The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast

The holidays can be especially difficult after betrayal, bringing unexpected grief, emotional triggers, and pressure to pretend everything is okay. Family gatherings, traditions, and even vacations can feel overwhelming when trust has been broken.

In this episode, Kris Rocha and Jenn Howie welcome back Dan Drake to discuss how to navigate holidays and other meaningful occasions after betrayal. Together, they explore managing expectations, making room for grief and joy, and creating emotional safety during challenging seasons.

About Our Guest

Dan Drake is a licensed therapist, author, and founder of Banyan Therapy Group. With...

When a marriage ends, the loss extends far beyond the relationship itself. Dreams, identity, friendships, family traditions, and the future you imagined can suddenly feel uncertain. For women navigating divorce after betrayal, the grief can be overwhelming, especially when faith, family, and community are deeply intertwined. But what if the end of a marriage doesn't have to mean the end of a meaningful, joy-filled life?

In this episode, we welcome Brandi Wilson, author of Better Than Okay: Finding Hope and Healing After Your Marriage Ends. After the unexpected end of her 20-year marriage to a megachurch pastor...

Betrayal shakes us to our core. It doesn't just damage trust in a relationship ... it can leave us questioning who we are, what we believe, and whether we'll ever feel like ourselves again.

In this special episode of the Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast, Kris Rocha shares a conversation from the Choose Connection Summit, hosted by Dr. Jake Porter. Interviewed by Kathy Reynolds, Kris explores one of the most meaningful aspects of betrayal recovery: rediscovering our God-given identity.

When betrayal becomes part of our story, it's easy to allow the pain, confusion, and trauma to define...

What if, instead of fighting the parts of ourselves we wish would go away, we learned to move toward them with curiosity and compassion? In this episode, we welcome Jenna Riemersma back to the podcast to explore a simpler, practical approach to Internal Family Systems (IFS) through her new book, Move Toward: A Simplified IFS Therapy Tool to Welcome All Parts of You. Jenna shares how this accessible framework can help us understand what is happening inside of us during moments of activation, respond to ourselves with less shame, and move toward greater healing and connection.

Jenna...

The Bible teaches us that our struggles often involve more than what we can see on the surface. In this conversation, we explore the biblical foundations of spiritual warfare through Ephesians 6, discussing how truth, discernment, and the armor of God equip believers to face life's challenges with wisdom and confidence. Whether you're navigating betrayal, addiction, fear, or spiritual discouragement, this episode offers practical, Scripture-based encouragement for standing firm in your faith.

Dr. Laura Sanger is a Christian author, speaker, and researcher who specializes in biblical worldview, spiritual warfare, and the unseen realm. With a background in education...

When betrayal first comes to light, it can feel as though the ground has disappeared beneath your feet. In this conversation, Lisa Archinal offers compassionate guidance on navigating those overwhelming first days, reminding listeners that while healing won't happen overnight, there are practical steps to help restore stability, hope, and direction.

Drawing from both her personal journey and her book, Betrayal Trauma: Survival Guide for the First 90 Days, Lisa shares wisdom for surviving the initial shock of betrayal, establishing healthy boundaries, caring for your emotional well-being, and finding the courage to take the next right step. Whether...

In this conversation, Jill Pool helps us put words to the often-misunderstood experience of emotional betrayal, offering clarity, validation, and hope to those who have questioned whether their pain is "real enough."

Drawing from both her personal journey and professional work, Jill introduces practical definitions that distinguish emotional displacement, emotional neglect, and emotional affairs. We also explore why emotional betrayal can cause profound trauma, how emerging technologies like AI companions are reshaping conversations about fidelity, and how biblical truth helps betrayed partners move from confusion to clarity and healing.

Key Takeaways from the Episode:

Hope and healing take center stage in this conversation with Clinton and Nikki Mitchell as they share their story of betrayal, disclosure, and the redemptive work God has done in their marriage. After more than 31 years together and decades in ministry, what appeared stable on the outside was hiding deep pain and long-held secrets. Their willingness to share openly offers hope to couples walking through the devastation of betrayal and the long road of restoration.

