Hot Mess Espresso

What happens when you're diagnosed with both borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?

I'm joined by Kaelah Renee, aka Life of a Borderline Narc, to talk about her experience living with both diagnoses, including intense shame spirals, emotional dysregulation, and how becoming a mother pushed her to break the generational cycles she grew up with.

We also get into the difference between having NPD and being abusive, why calling every shitty ex a narcissist is doing more harm than good, and how social media has turned legitimate mental health terminology into a...

After nearly 20 years in the tattoo industry, Joshua Short has seen firsthand just how much goes on behind the scenes that most people never think about.

I sat down with the founder of Tattoos Saved My Life to talk about the personal struggles that led him to create the nonprofit, the mental health challenges artists face, and how the tattoo community became a lifeline during one of the hardest periods of his life.

We get into burnout, ADHD, social media pressure, and the emotional weight of being the person people open up to...

Ten months after losing her 18-year-old son Jake to an overdose, Malisa Hepner returns to HME for a conversation neither of us could have imagined having the last time she was here.

Malisa shares who Jake was beyond the circumstances of his death, what happened after he unknowingly took a synthetic opioid, and why she’s chosen to speak publicly about his story despite the stigma surrounding addiction and overdose.

We also get raw and real about the reality of grief nearly a year later: the physical toll of trauma, how her family has learned to...

Franky Corcoran is back, which means we attempted to have a structured conversation and instead ended up exactly where you’d expect.

We catch up on everything that’s changed since his last HME appearance: from 300+ episodes of The Corcoran Entertainment Show and writing his first novel, Beneath the Badge, to burnout, anxiety, knowing when to slow down, and learning that saying “no” is sometimes the only way to keep doing the things you actually love.

Somewhere along the way, we also get into grief, getting older, the weird realization that life moves way too damn fas...

It’s been over a year since I’ve done a solo episode, so apparently we have some catching up to do.

Like you all asked: it’s just me, a microphone, your questions, and the usual inability to stay on topic. I’m talking about the last year of my life: grief, relationships ending and beginning, finally getting out of survival mode, the uncomfortable amount of growth that happened somewhere in between, and why I almost walked away from HME entirely.

Then we get into your questions: protecting parts of your life when you share so...

Six years of training together and I finally got my personal trainer, Will Barker, on the pod... and yes, he can confirm that I still complain about going to the gym.

We talked about the messy intersection of fitness and mental health: what “giving yourself a fighting chance” actually looks like when depression, anxiety, ADHD, chronic pain, or life in general makes showing up hard. Will breaks down why motivation isn’t something we can rely on, why discipline is a limited resource, and why sometimes the win really is just walking through the damn door.

From...

Joe Buck is back! And apparently staying busy was not enough, so he decided to casually add creating a whole comedy festival to the list.

We catch up on the last year of Joe’s life, from leaving a stable career and diving deeper into nonprofit work to comedy, fitness, rejection, relationships, grief, and what it actually means to keep choosing growth when growth is wildly uncomfortable. We also get into using comedy to process the hard shit without turning the stage into a therapy session, learning to be okay with failure, and why success doesn’t have...

Jake didn’t realize just how heavy “Reasons to Stay” was when he wrote it, until his own mom told him the song helped her through a dark moment. That realization changed the way he looked at the music subtitles. was making: it wasn’t just music anymore.

Fresh off their tour with Free the Witness and the release of their debut album, "subtitles On.": we get into how a vocalist in the U.S. and a drummer in France somehow built a band across an ocean, what their first real tour taught them, and the mildly depressi...

Buckle up, because this one went a little left in the most HME way possible. This week, I was able to dive in with Jana Stern, host of The Just Jana Show. What starts with her incredible mental health journey somehow takes us through BPD, astrology, spirituality, crystals, Gemini men, and a few much needed detours along the way.

Jana opens up about growing up with a father with schizophrenia, developing a severe eating disorder, surviving an overdose, receiving a Borderline diagnosis, and the years of treatment and self-discovery that followed.

We...

This week, I was able to sit down with Dr. Erin Ventoso, a RocDoc provider and host of the Hardcore Healing Pod. We just DOVE into a conversation about mental health, music, and what taking care of yourself actually looks like... especially when your job happens to involve living on the road.

Erin opens up about navigating OCD, anxiety, and a later ADHD diagnosis, how music became a lifeline for her, and the not-so-glamorous reality of keeping touring musicians and crews healthy behind the scenes. We get into nervous system overload, sustainable self-care, why healthcare on tour...

After having the pleasure of meeting up with the guys from Lives Lost when their tour came through, this week I’m joined by Tanis, Shawn, and Dan to talk about the reality of building a band, surviving tour, and making music out of some of the hardest parts of life. We get into how the band has evolved with a new lineup, writing through grief and trauma, and what it’s like putting deeply personal songs into the world knowing someone else might hear their own story in them.

