CORN DOWN Prank Calls

This episode runs on the same kind of chaotic mall-parking-lot energy as the others. There’s a cat hanging around outside, dad’s trying to go viral, and opting to believe bushes may be persons. There are private-investigator vibes, weird mouth problems, floating-in-water food, and a lot of DIYing that feels like someone is making up rules as they go. Teeth keep disappearing, multiplying, or getting counted, and the Fry Guy hasn’t been heard from in a while. Overall, it’s people trying to manage totally normal situations while slipping into strange little confirmed governmental conspiracies.

This sho...

On this CORNDOWN we start with arguing about whether we need emergency blankets or if regular ones work. I try to shave a few seconds off before we get weird with first aid kits, and whuppy gets in trouble for taking too long. A raccoon in a bag shows up, things get spooky and creepy, and I keep getting messed with on the phone even though I’m dry heaving. I aso get police statements for no real reason, catalyst and I try to get our ears fixed, and buccshot keeps circling back to peanuts. By the end I’m st...

On this CORNDOWN I run into disabled cars over and over, each one worse than the last, while whuppy tries to impose speed limits and ends up talking about Halloween bones. The whole thing drifts into being treated like vampires, spiders, goblins, etc. before we get stuck counting really high room numbers. Somewhere in there, arms get broken and my finger got ripped off at the drive-thru. wastedmemory brings chili into it, of course, and Tifff and fuzzy make things worse with spider eggs and potatoes. It closes out with some typical ghosts in the chili, a pepperoni mistake...

This CORNDOWN starts with me trying to report some accomplices to unwilling management, and whuppy uncovers a brown leather jacket man incident. Next I take a data dump or two and things get weird fast with loose files, Walmart bags, and papers being served back and forth like it’s a courtroom. There’s far too much milk, and far too few crackheads, with buccshot puffing away in the 420 zone while I look for a way out (so I can find a way back in). Catalyst shows up with freezer food and bedbug problems, whuppy gets a drive-thru dog invo...

This CORNDOWN starts with people trying to smoke in my glasses. Whuppy brings soup issues into the mix, such as who’s eating it, who’s spilling it, and which employees are making a mess of my glasses with it. Everything gets foggy, soup related and otherwise, and before long we’re talking about early refills, and prescriptions onions. wastedmemory and I get wrapped up in more prescription issues and debating if Wendy’s should make you a little sick, while Tifff experiments with recreational potatoes. By the end, shirts get stained by pants, food gets found, we get sick aga...

On this CORNDOWN I keep getting stuck at a Wendy’s with no drive-thru and trying to prove I’m certified for something while also deleting my Facebook over and over because people keep saying they saw someone who looks just like me. Paper becomes an issue as I try to use it as plates, then wastedmemory shows up and we get into receipts and documents to get a sandwich across state lines or avoid a taser. Whuppy runs into random guys and Buckshot deals with a rude delivery driver.Then I learn how to flush in the hotel, it’s...

This CORNDOWN starts with me questioning the flavor of a bag while whuppy keeps being normal in every way he can think of. Things get sexual with sour cream on my pants, and slide quickly into soaked chicken, plumbers in the bathroom, and a lot of broken or confused sandwiches trying to figure out what they actually want. There’s a whole back and forth about fries being the same as sandwiches, extra versus more, and even hotdog buns getting dragged into it. Later, I’m accusing people of working at Walmart, I get some help carrying a chair, and...

This CORNDOWN starts an inch big before sandwich problems that get taped, but user engagement is too low to continue operations. Due to the low engagement I get involved with a new AI image board, while buccshot finds an important screw and I find branded batteries, which is a great way to get a reaction. For clicks and views.Things get extra weird after that. Whuppy has a twenty minute call where the woman says nothing but who, what, when, where, why, and sometimes how. Its excessive. Later, in what’s becoming a regular segment, Cloutmaster weighs in on wh...