Drawing from their personal journey and their book, Glory From the Ashes: How a YES to God’s Invitation Can Transform Your Ma...

In this deeply insightful episode, we are joined by Darrell Brazell, pastor of New Hope Fellowship and Director of New Hope Recovery Ministries, for an important conversation around Dr. Omar Minwalla’s concept of The Secret Sexual Basement. Together, we explore how hidden sexual behaviors, deception, and compartmentalized thinking create profound relational harm and contribute to betrayal trauma. Darrell brings decades of experience working with men, couples, and recovery communities, helping us better understand what is happening beneath the surface and what true healing requires.

This conversation offers clarity for both betrayed partners and those seeking recovery by...

In this episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast, we sit down with author, speaker, and betrayal-recovery coach Vicki Tiede to discuss the complex and often isolating experience of discovering a spouse’s same-sex attraction. With both professional insight and compassion, Vicki brings clarity to a topic that is frequently misunderstood and emotionally overwhelming for many women.

We explore how this type of discovery can feel both similar to and distinct from other forms of sexual betrayal. Vicki provides guidance on separating attraction from identity and behavior, identifying safe and aligned professional support, and establishing boundaries that pr...

Healing after betrayal is hard enough—but what happens when you’re doing the work alone? In this honest and hope-filled conversation, we sit down with Lyschel Burket, founder of Hope Redefined Ministries, to explore the realities of one-sided healing.

Lyschel brings deep compassion, biblical truth, and hard-earned wisdom to a topic many women quietly carry. Together, we unpack why one-sided healing is so common in betrayal recovery, how to stay grounded when your partner isn’t doing their work, and how women can release responsibility that was never theirs to carry—without losing hope, faith, or themselv...

Healing after betrayal is not about rushing forward or "getting over it”—it’s about courageously reclaiming yourself, one brave step at a time. In this episode, we welcome back licensed professional counselor, coach, and author Tammy Gustafson for a powerful conversation about what it truly means to move from brokenness to bravery after intimate betrayal.

Tammy shares insights from her brand-new book, Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal. Drawing on years of clinical experience, extensive survey research, and the many voices of betrayed women she's worked with over the past 15 years, Tammy...

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood and emotionally loaded concepts in betrayal recovery. In this episode, Kris sits down with Andrew Arthur, founder of Genesis Christian Mediation, to unpack what forgiveness really means—and what it does not mean—after deep relational betrayal.

Together, they explore how forgiveness fits into the healing journey without minimizing pain, bypassing grief, or forcing reconciliation. This conversation brings clarity, biblical grounding, and emotional safety to a topic that is often weaponized or rushed, helping betrayed spouses understand how forgiveness can become a step toward freedom rather than another burden to carr...

Divorce after betrayal trauma can feel confusing, isolating, and even more painful than staying. In this conversation, Rae Emmerson from Healing Talks Back joins the podcast to explore why healing after a terminally wounded relationship is uniquely complex—and why the end of a relationship does not automatically bring relief.

Rae helps listeners understand the emotional, relational, and identity-level challenges faced by partners whose relationships do not survive betrayal. With clarity and validation, she gives language to the grief, marginalization, and “in-between” space many survivors experience after separation or divorce—while also offering hope for healing, meaning, and forw...

Rebuilding safety and intimacy after betrayal begins with understanding how our attachment styles shape the way we connect—and disconnect—with others. In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Jake Porter, Founder and President of Daring Ventures, returns to the podcast to unpack how attachment wounds form, why they matter in recovery, and how couples can move from fear and self-protection toward trust and closeness.

Drawing from his Couple-Centered Recovery® model, Dr. Porter helps us see that attachment isn’t just psychology—it’s also spiritual and neurological. Healing happens when we integrate brain science, faith, and relational repair. Whether you...

