Not As We Planned
New episodes every Thursday, with exclusive bonus episodes every Monday on Patreon.Welcome to Not As We Planned, the honest podcast about relationships, dating, marriage, divorce and motherhood, and all the things no one really talks about. From becoming a mum and navigating divorce, to rebuilding life as a single mum and dating again in your 30s, we’re sharing the real, messy and unexpected sides of it all. Life doesn’t always go to plan, and neither do relationships. This is a space for open conversations, shared experiences and saying the things most people avoid.If you have a ques...
My Husband Bought His Mistress Matching Wedding Rings… Before We Were Divorced
This week, we're reading two absolutely heartbreaking stories of betrayal. One listener discovers her husband has been cheating throughout their 12-year relationship, only for him to move in with another woman and buy a house around the corner! Another receives an anonymous letter accusing her husband of having an affair, before discovering handwritten love letters, thousands of pounds in payments and Valentine's cards to his mistress. Despite everything, her family thinks she should stay. Plus, Tash shares her BBC Breakfast appearance, Carly opens up about a difficult week of motherhood, and we hear a truly outrageous confession involving a...
A Man Punched Tash's Car… Then Threatened Her With A Hammer
It’s Halloween, and we’ve got some truly terrifying relationship stories for you! This week, we hear from a Bestie who spent almost FIVE YEARS with a man she believed was separated, only to discover he was still married and had welcomed another baby with his wife during their relationship! We also have a VERY revealing update from the man who previously wrote in about his experiences with supposedly straight men, including some who are now married with children. Plus, Carly shares a shocking confrontation with a stranger who punched her car and threatened her with a hammer, and...
Rosie On Surviving Breast Cancer At 35 With Two Young Children
At just 35 years old, with two young children and a daughter about to celebrate her first birthday, Rosie discovered a lump in her breast that would change her life forever. In this incredibly emotional episode, Rosie joins Tash and Carly to share her breast cancer journey, from receiving her diagnosis and undergoing 16 rounds of chemotherapy to losing her hair, having a double mastectomy and discovering she carried the BRCA1 gene mutation. She opens up about the heartbreaking reality of facing cancer as a young mum, the impact on her relationship, making life-changing decisions about her body and fertility, and...
We Waited 23 Years To Get Married… He Cheated 3 Months Later
Imagine spending 23 years with someone, raising three children together and finally getting married… only to discover he’s been talking to another woman just THREE MONTHS after your wedding. One listener thought she had the perfect life until she discovered weeks of phone calls between her 44-year-old husband and a 24-year-old woman. He insisted he was simply helping her through a breakup, but when she started digging, the truth began to unravel. He’d saved her number under her son’s name, sent intimate messages and told her he loved her. Now, just seven months into their marriage, she’s question...
I Found Out My Husband Had A 16-Year-Old Son I Knew NOTHING About
Imagine receiving a letter and discovering your husband has a 16-year-old son you knew absolutely nothing about. One listener had spent years believing his version of how a previous relationship ended, only for a child-support letter to reveal the truth. Now she’s trying to process the fact that her husband kept an entire child secret from her, while working out how they eventually tell their own 10 and 8-year-old children that they have an older brother. And the biggest question is: after a lie this big, how do you ever trust someone again?
We also hear fr...
I’m The Other Woman… And I’ve Fallen In Love With Him
One Bestie has a confession she never thought she’d be making: she’s the other woman. What started with a work colleague who has a long-term partner and two children has turned into a year-long affair, and now they’ve both admitted they have feelings for each other. She knows what they’re doing is wrong and desperately wants to end it, but there’s one major problem: she still has to see him at work. So how do you walk away from someone you’ve fallen for when you can’t completely remove them from your life?
Then...
Carly Got A Nose Job… And She’s Finally Revealing Everything
Carly is back with a new nose! After years of feeling insecure about it, she finally flew to Turkey alone for the nose job she’d wanted for years. She opens up about why she decided to do it, the panic that hit before surgery, the mental battle during recovery and what it was really like seeing her new face for the first time. We also get very honest about the financial reality of becoming a single parent, the pressure of trying to keep up a lifestyle that was originally built on two incomes, and why single mums can so...