This CORNDOWN keeps circling back to keys, losing them, someone else finding them, cops and even dogs getting involved, and wastedmemory chasing them down in his own ways. The magic rabbit stuff runs right alongside it, with them appearing, disappearing, and even coming out of hats thanks to whuppy. We bounce into odd jobs and hotel problems, from sieves and TV people to being forced to apply for jobs we don’t want, all while wastedmemory endures Mario music in the background. The rest of the crew drops in too: snappy bakes with toilet keys and cardboard food, Lux wi...

This CORNDOWN kinda sucks. I start off losing my phone, wallet, keys, and even the car. Shopping carts keep getting tangled, sucking in keys, or smashing into things, with wastedmemory stepping in to make it even worse by trying to disengage buggies and change the batteries before they get sucked into my car. Also I am wearing a wire for reasons I can’t discuss, then the food calls start with sneezing on burgers, food that sound like crickets near wooded areas at dusk, plus my chili lid gets stuck. Whuppy shows up with bread that could bend light, wh...

This CORNDOWN kicks off with someone messing around across the street while wastedmemory gets caught up in some kind of strange sensation, and before long we’re both tangled in all kinds of burger problems. From long ones to corrupt fry cooks to a full-on burger school interaction. Things shift when I start pushing buttons about thermostats and age limits and when life begins at fast food spots, with wastedmemory bribing his way through and even bringing towels to keep things going. Of course there’s hotel calls, with me losing track of room numbers, bad access codes, busted air...

On this CORNDOWN I get started talking about the hassle of maintaining one’s own hotel rooms and how much money it seems to pull right out of my own pocket, with wastedmemory chiming in about his own mix-ups at a couple of different and/or same places. We drift into some strange normal sounding calls, where I keep getting calls from the nineties and he jumps ahead into Y2K and beyond. A lot of the middle turns into an obsession with me trying to figure out who’s wearing a hat, whuppy weighing in with his own Jim...

This one is a slow start with failed boat houseguest problems, there’s talk of medical violence, and appreciation comes across in uncomfortable ways. Eventually we get going when food turns up stuffed in shoes, pockets, even wallets. There’s a slight obsession with stoves and bricks cooking eggs. Then Denny’s gets some classic bribes, we run into fake versions of their food, and wasted gets sick from found leftovers. Whuppy gets his first broken leg, we uncover ghostly kitchens, goat salmon, and haunted burritos. It’s good.

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In this episode luggage bags get grabbed, cars seized, hotel rooms snatched up, even food is being treated like it doesn’t belong to you. There are calls about future reservations, with people talking, conversating, chatting and confusing the front desk. Insurance rates get bumped, a smoke alarm goes off, and someone promises me this idea of guaranteed internet fame. Other normal things like cat ointment, copper wire, and carbon-fiber food get discussed normally. Burgers get tossed and refunded, because you have to, and I end up “married” by mistake. Of course, even the government shows up to claim a room...

This episode has food mistakes like fingernails ripped out, hair eaten, roofing nails swallowed, even takeout containers consumed. Broken tools and food that won’t heat or get wet bleed into static bananas and political Tesla disputes. A couple floors get stepped on. Identity theft spreads through hotels and mirrors, while accounts close, tests fail, and glass exits cut things short. Pit Pigs (regular and electric) get brought with us, giving the show an extended end.

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This CORNDOWN kicks off with basic skills missing. I can’t read, wasted can’t ride a bike, and it spirals into family silence and awkward callback requests. People lurk by windows, sometimes sipping coffee, sometimes plotting, while magnetic food keeps reappearing. There’s car insurance drama at a Denny’s, elevator bites, and windows breaking in normal revenge circumstances. Dumpster hiding gives way to surreal toilet power, more aggressive elevators, and a deep unease about Jeeps, complete with broken protocols and scary sightings. Corporate policies clash with human quirks, sons are identified (or not), hair gets pulled, and someone...