Over 36 years ago, Kris sat in the classroom of her Bible college professor, Paul Marc Goulet, learning lessons that would profoundly shape her understanding of God, cognitive function, and the power of the stories we tell ourselves. Decades later, their paths cross again for a deeply meaningful conversation about how our God concepts—what we believe about who God is—shape every part of our faith, healing, and daily life.

A pastor, author, counselor, and global leader, Paul draws from his extensive background in psychology and theology to unpack the ways distorted beliefs about God can keep us t...

Stacey Smith, a trusted voice at Daring Ventures, returns to the Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast to unpack the often-hidden topic of spiritual abuse. With deep wisdom and a passion for justice, Stacey helps individuals heal from trauma, reclaim their identity, and walk in the truth of who God created them to be.

In this conversation, Stacey joins Kris and Jenn to explore how spiritual abuse can take root within faith communities—often cloaked in tradition or twisted theology—and how women can move from confusion and pain toward clarity, courage, and freedom. She shares how recognizing God’s true...

Gigi Hopkins, Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and Director of Wives Care at Be Broken Ministries, joins us for a candid conversation about how healing from betrayal can produce unexpected gifts. With over 24 years of ministry experience and a passion for walking alongside women in the midst of betrayal trauma, Gigi offers both professional insight and deep personal compassion. She shares her “Gifts of Betrayal” list, encouraging us to see how God can transform pain into growth, maturity, and stronger relationships.

From growing in faith to developing healthier boundaries, Gigi helps us recognize the ways God uses even the...

In this special episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jake Porter, renowned relational trauma expert, coach, and founder of Daring Ventures. Known for his groundbreaking work helping individuals and couples heal from betrayal and rebuild trust, Jake brings deep insight and compassion to the recovery journey.

Together, we explore the transformative power of integrity-centered healing and learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Jake shares his personal experience participating in a program called Men and Women of Discomfort, and how its lessons have shaped his understanding of growth, resilience, and the human capacity to endure and overcome.

...

How much truth is too much truth? What if you feel ready for disclosure, but your partner doesn't? What’s the actual goal of a therapeutic disclosure—and how do you know when you’re ready?

In this episode, we sit down with Dan Drake, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert in betrayal trauma and sex addiction recovery. Dan unpacks the basics of therapeutic disclosure, a structured process where the full truth of sexual betrayal is disclosed in a safe, supported setting. He shares the potential risks and profound benefits of doing disclosure correctly, and clears...

This week on The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast, we’re joined by Amy Elysse—vocal coach, faith-filled encourager, and a radiant light in her community. Amy opens up about her own betrayal story and shares how the human voice, primarily through singing, can become a powerful tool for healing. Whether you’re musically inclined or simply longing to express yourself more fully, Amy brings warmth, insight, and practical wisdom to the conversation. And she's created a free recording to guide you through a healing exercise.

As a mom and coach, Amy helps women reclaim their voices and step i...

Pornography addiction is one of the most misunderstood struggles in the church today, often shrouded in shame and secrecy. Sam Black, Director of Recovery Education at Covenant Eyes and author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It, joins us to share how real freedom comes through accountability, grace, and informed support. Drawing from his journalism background and over 70 interviews with pastors, counselors, and people in recovery, Sam offers practical wisdom for churches, couples, and individuals navigating the path to healing.

Key Takeaways:

Dr. Anthony Walker joins us to share how he helps men navigate the healing process after betrayal. He provides insights from Help Her Heal, a workbook by Carol Jergensen Sheets, and discusses how men can develop emotional attunement, overcome resistance, and strengthen their relationships.

Key Talking Points:

In this episode, we welcome Hope Ray, a Licensed Professional Counselor who coined Betrayal Violence. Hope is a leader in the field of betrayal trauma, offering deep insights into the effects of secrecy, deception, and relational power imbalances. She is also the creator of Complex Partner Trauma magazine, available on Amazon, which provides resources and support for betrayed partners.

Throughout our conversation, we dive into Reality Collapse, the disorientation that betrayed partners experience, and explore how betrayal violence impacts healing and recovery. Hope shares her expertise on recognizing and navigating these complex emotional experiences, helping listeners regain...

