According To Wes

Complaining can feel like truth-telling, but it often acts more like a slow drain on your energy, your focus, and your relationships. I dig into a blunt Stoic line often attributed to Marcus Aurelius: “Don’t be overheard complaining, not even to yourself.” The first half is social discipline, because repeated venting spreads negativity, burdens the listener, and quietly reshapes how people see you. Over time, the “negative” label sticks, and the room starts to feel smaller around your problems instead of bigger around solutions. 

A simple Father’s Day question turns into a full-on relationship reality check: if you’re dating a man for over a year, and he’s a dad, do you show up with a gift, a plan, or nothing at all? We talk through the messy middle where nobody wants to feel “obligated,” but everybody wants to feel appreciated. And we keep it real about what actually solves most of these blowups: having the conversation before feelings get involved.

A team is up big late and still finds a way to lose, and that pain kicks off a surprisingly layered ride. We start with NBA playoff breakdown mode: late-game mistakes, missed free throws, coaching decisions, and the simple but brutal truth that talent doesn’t matter if you can’t manage the clock. We talk pace control, shot selection, and why the “unsexy” choices win series, plus the chaos of modern NBA officiating, flopping narratives, and how inconsistent whistles can tilt momentum.

One minute we’re arguing Spurs vs Knicks like it’s a chess match, the next we’re knee deep in a relationship problem that hits way closer to home. We start with NBA Finals predictions, injury questions, and why some series feel like they’re decided as much by whistles and physicality as by pure talent. If you love basketball talk with opinions, we get into matchups, momentum, and what happens when a young star finally realizes nobody can keep him from the rim. 

Then we pivot to our “unsanctioned advice” lane with a dilemma that lights people...

A woman spots what looks like her old wedding diamond on her ex-husband’s new fiancée and wants to “do the right thing” by telling her. That one scenario opens a much bigger door for us: when does honesty become interference, and when is “closure” really just unfinished feelings? We break down why co-parenting boundaries matter, how petty choices can spill onto the kids, and why sometimes the smartest move is staying out of business that no longer belongs to you.

Indecision does not just slow you down, it drains you. If you have ever stared at a menu for ten minutes or replayed a big life choice until the moment passes, you have felt how analysis paralysis steals time, energy, and joy. I dig into decisiveness as a practical, trainable quality that can make or break a career path, a relationship, or a long-term plan, and I explain why being decisive is not the same thing as being reckless.

Somebody can be “family” and still put your future at risk. We start with a heavy reality check about loss, unexpected illness, and how fast life can flip when you don’t see what someone is carrying. We also talk about what support actually looks like when you can’t solve the problem, only show up with consistency, calls, and real care.

Generosity has been marketed like it’s a dollar amount, but I see it as something harder and more valuable: a state of being. I unpack what generosity really means, including its roots in “noble spirit,” and why the difference between charity and generosity matters. Charity can be a moment. Generosity becomes a way you move through your day, with your time, your attention, your words, and your energy.

A $125 grocery run for “not even a lot” of food turns into a bigger question: when money gets tight, what do couples do next, and who gets a say? We kick things off with cost of living reality, why meat prices make grilling feel like a luxury, and how trying to eat clean can clash with a tighter budget. If you’ve looked at your cart lately and thought, “Wait, that’s it?”, you’ll feel this one.

You can be your own biggest supporter and still act like a stranger gets the final vote on your worth. I sit with a sharp old quote that exposes a modern problem: we’re wired to protect ourselves, yet we keep handing our confidence to titles, salaries, grades, and social media likes. When that happens, self-worth becomes a fragile reflection that changes with every room we walk into and every feed we scroll. 

Your worth isn’t a number on a screen, a title on a business card, or a highlight reel on social media. I’m digging into a deceptively simple Stoic line often attributed to Marcus Aurelius: “A person’s worth is measured by the worth of what he values.” Once you sit with it, it flips the modern definition of success on its head and forces a more honest question: what do you actually cherish, protect, and pursue when life gets loud? 

You know that moment when the family photo matters more than the people in it? We start with jokes about hangovers, sliders, and the vanishing act of mac and cheese, then take a sharp turn into what really counts: presence over pageantry. A parent’s devastating accident becomes the test—who called, who helped, and who pretended nothing happened. We unpack the quiet ways families fail each other and map out how to turn “thoughts and prayers” into calls, rides, childcare, hot plates, and honest check-ins that actually lighten the load.

What if the quietest move is the most powerful one? We explore deference as a deliberate act of strength—less about giving up your voice and more about choosing when to honor the right voice at the right time. Instead of equating respect with weakness, we reframe deference as a fast track to wisdom, a trust-builder on teams and in families, and a subtle engine for influence when everyone else is trying to be the loudest in the room.

