Escape From Vault Disney

In this year's belated Halloween episode, the randomizer goes all the way back to the late 2010s and early-mid 2020s to pick an assortment of Halloween-themed and Halloween-adjacent Disney Junior interstitials starring the mascot of the entire massive megacorporation, Mickey Mouse! And in these eleven riveting two-minute shorts made for three-year-olds, we get to see our pal Mickey destroy multiple Halloween costumes, watch a scary movie about giant banana aliens, show us his Halloween decorations, dance like a robot, get gaslit at a campfire, ride a train around his backyard, tell a story about a haunted house owned by...

In this episode, we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Randee Martin makes us watch the 2009 theatrical feature film adaptation of the obscenely successful Disney Channel sitcom where a teen pop star played a teen pop star, expanding the premise's canvas from a tacky little three-camera standard-definition digital video setup to a full-blown beautifully-filmed Panavision cinematic experience. And what better way to pad out the additional 80 minutes or so of screentime than with shoe fights, plate smashings, mall vilifications, multi-colored chicken coops, inexplicable alligators, slightly-less-inexplicable ferrets, coconut-induced "Aloha Oe" parodies, British...

In this episode, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2023, the year intrepid explorer and archeologist Dr. Henry Walton "Indiana" Jones, Jr. returned to the silver screen as a very old man in a movie about a dial of some sort of destiny. But the randomizer didn't pick that legacy sequel, it picked a tie-in documentary about the very legacy that led to that sequel in the first place, a legacy that very nearly prominently involved Tom Sellick until fate mercifully intervened and instead cast the legendary thespian from some Space Battles movie of some sort who also...

After yet another unexpectedly-long hiatus, in this episode the randomizer goes all the way back to 2018 and 2019, to a complete series of interstitial music videos that tied in to yet another Disney Junior series that taught pre-school children the importance of diversity and self-esteem, except in this particular series, the metaphor for "being different" they went with was making the title character a mythical undead humanoid creature that traditionally subsists on human blood. That's right, if you thought the sparkly vampires of Twilight were an insult to Bram Stoker, get ready for a GLITTERY vampire with her own rock...

After an unexpectedly long hiatus, we are back with a new episode in which the randomizer goes all the way back to 2023, to one of the seemingly hundreds of times Disney has taken one of their beloved awe-inspiring unforgettable animated masterpieces and reimagined it as a tolerated "meh"-inspiring live-action blockbuster that costs more than the GDP of most countries and completely leaves your memory before you even find your car in the parking lot. This time, they got around to remaking the film that changed animation forever, the era-defining fairy tale classic that revitalized the company and kicked...

SURPRISE! Happy holidays, folks! Join Tony Goldmark and a Surprise Special Guest as they curl up by the Christmas tree with a warm blanket and a mug of hot cocoa and enjoy A VERY JONAS CHRISTMAS MOVIE YULE LOG!

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Hear new episodes early an...

What do acclaimed Italian opera tenor Andrea Bocelli, a hideous whiskey-drinking Spanish-speaking monkey puppet, and the daughter of the Queen of Hearts all have in common? Well, apart from that unforgettable evening at Burning Man a few years back, absolutely nothing...until now. For our one and only Christmas episode of 2025, the randomizer is going all the way back to the mid-2020s to pick a trio of Christmas shorts - a Simpsons short where the "Con Te Partirò" guy serenades the most important family in Springfield, an Argentinian sitcom special where a repulsive talking monkey puppet forces holiday c...

For our fifth and final episode of the cartoonishly-inaccurately-titled Patreon Request "Month" 2025, the randomizer is going all the way back to the 1940s to pick Landon Knoke's request for four specific vintage animated shorts in which everyone's favorite dimwitted cartoon dog-man tries his white-gloved hand at that eternal lifework of dimwitted dog-men everywhere, athletics! Every physical activity from plummeting down a steep snowy mountain with large wooden sticks on your shoes, to hitting a small ball with a different kind of wooden stick and running around in a circle, to carrying a prolate spheroid across a grassy field filled...

This coming weekend, The Dr. Demento Show comes to an end after an incredible 55 YEARS on the radio and/or internet. And in this special bonus minisode, I veer off-topic from what we usually cover on this podcast to discuss who Dr. Demento is and what he and his gloriously demented show has meant to me, and play my brand-new tribute song all about him, "Smogberry Pie."

