Hardcover Hooligans

Bella is a shy transfer student who meets Edward, a handsome boy with a BIG secret.

Twilight
By Stephanie Myer
Published in 2005 by Little, Brown, and Company

Spoilers
Twilight

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Being a woman is…hard? Huh???

Yesteryear
By Caro Claire Burke
Published in 2026 by Knopf

Spoilers
Yesteryear

Content Warning
Discussion of sexual assault and domestic violence

Support Us on Patreon!
Get access to ad-free episodes, extended episodes, our Discord server, and bonus episodes. https://www.patreon.com/HardcoverHooligans

Buy books at Bookshop.org!
Support your local bookstores and favorite content creators (not big corporations!) by using bookshop.org/store/hardcoverhooligans

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If you liked the show, please leave us...

A book about a lady who just likes being on her phone.

Yesteryear
By Caro Claire Burke
Published in 2026 by Knopf

Spoilers
Yesteryear

Content Warning
Discussion of sexual assault and domestic violence

Support Us on Patreon!
Get access to ad-free episodes, extended episodes, our Discord server, and bonus episodes. https://www.patreon.com/HardcoverHooligans

Buy books at Bookshop.org!
Support your local bookstores and favorite content creators (not big corporations!) by using bookshop.org/store/hardcoverhooligans

Thanks for Listening!
If...

This is a preview of a Patreon-exclusive episode. To get access to the full bonus episode, extended and ad-free versions of other episodes, plus our private Discord, you can sign up at https://www.patreon.com/HardcoverHooligans

--

The year is 2099. Greek gods called Spartans are in charge of the world. A weak and nerdy teenager has to get good at fighting. Plus there’s other stuff.

Blood of Hercules
By Jasmine Mas
Published in 2024 by Canary Street Press

Spoilers
First half of Blood of Hercules
Some sp...

Sarah J. Maas doesn’t want you to think too much about her books.

Spoilers
Some of A Court of Silver Flames
All of A Court Of Wings and Ruin
All of A Court Of Thorns and Roses
All of A Court of Mist and Fury
Some of A Court of Silver Flames

Sarah Halverson’s Recommendations
https://bookshop.org/lists/sarah-s-recommendations-hardcover-hooligans-podcast
Something Borrowed, by Emily Giffin
When the Emperor was Divine, by Julie Otsuka
Circe, by Madeline Miller
Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte
Kind...

A court of the most selfish maniac psychopaths ever set to print.

A Court of Wings and Ruin
By Sarah J. Maas
Published in 2017, by Bloomsbury Publishing.

Spoilers
All of A Court Of Wings and Ruin
All of A Court Of Thorns and Roses
All of A Court of Mist and Fury

Links:
Summary of the book:
https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/court-of-wings-and-ruin/summary/

SJM’s lazy fantasy map:
https://tinyurl.com/5d6e8ekn

Support Us on Patreon!
Get ac...

The concept of being anti-Irish in 2017.

A Court of Wings and Ruin
By Sarah J. Maas
Published in 2017, by Bloomsbury Publishing.

Spoilers
First half of A Court Of Wings and Ruin
All of A Court Of Thorns and Roses
All of A Court of Mist and Fury

Links:
Summary of the book:
https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/court-of-wings-and-ruin/summary/

Thanks for Listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And if you want to contact us, shoot us an email...

Oh my god we’re finally done

Iron Flame
By Rebecca Yarros
Published in 2023, by Red Tower Books

Spoilers
All of Iron Flame
All of Fourth Wing

Links:
Summary of the whole book: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Flame

Thanks for Listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And if you want to contact us, shoot us an email at hardcoverhooligans@gmail.com.
And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and Tiktok if you’re into that sort o...

The only literary classic that features 15-year-olds killing each other with machine guns.

And thanks to Steph for recommending the book and being on the show!

Content warnings: This is a book where teenagers kill each other in increasingly gory and violent ways, so we chat about everything that entails (but we don’t really stay too long on it). Also some mentions of sexual assault and suicide.

Battle Royale
By Koshoun Takami
Translated by Yuji Oniki.
Published in 1999.

Spoilers:
Battle Royale

Links:
Summary of...

Holy god we can’t believe we’re still reading this

Iron Flame
By Rebecca Yarros
Published in 2023, by Red Tower Books

Spoilers

Almost all of Iron Flame

All of Fourth Wing

Some light spoilers for Mistborn, by Brandon Sanderson

A large spoiler for the Stormlight Archive, by Brandon Sanderson (Danylo announces it’s a spoiler before it happens, when he does you can skip forward 30 seconds and you’ll be fine)

Links:
Summary of the whole book: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iro...

The perfect book for Pride Month and Stanley Cup month.

Heated Rivalry
By Rachel Reid
Published in 2019.