What if the most expensive waste of time is the chase itself—the endless loop of clicks, bites, buys, and swipes that never quite deliver what they promise? We pull apart the difference between a quick hit and a lasting glow, showing how the hedonic treadmill and dopamine’s “more” drive keep us busy but unsatisfied. Instead of vague self-help, we map the biology, the economics, and the philosophy—then bring it down to earth with raw stories about dating for the high, friendships that only exist at the party, and the quiet power of building things that outlast a mood.

A snow day sets the stage for a bigger story about work, home, and respect. We start with the real playbook for winter survival—shovel before sleet, salt smart, and only clear what you need to drive out. That everyday strategy opens into a sharper question: when one partner handles the house and the other clocks in, what does fairness actually look like? We share the unfiltered truth about telework theater, “emergency essential” policies, and why green dots don’t equal real effort.

First, we dismantle the illusion of “later.” Procrastination thrives on the myth of endless tomorrows, so we show how to ground yourself in the present with small, meaningful actions that actually move your life. Then we turn to mortality as a filter, not a fear trigger. When you accept that time is finite, petty arguments, chasing approval, and shallow distractions lose their grip. You start to ask better questions about how you spend an irreplaceable day and where courage beats comfort.

A calmer day often starts before the day starts. We take Marcus Aurelius’ blunt morning mantra—expect interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill will, and selfishness—and turn it into a practical routine that lowers anger, strengthens boundaries, and grows compassion. Instead of waiting to be blindsided by messy human behavior, we walk through how to anticipate it, name it on contact, and choose a response that protects your peace without slipping into cynicism.

A surprise BOGO crab haul sets the table for one of our most honest money conversations yet. We go from twenty shells and a freezer full of claws to the quiet math of family finances—how a house down payment empties savings, how “you got it” becomes a habit, and why clear rules save relationships. Then we hit the spark: a mom uses life insurance to wipe out roughly $60K of her daughter’s student loans after pushing her into college too soon. The son, debt-free but degree-free, wants a matching payout. Fairness or favoritism?

A single quote from Marcus Aurelius can reset how you see your day, your people, and your purpose. We unpack “be your own master” by rotating through four practical lenses—person, human being, citizen, and mortal creature—and show how each one shifts the choices you make under pressure.

A simple question with a heavy cost: if you loan your partner $10,000 for a car, do you expect it back? 

Ever wake up to a wave of pressure before your feet hit the floor? We offer a Stoic counter move: start the day by naming four privileges—being alive, to think, to enjoy, to love—and watch how anxiety softens while purpose sharpens

What if the pain you’re avoiding is the very thing that could set you free? We take a hard look at a Stoic claim—“the truth never harmed anyone; what harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance”—and test it against real life. From medical diagnoses and failed business bets to the slow leak of unspoken resentment in relationships, we explore why the sting of truth is acute but corrective, while the comfort of denial quietly compounds into long-term damage.

A wise man once said, "You only really need what you need - all the other stuff is stuff you want." This deceptively simple wisdom sets the stage for our most candid conversation yet about money, marriage, and the uncomfortable truths we rarely discuss.

What if the most powerful tool for transforming your life has been misunderstood all along? Optimism—not the superficial, smile-through-everything kind—but the gritty, realistic force that acknowledges difficulties while refusing to be defined by them.

Have you ever noticed how much time we spend talking about what it means to be good rather than actually being good? This paradox sits at the heart of today's episode, where we dive deep into Marcus Aurelius' timeless challenge: "Waste no time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."

Have you ever been compared to someone else in your relationship? That sinking feeling when your partner suggests you should be "more like" someone from their past is something many of us have experienced—and it rarely ends well.

Ever wondered why some people seem to navigate life's challenges with grace while others constantly bounce from one crisis to another? The difference might be a virtue we rarely discuss in modern times: prudence.

This episode explores how the ancient virtue of prudence—acting with care and thought for the future—creates a foundation for exceptional quality of life. While our culture celebrates instant gratification and quick fixes, prudent living offers something deeper: true freedom from constant worry and the ability to build a life aligned with your highest values.

From financial stability to physical heal...

What lies behind the walls we build around our hearts? Why do we sometimes push away the very connection we crave most deeply? This exploration of emotional barriers goes straight to the heart of a profound paradox in human relationships, revealing the silent tests we create for others.

The walls we build aren't always meant to keep people out—sometimes they're secret pleas to see who cares enough to break them down. These protective barriers manifest in various ways: emotional distance, testing boundaries, critical behavior, and self-sabotage. The reasons behind them run deep: fear of vulnerability (particularly ch...

