The Healthy Compulsive Project

The thing you once wanted became the thing you have to do — and the moment it did, it stopped being fun.

Psychotherapist and Jungian analyst Gary Trosclair calls this the Should Effect: the quiet process by which genuine desire hardens into rigid obligation. You start with a choice, and end up with a commandment — enforced by an internal "hit man" of humorless self-discipline that was supposed to help you, but now runs your life.

Drawing on three decades of practice, this episode explores how driven, perfectionistic people lose the very thing that motivated them:

There's a civil war happening inside you — and you may not even know one side of it exists.

After 30 years as a psychotherapist, I've noticed something remarkable: every person who walks into my office with depression, anxiety, or compulsive patterns is fighting the same battle. One part of them is running the show. Another part — equally real, equally legitimate — has been silenced.

Drawing on Carl Jung's concept of "holding the tension of opposites," the Core Conflictual Relationship Theme model, and five case studies from my practice — including an architect whose body went on strike and a lawyer...

Do you find yourself locked in a relentless, exhausting crusade against perceived injustices, even when they're entirely out of your control?

In this episode, we explore the psychology behind 'Holy Wars' — those deeply ingrained, often futile battles we fight, driven by perfectionism, old programming, or past experiences like anger and fear. We’ll discuss why these crusades feel so necessary, the psychological toll they take, and actionable steps for letting go of resentment . Learn how to identify when you're caught in this trap and how to finally redirect your intensity toward meaningful causes that truly align with your...

 You try to help, and somehow you become the enemy. You explain your feelings, and suddenly you're the one being blamed. These aren't random relationship failures — you're cycling through Karpman's Drama Triangle, and until you recognize the pattern, you'll keep fighting the same battles with different people. Psychotherapist and Jungian analyst Gary Trosclair breaks down the three archetypal roles — Rescuer, Victim, and Persecutor — how they show up in the driven, compulsive personality, and five practical steps to step out of the triangle for good.

Why do driven, high-functioning people sometimes find themselves trapped in codependency  — bound to others in ways that feel obsessive, compulsive, and impossible to escape? In this episode, psychotherapist and Jungian analyst Gary Trosclair explores the hidden connection between compulsive personality types and codependent relationship patterns. Drawing on  attachment theory and Jungian psychology, Gary breaks down how the four compulsive types — the Mentor-Boss, the People-Pleaser, the Workaholic, and the Overthinker — each fall into codependent relationships  in their own distinct ways. You'll learn how popular culture romanticizes dependency, how your attachment style shapes your relationship habits, and why interdependence  — not codependence — is the healthi...

Why do so many disciplined, high-functioning people keep pushing themselves long after the tank is empty? This episode explores the hidden costs of overusing willpower and why self-control, though powerful, can become destructive when it loses contact with the body, emotion, values, and limits. It looks at how rigid ideas of strength, externally driven perfectionism, and fear-based motivation can trap people in cycles of depletion. It also offers a healthier alternative: a more flexible definition of strength and a more sustainable way of working from desire rather than pressure.

If you’ve ever felt unsure what you want, relied on logic where feeling should guide you, or wondered why emotions seem elusive, this post is for you. Alexithymia—“the unspeaking heart”—is not a lack of feeling, but a learned and often inherited difficulty accessing it. Drawing on research, clinical insight, and everyday examples, this piece examines how emotions become blocked, the quiet costs of living without emotional clarity, and how the heart can relearn to speak through awareness, therapy, and practice.

For people who are stubbornly perfectionistic, obsessive and compulsive, change can be hard to come by. Particular personality traits that can be positive can also manifest negatively. In this post we explore six of the main blocks to change, including, avoidance motivation, impatience, magnifying difficulties, unrealistic goals, being too cerebral, and clinging to the safe benefits of old ways.  

There are both among us and within us young souls and old souls. Some of them fulfilled and some of them unfulfilled.  Typically, people with obsessive-compulsive personality traits are old souls, and they can express that part of them either constructively or destructively. But usually their young soul is silenced.

This old soul is one manifestation of the archetype of the Senex, or the old man. Traits such as wisdom, caution, recognition of rules and boundaries, order and stability are typical of it. In his less fulfilling manifestations, he becomes rigid, judgmental and constricted, and re...

Risk aversion once kept us alive. Today, it often keeps us trapped. Drawing on evolutionary psychology, personality theory, and clinical experience, this essay explores how outdated risk‑avoidance strategies—especially common in obsessive‑compulsive personality styles—shrink our lives, suppress desire, and turn comfort zones into psychic prisons. Living longer isn’t the same as living better.

Compulsive traits are often judged as rigid or unhealthy, but they originate in qualities that once helped humans survive. This essay reframes compulsiveness as an adaptive style—rooted in conscientiousness, focus, and persistence—and explores how these traits can become strengths when consciously directed. Through research, evolutionary psychology, and a clinical vignette, it shows how finding the right “calling” transforms compulsion from a burden into a gift.

