Dildo Whisperer

Sex on the Down Low: Secrets, Sexuality & The DL

What exactly does it mean to have sex "on the down low"? Is it simply about privacy and discretion, or can keeping your sex life secret become a problem? This week on The Dildo Whisperer, we're taking a deep dive into the complicated world of sex on the DL.

We'll explore why people keep their sexual lives hidden—from being closeted or dealing with family, religious, and cultural expectations to concerns about safety, relationships, and social stigma. We'll also examine the racial and cultural history surrounding th...

Halloween is the perfect excuse to explore fantasy, confidence, sexuality—and maybe a little bit of lingerie! 👻🔥 In this special Halloween episode of The Dildo Whisperer, Romaine welcomes Ducky Doolittle of Lunetta Lingerie for a fun and revealing conversation about the sexy side of Halloween.

Why do costumes make us feel more confident? What is it about stepping into a different persona that can unlock a more adventurous side of ourselves? And when does a Halloween costume cross the line from fun fantasy to something that just doesn't work?

Romaine and Ducky talk about lingerie as outer...

We've all had it: the awkward hookup, the disappointing date, the partner who just didn't get it, or the encounter that left you wondering, "What the hell was THAT?"

This week on The Dildo Whisperer, we're talking about bad sex—what makes sex bad, why even good relationships can have terrible sexual experiences, and whether bad sex can actually be fixed. We'll explore everything from poor communication and selfish partners to mismatched expectations, lack of chemistry, awkward technique, and the dangers of assuming porn is a how-to guide.

But what do you do when you fi...

What happens when you're dating someone who isn't out of the closet? Maybe they're out to a few close friends but not their family. Maybe you're completely open about who you are while they're asking you to keep your relationship a secret. And maybe you understand why they're not ready—but you're starting to wonder how long you're willing to wait.

In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer Podcast, we're talking about the complicated reality of dating someone who isn't out. We'll explore the difference between privacy and secrecy, how being closeted can affect intimacy and...

What if you could have an STI and have absolutely no idea? In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer Podcast, we're talking about the infections that can fly under the radar—sometimes for months or even years—without obvious symptoms.

We'll break down what people really mean when they say an STI is "dormant," which sexually transmitted infections can remain hidden, and why feeling perfectly healthy doesn't necessarily mean you're STI-free. We'll also talk about why regular testing matters, what you should actually be asking to be tested for, and how different sexual activities can require different type...

Bears, Bears, Everywhere!

This week on The Dildo Whisperer, Romaine is shaking things up! With Ajay out this week dealing with some medical issues, Romaine welcomes her good friend Chris to the podcast—and he comes armed with plenty of stories and opinions.

The topic? Bears! From bear weekends and regional gatherings to some of the biggest bear events around the world, Romaine and Chris dive into what makes this community and its events so much fun. Chris has been to bear events all over the globe, and he's ready to spill the tea on wh...

Sexuality doesn't disappear because someone has a disability—but too often, that's exactly how society treats it.

In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we're joined by renowned sex educator, author, and Lunetta Lingerie owner Ducky Doolittle for an eye-opening conversation about sex, intimacy, and disability. Together, we challenge the myths and misconceptions that often leave people with disabilities out of conversations about dating, relationships, pleasure, and sexual wellness.

Ducky shares her expertise on navigating body image, communication, accessibility, adaptive intimacy, and the importance of creating inclusive spaces where everyone feels seen, respected, and empowered. We...

Everyone talks about red flags in dating—but what about the yellow flags that deserve a closer look, or the green flags that tell you a relationship is healthy and worth investing in?

In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we're breaking down the warning signs, the caution signs, and the positive signs that shape our romantic relationships. We'll explore the behaviors we often ignore because of chemistry, attraction, or wishful thinking, the yellow flags that call for honest conversations instead of quick judgments, and the green flags that show you're building a relationship based on trust, re...

Breaking up is one of the hardest conversations we'll ever have—but it doesn't have to be one of the cruelest.

In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we're exploring how to end a relationship with honesty, compassion, and respect. Whether you've been dating for a few months or sharing a life together for years, we'll discuss how to recognize when it's time to move on, how to prepare for the conversation, and how to communicate your decision without unnecessary blame or drama.

We'll also tackle some of the biggest breakup questions: Is ghosting ever ok...

Bro Code. Everyone's heard of it, but what does it actually mean? Is it a sacred set of unwritten rules, or just an excuse to avoid difficult conversations?

In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we're unpacking the infamous Bro Code—the unspoken guidelines that shape friendships, dating, loyalty, and relationships between men. From the rules about dating a friend's ex to keeping secrets, having each other's backs, and navigating romantic conflicts, we explore where these expectations come from and why they continue to influence the way men interact.

We'll also examine the consequences of br...

