Delusions Of Grandeur

All our major players are assembled on Coruscant. After some marathon afternoons at the mall, everyone's a little overtired, and some people are on trial for their lives. Nawara gets to relive his glory days in court pointing out poor Gimble is just a virgin who CAN drive. Wedge has a moment of quiet yearning for the suburban life he could have led in a different galaxy. And Corran steps into the shoes of a 1990s heroine in a Very Special Episode. The topic? A Very Special Episode Classic TM: Sure, you can have sex before marriage, but only for...

I don't think we've ever laughed so much for so long at a series of five Star Wars chapters, you guys — and I cut out 20 minutes of it.

Everyone is playing at being a secret agent and everyone except Winter Rima is bad at it. The outfits are crazy and so are the people inside them:

Wedge and Pash and Iella hunt through an Imperial museum gift shop, looking for sociological clues.

Gavin Darklighter refuses to dance with a Bothan on the wrong side of the tracks, gets accused of bigotry, and is essentially kid...

Ok y'all it's starting to get fun! Michael A Stackpole hears our prayers and does a smash cut from PowerPoint presentation to post-battle tent set up (?). Corran and Wedge take their Good and Naughty Lists to Kessel, where Corran explains a bunch of fake drug slang to a disbelieving Nawara Ven. Everything goes so smoothly, Corran and Mirax even have time get a little flirtin' in -- before they are politely interrupted by Ooryl, who has come to show off his new arm! And our heroes break off into pairs to complete their group assignment (secretly invading Coruscant in the...

These chapters start with a bang...or at least, a big bang theory, as Leia and Wedge catch up between council sessions -- as Kelly points out, with the sort of gratuitous hand holding, forehead kisses, and commiseration about their current romantic prospects that seems a lot like the way you'd chat with a friendly ex. But not everyone on the council has a playful and not purely platonic energy together -- Fey'la and Akbar are fighting in a superficially polite but deeply passive-aggressive manner about what's to be done with Coruscant. Tragically, all these tete-a-tete's and council meetings are...

Our beloved patrons have spoken, and we're headed back to Michael A. Stackpole’s X-Wing series in search of something a little goofier...perhaps even, a little hornier? Speaking of Corran: M. Horn, Wedge and the rest of the Rogues are hanging out on a little planet called Borelias waiting on the rest of the Rebel Fleet to catch up. The ultimate plan (if you've forgotten in the last two years) is to invade Coruscant. But first, we've got to figure out what's going on with Emtrey...and maybe Tycho, if there's time. And we see indisputable proof that Wedge is...

Friends and patrons, we are gathered here today to talk about this four-part comic, released by Dark Horse, in which Luke Skywalker takes Mara Jade to be his wife. The plot really is that simple, and yet, this comic will have you repeatedly asking why or even WHY GOD?? on most every page. From the many baffling and varied head-shapes of well known characters, to the absolutely deluge of extremely jarring boomer jokes about the manifold miseries of heterosexual marriage coming out of the mouths of the galaxy's most notorious wife guys, to the Imperial plot to kidnap Mara's wedding...

We are delighted to announce Chris Kempshall, author of The Rise and Fall of the Galactic Empire, has made the tactical error of returning to this podcast. We discuss the real earth history that likely influenced Thrawn as a character and the Caamas Document Crisis, the in-universe public memory of Thrawn vs. what he actually accomplished in the first series, and the strange blurriness of galactic politics . Plus, we hear a bit about his new book Star Wars Star Pilots, which will be coming out this fall and heavily features pod favorite Wedge Antilles. And for those that haven't subscribed...

Citizens of the New Republic, we have finally made it to the end of this (New York Times Bestselling???) masterpiece. And what did we learn, Palmer? That the Caamas document is real. That Mara Jade is good at sabotage. That Leia's half-decent at piracy. That Pellaeon has an intense admiration for Talon Karrde's...ethics. That both our hosts love these books. What remains a mystery? What is a Jedi? What is the New Republic, and what does the New Republic think the Empire is? Also, where is Ghent?

Star Wars really just teaches you so much about adulthood. Lessons include:

*the bats are usually right about the lake...

*maybe don't take your frustrations out on backseat philosophers or ex-Imperial clones, they're only trying to help...

*if it's gotta be Thrawn, it's gotta be booby traps...

*and if you're about to drown, don't be surprised by the sudden urge to also MARRY, I guess?

Mara Jade, welcome to the war on cars.