Receiving an OCPD diagnosis can leave you unsure where to begin, but the traits that once fueled rigidity and perfectionism can also support meaningful change. This guide introduces RAILS, a five‑step framework designed to help you start removing the “disorder” from your obsessive‑compulsive personality. The steps encourage building self‑respect, acknowledging how maladaptive perfectionism has caused harm, identifying the protective strategies you’ve used to manage insecurity, learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions rather than avoiding them, and realigning your daily actions with your true values and priorities.

By consistently practicing these tools—through therapy, journaling, re...

A Husky narrates a compassionate, humorous, and perceptive account of living with a human who has obsessive‑compulsive personality disorder traits. Through keen canine observation, the Husky contrasts natural dog instincts—flexibility, presence, connection—with the rigid routines, perfectionism, rationalization, and emotional struggles of the human world. The story explores themes of routine, control, relationships, emotional expression, and the possibility of change. Ultimately, the dog encourages humans to keep perspective, let go more easily, and remember what truly matters: connection, simplicity, and a few good belly scratches.

What if the machine controlling your life isn’t out there—but inside you? Using The Matrix as a lens, this post exposes how maladaptive obsessive‑compulsive personality patterns act like internal programs that hijack authenticity, drain energy, and keep us locked in a dream of perfection, urgency, and control. Drawing from psychological research and Jungian theory, it reveals how these inner mechanisms develop, how they deceive us, and—most importantly—how we can take the red pill, wake up, and choose a more conscious, compassionate way of living.

It takes courage to make a relationship work. The courage to admit you’re wrong. The courage to persist when you’re right. The courage to take chances in communication, generosity and vulnerability. And most of all, the courage to objectively look at what’s happening emotionally inside of you. This episode explores projection and projective identification, two psychological processes that can make or break a relationship. It also suggests way to handle them when they're happening and to prevent them from happening in the first place.  

Ever felt like something was “just not right” even when nothing is wrong? Psychologists call these Not Just Right Experiences (NJREs)—a subtle but powerful force behind OCD and OCPD. Learn what they are, why they matter, and how to manage them before they hijack your peace of mind.

We’ve got perfectionism all wrong. The real problem isn’t high standards—it’s the illusion of perfectibility and harsh judgment that have been grafted onto it. Perfectionism began as a guide toward purpose, but centuries of distortion turned it into an enforcer of impossible ideals. Instead of banishing perfectionism, we can reclaim its adaptive side—commitment, persistence, and pursuit of excellence—while stripping away conceit and control. By befriending perfectionism, acknowledging its shadow, and clarifying our purpose, we transform it from a tyrant into a trusted partner. This episode brings together science and Jungian psychology for an unconvention...

Explore practical insights and nuanced strategies for working with clients who have obsessive-compulsive personality traits. Drawing on 33 years of experience, this post addresses common challenges, misconceptions, and ways to foster meaningful change—while offering a behind-the-scenes look for those in therapy.

This is an extended interview in which endurance athlete, coach, and podcaster Travis Macy asks me about the driven personality and broader questions of well-being. Having set records in some truly astounding endurance races, Travis knows about perseverance, resilience and fortitude, all of which exist as potential in the obsessive-compulsive personality. We compare notes about competition, athletics, optimizing our energy, dealing with tension, and approaching our goals in a healthy way. We touch on developing a better relationship with the body, how mindfulness meditation actually helps, and how Chronic Urgency Stress Syndrome (CUSS) will drive us crazy if we...

This essay explores how perfectionist and obsessive-compulsive personalities construct “fortresses” to avoid humiliation, embarrassment, and shame. Through vivid stories and cultural examples—from Steve Jobs to Michael Jackson—it identifies four compulsive types (Boss, Workaholic, People-Pleaser, and Obsessor) and shows how their strategies both protect and imprison them.

Carl Jung famously wrote that the gods have become diseases. What he meant was that because we no longer consciously acknowledge the powerful forces we used to call gods and goddesses, they’ve gone underground and manifest in our physical and mental ailments. However unbelievable they might seem, they are still forces to be reckoned with. Such is certainly the case with Ananke, the Goddess of fate, compulsion and inevitability. People with a need to control can learn a great deal from her. 

Explore how compulsive perfectionism creates alienation, and the science-backed benefits of as sense of connection to something larger than yourself. And discover practical ways to restore a sense of connection with Nature and the Universe for greater peace and well-being.

To make a dent in the pile of material you might feel you have to read to be up on the most recent developments in mental health, here's a practical review of the relatively new approach to therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, with brief examples of how to apply it. Because one of the main goals of ACT is flexibility, it can be very helpful to anyone struggling with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), or to those just challenged by some obsessive-compulsive traits, perfectionism, workaholism, or Type A personality.

Anxiety dreams may seem simply like a nuisance at first glance. But slow down and pay attention and you might find they have something to tell you about how you are living and how you see your world. Issues of avoidance, authenticity, and being tested can all show up in anxiety dreams. Seen as a source of wisdom, these dreams can lead you in new directions should you choose to engage with them. 

