Beyond Your Number
You're more than just a personality. Beyond Your Number is a conversational Enneagram podcast where Damon and Kelly dig into what makes people tick, and what to do with what you find.We cover all 9 types, wings, subtypes, and motivations, and how they play out in real relationships, real teams, and real life. No jargon, no fluff.New episodes every Wednesday. Formerly known as EnneagramU.
Enneagram Subtypes: Social, One-to-One, Self-Preservation
Same Enneagram number, completely different behavior? Your subtype explains why. Learn the 3 instincts and which one gets your attention and energy.
A listener asked us to go deeper on Enneagram subtypes (also called instincts), so we are circling back. Your number tells you what motivates you. Your subtype shows where you naturally focus.
Social (the teamers): Asks “Do I belong here?” Reads the room, notices who is included or left out, and cares about group dynamics. The blind spot is overfocusing on fitting in and reputation.
One-to-One (the hunters): Looks for chemistry, intensity, and...
Enneagram and Grief, Part 2: How Each Type Heals
Grief isn’t only about death. Every big change can be a loss, and each Enneagram type needs something different to grieve in a healthy way.
In part 2 of our grief series, Damon and Kelly walk through all 9 Enneagram types. You’ll hear what each type needs, the invitation each one can accept, and how to use your arrows (growth directions) when grief gets messy.
Why change, even happy change, can bring grief: a new house, a different car, an empty nest, a milestone birthday.
What each type needs when grieving:
 Type...
Enneagram and Grief: How Each Type Handles Loss (Part 1)
Grief looks different for every Enneagram type. Damon and Kelly walk through how all 9 types cope with loss and what each one needs to heal.
Damon's father-in-law recently passed away after a short illness, so this conversation is honest and still raw. Kelly, a former counselor, explains the stages of grief and why they rarely move in a straight line.
Grief is not only about death. Moves, lost pets, and changes we can't control all count, so this episode applies even if you haven't had a recent loss.
Here is what each type...
Enneagram Journaling, Part 2 (Types 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9)
Enneagram Types 5 through 9 each need a different way to journal. Damon and Kelly break down what actually works for each type.
The 5 learns to journal like a researcher, connecting what they notice to how they actually feel. The 6 names fears, separates facts from anxiety, and builds evidence they can trust themselves. The 7 needs journaling to feel like an adventure instead of a chore, with quick prompts instead of a blank page. The 8 just needs permission to write the honest truth, no prompts required. The 9 uses journaling to finally hear their own voice above everyone else's opinion.
<...Enneagram Journaling, Part 1 (Types 1, 2, 3, and 4)
Journaling isn't one-size-fits-all. Damon and Kelly break down how each Enneagram type can journal in a way that actually fits how they process life, not a blank page that feels intimidating.
Type 1, the editor, often turns journaling into another place to self-critique. Kelly introduces The Appreciation Journal, built around gratitude and release instead of another list of self-improvement goals.
Type 2, the relational journaler, tends to fill the page with everyone else. This episode introduces The Me Journal, a space built entirely around a 2's own feelings, needs, and wants.
...
The Feelings Enneagram 7s, 8s, and 9s Avoid
Type 7s avoid pain with positivity. Type 8s avoid vulnerability with anger. Type 9s avoid conflict by disappearing.Â
Damon and Kelly wrap up the Feelings series by covering three types in one episode. Type 7s outrun grief and sadness by staying focused on the positive, but the difficult emotions catch up eventually. Type 8s use anger as a bodyguard for fear, hurt, and betrayal underneath. Type 9s go quiet on their own preferences and avoid conflict to keep the peace, even internally.
For each type, they walk through what the avoidance sounds like day to d...
The Feelings Enneagram 5s and 6s Avoid
Enneagram 5s and 6s share the same core fear, but it shows up in almost opposite ways. Damon and Kelly dig into what each type quietly avoids feeling and why.
For 5s, the struggle is vulnerability and the fear of not knowing. Instead of processing emotions, 5s often retreat into their heads, gather more information, or withdraw and isolate. Damon and Kelly talk through what it actually looks like to notice emotion in the body instead of just thinking about it, and why sharing something before you have it all figured out is a growth step for...
The Feelings Enneagram 3s and 4s Avoid
Threes and Fours process feelings in opposite directions: one moves fast to outrun them, the other gets pulled under by them. This episode breaks down both.
For Type 3, failure is the feeling that's hardest to sit with, along with sadness, shame, and a quiet sense of emptiness. Kelly explains why "I'm fine" is rarely the whole story for a Three, and Damon and Kelly dig into questions like who am I without accomplishing something and what emotion did I push aside this week.
