The Recovering Nice Guy - With Chuck Chapman, M.A.

One of the major reasons Nice Guys don't get the life they want is because they are bad enders. They tend to stick around when something isn't working claiming to be loyal when in reality they are simply afraid to end things. In this video I teach you how to become a good ender so you can get what you want in life, love and sex.

How do you create leadership and polarity masculinity in your relationship? Today we discuss the advice of authentic masculine leadership in relationships and address the consequences of role reversal between partners. Learn how to set the tone, create a vision, inspire your partner, and develop a definite plan to restore balance and connection in your relationship. Discover why leadership is crucial and how to rebuild trust to achieve a powerful and meaningful partnership.

We explore the deep connection between your relationship with money and your relationship with feminine energy. Masculine energy is what structures money. Discover how changing your view on feminine energy can impact your financial well-being. The video dives into the concept of financial independence, emphasizing three main pillars: mindset, habits, and relationships. Gain insights from 'Think and Grow Rich' by Napoleon Hill, learn actionable steps for shifting your money mindset, and explore the importance of affirmations, visualizations, and consistent habits. Join me for a transformative journey towards financial freedom by aligning your financial habits with your masculine energy and...

What is Positive Masculine Energy? It's needed in Positive Masculinity in men more today than at any other time. Discover the 30 rates of positive masculine energy and how the power of language shapes our unconscious mind and influences our actions. In this video, Chuck Chapman shares a personal mountain biking experience to illustrate the importance of positive focus. He explains how focusing on what we want rather than what we want to avoid can drive success and positivity. The video also introduces the concept of positive masculine energy and outlines 30 key attributes to cultivate it. Chapman provides a printable 30...

I delve into self-improvement and self-development by teaching you the crucial questions to get what you want in life. I introduce six universal psychological needs—connection, security, respect, vision, purpose, and growth—that are essential for personal fulfillment. I also explore how societal and familial expectations can lead to feelings of shame around desires. By understanding and addressing these needs, you can create a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Learn how to take responsibility for your happiness and start your journey of self-discovery today.

How do you accept yourself? How do you love yourself? In this episode, we explore the importance of having a strong sense of self to avoid becoming a people pleaser and to lead a fulfilling life. Learn about self-awareness, self-love, and how to set healthy boundaries. Practical advice includes daily practices like positive self-talk and understanding that our perceived flaws are just part of who we are. Discover how neuropsychology supports the idea that we can rewire our thoughts and behaviors to embrace our true selves and enhance our relationships. #SelfLove #Confidence #SelfImprovement #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth

Discover the secret to emotional control, mastering emotional intelligence, and achieving emotional regulation. Learn impulse control, stress management, and resilience through mindfulness and self-awareness. Unlock your emotional mastery with proven strategies from behavioral psychology.

Conquer emotional overwhelm and develop mental health skills for personal development and self-improvement. In this video, we'll explore the purpose of emotions from a behavioral psychology perspective and provide practical strategies to help you navigate life's challenges with greater composure and resilience. Discover the three key components of emotional control: Impulse control: Learn how to resist immediate reactions and make thoughtful decisions. Stress...

Struggling with relationship problems? Learn how to diagnose the health of your love life and decide whether to stay or leave. This video explores four critical questions to evaluate your relationship, covering topics like communication, intimacy, and fear. Discover the importance of physical and emotional connection, and learn how to cultivate a culture of gratitude and appreciation. If you're stuck in a cycle of unhappiness, disconnection, and hostility, it might be time to consider ending your relationship. But if you're willing to put in the work, you can revive your love life and build a stronger, more fulfilling partnership...

Breaking Free from Overthinking
Learn how to stop overthinking for good and take control of your troubling thoughts. In this video, we'll cover tips on managing intrusive thoughts and improving your mental health.

In this episode, I'm tackling the all-too-familiar problem of overthinking—how it paralyzes your decision-making, cranks up your stress levels, and wreaks havoc on your relationships. Borrowing some insights from computer programming, I dive into practical tools and techniques to help you escape those endless loops of worry and analysis paralysis. You'll learn how to set clear goals, establish firm boundaries for decision-making, an...

What Nice Guys Get Wrong About Women in their Marriages. If you've been a nice guy in your marriage and you're trying to reclaim your masculinity, this video is for you. We're diving deep into masculine embodiment and psychology, with insights from John Wineland.

Feeling stuck in your nice guy persona? It’s time to step up and embrace your masculine heart. I'll guide you through 10 actionable steps to help you regain your presence, authenticity, and integrity in your marriage.

We’ll cover:

How nice guy behavior erodes trust and kills attraction
The...

