Becoming Whole

Pain has a way of driving our choices, especially the choices we regret most. When unwanted sexual behaviors show up, it’s tempting to reduce everything to willpower, rules, or stronger accountability. We’ve learned that lasting sexual integrity usually requires something deeper: changing how we relate to pain, how we relate to other people, and how we relate to ourselves.

Josh is joined by Greg Ruhland from our church engagement team to explore what it looks like to stop medicating discomfort and start listening to it. We talk about the common defaults most of us learned for...

Fantasy is a soft place to land because it demands nothing from us. Reality is harder and that’s exactly why it changes us. We sit with a blunt question that can reshape recovery: if you keep returning to porn, sexual fantasy, scrolling, or busyness, what pain or fear are you trying not to feel? When we stop fighting symptoms and start listening, escape loses some of its power. 

We talk about why modern life makes it easier than ever to build a “virtual reality” that feels safer than the real world, and why Jesus keeps inviting us back...

A trigger can feel like proof that something is wrong with you.

But we’ve learned to see it differently: emotional pain that taps an unhealed wound and yanks us out of our best thinking. When that happens, our bodies often take over with fight, flight, fawn, freeze, or a rush toward self-comfort that can slide straight into the addiction cycle. We slow all of that down and ask a better question: what if the trigger is an invitation to connection and healing?

We get practical about what to do in real time when you’re a...

If you’ve ever wondered why your recovery feels slow even when you’re doing “all the right things,” this conversation names a missing piece that can change your trajectory: retreat. We talk about why getting away for a concentrated weekend is not escapism, but a powerful and practical recovery tool that helps you go deeper than weekly therapy, coaching, or group can often reach on their own. When time expands and distractions shrink, the real story under the behavior has room to surface and heal. 

We unpack what actually makes retreats effective for sexual recovery and Christian...

A lot of us want joy without the valley, freedom without the tears, and healing without feeling what happened. That’s why we start with a vivid picture: your inner world as a dinner party where every emotion shows up, including the ones you’d rather avoid. When we refuse to “come downstairs,” we often reach for fast comfort and one of the most powerful shortcuts is sex. It can feel like relief, but it’s a pseudo-resurrection that never brings real repair. 

James Craig sits down with Kyle Bowman to talk about what happens when we stop runnin...

The question “Can same-sex attraction change?” is rarely just curiosity. It usually carries fear: “Will I ever be able to marry?” “Is this who I am?” “If this shows up again, does that mean God isn’t working?” Josh sits down with Kyle Bowman and Greg Ruhland from Regeneration to talk honestly about change, discipleship, and what a hopeful, grounded Christian perspective can look like when you’re tired of shame and exhausted from trying to white-knuckle your way into freedom.

Kyle shares her personal journey from years of same-sex relationships to a slow reorientation of desire that comes from purs...

A single word can change what someone believes about themselves. “Addiction.” “Trauma.” “Struggle.”  James Craig and therapist Blake Brinkman talk honestly about why certain terms can shut people down, especially when they carry cultural baggage, and how a simpler word like struggle can sometimes open the door to truth, humility, and real support.

We also get specific about sexual brokenness and pornography addiction, including why compulsive porn use can function like a process addiction even without a substance. When you understand the cycle and what’s happening in the brain, it becomes easier to pursue the right kind of care in...

Anger can feel like the problem, but what if it’s actually the cover story? Aaron Tagert and James Craig pull on a thread that has reshaped their coaching conversations: sadness often starts in the gut, rises toward tears, and when we block it, it can convert into anxiety in the chest or burst out as anger from the mouth. That shift matters for anyone who feels stuck in frustration, shame, or emotional shutdown and can’t figure out why the smallest things set them off.

We get practical and personal, talking about jaw tension, tight chests, fati...

Calling yourself “humble” can sound spiritual while you quietly live in self-doubt, shame, and a constant need to prove you matter. In this episode of Becoming Whole, we share part of a hard truth: insecurity and humility are not the same, and mixing them up can keep you stuck in lust and unwanted sexual behaviors even when you genuinely want freedom.

We walk through the difference between love and lust, then connect it to the sexual addiction cycle: challenging life events, triggers, shame, and the pull toward quick relief. Along the way, we name why pornography can feel...

Your strongest sexual desires can feel like destiny, like a permanent label that tells you who you are and what you’ll always chase. We don’t buy that. James Craig sits down with Josh Glazer to talk about a different kind of change: not behavior hacks, not sheer willpower, but the slow, hopeful formation of what we love, what we long for, and what we reach for when we’re hurting.

We dig into how culture preaches “follow your heart,” and why that message often produces despair for Christians who feel divided inside. Then we get practical...

A lot of people want to be compassionate and end up quietly rewriting their convictions. We start with a sharp line from Augustine that helps clear the fog: it’s one thing to be wrong about a person, but it’s another thing to call something good that God calls sin. 

From there, we talk honestly about the pain underneath the LGBTQ experience and sexual brokenness, and why love doesn’t avoid that pain by changing the definition of morality. Love goes into the hard places because it cares about what happens next, emotionally, spiritually, and in real li...