Relationships require proper acknowledgment and clear boundaries, whether in marriages, parent-child relationships, or financial arrangements.

• The importance of making your partner feel valued, especially when competing with other priorities
• How to navigate adult children living at home, including establishing financial responsibilities 
• Setting boundaries and clear expectations helps prepare young adults for independence
• Communication challenges when expressing importance and urgency to your partner
• Relationship dynamics where one partner feels consistently undervalued
• Handling joint responsibilities equitably without taking advantage of your partner's willingness to help
• The necessity of following through on commitments, especially for family even...

We introduce the concept of "passive simping" - knowingly acting like a simp to get what you want - and discuss how this strategy plays out in everything from casual dating to marriage.

We explore the profound meaning behind the quote "No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training; it is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable." This ancient wisdom challenges us to reconsider our relationship with physical wellness as more than optional—it's a fundamental responsibility we have to ourselves.

Are you truly exploring the beauty and strength that lies within you? Move beyond amateur status and embrace the incredible capabilities of your embodied self.

We explore what our 25-year-old selves would think about our current career paths and discuss how traditional career advice has failed our generation.

We encourage you to share your own career journey with us on social media and let us know what advice you'd give your younger self.

Ancient wisdom reminds us not to let future anxieties rob us of present peace. Our capacity for reason and problem-solving remains constant, providing the tools we need to face whatever challenges may come.

We dive deep into the uncomfortable realities of dating, relationships, and personal hygiene that nobody wants to talk about but everyone needs to hear. From mortifying intimate encounters to financial decisions that make or break relationships, this episode doesn't hold back on the messy truths of adulthood.

• Dating dynamics in your 30s and the evolution of relationship labels
• Home renovation horror stories when trying to save money with the wrong contractor
• Using home equity lines of credit for kitchen renovations against better judgment
• The shocking story of a hygiene disaster during an intimate moment
• Pe...

We explore the complex balance between personal autonomy and partnership in marriage, examining how control, boundaries, and mutual respect shape our daily happiness.

• Keeping certain purchases private from your spouse can sometimes maintain peace
• Late-night conversations when you're tired often lead to saying things you'll regret
• The concept of "provider" means different things in different relationships
• Step-parenting creates unique challenges when authority is undermined
• Men and women may approach unconditional love differently
• Setting boundaries with family members, including handling unexpected visits
• Finding happiness requires accepting which aspects of life you can and cannot con...

Tim Allen's transformation from cocaine dealer to Hollywood star reveals stark privilege in the justice system. His cooperation with authorities after being caught with 650 grams of cocaine led to multiple convictions while allowing him to avoid a life sentence and build a successful entertainment career.

• Tim Allen faced life imprisonment for cocaine trafficking before becoming a TV star
• The cocaine trade was once considered "a gentleman's game" with established codes
• Rising inflation and utility costs are creating financial pressure on households
• Open relationships often create imbalance and favor one partner over another
• The show "Medu...

Wes and DeLaw tackle the financial pressures of modern life, from the shocking $80 price tag for pay-per-view boxing matches to the complex question of whether one spouse should pay for another's $73,000 student loan debt.

• Boxing pay-per-view events now cost $80 regardless of Amazon Prime membership status
• The concept of "stressed man strength" versus the traditional idea of "old man strength" 
• Heated debate about whether pre-existing student debt becomes shared responsibility in marriage
• Exploration of the viral "mediocrity" conversation about career standards and dating preferences
• Personal grocery shopping experiences revealing inflation's impact—nearly $300 spent in one day
•...

We venture into the dynamics of charm and communication within lasting relationships. With humor and honesty, we reflect on what it means to maintain attraction and strengthen bonds in marriage. 

• Examining the evolution of charm in relationships 
• Reflecting on past experiences and learning from team dynamics 
• Conversations on job security, downsizing, and its emotional impact 
• The significance of honest communication in partnerships 
• Understanding desire and attraction in long-term commitments 
• Analyzing a listener's relationship dilemma about lines of comfort 
• Drawing humor and insight from playful exchanges on marriage 

Balancing humor and honesty, this episode navigates the complexities of relationships and everyday challenges couples face. From a Valentine's Day spending spree to the tension surrounding gym friendships, discussions reveal insecurities, trust, and the journey of maintaining love amidst chaos.

• Valentine’s Day spending impacting relationships 
• Light-hearted conversations about raising chickens 
• Thoughts on flirty gym friendships and jealousy 
• Navigating trust and loyalty in marriage 

My love language is expensive car parts but I'll settle for a new video game and some good food