Toxic shame can be a hidden, yet powerful force, impacting everything from social anxiety to relationships. Healing toxic shame is crucial for overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome, as it fuels anxiety, depression, PTSD, and trauma. In this video, life coach and mental health advocate Chuck Chapman dives deep into the psychology of shame, providing insights and tools for personal growth and self-help.

At the core of every Nice Guy is a shame parasite, a predator that sabotages authentic living. Understanding the difference between toxic shame and guilt is essential for effective therapy and mental health awareness. Shame isn't...

Looking back, it's pretty clear that controlling others is a major symptom of the Nice Guy syndrome. Who knew that being Mr. Nice Guy was just a passive way to be Mr. Control Freak? It's not a good masculine trait. And guess what? Being controlling doesn't create positive relationships or a fulfilling life. Shocker, right? It’s exhausting and totally counterproductive. So what can you do about it? Watch this video and see if you are a good man or a control freak.

Fair warning: You're not going to like what I have to say about Nice Guy Syndrome. Most nice guys will stay stuck in miserable, people-pleasing relationships, hoping for a different outcome. Moving from a nice guy to an integrated man is hard work. If you're ready to change, stay tuned. I'm going to give you the only thing you need to do to kill your internal nice guy. 

Let's talk about the importance of rites of passage in the journey from boyhood to manhood, especially for us recovering 'NICE' guys. It's something we've lost and I think we should bring it back. I'll share my own story about a male rite of passage that helped me transition into adulthood and kick my addiction and 'nice guy syndrome' to the curb. In our modern cultures, the lack of clear rites of passage leaves many of us feeling stuck in perpetual adolescence.

I'll recount my transformative experience in a group event in the High-Desert of Oregon, involving...

People pleasing and the Nice Guy Syndrome are common for the Nice Guy and one of the ways this shows up for Nice Guys is that they are always saying I'm sorry. It's weak and meaningless. In today's video, I talk about why I never say I'm sorry anymore, and how it has changed my relationships for the better.

In this video, I explore the concept of 'Monogamous to Mom,' and The Nice Guy Syndrome. The concept that Dr. Glover Talks about in No More Mr. Nice is how many nice guys,  have with their mothers and how these bonds influence our romantic relationships. I discuss the common pattern of seeking motherly approval, which often leads to choosing partners who remind us of our mothers and developing codependent dynamics. I present various strategies for breaking free from these patterns, including building connections with other men, reevaluating father-child relationships, establishing independence from parents, and cutting ties with maternal e...

If you want to be more attractive to women, have more money, and success in life, the men with the Nice Guy Syndrome would do well to learn to be a leader, and self-leadership is the key to attraction and success.  Until you learn to lead yourself, you won’t be able to attract (or keep) a really great woman into your life. You won’t have the kind of success you want in your career, and you’ll always struggle to get ahead. 

Self-leadership equals the foundation of personal growth and relationship success. As someone who has navi...

Nice Guys struggle with talking to women because they are not confident. In this video, I'm going to share with you how you can learn to talk to women (or anyone, for that matter) with confidence and certainty. In this video, I dive deep into the crucial skills of communication skills as the number one way to increase your confidence and assertiveness. Drawing from the principles of "No More Mr. Nice Guy, by Robert Glover" I explain how these skills stem from mastering effective communication techniques. I share personal insights on how you can get your shit together by...

Sex-starved marriage, Nice Guy syndrome, and dead bedrooms—let's dive into solutions to revive intimacy and passion in your relationship! In today's episode, I cover a detailed approach to moving beyond mere duty in your marriage and bringing back the spark using the R.E.P.A.I.R. method.

What's the most common mistake Nice Guys make while trying to recover from the Nice Guy syndrome? In this video, we talk about Dr Robert Glover's book and what most men do wrong when trying to stop being Nice Guys.
This problem that most ignore, This approach leads to swapping one flawed paradigm for another and ultimately does not result in personal growth or a smoother life. Instead, the video suggests embracing the qualities of an 'Integrated Man,' as outlined by Dr. Robert Glover in 'No More Mr. Nice Guy.' Key qualities of an Integrated Man...

In this episode of The Recovering Nice Guy, the host delves into the practice of orgasmic meditation and its transformative impact on men's emotional intelligence and relationships, with guest Marc Wendt. 

Wendt shares his journey from a collapsing marriage and career to discovering self-awareness through various practices, including orgasmic meditation.

He explores the challenges he faced, such as emotional eating, and how self-discipline and vulnerability have been crucial in his transformative journey. Wendt also discusses effective leadership, the importance of neuroscience, and manifestation in achieving full potential. 