I’d Just Given Birth When I Found THESE Messages On His Phone
Three weeks after giving birth, one Bestie woke in the middle of the night panicking that she’d missed an alarm to feed her newborn. She couldn’t find her own phone, so she picked up her husband’s to check the time… and messages from another woman appeared on the screen. She was still bleeding, wearing a postpartum nappy and caring for their two tiny children when she discovered her husband had been having an affair with a woman they both worked with, and it had been going on for months.
This week we also hear fro...
Carly’s Dating Update Just Took A VERY Weird Turn…
Carly thought she’d finally met someone who ticked all the boxes: great chemistry, great dates, hours spent talking on the phone and seemingly all the right things to say. Then she discovered he was sleeping with multiple women. But this week, the story takes an even stranger turn when she finds him back on Tinder… using a completely different name. Now she’s questioning whether she ever really knew who she was dating in the first place.
We also hear from a woman whose affair with her married boss spiralled into years of broken promises, pregna...
Young Parents, 3 Million Followers And Life Behind The Kern Family
Eight months into their relationship, Charlotte found out she was pregnant at just 20 years old. From becoming young parents and figuring out their relationship along the way, to building a life online with an audience of over 3 million, this week we’re joined by Connor Kern and Charlotte Cucurnia from The Kern Family.
We get into the reality behind the family you see online; becoming parents before they were prepared, the pressures it put on their relationship, arguments and learning how to communicate, why relationship therapy came up, raising three children and balancing family life with mi...
I Gave My Cheating Husband A Second Chance… 10 Years Later I Regret It
She discovered her husband was having an affair, chose to forgive him and spent the next 10 years rebuilding their marriage… only to find herself right back where she started. This week, we hear from a woman questioning whether she wasted a decade after discovering the red flags had returned — and the receipts she eventually found left very little to the imagination. Now single at 50, she’s trying to stop blaming herself for staying and work out what comes next.
We also hear from a mum trapped in an increasingly controlling relationship who is terrified of how her par...
My Boyfriend Faked Cancer While My Mum Was Dying
Imagine watching your mum die from cancer while the man you trust tells you his cancer has come back too… only to discover he made the whole thing up.
This week we hear from a listener whose boyfriend lied about having cancer while her mum was terminally ill, before she discovered he had been cheating all along. We also hear from a woman who spent years trying to save her marriage through debt, lies and affairs, only to uncover another year-long relationship and experience the reality of post-separation abuse after finally leaving.
Plus, we...
I Married The Wrong Person… But It Led Me To The Love Of My Life
What if your biggest heartbreak is actually the beginning of your happiest chapter?
This week, we share some of the most uplifting listener stories we’ve ever received. From a woman whose husband left her for her friend before she unexpectedly found the love of her life, to a listener whose husband walked out just weeks after their wedding and during pregnancy, only for her to build the blended family she’d always dreamed of. We also hear from women who thought they’d never trust again, survived affairs, divorce and heartbreak, and discovered that life really can ge...
Hollie Dowding: Surviving Domestic Violence... How I Finally Sent My Abuser To Prison
When Hollie Dowding finally walked away from her abusive relationship, she never imagined the journey that would follow.
In this powerful and emotional conversation, Hollie shares how coercive control, trauma bonding and domestic abuse slowly took over her life, why leaving wasn't as simple as "just walking away", and how she found the strength to fight for justice, ultimately seeing her abuser sent to prison. She also opens up about the healing process, living with PTSD, and why she's now dedicated to helping other survivors through her podcast and House of H.E.R.
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My Husband Is The Perfect Dad… So Why Do I Think He’s Cheating?
A listener tells us about the growing feeling she can’t ignore… her husband seems like the perfect dad, but she’s convinced something isn’t right. Is she overthinking it, or are the signs pointing to something more?