Spoilers
Game Changer
Heated Rivalry

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If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And if you want to contact us, shoot us an email at hardcoverhooligans@gmail.com.
And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and Tiktok if you’re into that sort of thing.

Are they gay? Yes. Is that their only real character trait? Yes.

Game Changer
By Rachel Reid
Published in 2019.

Spoilers
Game Changer

Thanks for Listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And if you want to contact us, shoot us an email at hardcoverhooligans@gmail.com.
And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and Tiktok if you’re into that sort of thing.

Our very first proper modern romance novel. Is it more pornagraphy than romance though? Yes.

Icebreaker
By Hannah Grace
Published in 2023, by Atria Books

Spoilers
Icebreaker

Links:
Summary of the whole book by Paisley Reads: https://paisleyreads.com/icebreaker-summary/

Thanks for Listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And if you want to contact us, shoot us an email at hardcoverhooligans@gmail.com.
And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and Tiktok if you’re into that sort of thin...

This is a cross-post from our brand-new second podcast, Malazan Maniacs.

Our discussion of Book 1 of Gardens of the Moon continues.

Reactor Re-Read of the Fallen articles for the sections in this episode:
Gardens of the Moon, Prologue and Chapter 1: https://reactormag.com/the-malazan-re-read-of-the-fallen-gardens-of-the-moon-part-1/
Gardens of the Moon, Chapters 2 and 3: https://reactormag.com/the-malazan-re-read-of-the-fallen-gardens-of-the-moon-chapters-2-and-3/
Gardens of the Moon, Chapters 4 and 5: https://reactormag.com/the-malazan-re-read-of-the-fallen-gardens-of-the-moon-chapters-4-and-5/

Thanks for listening!
If you like the show, please leave us a review or a comment! We love reading them, and, if they’re...

This is a cross-post from our brand-new second podcast, Malazan Maniacs.

Everyone finds out what they’re in for.

Links:
Moon’s Spawn fan art: https://64.media.tumblr.com/1dad03e062782b9062193e75c93a047b/tumblr_myfm5g9pWH1t19zq1o1_1280.jpg

Reactor Re-Read of the Fallen articles for the sections in this episode:
Gardens of the Moon, Prologue and Chapter 1: https://reactormag.com/the-malazan-re-read-of-the-fallen-gardens-of-the-moon-part-1/
Gardens of the Moon, Chapters 2 and 3: https://reactormag.com/the-malazan-re-read-of-the-fallen-gardens-of-the-moon-chapters-2-and-3/
Gardens of the Moon, Chapters 4 and 5: https://reactormag.com/the-malazan-re-read-of-the-fallen-gardens-of-the-moon-chapters-4-and-5/

That's right folks, we've got a new podcast. This time, we're sticking with one series: the Malazan Book of the Fallen.

If you've never heard of it, it's a notoriously dense high fantasy series, but Mc and Danylo both love it. Their partners...well, we'll see.

We're releasing our introduction podcast and the first proper episode here on our Hardcover Hooligans feed, but to get the rest you can search 'Malazan Maniacs' wherever you get your podcasts.

INTRODUCING MALAZAN MANIACS

We introduce ourselves, chat about Malazan generally, and talk about everyone’s...

Our eternal plod through this ‘sexy’ tome continues. Plus, a plot twist no one saw coming: maybe we want to keep reading?

CW: There’s finally a sex scene in this book, so we talk about sexually explicit topics throughout and make sexual jokes. If this is not aligned with your sensibilities, best skip this one, old chap.

Iron Flame
By Rebecca Yarros
Published in 2023, by Red Tower Books

Spoilers
Part 1 of Iron Flame
All of Fourth Wing

Links:
Summary of the whole book: https://en.wikipe...

An alternate history where everyone makes decisions using an ancient Chinese fortune telling book instead of ChatGPT.

CW: This is a book about the Nazis winning World War 2. So we talk about that sort of stuff. I’m sure you know the sort of stuff we’re talking about.

The Man in the High Castle
By Philip K. Dick
Published in 1962, by Putnam

Spoilers
The Man in the High Castle

Links:
Summary of the whole book: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_in_the_High_Castle

“This is a book written by a maniac for lunatics.” - Mc

CW: This is a sexy book, so we discuss sexual topics throughout. So don’t listen to this on speakerphone at a Wal-Mart. Or do, it would be good for our marketing maybe.

Iron Flame
By Rebecca Yarros
Published in 2023, by Red Tower Books

Spoilers
The first 200 pages of Iron Flame
All of Fourth Wing

Links:
Summary of the whole book: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Flame

Thanks for Listening!
If you...

A book that has nothing at all to do with what’s happening in our world right now.
Plus, we chat about current events in our city, which are, again, entirely unrelated to this book.

