 and Diablo 2. The fantastical adventures I'd have going around the world and slaying demons that were clearly the enemy was a favorite past time of mine. Nowadays, what's truly evil is much harder to discern. These two games have helped me move out of my clear as mud, black-and-white thinking that's guided my life for years. Let's dive in!

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For this month's hero's study, we interview Tori Williams Douglas! She's the cohost of the White Homework podcast, an activist, and anti-racism educator. Her experience in the conservative evangelical church and being a mother had lasting impacts on who she is and what she does. This was an incredible interview and I hope you glean as much if not more from it. Enjoy an awesome conversation!

If you want to follow Tori's work, you can follow her on Bluesky and Instagram. You can also hear more from her on the White Homework podcast.

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Let's talk about how we can be setting ourselves up for failure. Much of this comes down to expectations. I'm a king at setting my expectations too high for many of the projects I want to work on. This came up with a conversation Libby and I had with our friend Katie about some of our financial goals that we're not meeting. It's good to have goals that will stretch you, but also having ones that are reasonable prevent us from falling into the trap of losing faith and hope in ourselves. Let's look at w hat we can...

Let's talk about myth and the power it's had over the generations. From my research, it appears that the purpose of myth is to offer explanations to unusual dynamics of our world. Why do we have pain and sorrow? Why is there evil in the world? Why do children change as they get older, before there was an understanding of trauma and hormones? Why are some people born differently, mentally and/or physically? Why do hippopotami fling their poop around? Today, we look at three stories from various culture's myths to look at how they tried to answer these...

Let's talk about how we can handle resistance in our lives. Have you ever found yourself doing something that you believe in your heart you should do and that's when the world seems to come against you as if you are trying to get a wedding cake for a gay wedding from a Christian baker? Bad analogies aside, resistance is a natural part of life, and much of this resistance likely is coming from us! I've mentioned many times that trying to change anything in our lives or develop new habits are hard because our brains naturally want to...

For this month's hero's study, I take a look at David Tennant. I wish I could get him as a guest on the podcast, but let's be real with the expectations...for now. David Tennant is a phenomenal actor from Doctor Who and Harry Potter, among others that I haven't seen, and he is also a stalwart ally to transgender and LGBTQAI+ individuals, going so far as to call out people in power in the UK and creators of IPs that have provided him with work. He proudly wears rainbow pins and speaks to the injustices being done to...

Let's talk about how we can create a new story for ourselves. If you're like me, and hopefully you're not, you can have a running dialogue offering colorful dialogue as to why life is the way that it is. Many of these come from past experiences and influences from others in our past and present. The important thing is that we can change it if we change the story that we're telling ourselves. Of course, there are outside influences that can make this difficult, such as systemic racism and political or social pressures. It's easier for me to say...

Let's talk about trauma once more. As my understanding of trauma grows, we can expect more expansions on this topic. Last time I shared about trauma through the lens of "little t" and "big T" traumas. Some experts in the field still use this language, and others aren't fans and prefer to use post-traumatic stress (PTS) trauma and complex post-traumatic stress (CPTS) trauma when referring to different experiences that have an adverse and lasting impact on our minds and bodies. People can experience events that are traumatizing to most and not have any kind of post-traumatic baggage that they...

Sorry again for the bad audio. I swear we're almost done with these. I'm not too sure how many of these I recorded with my earbud, but there shouldn't be much more if this isn't the last one.

Let's talk about adverse experiences. Have you ever heard of ACEs? When I worked at becoming a coach, I learned about ACEs for the first time, and they are adverse childhood experiences. These have such a strong impact on our lives and the decisions that we make on a regular basis. Let's take a look at what this can...

Apologies once again for the terrible audio. I'm almost through the batch I recorded with this bad microphone. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Let's talk about speaking your truth. In my journey to become the hero in my story, speaking my truth has been an important aspect of my walk. A couple of mentors of mine described it with this simple comparison: the difference between using the word "but" and "and" when you are talking about your experiences. Boiled down, if we use "but" to describe an adverse childhood experience, it becomes a dichotomy where...

For this month's hero study, I brought on my friend Brandon to share his story. He's a Christian, an engineer, pilot, a member of the Mid-Columbia Master Singers, and published author! We met through our gaming group and our friendship has grown since. Part of his story involves being ostracized by his friend group and finding acceptance from his mentors. He's also received incredible words against these thoughts throughout his life.

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Sorry again for the poor audio on this one. I recorded a couple of episodes before discovering how bad the headphones mic sounded.

Today, let's talk about the power that our words can have. Similar to my sticks and stones episode I released much earlier, our words have the power to destroy or build up. With some recent familial troubles, I experienced both. Some members of my family said things when emotions were high and hurt, manipulated, and tried to guilt us into doing what they wanted us to do. Other members of my family said some...