We unpack the story, share our honest advice, and discuss whether trust your instincts or give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Plus, we help a listener improve their dating profile, chat about modern dating, and answer more of your relationship dilemmas and listener stories.
If you’ve ever questioned your relationship, doubted your insti...
I Finally Left My Toxic Relationship… So Why Do I Miss Him?
You finally leave the relationship everyone told you was toxic… so why do you still miss it?
This week, we unpack a listener’s confession about leaving a toxic partner only to find herself missing the chaos she fought so hard to escape. We discuss why healthy relationships can sometimes feel “boring,” the psychology behind toxic attraction, and whether it’s possible to break the cycle for good.
We also dive into another heartbreaking listener story about infidelity in the workplace, share our thoughts on modern dating, and catch up on everything that’s been happe...
Why So Many Boys Are Struggling Today & What Parents Can Do with Raising Boys 2 Men
Boys today are facing challenges that previous generations never had to navigate, but are we raising them in the right way?
This week, we’re joined by Raising Boys 2 Men for an honest conversation about why so many boys are struggling, the impact of modern parenting, social media, positive male role models, and what parents can do to raise confident, emotionally resilient young men. We also discuss the mistakes we see too often, the conversations families avoid, and why the way we support boys today will shape the men they become tomorrow.
Whether yo...
My Best Friend Lied To Me For 10 Years…
What would you do if you found out your best friend had been lying to you for over a decade?
In this episode, we unpack one listener’s shocking story, review another dating profile, help a man navigating struggles in his marriage, and talk about the common mistake people make by confusing emotional unavailability with chemistry.
If you’ve ever questioned your relationships or your dating choices, this one’s for you.
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He Faked Cancer While I Was Pregnant
She thought she’d finally found her happy ending.
After blending their families and welcoming a new baby together, everything seemed perfect… until she discovered the man she loved had been living a shocking double life.
This week, we read one of the most unbelievable stories we’ve ever received, hear from a listener trapped in a controlling relationship after 12 years together, and discuss why your gut instinct is often trying to protect you long before your mind catches up.
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He Ghosted Me For 5 Weeks… Then Came Back Like Nothing Happened
He disappeared without a word for five weeks… then came back expecting another chance.
This week, Carly opens up about the emotional reality of co-parenting, we help a listener decide whether she’s holding on to someone’s potential instead of who they really are, hear from a woman who discovered her partner’s affair while she was eight months pregnant, and ask one very satisfying question… what happens when your cheating ex gets cheated on?
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My Husband’s Entire Life Was A Lie
A listener discovers that her husband’s entire life was a lie.
After 14 years together, two children and what seemed like the perfect marriage, one tiny clue unravels everything.
We also hear about a disastrous date involving a murder trial, review another Hinge profile, and help a listener decide whether to break no contact with the woman he can’t stop thinking about.
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He Didn’t Forget My Birthday, He Ignored It
Tash opens up about her kids being around her boyfriend, the Snapchat message that wasn’t meant to be sent, when a break can help your relationship and the breadcrumbs that keep you there for too long
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He Left Me For a Man
Carly opens up about her grief, a story that will remind you that kids really do absorb the environment they are in and after 20 years together he left his wife for a man.
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Omg That’s NEW Information…I’m Terrified!!
You share the sluttiest things you’ve ever done, we give feedback on the first Hinge profile you’ve sent in, the separation after 20 years and the long-term emotional affair found out on Snapchat!
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I'm Always The One That's Left
We hear about a relationship where HE never wants to have sex, how drugs and alchohol ruined a relationship and wondering why you're always the one who's dumped.
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I Trusted Him 100% Until I Checked His Phone
We discuss our most toxic traits in a relationship, when you get warned about your partner on your wedding day and when we discuss that two happy homes is better than one unhappy home!
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How Many Red Flags Did I Ignore?
We discuss your pettiest reasons you stopped seeing someone, we hear about the suspicions of someone who thinks her partner may be sleeping with her former best friend and ignoring TOO many red flags.