We had the privilege of sitting down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith to discuss the transformative power of the Intimacy Pyramid. With their personal story of betrayal, addiction, and healing as the backdrop, the Raabsmiths shared actionable insights and hope for couples looking to rebuild trust, connection, and relational intimacy.

The Raabsmiths are passionate leaders in the field of marriage and relationship restoration. Combining their expertise with their lived experience, they empower couples to overcome the challenges of betrayal and relational trauma. As creators of the Intimacy Pyramid, they provide a structured and compassionate approach to help...

We’re excited to welcome Dr. Laura Sanger back to The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast! Dr. Sanger’s first episode remains the top fan favorite, and we are thrilled to have her return with another timely and profound message—this time focusing on rest, just in time for the holiday season.

Dr. Sanger is a clinical psychologist, author, and the founder of No Longer Enslaved (www.nolongerenslaved.com), where she equips individuals to live free in their God-given identity, authority, and purpose.

In this episode, we explore:

🌟 What is the importance of entering into Sabb...

On today's episode of The BRT Podcast, we welcome the amazing Stacey Smith. She’s the Chief Clinical Officer and a Clinical Therapist at Daring Ventures. With a personal recovery journey from betrayal and "stinkin' thinkin'," Stacey uses her lived experience and professional expertise to guide betrayed partners and those suffering from addiction toward healing. She is certified in EMDR therapy and specializes in helping people overcome attachment wounds and shame. Stacey is passionate about creating a healing partnership with her clients and believes in the transformative power of therapy.

Key Highlights:

Stacey shares the ac...

We are thrilled to welcome Elizabeth Abbruzza, the Co-Founder and Clinical Director of the Bellevue Trauma Recovery Center, to the podcast. With a deep focus on relational trauma and betrayal, Elizabeth shares her expertise and details about the impactful Resilience Through Betrayal (RTB) intensives offered at her center.

About Elizabeth Abbruzza: Elizabeth holds a Master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Gonzaga University and specializes in addressing relational trauma, sex addiction, and problematic sexual behaviors. As a primary therapist for the Resilience Through Betrayal intensives, she empowers individuals to navigate healing after betrayal, offering therapeutic expertise...

Introduction: Kris and Jenn sit down with Karen Rellos, founder of Restored Hope Coaching and Redeeming Love Marriage Ministry. Karen, a certified betrayal trauma coach, joins the conversation to shed light on a topic that affects many relationships—Intimacy Deprivation, also known as Intimacy Atrophy (IA). With her extensive background in helping women navigate betrayal trauma, Karen offers valuable insights into the causes, impacts, and healing journey surrounding intimacy deprivation in relationships.

Key Highlights:

In this episode, we welcome Diane Schnickels, founder of Living Waters of Hope and a dedicated advocate for survivors of domestic abuse. Diane brings her extensive experience and compassionate approach to discuss when sex addiction crosses the line into abuse. She has developed crucial resources like the Oasis Bible Study and the Hope Giver Essentials training program, empowering women to heal and reclaim their lives. Today, Diane shares her insights on recognizing the signs of abuse related to sex addiction and provides valuable guidance on supporting those affected.

Key Highlights:

On this episode of BRT, we have a special guest, Pastor Nick Stumbo. Nick is the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries and has an extensive background in pastoral ministry. He began his ministry career at East Hills Alliance Church in Kelso, Washington, where he served as lead pastor for over a decade. Confronted with his own pornography addiction, Nick and his wife, Michelle, found hope and healing through Pure Desire’s counseling and group ministries. His public disclosure led to a revival of forgiveness and healing within his church, and he continues to lead the way in helping ch...

Welcome to the 20th episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast! This is a significant milestone for us, and we're thrilled to celebrate it with a special guest, Debby Flanagan. Debby is a clinician with Pure Desire Ministries, where she serves as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional. She holds a Bachelor's degree from Corban University and has an Advanced Certification through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Debby is dedicated to helping individuals who are struggling with sexual and emotional issues, guiding them through their healing journey with compassion and expertise.