Dr. Demento's official site, featuring The Dr. Demento Show archives: https://drdemento.com/
"Smogberry Pie" annotated lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FhduKLOq-fn8GrytL5QrRAmKE9lyDdcZzoaFXhsPQFI 

It's our fourth episode of the increasingly-inaccurately-titled Patreon Request "Month" 2025, and in the longest official episode of this podcast to date, the randomizer is going all the way back to 1988 to pick ArthurCrane's request for, quite simply, one of the greatest cinematic triumphs of all time, a tour-de-force of animation, live action and pre-CGI special effects wizardry, wrapped up in a still-relevant metaphorical fable about civil rights and gentrification set in an impossible fantasy world that combines a gritty film noir aesthetic with off-the-wall cartoon zaniness. Directed by future Oscar-winning blockbuster visionary Robert Zemeckis at the peak of his...

It's our third episode of Patreon Request "Month" 2025, and the randomizer is going all the way back to 2002 to pick Joejira's request for one of the most groundbreaking superhero epics of all time, a box office record-shattering worldwide phenomenon that finally brought one of the most legendary comic book characters ever created to the big screen in a timeless coming-of-age fable about great power and great responsibility, helmed by an offbeat yet aesthetically perfect visionary filmmaker. It also contains an extended cameo from a dead pro-wrestler who used to do Slim Jim commercials, a line of dialogue about Julia...

It's our second episode of Patreon Request "Month" 2025, and the randomizer is going all the way back to 2023 to pick something we got THREE requests for, from Kris C., Carolyn Knudstrup and Emma Looman. It's an epic patience-testing three-and-a-half-hour live concert film spanning the entire illustrious career of the single most popular and influential musician of our time, arguably the most talented performer ever to rack up eleven #1 singles, ten #1 albums (fourteen if you count re-recordings), fourteen Grammys, over fifty million albums sold in an era when no one buys music anymore, seven hundred and forty-two ex-boyfriends, three thousand...

In this episode, after way too many delays, the randomizer kicks off this year's Patreon Request Month by going all the way back to 2009 to pick E.J. Riley's request for a documentary about two legendary brothers who became Walt Disney's personal staff songwriters in the 1960s. Over the course of their illustrious decades-spanning careers, they composed such all-time classic beloved evergreen masterpieces as "Fidelity Feduciary Bank," "Let's Put It Over with Grover," "The Boomps Song" and of course "Detroit." But beneath those hummable earworms, all was not well for Richard and Robert, for theirs is a story that...

In this episode, we're bypassing the randomizer for a VERY long-awaited Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend David Ganssle FINALLY takes his Guest's Choice option out of his back pocket after four-and-a-half years and slaps it in front of our eyeballs, but not before cutting eyeholes in it to shield our identities. That's right, Doggans is making us watch a 1958 "clip show" movie compiled from the first thirteen episodes of Disney's hit 1950s ABC black-and-white primetime series about that legendary world-famous dashing Spanish Californian outlaw played by the dad from Lost In Space who outfoxes tyrannical dictators...

In this episode, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1999 to pick a teen high school romantic comedy loosely based on one of the more controversial plays by history's most celebrated playwright, William Shakespeare. Now, Shakespeare is of course ubiquitously revered as the greatest writer the English language has ever known, but it's worth asking from time to time, did any of his plays contain motorcycle stunts, ska music, outdoor paintball, high school students inexplicably dressed as cowboys, Seattle's Fremont Troll sculpture, a large penis drawn on the face of the head elf from The Santa Clause, or...

In this episode, for this year's Christmas episode, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2004 to pick a straight-to-DVD anthology feature in which everyone's favorite classic Disney animated characters were given some of the most horrendously hideous CGI makeovers you ever done seen, just so they could star in a bunch of even-cheaper holiday stories about everything Christmas is all about: sick ice skating moves, espionage, chronic embarrassment, blacklight-induced violent rage, and of course the act of naming a dog Murray. Needless to say, they couldn't get Kelsey Grammer to narrate this one. Join Tony Goldmark, Dave Cobb...

The Mickey's Twice Upon A Christmas episode isn't quite ready yet, but I still wanted to give everyone a special holiday message. Merry Holidays to all!

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Host's Twitter: https://twitter.com/tonygoldmark
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Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/972385353152531
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Hear new episodes early by supporting this show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tonygoldmark

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In this year's Halloween episode, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2021 to pick the Halloween episode of one of the biggest zeitgeist-capturing megahit series in the illustrious five-year history of Disney+. The first-ever television show produced by Marvel Studios was also a twisted love letter to the history of television itself, filtered through an uncommon love story between an Eastern European witch and an undead British-accented android, in a thoroughly postmodern setting that literalized how escapist entertainment can paradoxically become a mental prison, all wrapped up in a package so weird and yet so accessible that it...