This one feels like a crime scene slowly unraveling in a Denny’s. It starts with evidence bags piling up, with Fabian schemes in the background, and suspicious amounts of high numbers of teeth-related reports coming in. All I know is, Denny’s is at the heart of it all. Soups and slams getting mixed or unmixed, even zodiac signs somehow coming into play. Police trespass becomes a recurring issue, hinting at either botched investigations or an ongoing standoff between the police and Denny’s patrons. Plates and glasses break (doesn’t matter who’s fault), foreign objects turn up, and me...

This set starts with sandwiches getting painted yellow. It moves into conflict inside the CD players, which probably shouldn’t cause that much tension unless the employee is flirting. Then sandwiches take over. There’s a lot of confusion: who’s touching them, whose sandwich it even is, whether they’re being shared, stolen, burned, or just sat on. Fries and soda catch fire too. The vibe is paranoia and possibly arson. Squirrels show up with violent intent, with unexpected closures, premonitions, and maybe even a murder tally. Naked smoking, strange room guests, and fake relationships round things out in a way...

This CORNDOWN spins out of control fast, starting with employees being used,possibly emotionally or logistically. That spirals into apple smoking, which feels both literal and like a stand-in for some deeper, metaphorical meaning. But it’s just an apple. There’s tension with police, as usual, something about raspberries being missing, and a whole subplot around someone named Jessica and her Arby’s. Chairs are being moved like they’re forbidden. As things crack further, you get dogs with rabies, chain-based boiler punishments, electrical tape fixes, and meat that might not be okay to eat. Someone’s offering help, but...

This CORNDOWN follows a steady escalation of penny-based activity. Tossing, spreading, dropping them in lobbies, even turning them into some kind of mortar or protest or something. There’s also a lot of poor employee driving, repeated and increasingly dramatic, including crashes or wild maneuvering. Meanwhile, there’s gum in my son’s fries, sketchy food combos, and someone handing out slips of paper like they’re evidence. Then ButtEye tries for a fake romantic setup, and there’s a few unusual attempts at entry through windows. By the end, it all folds into pet adoption talk, vape complaints, elevator c...

A strangely intimate look at breakfast and violence—sometimes at the same time. We start with a couple rounds of Ice Cream b/w Violence, bounce through some hotel knob evaluations and best room competitions, and land in a series of escalating calls for just breakfast that spiral into close-quarters smoking and theoretical violence. Blankets and towels get mixed up with paper-based aggression, and wuppy demands breakfast with increasing urgency. Repeated shocks—from outlets and ice cream alike—lead into the mysterious saga of hickeys which somehow gets several calls. Things wrap up with hotel canaries, emotional manipulation, and the al...

This one drifts from smoky basements to crumbling online identities. We kick things off with turkey bacon, home smokers, and a lot of weird cigarette gas complaints—some of which seem to involve store employees just absolutely refusing to acknowledge reality. wastedmemory digs into forgotten MySpace alternatives while snappy bakes insists on the existence of “vanilla mothballs.” We spiral into mothball hell before resurfacing for stories about white circles, questionable plumbing, and whatever ends up being the reason for us being there. ButtEye shows up with some bathroom thoughts, wuppy runs into dirty dish problems, and there’s a brief fl...

This episode flies all over the place—literally. It opens with sleep tracking and mileage disputes, then dives into an ongoing saga about birds: healthy ones, loose ones, and whether or not they’re part of some larger plan. I take the lead on the bird logistics, while wastedmemory ends up dealing with weird “Do Not Disturb” violations, and there’s an uncomfortable amount of grapefruit talk. Gunnerman Bill pitches a dog to a restaurant, wuppy brings in a cremated pet, and ButtEye and bhenchodester do a cultural deep-dive that probably didn’t need to happen. Somewhere in the middle, ther...