Of course, we couldn’t keep things seriou...

This episode hits a little differently for me. JT isn’t just a guest: he’s my friend, and I still remember getting the text after he got out of the hospital telling me how close he had come to ending his life. I’d talked to him just days before and had absolutely no idea what he was carrying.

One year and one day after his attempt, JT joined me to talk openly about what led him there, his experience in the mental health system, and what the last 366 days of choosing to stay have actually looked...

This week, I’m joined by marriage and family therapist Candice Coughenour for a very real conversation about relationships, communication, and all the complicated stuff that happens when two people bring their own histories, triggers, and nervous systems into the mix. We talk about why premarital counseling deserves way more attention, how neurodivergence can impact communication between partners, and what it actually means to take accountability for the role we play in our relationship patterns.

We also get into boundaries versus requests, people pleasing and overfunctioning, learning to sit with discomfort, and why “protecting your peace” doesn’t necess...

Nervous system resets, cortisol, supplements, hormones… the internet has approximately 47 solutions for everything wrong with us. So I sat down with integrative health practitioner Ashley Cruz Arata to cut through some of the noise.

Ashley shares her own journey from being repeatedly told she was “fine” to discovering a precancerous thyroid tumor, and how that experience completely changed the direction of her life and career. We talk about medical dismissal, chronic illness and mental health, functional medicine, supplement overload, perimenopause, and why “resetting your nervous system” probably isn’t as simple as TikTok makes it sound.

The bigges...

We've all been told our best years are supposed to be in our 20s, but what if they're later in life? This week, I sit down with Andy Bigelow to talk about rebuilding after life completely flips you upside down. From divorce and losing his career to moving back in with his parents and starting over, Andy shares how he found his footing again one small step at a time. We also get into creativity, podcasting, dark humor, and why sometimes the best way through the mess is to laugh at it. It's a conversation about resilience, reinvention, and...

Dr. Shannon Sauer-Zavala returns to the podcast to share the results of her groundbreaking clinical trial and officially introduce BPD Compass, her new workbook designed to make effective Borderline Personality Disorder treatment more accessible. We talked about what the research revealed, why BPD is often misunderstood, how personalized treatment can create meaningful change in just 18 sessions, and what the future of BPD care looks like. Plus, BPD Compass is now available to order, giving both individuals and therapists a practical, evidence-based resource to start building lasting change and relief to those suffering from BPD.

This week, I'm sitting down with author Corwin Michaels for one of the most powerful conversations I've had on the podcast. Corwin shares his experience growing up in foster care, navigating adoption, surviving unimaginable abuse, and how those experiences shaped both his mental health and the fantasy worlds he creates as an author. We also dove into religious trauma, ADHD, bipolar disorder, therapy, resilience, and why telling your story can be one of the most healing things you do. It's an honest, emotional conversation about surviving what should have broken you, and choosing to keep living anyway.

This week, I sit down with fellow podcaster Matt Homes for a real conversation about creative burnout, knowing when to walk away, and finding your way back to something you love. We also get into parenting, breaking generational cycles, accountability, and trying to do things differently than the way we were raised. It's honest, a little messy, and a reminder that sometimes the hardest person to hold accountable is yourself.

The Homes Room Pod is officially (mostly) back up and running, so go check it out now!

This week, I'm hanging out with Dayton, Anthony, and Evan from Best Days Behind for a conversation about music, mental health, creativity, and never giving up on what you love. From songwriting and stage stories to anxiety, therapy, and finding your voice, this episode is packed with laughs, honesty, and plenty of pop-punk nostalgia.

Find them on Instagram: @bestdaysbehindfl

Society as a whole "thinks" they understand disability, until Tye’s story smacks them right in the face. From childhood milestones to a brutal healthcare system, Tye lays out the raw, unfiltered truth of living with muscular dystrophy and navigating a world that often seems designed to dismiss or ignore him. We break down the myths around disability, why society still sees us as "less than," and how that impacts everything from insurance to social acceptance. Understanding isn’t just about awareness: it’s about demanding better treatment, better policies, and a culture that stops treating disabled bodies as anomal...

“You cannot wait to be motivated to create.”

Most couples kill their creative momentum by trying to do everything alone, and then there's Taylor Joy Stevens and Cobain Rivers. These founders, parents, and creative souls reveal the secret sauce behind blending business, family, mental health, and a whole lotta love without losing your mind or your flow. From turning coffee into a creative catalyst to navigating neurodivergence and shifting from "hustle hard" to "heal hard," this episode is packed with raw honesty and surprising insights. You'll discover how a simple mindset shift helped Cobain free hims...