In this episode, just in time for the World Series and a new football season, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2019 to pick the first ESPN "30 For 30" sports documentary we've ever had to cover on this podcast! Specifically, a documentary about multi-hyphenate 90s superstar athlete Deion Sanders, aka "Prime Time," which is a nickname he gave himself, presumably for reasons. Sanders gained fame for playing professional baseball AND football at the same time, and once in October 1992, he attempted to play in an NFL game in between two postseason MLB games in a different state, all within...

In this episode, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2021 to pick an example of everyone's favorite subgenre of Disney+ content, that's right, another NatGeo documentary! Only this time, it's NOT one of those wretched disposable televised NatGeo specials that's exactly the same as every other NatGeo special, it's a full-fledged NatGeo-branded theatrical documentary feature film from the Oscar-winning directors of Free Solo about the 2018 Tham Luang cave rescue, an inherently compelling true story of unlikely heroes triumphantly overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds in order to save human life, which unfortunately is primarily known to westerners as "that one...

In this episode, we return following an unanticipated long hiatus as the randomizer goes all the way back to 2022 to pick the first episode of a Chinese romantic comedy streaming series from China's video-sharing site Bilibili. In this period piece set during the Ming Dynasty, we follow a woman's journey from humble beginnings to her position as head chef for the crown prince at the imperial palace, all while the show's aesthetics combine mouth-watering culinary footage, Hanna-Barbera sound effects and jokes about turning kidnappers into eunuchs until it gets to the point where you really have to wonder, "what...

Please donate to these Human Trafficking Prevention & Survivor Protection charities: https://www.charitynavigator.org/discover-charities/best-charities/human-trafficking-prevention/ 

DISCLAIMER: This minisode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made.

In this special minisode, we combine the last two theme "months" together by assembling eighteen regular guests to give...

It's the ludicrously-belated fifth and final episode of WHAT WOULD WALT HAVE DONE? "MONTH" on Escape From Vault Disney! And to wrap up this batch of episodes on the most awkward time period in Disney history, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1976 to cover an example of Disney's most reliably lucrative (or at least, least reliably un-lucrative) genre at the time, the dumb-as-rocks slapstick-heavy live-action comedy! And what a comedy it was, assembling more exclamation-point-worthy TV stars than a primetime variety special - Ed Asner! Don Knotts! Tim Conway! Tom Bosley! Bob Crane! Dick Van Patten! Dick...

DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made.

WHAT WOULD WALT HAVE DONE? MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney just keeps on lumbering along! For our fourth...

It continues to be WHAT WOULD WALT HAVE DONE? MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney! And for our third episode of What Would Walt Have Done? Month, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1981 to pick an animated would-be classic that seemed to have everything going for it: a beautiful nature setting in the Bambi mold, a timeless parabolic story about the irrationality of bigotry, and a once-in-a-lifetime animation crew loaded with literally dozens of future directors. How could they possibly screw that up? Welp, dull dialogue, a meandering story, muddled character motivations, instantly forgettable songs, an inept...

It's still WHAT WOULD WALT HAVE DONE? MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney! And for our second episode of What Would Walt Have Done? Month, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1976 to pick an ambitious misfire released just in time for America's bicentennial, a would-be epic treasure hunt adventure set in the Reconstruction-era American South that aims to be Budget Mark Twain by way of Budget Robert Louis Stevenson, depicting America as a chaotic lawless hellscape where former slaves run back to their plantations, snake oil medicine can be refashioned into Molotov cocktails, impromptu hoedowns turn into...

It's WHAT WOULD WALT HAVE DONE? MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney, as we devote March 2024 to movies, featurettes and/or TV specials produced by Walt Disney Productions during that odd, awkward inbetween time from 1968-1984, after Walt died but before Eisner took over! And for our first episode of What Would Walt Have Done? Month, we're joined by the man who literally wrote the soon-to-be-released book on that era, Meet the Robinsons director Stephen Anderson! And for our topic, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1977, the summer when Star Wars had the unmitigated audacity to dominate...