On this one, wuppy fills in for wastedmemory and really leans into some strange hospital logic and bee management techniques. I try to keep things on track with some fast food arguments and a few misunderstandings about who’s dead and what it costs. The whole show kind of spirals around leeches, bacteria, and whether or not it’s ok to be a hospital. ButtEye checks in with some breakroom vibes, bhenchodester keeps ordering the wrong size fries, and we all end up back at the hospital Arby’s trying to get a DNR form swapped out without making it wei...

This episode of CORNDOWN has a lot of energy—starting head first and sliding straight into the recurring saga of accidental fatherhood and surprise bathroom births. Wastedmemory helps drive some extremely uncomfortable conversations, especially around sex, smell, and I do some religion accomodations. We argue a lot about whether you’re supposed to load tip up front, and things just kind of unravel from there: pens get borrowed, products get injuries, someone ends up naked in a car, and there’s confusion about cultural Asian sensitivity at nearly every turn. ButtEye shows up with some Sweedish fish, wuppy repeatedly crosse...

This one’s got no wastedmemory but a lot of shampoo—like, a suspicious number of cartons—and way too many people hiding in bushes or punching walls for it to be normal. I try to deal with someone in the bushes around the property, repeatedly damaging the room, and a very specific Arby’s situation. ButtEye gets sent straight to jail, snappy bakes gets into werewolves again, and wuppy deals with some kind of animal in a hotel room. There’s a broken nozzle, a vampire thing, some ironing issues, and a helicopter that may or may not have lande...

This episode of CORNDOWN starts with some hotel stress—trying not to get attacked, yelling in the lobby, and a room that apparently needs preheating before use. Wastedmemory handles some strange guest behavior and a little confused rat, and I get into a whole thing about whether or not you can insure a hotel room. There’s a reoccurring towel issue that somehow spreads across multiple hotels, and we try to pin down how orange slices fit into any of it. Later, there’s talk of hotel adoption, a guy asking to be put on a list for no clear...

This time on CORNDOWN I spend too long trying to sort out why my room key from six weeks ago won’t work, while wastedmemory gets into some turtle talk that might involve a stick. There’s confusion about sisters, someone says the hotel is in my bloodstream, and I try to make sense of whether it was consumed or not. Things get weirdly quiet, then too loud, and we argue about a burger that doesn’t sit right. Wuppy brings in some ancient ants and I sugest a timeline for burger freshness, and Kielbasa debuts in with some kind o...

This CORNDOWN starts out soaked in a hotel rain complaint that keeps circling back no matter what I try—wastedmemory jumps in to help, but it only spirals into confusion and strange accusations. There’s something going on with a number three situation that neither of us can explain, and by the time it hits number four, I’m already regretting bringing it up. A junior rat may or may not be involved. I get stuck in a conversation about shoes and rides, and later I try (and fail) to break up for the break. Things unravel into toilet discon...

On this CORNDOWN, I find myself caught in a cycle of discovering dead batteries. Wastedmemory helps escalate things by throwing in some battery ingestion and a genie lamp incident that doesn’t go well. There’s a lot of goop—chili, burger, and something from a grocery store. Calls drift into weird food behavior at fast food places, including employees eating on the job and bhen’s very normal chicken sandwiches. Wuppy and snappy bakes join me for some bathroom showing moments, and Lux gets involved in something best described as tongue-based. I really tried to hold it together, but thin...

This CORNDOWN gets tangled in airport chaos and sticky situations, starting with me trying to explain a phone-based parking plan and somehow ending up in trouble over peanut butter. Wastedmemory jumps in repeatedly to back me up as the peanut butter gets scrutinized by police, government, and eventually even mail handlers. I get accused of solicitation and end up in some kind of peanut-related legal trouble. Things spiral into hotel calls where the rooms are unbearable and everyone’s getting told to prepare for a terrible stink, even dragging in Hootis and snappy bakes. There’s also some confusion over...