Fisting is one of the most misunderstood topics in sexual health. It's often surrounded by myths, misinformation, and sensationalized portrayals—but rarely discussed in an honest, educational way.

In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we take a judgment-free look at what fisting actually is, why some people choose to explore it, and how communication, consent, and preparation play a critical role in practicing it as safely as possible. We'll discuss the differences between vaginal and anal fisting, the importance of anatomy, lubrication, and patience, as well as the do's and don'ts that can help reduce the ri...

How do you figure out what you actually like in bed if no one ever taught you how? In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we're talking about sexual self-discovery through the work of smart, sex-positive authors like Ducky Doolittle, Carol Queen, and Betty Dodson. From masturbation and body literacy to fantasy, toys, communication, and learning the difference between what you should want and what genuinely turns you on, this episode is all about using books as tools for curiosity, confidence, and pleasure.

If you've ever felt unsure of your turn-ons, embarrassed by your inexperience, or disconnected...

Have you ever wondered what actually happens in a sex therapist's office? Is sex therapy only for couples in crisis—or can it help anyone build healthier, more satisfying intimate relationships?

This week on The Dildo Whisperer, I'm joined by AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Vanessa Cushing for an honest, insightful conversation about the challenges so many people face—but few feel comfortable talking about. From mismatched libidos and communication struggles to performance anxiety, body image, shame, and rebuilding intimacy, Vanessa shares practical advice for creating stronger connections both inside and outside the bedroom.

We also expl...

What happens when alcohol or substances have been part of the way you flirt, hook up, date, or feel sexy—and then suddenly they're not? In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we're talking about sex and sobriety: the awkwardness, the vulnerability, the fear, and the freedom that can come with learning how to navigate intimacy without a chemical buffer.

From liquid courage and lowered inhibitions to consent, confidence, hookup culture, and discovering what you actually want when you're fully present, this episode explores the complicated relationship between substances and sex. Whether you're in recovery, rethinking your ha...

This week on The Dildo Whisperer, we're joined by musician, author, award-nominated adult performer, and trans icon Blake Lovely for a candid conversation about confidence, sexuality, self-expression, and living authentically. This is part 2 of our conversation.

From growing up in rural Virginia knowing she was destined to become the woman she is today, to building a successful music career, transitioning, and becoming one of the most recognized trans performers in adult entertainment, Blake shares her remarkable journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

We discuss body image, attraction, dating, intimacy, the realities of working in the adult...

This week on The Dildo Whisperer, we're joined by musician, author, award-nominated adult performer, and trans icon Blake Lovely for a candid conversation about confidence, sexuality, self-expression, and living authentically. This is part 1 of our conversation.

From growing up in rural Virginia knowing she was destined to become the woman she is today, to building a successful music career, transitioning, and becoming one of the most recognized trans performers in adult entertainment, Blake shares her remarkable journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

We discuss body image, attraction, dating, intimacy, the realities of working in the adult...

Have you ever wished your partner could read your mind in the bedroom? You're not alone. One of the biggest obstacles to a satisfying sex life isn't technique—it's communication.

In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we're talking about how to ask for what you want in bed without feeling awkward, selfish, or embarrassed. From overcoming shame and fear of rejection to learning how to give constructive feedback and discuss fantasies, desires, and boundaries, we'll explore practical ways to improve communication and strengthen intimacy.

Whether you're in a long-term relationship, dating someone new, or si...

What separates a charming flirt from a cringeworthy pickup artist? Is flirting something you're born knowing how to do, or is it a skill anyone can learn?

This week on The Dildo Whisperer, we're exploring the art of flirting—the subtle dance of attraction, communication, confidence, and connection. From eye contact and body language to playful teasing and digital dating, we'll break down what flirting really is and why it's such an important part of human interaction.

We'll discuss the psychology behind attraction, common flirting mistakes, how to recognize when someone is interested (or not in...

How long is sex supposed to last, anyway? And what exactly counts as premature ejaculation?

In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we're tackling one of the most common—and most misunderstood—sexual concerns: premature ejaculation (PE). Whether you've experienced it yourself, have a partner who has, or you're simply curious about the science behind it, we're separating fact from fiction and taking the shame out of the conversation.

We'll explore what premature ejaculation actually is, why it happens, and how anxiety, stress, biology, and unrealistic expectations can all play a role. You'll learn practical tech...

Pack your bags — and maybe your carry-on toy cleaner — because this week on The Dildo Whisperer, we're diving into your listener questions!

We're talking about the dos and don'ts of traveling with sex toys, how to navigate airport security without dying of embarrassment, and what you should know before packing chastity devices or prostate toys for your next adventure.

We also explore the fascinating — and surprisingly controversial — medical history of the vibrator, including how these devices were once marketed as respectable wellness tools long before they became symbols of sexual empowerment.