This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2019 to pick yet another NatGeo special! And since it's become abundantly clear that every NatGeo special is exactly the same, I'm gonna devote the rest of this description to talking about the life of actor/comedian Chris Elliott. Born in 1960 in New York City as the fifth and youngest child of Bob Elliott of Bob & Ray fame, Mr. Elliott was hired as a production assistant on Late Night with David Letterman and soon began playing various wacky characters on-camera. This led to supporting roles in such films as Manhunter...

A two-and-a-half-hour supercut of all sixteen "What Else Is Not On Disney+?" minisodes, featuring more-or-less the entire conversation Tony Goldmark had with David Ganssle in the spring of 2023 in which they went through the entire Not On Disney+ Month shortlist and said a few words about each item.

This week we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, which in this case doubles as a belated Christmas episode AND triples as an even-more-belated Halloween episode! Our good friend and newly-sentient amorphous blob of characters Garrett Smith "makes" us watch one of the most groundbreaking animated features of all time, a 1993 stop-motion animated borderline-experimental quasi-operatic tone poem of a film about the shenanigans that ensue when the bored leader of an annual tradition finds a buncha magic trees containing the other annual traditions and decides to colonize one of them, filled with gorgeous sumptuous visuals, haunting...

DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made.

This week, for our second Christmas episode of the season, the randomizer goes back to 2021 to pick another piece...

This week, for our first Christmas episode of 2023, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2020 to pick a heartwarming holiday special made when the world was struggling through an unprecedented catastrophic global pandemic, so naturally The Disney Channel thought it'd be a swell idea to take a quartet of promising young actors from the ZOMBIES movies (I swear we didn't mean to cover two ZOMBIES tie-in specials in a row, the randomizer just works in mysterious ways sometimes), entice them to enter Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom after hours with the false promise of an empty park and...

David Ganssle and I finally wrap up our conversation where we said a few words about every item on the Not On Disney+ Month shortlist! In this one, we go through another, shorter list of Disney-owned movies and shows that I considered for the shortlist, but ultimately didn't make the cut.

Yet again, me and David Ganssle continue making our way through the Not On Disney+ Month shortlist in alphabetical order! In this one, we briefly discuss the original 1997 Under Wraps, Victory Through Air Power, The Watcher In the Woods, "Weird Al" Yankovic: There's No Going Home, Winnie the Pooh and a Day for Eeyore and The Wuzzles!

This week, for our second of two Halloween episodes of the year, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2022 to cover that time the Disney Channel cartoon about noseless cornlike rural caricatures spent an entire half-hour special shamelessly promoting the trilogy of Disney Channel movie musicals about various high-school-age monsters who don't act like monsters except when they do. If that sounds random and arbitrary to you, try recording a podcast about it where exactly one out of four people has seen any full episodes of the cartoon, and no one has seen any of the movies. Or...

This week, for our first of two Halloween episodes of the year, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1984 to cover one of the earliest live-action efforts of a rising young talent by the name of Tim Burton, who in this landmark early work explored many of the very same themes and motifs that would later become ubiquitous in his filmography, including the juxtaposition of mundane suburban life with horror-fantasy tropes, the celebration of misunderstood outsiders over bland conformists, and of course cool-looking German expressionist gothic art design absolutely slathered all over the screen. At the time it...

This week we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Madeline Maye makes us watch one of the first episodes of a 1988 ABC Saturday morning cartoon produced by Walt Disney Television Animation, a series that came about when the executives said "So yeah, Winnie the Pooh's a big popular brand for us, let's just slap together a cute little Pooh show to sell some more plush toys to pre-schoolers, it doesn't need to be mindblowing or anything." To which the writers, artists and showrunners responded, "We are going to make an episode...

Yet again, me and David Ganssle continue making our way through the Not On Disney+ Month shortlist in alphabetical order! In this one, we briefly discuss Ten Who Dared, That Thing You Do!, They Might Be Giants: Here Come the ABCs, Titan A.E., the 2015 Tomorrowland movie and the 1997 Tower of Terror movie!

UPDATE: And, of course, mere minutes before this minisode went public, they announced that Spider-Man: Far From Home would arrive on Disney+ on November 3!

Yet again, me and David Ganssle continue making our way through the Not On Disney+ Month shortlist in alphabetical order! In this one, we briefly discuss Spider-Man: Far From Home, Sport Goofy In Soccermania, a bunch of Disney park attraction videos (specifically the original Star Tours pre-show and ride film, The Disney Studios Story from the Backstage Studio Tour, Back To Never Land from The Magic of Disney Animation, Michael & Mickey from Inside...