Type 4 struggles in the opposite direction. Contentment and ordinary happiness are the...
The Feelings Enneagram 1s and 2s Avoid
Every person has feelings they would rather not feel. This new series starts with Ones and Twos and the emotions running quietly under the surface.
For Type 1, anger usually shows up first, but it is a secondary emotion. Underneath it you will often find hurt, exhaustion, and disappointment. Kelly walks through the questions that help a One name what is really going on, like what am I actually angry about and where am I holding myself to an impossible standard.
Type 2 tends to track everyone else's feelings while staying disconnected from their own. The tell...
Enneagram Summer Style: Types 7, 8, and 9 (Part 3)
Wrapping up the summer series with the final three types: 7, 8, and 9. Learn how Enneagram Sevens, Eights, and Nines each define an ideal summer, and where their growth edge shows up along the way.
Sevens want freedom, variety, and adventure. Damon and Kelly talk through last-minute trips, festivals, boat days, and why FOMO hits hard for a Seven stuck in a routine. The growth edge: slow down, stay present, and finish what you start.
Eights bring big energy and intensity to everything they do. Lake weekends, competitive games, and international travel are Eight favorites, along with...
Enneagram Summer Style: Types 4, 5, and 6 (Part 2)
What does a perfect summer look like for Enneagram Types 4, 5, and 6? Damon and Kelly break down how each type actually wants to spend the season, from road trips to rainy days.
Type 4s want a summer with depth and beauty, not just another trip everyone else is taking. Kelly shares why Fours crave meaningful experiences over trendy ones, and how to find joy even when plans don't go perfectly.
Type 5s need a low key summer with room to recharge. Hear why solo road trips, quiet lake mornings, and stargazing appeal to Fives, plus why...
Enneagram Summer Style: Types 1, 2, and 3 (Part 1)
Summer brings out a different side of every Enneagram type. In this episode, Damon and Kelly break down how Types 1, 2, and 3 approach summer break, vacations, and rest.
Type 1s want a productive, well planned summer that still leaves room to relax. Type 2s crave connection through cookouts, lake days, and girls trips, but need to watch for burnout. Type 3s want a summer that looks as good as it feels, with bucket list trips and fitness goals, while learning to unplug from the need to perform.
Damon and Kelly share real examples from their own...
Enneagram Heart Triad: Types 2, 3, and 4 Find Your Type
Are you an Enneagram 2, 3, or 4? In this live episode, Damon and Kelly break down the heart triad and help you identify your type through a game of Enneagram bingo.
Recorded in front of a live audience, this one covers the three heart types in depth. The Type 2 (the loving person), motivated by the need to be loved and to serve others. The Type 3 (the effective person), driven by achievement and the need to avoid failure. And the Type 4 (the original person), motivated by the need to be special and authentically understood.
For each type you'll...
Enneagram and Sales: How to Read Any Client (All 9 Types)
Every person you work with has a different way of thinking, deciding, and reacting under stress. The Enneagram gives you a map for all of it.
Damon and Kelly recorded this live at the Homebase Conference in Columbia, Missouri, speaking to real estate professionals. But the framework they teach applies anywhere people are making decisions under pressure, whether that's a sales conversation, a negotiation, a team meeting, or a difficult client interaction.
Every type shows up differently when the stakes are high. The Type 1 needs things done right. The Type 2 is thinking about...
Enneagram Conflict Styles, How Each Type Reacts (1-9)
Why does the same disagreement feel completely different to a Type 8 versus a Type 9? Your Enneagram type shapes how you react.
Damon and Kelly walk through the knee-jerk conflict response for all nine Enneagram types and what to do instead. Plus, the 20-minute rule for getting untriggered.
Quick guide to each type's conflict response:
Type 1: Criticizes others or themselvesÂ
Type 2: Becomes overly helpful or manipulatesÂ
Type 3: Spins the situation to avoid failureÂ
Type 4: Withdraws emotionallyÂ
Type 5: Detaches and goes silentÂ
Type 6: Fires off endless questionsÂ
Type 7: Escapes throug...
Enneagram Communication: What Each Type Needs to Slow Down
How do you communicate better through your Enneagram type? Each number has one habit to slow down. Here is the breakdown for Types 1 through 9.
Kelly and Damon use James 1:19 (quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry) as the lens for this episode, walking through one specific slow-down practice for each Enneagram type.
What each type should slow down:
Type 1: criticism. Notice the judgment and ask what is underneath it.