Places to donate:
Stand with MN: https://www.standwithminnesota.com/directory
Monarca (legal aid): https://monarcamn.org/
Legal Aid for Ukrainian Refugees in Minneapolis: https://www.gofundme.com/f/legal-aid-for-ukrainian-refugees-affected-by-ice

CW: mention of sexual assault at 17m19s

The Word for World Is Forest
By Ursula K. LeGuin
Published in 1972, by Doubleday

It’s the book after Fourth Wing! Fifth Wing! No wait, it’s Iron Flame.
And current events might be affecting our experience of this book…

Iron Flame
By Rebecca Yarros
Published in 2023, by Red Tower Books

Spoilers
The first third of Iron Flame
All of Fourth Wing

Links:
Summary of the whole book: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Flame

Thanks for Listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And if you want to contact us, shoot us an email...

We finally get to the NSFW parts of Fourth Wing! And also there is a sweet wizard fight.

Fourth Wing
By Rebecca Yarros
Published in 2023, by Entangled Publishing

Spoilers
Fourth Wing (entire book)

Thanks for Listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And if you want to contact us, shoot us an email at hardcoverhooligans@gmail.com.
And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and Tiktok if you’re into that sort of thing.

We tackle the booktok sensation "Fourth Wing" to find out just what all the hub-bub is about. Is it good? Bad? Sexy??
Maybe it could be all three.

Note: this is a re-upload in anticipation of our upcoming episodes on 'Iron Flame'

Fourth Wing
By Rebecca Yarros
Published in 2023, by Entangled Publishing

Spoilers
Fourth Wing (first half)

While there are several climaxes in this book, the one that matters unfortunately made no sense.

Note: due to the nature of fairy smut books, this episode contains discussions of sexual themes and situations. Use caution when playing out loud on the bus.

A Court of Mist and Fury
By Sarah J. Maas
Published in 2016, by Bloombury Publishing.

Spoilers
All of A Court Of Thorns and Roses
All of A Court of Mist and Fury

Links:
Summary of the book: https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/A...

Everyone's favorite fairy smut series is back! And this time with…less sex? And more PTSD?!

Note: due to the nature of fairy smut books, this episode contains discussions of sexual themes and situations. Use caution when playing out loud on the bus.

*Double note: * right at the top, Danylo mistaken describes the mode of fantasy communication that's used the Stormlight Archive, NOT the mode of communication used in the Mistborn series. It's important to him that you all know that he knows he was wrong.

A Court of Mist and Fury
By...

Cauldron boil and fry me! It's part two of our discussion of the fairy smut phenomenon! And yes, Feyre's bowels are still watery!

A Court of Thorns and Roses
By Sarah J. Maas
Published in 2015, by Bloombury Publishing.

Spoilers
All of A Court Of Thorns and Roses
Some series spoilers

Links:
Summary of the book: https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/a-court-of-thorns-and-roses/summary/

Thanks for Listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And if you want to contact us, shoot us an...

In anticipation of the podcast's return to the world of Sarah J. Maas, here's our first episode on the romantasy phenomenon.

A Court of Thorns and Roses
By Sarah J. Maas
Published in 2015, by Bloombury Publishing.

Spoilers
A Court Of Thorns and Roses (the first half)

Links:
Summary of the book: https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/a-court-of-thorns-and-roses/summary/

Thanks for Listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! And if you want to contact us, shoot us an email at hardcoverhooligans@gmail.com. <...

After 400 years, humanity has finally recovered all their technology…including nuclear bombs! Uh oh!

A Canticle for Leibowitz
By Walter M. Miller, Jr.
Published in 1959 by J. B. Lippincott & Co.

Links:
A Canticle for Leibowitz: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Canticle_for_Leibowitz

Walter M. Miller, Jr.: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_M._Miller_Jr.

Thanks for listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! If it’s funny, we’ll read it on air. Guaranteed.
And if you want to contac...

We finally arrive at the first piece of true advanced technology in this novel: a lightbulb.

A Canticle for Leibowitz
By Walter M. Miller, Jr.
Published in 1959 by J. B. Lippincott & Co.

Links:
A Canticle for Leibowitz: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Canticle_for_Leibowitz

Walter M. Miller, Jr.: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_M._Miller_Jr.

The Story of Job: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Job

Thanks for listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! If...

No lasers, no spaceships, just a sci-fi novel about a monk who finds a grocery list. Featuring our first ever guest on the podcast!

Sorry we mentioned the new pope so many times–it was really relevant back when we recorded this.

A Canticle for Leibowitz
By Walter M. Miller, Jr.
Published in 1959 by J. B. Lippincott & Co.

Links:
A Canticle for Leibowitz: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Canticle_for_Leibowitz

Walter M. Miller, Jr.: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_M._Miller_Jr.

How to...