Olga Lastovetska defied the odds, beating stage 3 ovarian cancer at 27 with unconventional treatments and sheer determination. Her main drive? Wanting to preserve her fertility & become a mother one day. The journey she carved for herself challenges misconceptions about cancer, highlighting the power of personalized medicine, mental resilience, and nutrition. Listen in to dive into how she took the scariest point of her life and turned it into a purpose for women all the globe.

Most people would throw in the towel when diagnosed with terminal cancer, but Mellissa? She fights like a pro, breaking every rule and redefining what it means to truly live. Faced with a stage four diagnosis, she turned her fears into furious action, spending her savings, challenging the system, and leaning on her fierce support squad to keep pushing forward. In this unapologetically real conversation, Mellissa spills her journey from escaping childhood trauma to battling aggressive cancer during a global pandemic. We break down her unconventional approach to treatment, the importance of surrounding yourself with warriors rather than bystanders...

Juju Green (aka Straw Hat Goofy) sat down with me this week and we dove right into it: how he took the scenic route and ended up rubbing elbows with Tom Cruise, Ryan Coogler, and movie legends while casually dropping Netflix-worthy stories. In this episode of wild tales, Juju shares how he went from growing up in Compton to becoming the go-to guy for Hollywood premieres, exclusive interviews, and viral TikTok breakdowns. Juju's journey into podcasting and beyond is the comedic, chaotic, inspiring roller coaster you didn’t see coming, but won’t want to miss.

So many of us want to break the silence around mental health and trauma, but few dare to share the raw, unfiltered truth. Carolyn Dreyer did, and her story is a rollercoaster of pain, resilience, and breakthrough that made me speechless for the first time in 128 episodes. From unprocessed grief and survival shame to harrowing assaults and the fight to regain safety, her journey is a masterclass in facing the darkest moments and choosing to heal anyway.

Ever wondered what it takes to turn a childhood dream into a radical community movement? Meet Che Monique, founder of the Society of Fat Mermaids, who went from stapling paisley fabric on a homemade tail to being one of Netflix’s most unexpected mermaid stars. Her journey is a splash of activism, creativity, and self-love, proving that liberation can start with a fantasy and blossom into a vibrant movement. In this episode, Che shares how a Pride Parade inspired her to create a size-inclusive mermaid fashion line that celebrates fat bodies, Black mermaids, and queer joy. You'll discover how re...

When people think of poetry, some can think it's just pretty words, but for Deanna Repose-Oaks it’s the secret weapon behind surviving a lifetime of trauma, mental health battles, and a crazy family saga. She’s penned six poetry books, each one a raw, beautiful reflection of her journey through chaos, depression, and healing. Deanna opens up about her tumultuous past: being adopted, growing up amid drug addiction and shattered family ties, and battling the invisible wounds of trauma. You’ll hear how she turned her darkest moments into power, using poetry as both refuge and rebellion, hiding her fe...

Content creators are finally beginning to talk about the toll fame takes on mental health, and Andy Neal has been talking about it for a while. He went from 5,000 followers to international news in just months, all while balancing hiking, body positivity, and the reality of living in the spotlight. He dives into how viral fame isn’t just about likes: it’s about managing the unexpected attention, the trolls, and the sweet moments of connection with celebs like Deborah Messing. Andy also talks about how he turned his passion for outdoor mental health into a full-blown career, why auth...

Most of us have been conditioned to see anger as a dangerous, destructive force, but what if we’ve been totally wrong? Davina Hehn flips the narrative, revealing how anger is actually a vital compass guiding us toward self-awareness, healing, and transformation. Davina shares her wild personal journey from Hulk-smashing walls to masterfully managing her rage all while navigating marriage, parenting, and her own mental health crises. If you’ve ever felt like your emotions are a ticking time bomb or that dealing with anger means self-sabotage, this episode is your game-changer.

CONTENT WARNING: suicidal ideation, attempts & passive suicidality

Most conversations about mental health tiptoe around the passive side of suicidality, but Olivia Meyer and I are here to blow the lid off that silence. When surviving multiple suicide attempts, you realize it's not just about wanting to die, sometimes it’s just about wanting the pain to stop, and nobody talks about that. You’ll discover how passive suicidality impacts attempt survivors long after the scars fade, and why society’s obsession with "the dramatic" leaves countless suffering in the shadows. Olivia, a survivor hersel...