Type 2: their yeses. Every yes is a no to something else.
Type 3: everything. Rest is not optional...
Enneagram Types of Friends & Landman Characters
Which Friends character shares your Enneagram type?
Damon and Kelly walk through all 9 Enneagram types using characters from two beloved shows: the classic Friends and the Taylor Sheridan drama Landman.
Friends gets the full treatment first. Monica the perfectionist 1, Rachel the image-driven 3, Phoebe the unique 4, Ross the wise 5, Chandler the loyal 6-wing-7, and Joey the joyful 7. Then they head to West Texas for Landman: attorney Rebecca Falcone, Angela and Tommy Norris, Monty Miller, Cooper, Ainsley, and engineer Dale Bradley.
Along the way: why most TV characters reflect the unhealthy side of their number...
Enneagram TV Characters, What The Office Reveals About Personality
What if your favorite TV characters can actually help you understand personality better? In this episode, Damon and Kelly have some fun using the Enneagram lens to type characters from The Office, Friends, Parks and Rec, and Landman. Along the way, they compare their own takes with AI’s guesses, debate a few tough calls, and talk about why certain casts feel so complete and memorable.
You’ll hear how different Enneagram patterns show up on screen, why some characters are obvious and others are harder to pin down, and...
Enneagram Nature vs Nurture, How Each Type Develops and Why It Matters
Are you born your Enneagram type, or does life shape it? In this episode, we finally stop trying to pick a side and walk through what both nature and nurture could look like for all nine types.
Damon and Kelly break down how each type might show up from birth, how life experiences reinforce it, and the underlying “strategy” each type develops to feel loved, safe, or secure. If you’ve ever wondered why you are the way you are, or how much control you actually have to change, this conversation will help you connect the dots betwee...
Nature vs Nurture, Are You Born with Your Type or Does It Develop?
Are you born with your Enneagram type, or is your personality shaped by family, environment, and early experiences? In this episode, Damon and Kelly dig into the nature vs nurture question through the lens of the Enneagram, childhood temperament, birth order, attachment, and growth. You’ll hear why this question matters, what psychology and lived experience suggest, and why your story still matters even if parts of your personality were set early.
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Enneagram Growth Path, How Each Type Can Move Toward Health and Wholeness
We’ve talked motivation, fear, and sabotage, and now Damon and Kelly bring the series in for a hopeful landing with real growth steps for every Enneagram type.
You’ll hear what growth looks like for Types 1 through 9, from letting go of perfection, to asking directly for help, to resting without earning it, to staying present in discomfort, speaking up, and taking action. If you have ever wondered what real change actually looks like for your number, this episode gives you clear next steps you can start practicing right away.
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Enneagram Self-Sabotage, When Your Greatest Strength Becomes Your Biggest Problem
Every Enneagram type has a strength that helps them shine, until it gets overused and starts causing damage. In this episode, Damon and Kelly unpack how each type’s greatest gift can quietly turn into a defense mechanism, and how to spot that shift before it hurts your relationships, leadership, or self-awareness.
From Type 1’s integrity becoming criticism, to Type 9’s peace becoming disappearance, this episode walks through all nine types with practical examples and honest reflection. You’ll learn where each type’s strength crosses the line, what that feels like for the people around them, and how to...
Enneagram Core Fears, Type 1–9 (What Each Type Avoids and How It Drives Behavior)
Okay BYN friends, this one’s a little ominous, in a helpful way. Damon and Kelly walk through the core fear underneath each Enneagram type, and how fear becomes a “silent motivator” that can hijack your tone, your choices, and your relationships when you’re not paying attention.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
Why core fears often run the show subconsciously, especially under stressThe core fear for each type (1–9) and what it tends to look like in real lifeA simple awareness prompt to use this week: “Where am I noticing this fear driv...Enneagram Motivation Explained, Core Drivers for Types 1–9 (Approval, Security, Control)
Motivation is the “why” underneath what we do, and it’s one of the easiest Enneagram concepts to misunderstand. In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly break down Enneagram motivation in a clear, practical way, starting with the three triads and then moving into how each type expresses its core driver.
You’ll learn why the Heart Triad (2–4) is driven by approval/validation, the Head Triad (5–7) is driven by security, and the Gut Triad (8–1) is driven by control, agency, and autonomy, plus what each grou...
Enneagram + Lent, What to Give Up or Add for Each Type (1–9)
We start with lint (dryer fires and all), then realize we mean Lent, and we actually go there.