Mara stops the Hand of Thrawn from making a huge mistake (and maybe becomes a Jedi?) while Luke takes a nap. Bel Iblis puts the finishing touches on his suicide plan. On Bothawui, Moranda puts a clever plan into motion but forgets her Imperial counterparts might have a death wish of their own. Pellaeon takes a call from an unknown number (possibly the bravest thing anyone has done in this book??) and we hear a familiar voice just out of sight on stage left. And Leia benches Han for the...

We race towards the thrilling conclusion of this fine novel, when one thousand carefully placed space dominoes will come tumbling down. For now, after helping to defeat Rei'kas's slavers with the power of friendship (and incredible violence), Karrde and Shada confront the final boss of manic pixie dream bosses: Jorj Car'das after a nap. In his stately pleasure-dome/conversation pit/library to the stars, we learn about his wild ride through various Force-based religions and the non-Caamas document he has that just might save the galaxy after all. Back on Bothawui, Leia and Elegos arrive just in time for the...

Luke Skywalker finally gets a chance to shine as a both a Jedi and a general contractor. Artoo unleashes his murderous side. Mara manages to avoid getting shot a second time. Han proves conclusively that he simply doesn't know metadata exists. Moranda gets drunk in a box. Flim has some fun playing galactic Risk on the big board. And Admiral Pellaeon puts on his favorite boots to make a dramatic entrance.

Did your intrepid hosts yell at eachother for over an hour and half and still only make it through three chapters? Well, yes but...you guys, things are getting good. Kliff and Navette finally start putting their plan in motion on Bothawui, only to spot those New Rep military types up close and personal in their pet shop with some old lady. Unfortunately for the Imperials, one of them is a guy off the goddamn space Wheaties box. While they debate whether or not to kill confirmed hero Wedge Antilles and whoever that short Corellian following him around is, Garm "...

"What is a hallway but a series of open-ended storage compartments?" --Karoly, probably.

Gilad Pellaeon breaks into one ivoory desk to steal floppy disks and now he's all, "let's go break my friend out of prison!" Meanwhile, despite his boss' critical feedback, Flim is out here doing an incredible job being fake-Thrawn. He's convincing pirates to give him their super deadly shipyards for free. He's got a Mistryl assassin convinced she should probably get her assassin sisterhood to join the Empire. And (for now) he's convinced Han and Lando that they have a copy of the Camaas Document...

Leia hastily sweeps some fast food wrappers off the dash as she and Pelleaon sit down to negotiate lasting galactic peace in the Falcon. Back on Bastion, the Imperial Triumvirate of Messy B*tches rides again as Han and Lando race against the best spy craft the space 1970s can buy, while Pelleaon casually violates Disra's 4th Amendment rights. Luthen Rael, eat your heart out.

We open on a very skeptical Lando who, having been guilt tripped by Han Solo YET AGAIN for casually betraying him and his lady friend ~15 years ago, is struggling to put his faith in a clone. Actually, it's more intense than that: Lando is incredibly anti-clone. Like, to the point where I can't repeat what he says here, in case clones are reading this.

Turns out, the clone just loves farming and will put up with whatever schemes Han Solo has in mind in order to get back to his crops. #cropwatch

Meanwhile, our Cave Pals™️ brea...

This future vision is starting to get spicy! Leia is (diplomatically) ambushed by Corran Horn's former butler Elegos Ak'la -- who was always too good for him, right?? Right. Oh, and he brought along this 30 year old kid named Ghent, too. Shada and Karrde have a rough day out as it becomes clear Jorge Car'das definitely knows they're coming -- and as Karrde leaves Shada out in the cold during Operation Strategic Use of Local Jackets. By way of apology, he tells her about the time Jorge Car'das was carjacked by a group of Dark Jedi and came back a...

The Council of Imperial Bitches make it through their first battle with the help of Wookipedia. Lando is interrupted on his quest to invent an underwater version of Nevada by a phone call from an old friend. Karoly D'ulin shoves herself into ever-smaller closets. Corran and Wedge fail at their mission seconds after stetting foot on Bothawui. And Mara sits down for a good-old fashioned therapy ambush after 12 hours of hiking through a cave with Luke Skywalker.

Luke and Mara reunite and begin an emotionally fraught camping trip to sneak into a heavily fortified military base while being forced to hold hands. Han attempts to seduce his wife (presumably in a sarong) only to be foiled by the Solo Embarrassment Factor (and a bunch of unmarked starfighters). Our Imperial saboteurs roll up on Bothawui with frankly offensive space-Italian accents, a dream of opening a pet store, and a perfectly calculated, insultingly small bribe. The Clone Club convenes with a proposition for Han and Leia.  And Pellaeon discovers his ex might have returned from the dead only to m...