Your sexual desire can feel like a verdict. When you’ve gone back to porn again, crossed boundaries again, or found yourself stuck in patterns you hate, it’s easy to believe the loudest story: this is just who I am. We push against that lie with a different question, one that exposes the strategy of shame: why would the enemy want you to believe your sexual behaviors define your identity?

We stay in John 4 with Jesus and the woman at the well, not to weaponize the passage, but to hear the tenderness in it. Jesus doesn’t appr...

The lie that keeps so many of us stuck isn’t “you’re too weak” it’s “you’re on your own.” When we’re isolated, we learn to manage, perform, and keep it together, while the real stuff stays hidden under shame and fear. Today, we go after that hidden layer and ask a simple, unsettling question: what’s the 3% you won’t say out loud, and what is it costing you?

I’m joined by Jamie and Blake, Nashville therapists and the voices behind the Three Percent Podcast. They share how trauma, attachment wounds, and 12-step recovery shaped th...

Sex can feel like the loudest desire in the room, but what if it’s actually a signpost pointing to something deeper? James Craig, our director of projects, shares a condensed version of a church talk that maps a Christian theology of sexuality from creation to fall to redemption, with an honest look at why so many people feel fractured inside their own wants, choices, and sense of self.

If you’ve ever wondered why sex carries so much weight, or how healing can reach deeper than shame and willpower, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this...

The first command in the Bible is not a rule about what to avoid. It is a commissioning to be fruitful, to multiply, and to image God together as embodied people. That single detail reframes a lot of confusion and shame around sex, the body, and marriage, so we decided to share a portion of a church talk from James Craig, our director of projects, that takes the wide-angle view.

We start with Genesis and a Christian anthropology: Imago Dei and the claim that men and women share equal dignity and a shared calling. Then we dig...

*The topic is anger, but the stories are tender, so please pause, pray, breathe, and listen as you feel ready.*

Anger is often misunderstood—and often buried.

But what if anger isn’t just something to control…
 What if it’s something to understand?

In this episode, we explore how anger can function as both a signal and a driver—especially in cycles of unwanted sexual behavior. Drawing from Scripture, personal stories, and practical tools, we talk about how to:

Shame has a way of pushing us into the hottest part of the day, alone, doing life where no one can see us. That’s why John 4 hits so hard for anyone carrying sexual brokenness, porn use, compulsive fantasy, secret hookups, or a past that still stings. We walk through Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman and pay attention to the details that reveal His heart: He goes where others won’t go, He initiates conversation, and He starts with a humble request for a drink.

We talk about isolation and defensiveness as survival strategies, and the way Je...

A head turn in the park. A glance across the sanctuary. For many couples healing after infidelity, pornography, or sexual addiction, those tiny moments can feel bigger than the whole week of progress. We sit down with coaches Aaron Tagert and Anne Donahue to slow the moment down and name what’s really happening: betrayal trauma in her body, shame and helplessness in him, and the split-second choice between defensiveness and connection. 

We talk about why “I wasn’t looking” usually backfires, even when it’s true, and how a betrayed spouse can experience that as being left again...

Addiction and unwanted sexual behaviors often feel like a mystery: “I don’t want this, but I keep doing it.” We sit down with Chris Coursey, co-founder and president of Thrive Today, to explore a different diagnosis for overcoming sexual addiction. Addiction, a maturity gap that forms when our brains never receive key relational skills. When these skills are missing, we don’t stop needing comfort, connection, or relief. We just reach for substitutes that work fast and fade faster.

We dig into the Life Model framework and the neuroscience of relational transformation, especially the difference between happines...

“I watch porn because my wife won’t have sex with me” sounds like a blunt confession, but it’s usually a doorway into something much bigger: intimacy, rejection, power, trust, and what we believe sex is actually for. We sit with that statement pastorally and honestly, and we ask a hard question many couples avoid: when sex disappears in a Christian marriage, what is the wise, loving, God-honoring next step?

We walk through why sex is more than a physical outlet. It’s connection, “knowing,” and covenant communion. Then we slow down in 1 Corinthians 7, a passage that often get...

“Are you affirming?” might be the most common question churches get about sexuality and it’s also one of the easiest traps to fall into. We want to be clear on historic Christian teaching about marriage, singleness, celibacy, and chastity, but we also want to lead with the better invitation: come follow Jesus, and let him reshape every part of your life. That shift changes the entire atmosphere, especially for people who feel like their sexual struggles make them unwelcome at church. 

We dig into why sexuality is not just a “hot button issue” but a doorway into some o...

In this episode, our hosts share what they hear most from clients who love their local church yet feel stuck. Either sex is never addressed; it shows up as a quick “thou shalt not” list, or the tone implies “if you struggle, you’re bad.” We also explore the website dilemma: when clarity is loving, when vagueness backfires, and how a perceived bait-and-switch can retraumatize people who already fear rejection.

If you’re a pastor, a small group leader, or a church member who wants to help, listen and then share this with someone you trust. Subscribe, leave a revi...