Along the way, we...

Erectile dysfunction medications like Viagra and Cialis are more common than ever — but how much do we really know about them?

This week on The Dildo Whisperer, we dive deep into the world of ED medications: how they work, why people use them recreationally, the pressures surrounding sexual performance, and the very real health risks that can come with misuse.

We also tackle one of the most important harm reduction conversations in queer nightlife and hookup culture: the dangerous combination of ED drugs and poppers. Why is this mix so common, and why can it be...

This week on The Dildo Whisperer, we're diving into one of the messiest modern relationship questions: Is it cheating if it only happens in your head?

Is fantasizing about an ex during masturbation crossing a line? What about during sex with your current partner? We explore the emotional grey areas of relationships, including emotional affairs, online flirting, secret texting, social media behavior, and the complicated space between fantasy and betrayal.

Cheating isn't always physical anymore — and every relationship defines boundaries differently. This episode unpacks why these topics trigger such strong reactions, how secrecy changes the eq...

This week on The Dildo Whisperer, we're blasting off into the strange, sexy, and surprisingly common world of alien sex fantasies. From alien impregnation storylines and futuristic pleasure devices to tentacles, abduction roleplay, and sci-fi seduction, we explore why the unknown can be such a powerful turn-on.

What do these fantasies reveal about curiosity, transformation, power, and human desire? Why do so many people find freedom in imagining sex beyond the limits of humanity? And how has pop culture shaped our fascination with extraterrestrial intimacy?

Join us for a fun, open-minded conversation about one of...

Coming out isn't just for teenagers—it happens every day, at every age. In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we explore what it means to come out later in life: the fear, the freedom, the grief, and the sexual awakening that can follow. Whether you're navigating this journey yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers compassion, real talk, and a reminder that it's never too late to live your truth.

Send the us your sex and relationship questions and maybe you will inspire the next episode of The Dildo Whisperer. We have two ways to...

May is Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating by diving headfirst into the world of self-pleasure, stigma, and sexual self-discovery. This week on The Dildo Whisperer, we're joined by Parker Woods—the reigning "Master Bator" turned host of the hit reality series The Great BateWorld BateOff on BateWorld.

Parker takes us behind the scenes of Season 5, where five contestants compete in inventive (and sometimes surprising) challenges like "Hands Free" and "Mirror Bate," all in pursuit of the ultimate title. But this conversation goes beyond the show—exploring how masturbation intersects with confidence, shame, body awareness, and sexual health.

Have you ever noticed that the porn you used to watch doesn't excite you anymore — and you start looking for more extreme or unusual content just to feel turned on? In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we talk about porn tolerance, dopamine, escalation, and why the brain starts chasing novelty. From niche fetishes to taboo fantasies, we explore why this happens, when it becomes a problem, and how to find balance without shame.

Send the us your sex and relationship questions and maybe you will inspire the next episode of The Dildo Whisperer. We have two wa...

Cuckolding is one of the most misunderstood fantasies in modern sexuality. Is it about humiliation? Power? Trust? Jealousy? In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we break down what cuckolding actually is, why some people are turned on by it, and how consent, communication, and emotional safety make the difference between a healthy kink and a harmful situation.

Send the us your sex and relationship questions and maybe you will inspire the next episode of The Dildo Whisperer. We have two ways to reach the show. You can call into our show at 844-695-2766 or you...

We all say we have a "type" — but where does that type come from? In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we explore the difference between personal preference and social prejudice when it comes to attraction. Are we drawn to certain people because of chemistry, comfort, culture, or conditioning? And how can having a rigid type impact who we choose to date — for better or worse? This episode dives into psychology, bias, dating patterns, and how understanding your attraction can lead to healthier relationships.

Send the us your sex and relationship questions and maybe you will inspire the...

In this episode of The Dildo Whisperer, we talk about Hooters, Twin Peaks, and other "breastaurant" style restaurants — and the bigger conversation they raise about body image, sexualization, and cultural expectations for women. Are these places harmless fun for adults, or do they reinforce unrealistic beauty standards that affect how women see themselves? We explore the difference between sexual expression and objectification, the impact on young women, and how to talk about these issues without shaming the people who work in these environments.

Send the us your sex and relationship questions and maybe you will inspire the ne...

What does it really mean when people say someone has "let themselves go" in a relationship? In this episode, we unpack the complicated mix of comfort, attraction, body changes, and effort that comes with long-term partnerships. Is getting comfortable a sign of emotional safety—or relationship complacency? We explore the pros and cons of settling in, how cultural expectations shape our views on attraction, and how couples can maintain desire without unrealistic pressure.

Send the us your sex and relationship questions and maybe you will inspire the next episode of The Dildo Whisperer. We have two ways to...