If you’ve never practiced Lent, or you grew up doing it and still aren’t sure what to do with it, this episode makes it simple. Kelly connects Jesus’ three temptations to the Enneagram triads (gut, head, heart), then gives practical Lent invitations for every Enneagram type (1–9), including whether you should give something up or add something in for the next 40 days. Spoiler, 7s get a “Sunday loophole,” 8s have to ta...
Subtype Layers: Type 9
We’re back after an unplanned missed week, and yes, we finally tell the rest of the Jamaica story, including flight chaos, reroutes, and the unwanted souvenir of Influenza A.
Then we wrap up our Subtypes series with Enneagram Type 9 (the Peacemaker) and why “if you ignore it, it will go away” is both relatable and… not really true. We break down the three 9 subtypes and how each one pursues peace, avoids conflict, and sometimes loses themselves in the process.
In this episode:
Jamaica travel recap: storms, rerouting, and why...Subtype Layers: Type 8
This week’s episode isn’t fully evergreen, because it’s recorded right as Kelly is leading a VU service trip to Jamaica and a major winter storm is about to hit the Midwest. That real-time pressure makes it the perfect setup for Enneagram Type 8 subtypes, because you hear “8 energy” in action: decision-making, urgency, leadership, control, and the tension of letting go when the outcome is out of your hands.
Damon and Kelly break down the three Type 8 instinctual variants (self-preservation, social, one-to-one), how each one protects and leads, and how the same strengths can turn into blind spot...
Subtype Layers: Type 7
Enneagram Type 7 subtypes are all about how joy, possibility, and future-focused energy show up through different instincts, and the differences are bigger than most people expect. In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly break down the self-preservation, social, and one-to-one Type 7, including why some Sevens look surprisingly “responsible,” why others fill every open space on the calendar, and why the intense one-to-one Seven can idealize experiences and relationships.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
SP 7 “Keeper of the Castle,” practical optimism, better follow-through, comfort and security as a priorityHow SP 7 can mistype as a 6 (same...Subtype Layers: Type 6
Enneagram Type 6 subtypes are all about safety and security, and they look very different depending on the instinct. In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly break down the self-preservation, social, and one-to-one Type 6, including why Six often gets confused with other types and how motivation clarifies what is really going on.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What drives Type 6 (safety and security), and how loyalty flows from thatSelf-Pres 6 at home, routines, stability, and when “checking” becomes anxiety managementSocial 6 in groups, values, systems, and how they relate to rules and authorityOne-to-One 6 as the intens...Subtype Layers: Type 5 and a New Season!
Season 4 is here, it is 2026, and we start exactly how you would expect: a little off the rails. Damon declares a “set the bar low” resolution, Kelly introduces the better idea (rhythms over resolutions), and together they officially “jump the shark” before re-centering on Enneagram subtype layers. This episode focuses entirely on Type 5, breaking down the self-preservation, social, and one-to-one (sexual) expressions. You will hear how each Five manages energy, boundaries, knowledge, and connection, from the “Defender of the Castle” to the “Professor” to the “Intense Observer.” If you are a Five, love a Five, or work with a Five, this one will...
Subtype Layers: Types 3 and 4
We are officially off the rails. Kelly is campaigning hard for “baby AI” versions of us. After we recover, we get back to what actually matters: subtype layers. In this episode we break down Enneagram Types 3 and 4 through the self-preservation, social, and one-to-one lenses, naming the strengths and watch-outs for each subtype. If you have ever wondered why some Threes feel like tireless workers while others feel like performers, or why some Fours seem quietly self-contained while others feel like intense romantics, this episode will help you spot the patterns with more clarity and less judgment.
Type...
Cake & Subtypes: The 3 Layers of Enneagram 1s and 2s
In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly head into the Enneagram “bakery” and build out the full three-layer cake of subtypes for Types 1 and 2. Using the playful “Is It Cake?” metaphor, they show how each subtype can look completely different on the outside, even when the core number underneath is the same.
Kelly walks through the Self-Preservation, Social, and One-to-One (sexual) subtypes for Type 1 (the Organizer, the Good Citizen, and the Crusader) and Type 2 (the Caretaker, the Host, and the Intimate Helper). Along the way they talk boards and bylaws, life-coach energy, over-helping, intensity in close...