We press on in the Hand of Thrawn duology. The cover: full of amazing hair for all our principals: Luke, Mara, and...Han? The dedication: from the author to his friends, but aren't we the real friends he made along the way??? The plot: we catch up with a variety of Imperial officers gazing pensively into space (and one scheming quite effectively to pry worlds away from the New Republic). Luke should have sprung for cave valet, as his X-wing is immediately jacked the moment he parks. The Force is surprisingly cool with grand larceny. Wedge and Corran are tapped...

We reach the epic conclusion of this (possibly?) New York Times bestselling novel. Lando learns the downsides of the caped lifestyle. Shada's job interview goes slightly sideways. Talon Karrde offers to work for free (!?). Wedge and the Rogues simply cannot catch a break (or a cake). Our hosts wonder if finding the Camaas document can even fix what's broken in the New Republic. And friend of the pod Gilad Pellaeon starts a Thrawn cover band while he waits for Bel Iblis.

We shall return with book two, Vision of the Future!

Lando gets hustled: first at sabacc, and then by Flim and co. New Republic C-SPAN gets juicy as they debate whether or not Imperial warlords can come back from the dead. We get a crash course Alderaniaan design philosophy. Shada D'ukal phones customer service and asks TO SPEAK WITH A REPRESENTATIVE. And Talon Karrde sips some fine brandy while inviting you to get comfortable in your own conversation pit.

We rejoin Pellaeon, sippin' some brandy on his galactic frenemies tour. He starts to realize that Moff Disra is probably up to worse shenanigans than money laundering, but can't quite figure out what it could be. No time to linger for a second brandy, though: he's late for a meeting with Bel Iblis (...who has not yet accepted the cal invite).

Luke Skywalker trusted the Force and it rewarded him with some kick ass architecture. Unfortunately, the splendor of Bridge World and its philosophically-minded peaceful protesters weren't enough to convince him to stick around. Instead of popping into...

[Extremely Ron Howard Voice] "Now the story of a wealthy Empire who lost everything...and the one Captain who had no choice but to keep them all together..."

While your man Pellaeon can't sleep well, he sure can scheme. His investigations into Imperial corruption are going swimmingly and he's plotting an elaborate library heist. Meanwhile, Han and Leia get caught between a mob and a Bothan staircase. C3P0 is blasted to smithereens but apparently, "he'll be alright" (WTF?! Droids' rights!). Mara Jade is trapped in an ugly ass cave, going cuckoo bananas and yelling about Skywalkers to...

The Bothan people continue their crime spree with a turn into massive financial fraud. Talon Karrde shows up with a gift and a threat. Mara just parked in the driveway but she has to turn around and go to the corner store for more intel. Luke might finally understand what the Force is all about. And Pellaeon continues his gofundme tour of the remnants of the Empire.

The Senate is in an uproar about how to dish out justice in the face of genocide — but at least they agree that their new interior decorator has impeccable taste. Han Solo casually commits Watergate-adjacent political crimes so that he can argue over payment plans for espionage with Talon Karrde. And Luke Skywalker goes on a bonkers undercover mission with the help of stage makeup and a rack of ribs — but without the help of the Force. As per yuzh, Mara Jade saves his farmboy butt.

The High Council of Imperial Bitches has their inaugural meeting. An extremely stable political alliance forms. A Smuggle Buddy begins to doubt her life choices. Pellaeon puts on his detective hat. Wedge tries to back out of buying a melon.

Once again, we find ourselves on the bridge of the Chimera with one Gilad Pellaeon, staring thoughtfully into space. Only this time, there's no more Thrawn and Pellaeon is having a bad case of the Mondays. 19 years after the Battle of Yavin, the galaxy is completely changed, with the Empire controlling scraps and the New Republic (theoretically, at least) large and in charge. While Pellaeon is pondering surrender, Han Solo is trying to do some diplomacy in order to ensure his wife gets an actual break from running the galaxy. Luke is having a mental breakdown while flying when he...

This week, we chat with the delightful author of The Rise and Fall of the Galactic Empire. Dr. Kempshall walks us through what an Imperial archive might include (or not include), which EU character he could imagine ghostwriting for, and finally gives us an answer to the persistent question: "how often should Luke Skywalker be thrown in the brig for stealing an X-Wing?" (tl;dr just like...maybe don't recruit any space wizards to your military.)

We loved this book. So our only remaining question is this: what Chandrillan palms do we have to grease to get Chris...