Episode Description: In...

Join hosts Kris Rocha and Jenn Howie for another enlightening episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast. Today, we welcome back Tammy Gustafson, a renowned betrayal trauma coach, therapist, writer, and speaker. Tammy is here to delve deeper into her "Four Phases of Healing After Betrayal," sharing her expert insights and personal experiences. This episode is packed with valuable information, laughter, and heartfelt moments.

About Tammy Gustafson: Tammy Gustafson is the founder of Betrayal Healing, a platform dedicated to helping women navigate the painful healing journey after betrayal. With over 15 years of experience as a licensed professional...

In this mind-shifting, insightful episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast, Jenn and I had the pleasure of hosting Dr. Jill Manning. Dr. Manning is warm, caring, knowledgeable, and passionate about helping women heal. Today, she shares her expertise on a topic she's passionate about ... the impact of snooping, especially in the context of betrayal trauma. Get your notebooks ready, friends. This episode is packed with excellent information, tools, and tips.

About Dr. Jill Manning: Dr. Manning is a respected expert in the field of betrayal trauma. Her compassionate approach and wealth of knowledge demonstrate her dedication...

Adrienne Friesen joins us on this episode about supporting a friend through trauma. She has been our friend for over 20 years and we can attest that she is naturally gifted at supporting and comforting friends during difficult and traumatic times in their lives. Today, she shares her wisdom and practical advice on how to be a steadfast friend during difficult times.

Key Points Discussed:

Join hosts Kris Rocha and Jenn Howie in this special Story Spotlight episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast. Today, they are honored to feature author and speaker Tess Scott, who shares her inspiring journey of overcoming shame and replacing it with forgiveness and stepping into God's purpose for her life.

About Tess Scott: Tess Scott is a hilarious Christian speaker, a "black sheep turned Jesus girl", and the award-winning author of "Listen, Sister! Finding Hope in the Freakshow of Life." As a Canadian mother of 8, Tess is on a mission to help women with messy stories...

Grab a coffee or your favorite cup of tea and curl up with hosts Kris Rocha and Jenn Howie in this enlightening episode inspired by Dr. Jill Manning's thought-provoking Instagram post on Secondary Trauma. This conversation balances depth and lightness as they explore Dr. Manning's list of secondary trauma examples.

Key Highlights:

In this POWERFUL episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast, we are honored to host Dr. Laura Sanger, a dedicated scholar, prophetic intercessor, and spiritual warrior. Dr. Sanger brings a wealth of knowledge, blending her expertise in theology and clinical psychology, to delve into the profound topic of generational iniquity.

Key Topics Explored:

1) Generational Iniquity:

Dr. Sanger unpacks the concept of generational iniquity, offering profound insights into how the patterns of the past can influence and enslave our present and future, affecting generations to come if left unaddressed.

2) Spiritual...

On this episode of The BRT Podcast we're joined by the remarkable Hannah Wachter—a coach, encourager, and "a warm cup of tea for your grieving heart" with over fourteen years of experience as a grief expert. Hannah has a unique, personal journey that has equipped her with a compassionate lens to guide others and walk beside them in their pain, and help them heal.

Key Takeaways:

1. Transforming Pain into Purpose:

Becoming a grief coach after losing her mother unexpectedly is a testament to Hannah's gift of transforming pain into purpose. With kindness an...

Welcome back to another empowering episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast! In this edition, we're honored to host Tammy Gustafson, a renowned betrayal trauma coach, writer, and speaker. With over 13 years of experience as a licensed professional counselor specializing in PTSD and trauma, Tammy is a fount of wisdom and healing. In this episode, she takes us on a journey of reclaiming our lives after betrayal.

Key Takeaways:

1. Rebuild with Tammy's 4-Phase Process: Tammy Gustafson unveils her transformative 4-phase process for healing after betrayal. In this episode, she delves specifically into the Rebuild phase—th...