Creativity may be one of the most fulfilling activities we have. Unless it’s blocked. Then the desire to be creative can feel like torture. But there are ways to get unblocked. In this episode we will talk about the possible benefit of compulsive urges, and the destructiveness of obsessive thinking. We’ll look at how the avoidance of feelings of anxiety and insecurity becomes a block. And we’ll look at the positive benefits of being in the present moment, and personifying The Blocker can be helpful. 

Seriousness is an occupational hazard for obsessive-compulsives, Type A's and perfectionists. Being serious can hurt relationships, mental health and physical health. Yet many of us feel duty-bound to be serious, and we lose out on the benefits of humor and laughter--which can melt the rigidity which comes with being so serious.  

 What happens when a rigid devotion to rules, order, and perfection replaces our ability to feel, connect, and live? In this episode, we explore two moving character studies from Fredrik Backman’s novels A Man Called Ove and Britt-Marie Was Here. Through Ove and Britt-Marie—both fictional but deeply familiar—we see the beauty, heartbreak, and potential of the obsessive-compulsive personality. These stories show what can go wrong when emotional life is outsourced or buried—and what can go right when we begin to reclaim it. From tragic emotional isolation to unexpected transformation, this conversation offers insight, humor, and hope for...

How do we know if we are micromanaging? If you constantly look over someone’s shoulder, give them detailed instructions, distrust them, and make mountains out of molehills, it will discourage creativity, diminish morale, and disrupt relationships. It may even lead to them ignoring you. It brings about the opposite of your desired effect. Productivity, responsibility and ingenuity all decrease. It's like trying to break a horse to train it. Instead we need to macromanage, to consider the larger picture of our values and priorities.  

 Is RO DBT a new answer for overcontrol and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)? This post introduces Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a treatment developed for overcontrolled personalities, and explores how well it fits the traits and needs of those with OCPD. Clinical insights, pros and cons, and personal reflections included. 

How do perfectionist and compulsive traits shape fatherhood? This post explores the challenges and opportunities for the obsessive father—how those traits can either alienate or elevate, harm or heal. Learn how self-awareness, values, and mindset can help fathers navigate the line between heroic and harmful.

Compulsive behavior is often dismissed as neurotic, but what if it's a deep call for connection and purpose? This post explores the redemptive potential of obsessive-compulsive personality traits—how they can become a source of meaning, growth, and compassion when understood properly.

Is burying the past holding you back? Most of us live as if we are still in the past without being aware of it. Discover how understanding your personal history can help you reclaim buried strengths, rewrite limiting stories, and live more freely in the present.

Ever wonder if you're being passive-aggressive? Learn how to spot the signs, understand your hidden motives, and shift toward more conscious, assertive communication.

 Explore the true motivations behind punishment, its impact on relationships and society, and learn how to cultivate awareness to prevent destructive tendencies. Discover healthier ways to handle conflict and promote genuine justice. This episode explores the evolutionary and archetypal sources of punishment, how it is subtly used to more selfish ends, and how we can use it more effectively. 

In this episode we explore the profound though often unseen energy that leads to either wholeness or compulsive behavior. If this energy is blocked from its true goal, it make make us unbalanced. Discover Carl Jung’s insights on compulsive behavior and how blocked growth can lead to obsession. Learn how to unlock your potential through individuation.

Insecurity underlies many of the mental health challenges we all experience, as if we are always taking a test and always fearing failure. But what causes this insecurity and how do we become more secure? In this episode we explore the three most common aspects of insecurity (feeling unlovable, morally deficient, or lacking incompetence), the parental, environmental and cultural causes, the strategies we enlist to deal with the insecurity, and three steps to move toward healthy security.  

For those of you who are skeptical about whether therapy is effective, I get it. Who’s to know whether what goes on behind closed doors does any good? And isn’t it in the interest of the therapist to excavate all sorts of problems to keep those checks coming? Therapists actually share those sorts of suspicions. We want to know about the truth and about motivation. In this episode I explore some of the reservations people have about therapy, and how we can actually work with those concerns for your benefit.  

There’s an increasing amount of research which suggests that spending at least two hours each week engaging with nature improves our well-being. And because of the epidemic of Nature Deficit Disorder (yes, it’s a real thing), an increasing number of healthcare professionals are even prescribing time in nature. This research implies that it’s beneficial for everyone, but there's good reason to believe that it can be particularly beneficial for people who are driven, Type A, and obsessive-compulsive, because they’re faced with certain mental and physical challenges that being in nature can help with. Spending time in natur...

Life is not easy, and we actually make it harder if we imagine we can sashay through it effortlessly. But we can also make life more difficult than it needs to be by imagining that the path forward is steeper than it really is. In this post I explore the effect of "Mountain Mirage," its causes and its cures. 

To have a good relationship we need to learn to speak the love languages that our partner can understand and feel. This can be particularly uncomfortable for people who are obsessive-compulsive, because they are most familiar with one particular language. But learning a new language is always good, and the energy and determination that come with being obsessive-compulsive can help you to learn it.