After an unintentional summer hiatus, we’re back with the third and final installment of our short series on Borges short stories.

And oh no! It turns out a billionaire creating a fantasy planet with his friends can destroy the world.

Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius
By Jorge Luis Borges
Published in 1940 by Sur.

Links:
Borges:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jorge_Luis_Borges

Tlön, Uqbar, Orbius Tertius
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tl%C3%B6n,_Uqbar,_Orbis_Tertius

Thanks for listening!
...

If we claimed we wrote a Borges story and read it in its entirety at the end of our podcast, that would make the story infinitely richer.

Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote
By Jorge Luis Borges
Published in 1939 by Editorial Sur.

Spoilers
Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote, by Jorge Luis Borges

Links:
Borges:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jorge_Luis_Borges

Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierre_Menard,_Author_of_the_Quixote

Thanks for listening!<...

An infinite library implies the existence of infinite Mr. Beast video transcripts.

The Library of Babel
By Jorge Luis Borges
Published in 1941 by Editorial Sur.
Part of the story collection “The Garden of Forking Paths”

Spoilers
The Library of Babel, by Jorge Luis Borges

Links:
The Library of Babel exists!
https://libraryofbabel.info/’

Borges:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jorge_Luis_Borges

The Library of Babel:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Library_of_Babel

Thanks for listening!
If you...

The moral of this story is to not bully the girl with latent psychic abilities.

CW: discussions of violence, blood, domestic abuse, various sexual stuff, misogyny, religious abuse, and I’m sure other unpleasant things.

Carrie
By Stephen King
Published in 1974 by Doubleday.

Spoilers
Carrie

Links:
Summary and info:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_(novel)

Thanks for listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! If it’s funny, we’ll read it on air. Guaranteed.
And if you wa...

I guess books are just video games now.

This week we cover “Dungeon Crawler Carl”, the first book in the best-selling LitRPG series of the same name.

Dungeon Crawler Carl
By Matt Dinniman
Self-published in 2020.

Spoilers
Dungeon Crawler Carl

Links:
Summary and info:
https://dungeon-crawler-carl.fandom.com/wiki/Dungeon_Crawler_Carl_(Book)

LitRPG:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LitRPG

Thanks for listening!
If you liked the show, please leave us a review! If it’s funny, we’ll read it on air...

That’s right, we read comic books now! Just kidding, it’s called a graphic novel. And this one’s about a bunch of superheroes who aren’t really that super and one blue guy who is TOO super. Get ready for morally grey characters, questionable motives, and a weird spooky pirate story.

Watchmen
By Alan Moore & David Ribbons
Published in 1987 by DC Comics.

Spoilers
Watchmen

Links:
Summary and info:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watchmen

The Greater Good: Analyzing Morality in Watchmen, by Jeffrey Wu
http...

We finish The Way of Kings and are left with boredomspren floating around our computers.

Plus, we read some one-star Goodreads reviews of The Way of Kings and do a quick overview of the other Stormlight Archive books.

The Way of Kings
By Brandon Sanderson
Published in 2010 by Tor Books.

Spoilers
The Way of Kings
Misc. spoilers for Words of Radiance, Oathbringer, and Rhythm of War
(marked off at the end of the episode)

Links:
Summary and info:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The...

We embark on The Way of Kings, the first book in Brandon Sanderson’s magnum opus series, The Stormlight Archive.

This book dares to explore such important questions as “what if someone who was good at fighting also had depression?” and “what if big swords but no blood?”

Content warnings: discussion of depression, mentions of suicide

The Way of Kings
By Brandon Sanderson
Published in 2010 by Tor Books.

Spoilers
The Way of Kings
Some other Stormlight Archive plot spoilers (marked off near the end of the episode)

Link...

Fitz’s story finds a poetic, complex, and bittersweet ending, but all we can talk about are Prince Verity’s cool silver arms. Which begs the question: did Robin Hobb want Prince Verity to eventually become this world’s Silver Surfer?

As usual, we also read a bunch of one-star Goodreads reviews about the book.

Plus, we announce what we’ll be tackling next on the Hardcover Hooligans podcast.

Assassin’s Quest
By Robin Hobb
Published in 1997 by Voyageur Books.

Spoilers
Assassin’s Apprentice
Royal Assassin
Assassin’s Q...

Are chronic pain, sadness, social isolation, and the unbearable burden of duty worth it if it means you get abs?

The Hardcover Hiatus is over, and the boys are back to talk about the final sections of Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy.

Assassin’s Quest
By Robin Hobb
Published in 1997 by Voyageur Books.

Spoilers
Assassin’s Apprentice
Royal Assassin
Assassin’s Quest

Links:
Summary and info:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassin's_Quest

Elderlings in the Stone Garden:
https://shorturl.at/8EkKK