Does your number of previous partners matter when it comes to dating? In this episode of the Dildo Whisperer, we talk about body count, sexual history, double standards, insecurity, and how past experiences can (and can't) impact relationships. We explore why people care, when it's relevant, and how to talk about your sexual past without shame, pressure, or judgment.

Send the us your sex and relationship questions and maybe you will inspire the next episode of The Dildo Whisperer. We have two ways to reach the show. You can call into our show at 844-695-2766 or...

In this encore episode- One of our listeners sent in a topic idea and this week the Dildo Whisperer and Ajay discuss how music can enhance the sexual experience. Find out what makes a great sex playlist and how to make one! Plus, learn about why music is such an important tool in your sex tool box. 

Send the us your sex and relationship questions and maybe you will inspire the next episode of The Dildo Whisperer. We have two ways to reach the show. You can call into our show at 844-695-2766 or you can e...

Aftercare is not optional—it's part of the play.

In Part 5 of the Finding Pleasure in Pain series, we're talking about aftercare: the physical and emotional support that helps bodies and minds recover after pain play. From hydration, warmth, and first aid basics to reassurance, emotional presence, and post-scene check-ins, this episode explores why aftercare is essential—not extra.

We'll unpack common post-scene experiences like sub-drop and Dom-drop, how to negotiate aftercare before a scene, what to do when aftercare is missed or mismatched, and why self-aftercare matters too. Whether you're new to pain play or d...

Pain doesn't just live in the body—it can move emotions, unlock release, and create powerful moments of connection. In this episode of Finding Pleasure in Pain, we explore what it means emotionally to find pleasure in pain and why this experience is so meaningful for many people.

We talk about emotional release, control and surrender, grounding, trust, and intimacy, as well as how power exchange and consent shape these experiences. This conversation also gently addresses the complexity of pain, trauma, and choice—without assuming that kink is about being "broken" or needing to be fixed.

W...

Taking a break from sex while in a relationship can feel scary, relieving, confusing—or all three at once. In this episode, we explore the idea of a sex "time out": what it is, why couples choose it, and whether it's actually a healthy move or a relationship red flag.

We talk about the potential benefits—like reducing pressure, rebuilding emotional intimacy, and reconnecting with desire—as well as the real concerns, including mismatched expectations, feelings of rejection, and what happens when a break isn't clearly defined. You'll hear how to tell if a sex break might suppor...

Pain can be powerful, erotic, and deeply connecting — but only when it's grounded in safety, consent, and awareness. In this fourth episode of Finding Pleasure in Pain series, we explore what risk-aware play really looks like, how to recognize when it's time to stop, and what to do when pain play isn't working the way you hoped.

We talk about physical and emotional warning signs, safewords, aftercare, and why ending a scene early is not failure — it's skilled play. This episode is about choosing intention over endurance, communication over performance, and care over ego.

Because the...

Valentine's Day can feel awkward when you've just started dating. Is a card too much? Is doing nothing a red flag? And does the holiday automatically come with expectations around sex?

In this episode, we're breaking down Valentine's Day ideas that work for brand-new connections—without forcing romance, labels, or pressure. From low-key date ideas and thoughtful gestures to navigating intimacy and mismatched expectations, this episode is all about keeping things intentional, communicative, and fun.

Whether you're a few dates in, newly exclusive, or still figuring out what this even is, this episode will help yo...

Advocating for your sexual health in a medical setting shouldn't feel scary — but for many of us, it does. In this episode, we break down how to speak up for your body, your pleasure, your identity, and your boundaries in healthcare spaces that don't always make room for honest sexual conversations.

From preparing for appointments and asking hard questions to navigating bias, shame, and dismissal, this episode empowers you with tools, language, and confidence to become an active participant in your sexual wellness care. Because your pleasure, comfort, and autonomy are not optional — they are essential.

W...

Pain doesn't always mean suffering — sometimes, it means connection, trust, and unexpected pleasure.

In this  third episode of Finding Pleasure in Pain series, we explore the many types of pain play within BDSM, from impact and sensation play to psychological and endurance-based dynamics. We'll break down how pain can feel pleasurable, why different bodies and minds experience it differently, and how consent, communication, and aftercare transform pain into a powerful, intimate exchange.

Whether you're kink-curious, experienced, or simply looking to understand BDSM more deeply, this episode offers a compassionate, educational look at how pain can bec...

What does it actually mean to date a trans person—and how is gender identity different from sexual orientation?

In this episode of the Dildo Whisperer, we break down the basics without dumbing it down. We explore common myths, unpack attraction and labels, and talk about what respectful, affirming dating looks like when your partner is trans. From pronouns and communication to sex, pleasure, and consent, this conversation centers curiosity over assumptions and people over labels.

Whether you're dating a trans person, questioning your own attractions, or just want to be a better, more informed pa...