The conversation offers insights into navigating th...

The Power of Courage, overcome the Nice Guy Syndrome. Masculine psychology expert Chuck Chapman shares how to face your fears.  The video highlights the role of courage in breaking free from approval-seeking behaviors and embracing one's true power. It also discusses the significance of masculine energy, the transformative power of love over fear, and the necessity of tension for personal growth. Insights from my books, 'Finding Your Way Without Losing Yourself' and 'No More Mr. Nice Guy: The 30-Day Recovery Journal', are woven throughout the video to offer guidance for those struggling with Nice Guy tendencies.

Link t...

If you have the Nice Guy syndrome, you might also have ADHD. At the core of the Nice Guy's psychology is that he feels unlovable and unacceptable just as he is. This comes from our childhood experiences of feeling like we don't fit in.  For many Nice Guys this can be related to having undiagnosed ADHD. Let me take you on my journey, from feeling like an outsider during my younger years to the moment I received my ADHD diagnosis. While there's no concrete scientific evidence linking Nice Guy Syndrome and ADHD, the parallels in our struggles and behaviors a...

Welcome to this episode of 'The Recovering Nice Guy,' where we delve into the critical role of men's groups in personal development and overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome. Our guest today is Jason Lange, a coach specializing in men's group work, who will share his insights and personal journey with us.

Jason's journey began with overcoming social anxiety and a lack of emotional connection, leading him to discover the profound impact of men's work, shadow work, and embodiment practices. In this episode, we explore the basics and benefits of embodiment work for men, the concept of shadow...

Nice Guys like to live in the gray and, as such, often live lives in perpetual bad moods. It's part of our psychology, and it hurts men's mental health. One of the best ways to transform your life is to learn the skills for getting into and staying in a good mood. Today, I talk with an expert on good moods; we will discuss the importance of mood in determining the quality of life and identifying how many people live in a 'neutral state' of quiet desperation. Matt O'Neill, a mood expert and host of the 'Good Mood Show...

As a 'nice guy,' I struggled to find balance in my relationships because I wasn’t aware of how Masculine and Feminine polarity creates attraction.  In this video, I dive into the concept of masculine and feminine energies and how as Nice Guys we have an overly developed feminine energy and an underdeveloped masculine energy. This overemphasizing feminine often lands 'nice guys' in the friend zone, or they often end up with women who are out of balance by having an overdeveloped masculine energy. Inspired by Dr. Robert Glover's work in 'No More Mr. Nice Guy,' I dis...

Nice Guys should embrace their shadow in order to confront their anxiety and reclaim their integrity. In this video, I delve into the psychology of moving beyond the 'nice guy' facade by acknowledging and integrating the shadow aspects of ourselves. By exploring Carl Jung's theory, I highlight the importance of embracing our darker parts to achieve true integrity and personal growth. I share my personal experiences with confronting suppressed emotions and the necessity of balancing positive and negative aspects for a harmonious self. The metaphor of 'the tale of the two wolves' illustrates the internal struggle and the importance...

Why do Nice Guys get put into the friend zone, upset their partners, and never get what they want? They are out of integrity. In this video, I talk about why Nice guys are out of integrity, what this does to them in their relationship, and how to become men of integrity. I'll Emphasize the importance of the virtues that make up integrity and the need for a balance of both masculine and feminine energies; we delve into how the 'Nice Guy' masks his true self in an attempt to be liked. The negative effects of such behavior and...

The importance of Nice Guys not tolerating disrespectful behavior from their partner or anyone in your life. Nice Guys miss this essential component of relationship success because nice Guys tolerate the intolerable; female disrespect. In this self-improvement video, Chuck shares a personal story from his recovery from the nice guy syndrome and his relationship, along with tips on how to set boundaries and maintain respect in heated arguments. He also explains the five things he considers intolerable in his own relationship. This includes swearing/name-calling, yelling, threats, shaming, and refusal of an apology after crossing boundaries. The video provides...

Nice Guys get it wrong about women and, as a result, don't get what they want. Here's something you need to know about the Nice Guy's psychology;
Chuck delves into a vital topic in this insightful video, unraveling a common misunderstanding that many men have in their relationships with women. He emphasizes that the secret isn't about striving for perfection or exerting more effort; instead, it's about grasping the subtle dynamics between masculine and feminine energies. Chuck highlights a critical aspect: attention in a relationship for women is as significant as sex is for men. Through sharing his...

Learn to talk like a confident man and leave your Nice Guy persona behind. Discover the secrets to the inhibited voice and boost your self-esteem. Join us in this interview with voice coach Hoss Abostate as he shares his expertise in helping men overcome their inhibited voices. This also help for speaking to women!  Don't miss out on this opportunity to transform your voice and become a more confident version of yourself. Subscribe now for more valuable tips and techniques.