If all goes according to plan, we'll start our new year and next season with an interview with Dr. Chris Kempshall — author of "The Rise and Fall of the Galactic Empire."

The book traces how and why Palpatine took power (spoiler: Sith crap) and how middle managers, bureaucrats, and neutral evil civilians held the Empire together. It also tries to make the most rational case we've encountered so far for the "return of Palpatine" and his Vegas residency on Exegol. It's an in-universe history, written from the perspective of an in-universe historian who is slowly losing his mind wit...

A quick pre-cap of what you can look forward to from us in early 2026, so you can scour the used bookshelves now! (Hey-la, hey-la, the Grand Admiral's back.)

As this novel and trilogy draw to a close, the universe seems to be conspiring to make Han the grumpiest space pirate this side of Nar Shadda.

Actually, it's not the universe. It's Bria and Han's inability to hear one another, despite a surprising amount of honesty (okay, and maybe the teensiest bit of betrayal). After a firm business handshake leads to a naughty coin flip and sexy times on the cat warrior planet, Han and Bria are separately convinced that the other one is going to ditch their respective dreams in order to keep the party going...

Sit yourself down, my lads, as we delve into ever more Hutt schemes and ever wilder seating arrangements. Hutt clans are squaring off both metaphorically and literally. Xizor and Guri are using the power of Black Sun and electronic butts that just don't quit to take over the galaxy's spice production. Chewie is practicing self care and going to bed early. And, in the true spirit of Space Thanksgiving, Han is grabbing a series of increasingly emotionally fraught catch-up drinks with old friends and exes now that he's back in his hometown after doing a study abroad.

Join...

Han Solo takes a break from this trilogy to pop over into the Brian Daley series of adventures on the Outer Rim. Meanwhile, Bria is back in the field, baby! She's taking her crew's temperatures, mercing slavers left and right, and posing as a middling but hot lounge singer, where she meets a rakish mustache by the name of Lando. After narrowly escaping the clutches of Boba Fett (thanks to Lando's square pirate lady ex), Bria invites the Hutts to fund an all-out rebel attack on Ylesia. Jabba's in, but Aunt Jiliac has reservations and so the Hutt-y Dune-y schemes...

"Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam..." We are gathered here today to witness a Wookie wedding (humans: DO NOT DRINK THE BOOZE, YOU WILL DIE). Despite being surrounded by love, flying the ship of his dreams, and enjoying a moderate amount of smuggling success, Han Solo does not want to get married. Unfortunately, he also doesn't really want to talk about his feelings. So while Hutts be schemin' and Fetts be huntin', Solos be ghostin'.

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But soft! What light through yonder airbrush breaks -- it is the east, and the book is A.C. Crispin's Rebel Dawn. We're creeping closer to to the moment Han and Chewie walk through the cantina doors in Mos Eisley, but for now we have several scheming Hutts, Chewie romancing his lady friend with some fresh porcupine, and everyone converging on beautiful Cloud City, Bespin -- Han and Lando to play some cards, Bria and Winter (!!) to propose some kind of Rebel study group, and get a nice cup of vine-coffee. Plus, patrons get inventive on galactic Reddit.

...

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Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways!

Chewie contemplates the true meaning of a Wookie life debt after an incredibly annoying car ride with his human, Han finds out the perils of competency as he is sent to bribe yet another Imperial commander...and that he loves being on stage, even when not in a sparkly bodysuit. Bria finds out the Imperial Moff she's hitched her wagon to has lost his mind. Hutts continue to Hutt as battles and poisoning schemes approach their inevitable conclusions.

Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways!

Everything seems to be coming up Han. Boba Fett hasn't shot him with a butt-dart in months. After being dumped by his close-magic girlfriend, he finds a new lady in a Corellian bar (and this new lady doesn't make him wear spangly bodysuits). His buddy Lando bought a shipyard with life-crystal money and leases Han and Chewie their very own ship!! (So what if it's a total lemon and not the Falcon?) All of the Nar Shadda Smuggle Buddies (TM) get together in a space barn on the daily to fix up their ships and trade hot goss. Life is...

Where to BEGIN. Han and Chewie are living in a shitty apartment and driving a giant space bus while on the run from many a bounty hunter when they end up taking a quick jaunt to Kessel to escape from a very handsy lady Wookie. A.C. Crispin does her level best to explain why you might measure the Kessel Run in parsecs...and more importantly, how Han is, of course, a natural at flying through asteroid fields. Back on Nal Hutta, he finally gets a meeting with Jabba and Jiliac, which leads to a new job and the opportunity...