Enneagram Subtypes 401: Self-Preservation (Types 7, 8, 9)
Damon and Kelly wrap up the self preservation section of the subtype series with Types 7, 8, and 9. They break down core motives, how self preservation shows up day to day (gear, routines, safety, control), healthy vs unhealthy patterns, and simple practices to grow without losing your type’s strengths.Â
SP-7
Healthy signs: content with what they have, enthusiastic and inspiring, practical about safety, steady rhythms that stave off boredom.Early drift: chasing newest gadgets for security, getting reckless with money, overfilling time to avoid boredom.SP-8
Healthy signs: direct and...Gratitude Practice for Every Enneagram Type (1–9) (Classic Replay)
This classic Beyond Your Number replay walks through all nine Enneagram types. For each number, we name what we’re grateful for, then give one practical gratitude assignment to help you move from stuck to healthier patterns.
 Highlights:
 • 1: Thank three specific people to quiet the inner critic
 • 2: List three things you’re grateful for about yourself, say them aloud
 • 3: Do one enjoyable thing for its own sake, tell no one
 • 4: Identify three unique gifts and create visible reminders
 • 5: List what’s abundant and self-replenishing in your life
 • 6: Name recent moments of courage where you chose more than...
Enneagram Subtypes 401: Self-Preservation (Types 4, 5, and 6 phobic vs. counterphobic)
Today we continue our Enneagram subtype series and unpack the Self-Preservation instinct for Types 4, 5, and 6. Kelly explains how SP Fours pursue uniqueness through carefully curated “special” things, why SP Fives conserve time, energy, and resources, and how SP Sixes seek safety through alliances and preparation, including the phobic vs counterphobic expressions. Damon pushes for plain-language summaries, mistype clues, and real-life tells. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I a One or a Three… or an SP Four?” this one will help you sort it out.
What you’ll learn:
SP Four: authenticity, endurance, and why they can l...Enneagram Subtypes 401: Self-Preservation (Types 1–3)
Kelly and Damon wade into the deep end of subtypes starting with the self-preservation (SP) instinct for Types 1, 2, and 3. You’ll learn how SP shapes motivation (not just behavior):
SP One: striving for goodness, future-proofing with order and control, and why it can look like a Six.SP Two: playful, guarded, seeking love and protection and how that can mistype as a Seven.SP Three: “be the best, look modest,” working tirelessly for security while hiding the need for admiration.They revisit the “three-layer cake” (dominant, secondary, repressed...
Enneagram Subtypes 401: The 27 Instincts & Your Three-Layer Cake
Kelly and Damon kick off a brand-new series on Enneagram subtypes, the instinctual variants that turn 9 core types into 27 flavors. This is the deep end: self-preservation (sp), social (so), and one-to-one/sexual (sx), plus the “three-layer cake” of dominant, secondary, and repressed instincts.
In this episode:
What sp/so/sx really mean, and how they shape each number’s styleThe “cake” model: why your dominant instinct runs on autopilot (and what to do about the blind spot)How subtypes explain look-alikes (e.g., a social Eight that resembles a Two)What’s next in the series: W...Lost in Translation: What Type 9 Hears When You Say “Be Assertive”
Kelly and Damon unpack how a Type 9 processes “Be assertive” and why it can feel like a threat to calm rather than an invitation to contribute. Together they map common misreads, offer gentler phrases that work, and give Nines a simple reframe to keep their voice in the room.
What’s inside:
How “be assertive” can land as “start conflict” (and what to say instead)Gentle prompts that invite a Nine’s perspective without pressureA self-check for Nines: “Are they attacking my calm or making space for my voice?”Workplace & family scripts you can use todayFollow us on Ap...
Lost in Translation: What a Type 8 hears when you say “Calm down.”
When you tell an Eight “calm down,” they often hear “you’re too much,” “you’re out of control,” or “I’m censoring you.”Â
In this episode Kelly and Damon unpack why protectors (8s) lead with intensity, why that phrase lands as a threat to autonomy, and how to keep connection without dousing their fire.Â
Try better scripts like: “I can tell this matters, can you help me understand what’s driving it?”, “Can we slow the pace so I can track with you?”, and “I’m listening; I just need a second to catch up.”Â
We close with a reframe fo...
Lost in Translation: What a Type 7 Hears When You Say “Be Serious.”
This week we unpack Enneagram Sevens, the joy-bringers who can feel shut down when they hear, “Can you just be serious?” Kelly explains how that lands as “You’re too much,” “Your joy isn’t welcome,” or “We can’t take you seriously,”.
We’ll give you better language that invites focus without killing the vibe:
“I love your energy, can we shift gears for a minute? There’s something important I want to share.”“This might feel heavy, but I’d really value your perspective.”“This conversation may not be fun, but it matters to me.”Plus: a simple reframe for Seve...