This CORNDOWN has me going to the hotel front desk with a new policy about strangulation that no one seems to want to enforce, even after I make a sign. Wastedmemory jumps in a bunch to help with a back-and-forth post it passing system between guests and employees. Bathroom candy happens a couple times, there’s talk of a dislocated room and some scissor lift confusion. Snappy and Hootis get into an ongoing terrible Uber mess, and wastedmemory closes things out with something about a murder that no one likes.

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This batch is wild—gasoline barcodes, employee nipping, and taking entire rooms home. wastedmemory is deep in gasoline-related schemes, while bhenchodester tackles Dr Pepper malfunctions and pasta distribution. There’s also some serious concerns about staff harassment, secret codes, and questionable Uber usage. And of course, we’ve got Chickenmen and whatever “Good Like John” means. Definitely a chaotic energy in this set.

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This one’s got a lot going on—credit card testing, mouth animals, and some serious sandwich violations. wastedmemory is deep in the mix with found credit cards, inside-out sandwiches, and verifying the spiciness of things. Meanwhile, snappy bakes investigates trash sandwiches, and ButtEye gets into fire damage and reagents. There’s also medicine dogs, ingrown toenails, and something big going down. Definitely a lot to unpack here.

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This one’s got a strong trim theme—hotel trim, missing trim, vertical trim, even a trim train. Then wastedmemory gets deep into burger trims and backwards sandwiches, while incident number sandwiches keep stacking up. There’s some struggle with the cost of paper products (or the lack of them), alcohol odors, and loose mole beeps. Things get crunchy with onions and whole stores, and then it all spirals into child feces, little mummies, and ButtEye brings a friendly fade. Sounds about right.

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This CORNDOWN is all over the place—dropped pepperoni, scattered candies, and way too many questions about toilet paper and diarrhea stats. Lobby motion sickness keeps coming up, and we get weird about magnesium. Snappy Bakes brings hotel twerking into the mix, and whuppy has some elevator issues. Meanwhile, there’s some confusion over keys under mats, lifting things, and unexpected furniture fees. Just another real normal one.

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This CORNDOWN dives into all kinds of smells—squirrel, roommate, and an alarming amount of sponge-sniffing… and eating. Ted makes an unexpected alive appearance, and wastedmemory gets fixated on the sound of hangnails. Bathroom money is a recurring problem, as is road rage, which somehow turns into a cleaning process. Hootis deals with an apology situation, and ButtEye gets involved with some spilled spiders before whuppy escalates things further by introducing cobras and releasing scorpions. It’s a mess, but we document the process.

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This episode of CORNDOWN gets off to a strong start with some light intimidation before wastedmemory hands out questionable puke-related permissions. There’s an incident with raccoons, some employee sanitation concerns, and a deep dive into the ethics of promoting bad habits at work. A cat-related head injury adds to the chaos, and Hootis tries to navigate some medieval-sounding parking issues. Meanwhile, wastedmemory has a run-in with a secret police situation, and whuppy complicates things with elevator-based mistakes. Somewhere in all this, a robot gets involved, but it’s unclear if it actually helps.

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This episode of CORNDOWN kicks off with some loose parts—literally—before wastedmemory and I try to make sense of questionable food practices, including the unexpected use of glue. There’s a lot of discussion about chicken, from giving it away to keeping track of it in a highly unnecessary log. wastedmemory takes a moment to address the chat, and ButtEye stirs things up with a hidden motorcycle situation. Snappy bakes gets involved in a parking lot spectacle, while Hootis deals with a guy who seems a little too invested in parking. Things wrap up with an attempt to balanc...

This episode of CORNDOWN starts with a lot of checking in—maybe too much—as wastedmemory and I make sure everyone’s doing alright, whether they like it or not. There’s confusion over who actually owns food once it changes hands, and wastedmemory gets wrapped up in a situation involving an alarming number of managers. I attempt to track customers in increasingly questionable ways, while snappy bakes and I compare notes on just how many people have passed through. Meanwhile, Lux deals with some crumbling and a soda spill situation that refuses to end. Stolen cleaning supplies cause tensions...