Most people think podcasts are all about Hollywood gossip or the latest TikTok trends. Franky Corcoran proves it’s also about mental health, sobriety, and busting imposter syndrome wide open, all while joking about dogs eating cat poop. Yup, this episode isn’t your typical HME story; it’s a candid, hilarious deep dive into navigating life’s toughest moments with authenticity and humor. Franky’s journey from battling crushing anxiety and pandemic breakdowns to becoming a fearless mental health advocate is nothing short of inspiring. He shares how he quit drinking, how therapy saved him, and why talking about grie...

Most of us are just trying to keep it together, but what if the key to self-healing is blending music, therapy, and a little bit of parts work? Justin Randolph: songwriter, trauma-informed artist, and guy who moved his family to Thailand drops some seriously mind-expanding insights that could revolutionize how you handle your inner chaos. Justin's story is a wild ride through musical journeys, mental health breakthroughs, and how internal family systems (IFS) became his personal soundtrack for healing. He’s not just singing about feelings; he's capturing his inner parts in a concept album that explores everything from pe...

Most entrepreneurs are one bad mental health day away from meltdown mode... unless they listen to this. Christi Johnson reveals her struggle with a burnout so severe, it shut her business down & almost made her lose herself completely. But that didn't keep her down, she’s now building a business and life that prioritize her mental health first. Her story is a rollercoaster from hypomanic episodes and emergency crashes to radical self-care and boundary-setting that turned burnout into breakthrough.

Most pageant queens are all glitz, glam, and a sprinkle of cattiness, but Gillian DiAddazio is rewriting the script. After retiring her crown at 16 and making a bold comeback as an adult, she proves that authenticity beats perfection every time. You’ll discover how Gillian’s journey from shy girl to pageant queen transformed her outlook, and why modern pageantry is more about integrity and purpose than pom-poms. We break down the real pressures behind those sparkling crowns, including the mental health struggles, the social media comparison trap, and the toxic “glitz pageant” culture she’d rather see fade away. Plus...

Most people think bipolar diagnosis is something that magically appears in your late teens or early twenties. Bri McKay? She got it at just seven years old after a hospital stay at age five and a lot of research. She’s not just a storyteller; she’s breaking down childhood mental health mysteries that most adults don’t even get until they’re well into therapy. Bri’s candidly sharing her journey, from unmarked childhood signs to navigating the industry as a bipolar artist, actress, and musician. Brie also reveals her raw, unfiltered thoughts on therapy, medication, self-awareness, and the import...

Michelle Savage is here to blow the lid off that myth. She’s a mindset and nervous system coach who one day realized that regulating her body’s signals, not just her thoughts, was the secret to actually transforming her life and unlocking her best self. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of stress, anxiety, or relapse... this episode is your new best friend. Michelle shares her incredible story of battling lifelong anxiety, hitting rock bottom, and ultimately building a thriving life after 11 years of sobriety. She breaks down how stress keeps your mind in survival mode...

Think you know all there is about music, mystery, and making a splash? Think again. Kevin McClure’s journey from teenage pop-punker to mind-blowing indie artist isn’t just inspiring; it’s a masterclass in intentional storytelling. through lyrics, albums, and even his own life. Kevin’s new album, “Flawlessly Flawed,” isn’t just another record, it’s a philosophical rollercoaster about embracing all your contradictions. He’s blending genres, dropping pre-release exclusives in vinyl and CD first, and tossing in a secret invite-only party that’s as rare as a unicorn at a metal festival. We break down his influences: from...

Josh Bell, host of the Real Reel podcast, spills the horror tea, sharing why he’s obsessed with slasher flicks, why horror is a safe zone for fear, and how movies turned him into a lifelong film nerd (spoiler: it’s not what you think).He breaks down the real-life inspirations behind classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and how even serial killers influence the genre’s dark brilliance. Curious about remakes that outshine the originals? Or why CGI can ruin rather than elevate your favorite franchises? Josh has both the facts and the hilarious takes. Perfect for horror buffs...

Most romance writers start with love stories. Britton Ashley? She started with grief, then turned it into a series about family, healing, and second chances that’ll hit you right in the feels. If your grandma’s passing made you question everything, her journey from heartbreak to happily ever after is exactly what you need to hear.

Britton’s got a refreshingly real take on writing from the heart: she shares how a family tragedy sparked her Rocky Romance series, blending grief and romance in a way that’s both healing and painfully beautiful. You’ll discover how she na...

Your favorite indie singer-songwriter just went deep, and it’s worth every emotional mile. Imagine pouring your soul into a record about the toughest battles with mental health, grief, and identity, and then sharing it with the world. Reeya Banerjee did just that, turning her personal pain into a raw, healing album called The Way Up. Yep, it’s a record about falling apart and rising stronger, and she’s here to tell you exactly how she did it.But hold up, this isn’t just about music. Reeya’s journey through bipolar episodes, suicidal crises, and childhood trauma reads like a...