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I Was Ghosted 5 Years Into Our Relationship | Not As We Planned Podcast
We go down memory lane with all our previous relationships, you share the BRUTAL ways you were dumped, changing the way we date with the 3 men dating approach and when your partner decides he no longer wants a baby… but you’re now pregnant
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I Found Out He's Been In Prison | Not As We Planned Podcast
This week, we discuss feeling like you have hit rock bottom, we have a look at the calibre of the dating pool and hear a story about a man whose little lies were just the tip of the iceberg.
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Turning Pain Into Power | Not As We Planned Podcast
When you think you need the concrete evidence but what you know is enough, when the man you thought was perfect turned out to be your biggest lesson, and questioning whether to continue the relationship or end it before you commit for life.
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I Can't Stop Comparing Myself to His Ex | Not As We Planned Podcast
This episode discusses worrying about your boyfriend’s ex moving back into town, feeling on edge around a suspicious colleague who's just disappeared into thin air, and dealing with fears about your partner’s connection with his children’s mum. We also hear a powerful story of a woman who’s been through hell and come out stronger.
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My Ex is my Guilty Pleasure | Not As We Planned Podcast
Tash shares her news which is life changing, when you have an affair with your ex and you’re not sure what to do, when going no contact is the only way, and when your boyfriend has been hiding a whole other life for over 2 years!
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Should I Have an Affair? | Not As We Planned Podcast
Carly shares a deeply emotional update while trying to hold everything together.
We hear from a woman in a sexless marriage considering an affair with her boss, a chaotic dating story involving a back-door escape, and a shocking discovery that points to a partner cheating.
Plus, a powerful anonymous confession from a mum who admits she’s been gaslighting her own son.
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Colin @loudsingledad: Our First Male Guest! A Man’s Perspective on Separation, Coparenting & Dating! | Not As We Planned Podcast
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When Hope Ends Up Costing You A Lot | Not As We Planned Podcast
Tash shares the hurdles she’s had to face during her break-up, when you stick by your partner through his addiction, a man shares an extremely moving explanation of his addiction, and needing the courage to walk away from a man who has allowed you to carry him through your whole relationship.
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Sabrina Zohar: Everything You Need to Know About Dating & Relationships | Not As We Planned Podcast
Dating can feel confusing, frustrating and at times completely overwhelming. In this episode, renowned dating and relationship expert Sabrina Zohar joins us to answer your most pressing questions - from navigating no contact and mixed signals to building healthy, secure relationships that actually last.
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I Can’t Stop Sleeping With My Daughters Boyfriend | Not As We Planned Podcast
It’s a dating episode guys and we have delivered the goods! First up, the man that shat himself on a first date, the most shocking affair we have EVER come across, the romantic stroll along the dirty river and being the third wheel with the ‘platonic bestie’
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Poor Excuse of a Man | Not As We Planned Podcast
We’ve had some shocking updates from our listeners. In one case, an affair turned out not to be just one, but two. Another story involved a man desperately trying to hide his whereabouts during a FaceTime call. One mum was excited for her family holiday, only to discover her partner had already been frolicking in the sea with another woman. Another man had an affair with someone 13 years younger and, as if that wasn’t enough, she later found out he had been visiting prostitutes… more than 40 in just six months.
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You Need To Leave This Relationship NOW!! | Not As We Planned Podcast
Tash gives us an update on finally going no contact but what occurred beforehand, we share some dating stories just in time for valentines day… the man who wanted to drive into a brick wall, playing hide and seek when the date isn’t going well, being presented with a penis in the car, wanting to leave your marriage but guilt is stopping you and when you get caught in the lie!
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The Worst Affair Story You've Ever Heard | Not As We Planned Podcast
When you realise you’re carrying your whole relationship, when your partner leaves you for someone else, when your baby daddy is mia for a year and then you find out the most shocking news as to why, and stopping the cohabiting with your ex!
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