In this engaging and informative interview, life and voice coach Hoss Abostate joins Chuck to discuss the i...

Top 5 Self-Improvement Books to Read in 2024 for Personal & Business Growth: Men's Edition

In today's video, I'm excited to share with you my top five book recommendations for self-improvement in 2024, specifically tailored for men seeking growth in personal and business aspects. These books are not just about building skills; they're about understanding and balancing the masculine and feminine energies within us, enhancing our leadership qualities, managing our emotions effectively, and applying these insights in various life areas such as entrepreneurship, relationships, and achieving personal goals.

1. **"Open Her" by Karen Brody** – This book delves into the complexities of...

"You will fail at life unless you do this one thing." That's a bold statement. But it's the hidden truth behind many people's lack of success. The secret? I will share that in this video. In this video, I'm sharing the secret no one wants to admit about success in life. Without it you will fail.

🌙 I share a story that's all too common - staying up late, binging shows, gaming, and then dreading Monday morning. This cycle is a stealthy trap that keeps many from reaching their potential. The game-changer? Understanding that "Your day starts the nig...

If you want to be attractive, they say don't be needy. But this is bad advice. It's not neediness that makes you unattractive; it's neurotic validation. This video discusses the crucial but often misunderstood distinction between men seeking validation and being needy. The speaker debates the commonly held belief that seeking external validation signifies weakness and neediness, arguing instead that it's an inherent human tendency. The speaker emphasizes the importance of providing appreciation, respect, and valuing one's partner for long-term relationship flourishing. The video thus offers insight into men's emotional needs in relationships, the essence of validating and being...

Do you experience nervousness at social events, particularly around strangers? This video addresses strategies for coping with and conquering social anxiety. It explores the reasons behind our apprehension in social settings and provides useful tips for fostering connections. Learn about the significance of open body language, maintaining eye contact, and using engaging conversational methods. Discover the power of asking open-ended questions, empathizing with others, and the value of occasionally being a quiet participant. For those who find socializing daunting, this video is a guide to approaching social scenarios with increased assurance.

In this video, I delve into the topic of sexless marriages, discussing why this issue emerges and how to resolve it. I explore how sex is an integral part of marriage, and without intimacy, couples may experience severance in their connection. We discuss the necessity of regular sexual connection for maintaining a strong, intimately bonded relationship. I'll provide advice on how to preserve the 'sexual container' of marriage, including the importance of being able to openly discuss sex, overcoming sexual shame, and making sex a priority. I also emphasize that it is your responsibility to reignite the flame. If...

Many have a misconception that the pursuit of success is the ultimate goal. However, this widely held belief is misleading. The true essence of fulfillment doesn't lie in chasing success; it lies in pursuing purpose. When we prioritize purpose over success, we attain a sense of lasting fulfillment. Success may be transient, often disappearing as swiftly as it comes, but purpose is an enduring quest that spans our lifetime. Interestingly, when we shift our focus from chasing success to following our purpose, success naturally follows. On the contrary, a singular focus on success can lead us away from discovering...

If you're looking for some dating advice or relationship help, stay tuned. Central to this advice is the concept of dating a '10' or the ideal partner. In this coaching session, relationship expert Chuck Chapman M.A., guides viewers on how to evaluate their current or potential relationships. Dating with integrity means looking at the importance of understanding one's own worth and desirable qualities to attract a quality partner. He explains the importance of physical attractiveness, discussing sexual preferences, compatibility, family background, personal responsibility, and attitudes toward men and women. The speaker also addresses sometimes overlooked but important...

In this video, I explore how to effectively handle and overcome my sensitivity to criticism and how it affects your masculine energy and integrity. I delve into how perceived criticism or pushback emotionally impacts me, leading to feelings of withdrawal or hurt. I discuss some signs of these unskillful reactions and the concept of negativity bias. I talk about a lesson from David Deida's Book, Way of the Superior Man. I share advice on how to recognize, navigate, and resolve these emotions, including becoming aware of my emotional state, identifying where the pain physically manifests in my body, and...

Many men lack the integrity and masculine energy to assert themselves and confront things standing in the way of getting what they want in life. This makes them look wimpy and weak. On the other hands, all to often we assume we have to be a jerk if we are going to confront someone. 

However, this is not the case. In this video, we explore the concept of assertiveness and why it's okay to stand up for ourselves. It's normal to be afraid of other people's opinions and reactions, but by allowing these fears to govern ourselves, w...