What if the way we talk about sexuality is the very thing keeping us stuck? We trace the surprising origins of “heterosexual” and “homosexual,” unpack why those categories took hold, and explore how turning desires into identity reshaped culture, conscience, and the church. We draw from Michael Hannon’s “Against Heterosexuality” and Michel Foucault’s history of sexuality to show how an invented binary promised clarity but delivered confusion, shame, and pride.

We share why language isn’t neutral—names create lenses—and how the orientation frame quietly shifted moral questions from action and virtue to inner self-analysis. For tho...

What if your imagination isn’t a liability but a lifeline? We open a candid conversation about fantasy, romance, and the deep longings that quietly direct our relationships with ourselves, others, and God. Rather than treating desire like a problem to fix, we treat it like a compass—one that often points to unmet needs for being seen, soothed, safe, and secure.

Join us, get curious, and take the next brave step. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review.

Also, we want to hear from you. What is your...

Shame, Isolation, and Why Community Is the Opposite of Addiction 

Join us in today’s episode as I (James Craig) sit down with Regen coach Aaron Tagert to talk about what keeps people stuck in addictive cycles—especially around porn and unwanted sexual behaviors. Aaron shares three major drivers he’ll cover in an upcoming men’s webinar: shame, isolation, and the uncomfortable truth that there can be something about porn that part of us “likes.” 

We focus mainly on isolation, pulling from Marcus Warner’s "Slaying the Monster" and the idea that the opposite of addiction isn...

Repentance doesn’t have to sound like a finger wag. We explore a better way: turning as realignment with God’s character and kingdom. Especially for those worn out by “just stop it” advice or guilt-heavy apologies that never seem to change anything. Drawing on the idea of metanoia—the turning of the mind—we share how repentance becomes a process shaped by what we feed our attention, who we walk with, and how we pray with our bodies when desire runs hot, and feelings run cold.

If repentance as realignment sounds like good news you could live with, p...

What if the missing piece in recovery and marriage isn’t more discipline, but deeper confidence? Not swagger. Not self-worship. A grounded assurance that you’re God’s workmanship, made very good, and called to show up with your whole self for the good of others. 

We unpack how this kind of confidence breaks the cycle of lust and fantasy by replacing shortcuts with purpose and presence, and why it’s the difference between real love and people-pleasing.

If this resonates, share it with a friend who needs courage today, subscribe for more conversations like this, and...

Temptation rarely arrives out of nowhere—it rides in on pain, pressure, and old stories that never got the care they needed. In this episode, Josh checks in with coaches Aaron Tagert and James Craig to explore a kinder, braver way to face unwanted sexual behavior: trade shame for curiosity, isolation for relationship, and quick fixes for deep repair.

We start by reframing triggers as signals of emotional or physical discomfort, then show why “why” is the wrong starting question. Instead, we lean into who, what, when, where, and how—questions that ground you in your body, invite e...

The way we talk about sex shapes what we see—and too often, we’ve learned to see in parts. Today, we take a jackhammer to the pavement of cultural scripts and rebuild a vision where sex isn’t “a thing” to get, but a way to love a whole person. We explore how lust reduces and love restores, why the body speaks of a person’s worth, and how honoring freedom, story, and dignity transforms intimacy.

If you’ve felt trapped in the loop of demand, disappointment, and dull desire, this conversation offers a way out: strengthen the...

Secrets starve intimacy, and silence keeps marriages stuck at the surface. We pull back the curtain on what it really takes to move from hidden struggle to honest healing: starting real recovery, disclosing wisely, and building daily safety through empathy, boundaries, and rhythm. With coaches Ann Donahue, Aaron Tagert, and James Craig, we break down betrayal trauma in plain language so both partners can understand why the body panics, why the mind spins, and what actually restores a sense of safety after trust has been broken.

We walk through a practical framework for momentum. The three C’s—...

What if telling the truth is the only way to make home feel safe again? We dive into the messy, honest reality of confession around sexual brokenness and how to navigate it when your spouse says they don’t want the details. With James hosting alongside coaches Aaron and Anne, we unpack why secrecy keeps control in place, why many betrayed spouses want truth without graphic play‑by‑play, and how to honor both integrity and nervous system safety at the same time.

We walk through five essential steps for real recovery. It starts with getting help: a comm...

What if the most important part of talking with our kids about sex isn’t a perfect script, but a different posture? 

We unpack why the one-and-done model backfires, how tone silently teaches more than content, and what to do when your own fear, shame, or grief flares in the moment. You’ll hear practical language for “I don’t know yet, but I’ll get back to you,” and how that single line can keep your child coming to you rather than Google. We also tackle the tricky middle ground of vulnerability without oversharing, focusing on emotions and...

What if the goal isn’t to bubble‑wrap your kids from a sexualized world, but to raise resilient, shame‑resistant disciples who know how to repair? James Craig sits down with our newest staff member and parenting resource lead, Blake Brinkman, to tackle five urgent questions parents are asking: shielding kids from porn, responding to rebellion, setting wise screen rules, navigating complexity, and leading from your own healing. Together we rethink control, anchor everything in the Incarnation, and show why exposure may be inevitable, but shame doesn’t have to be.

We dig into why porn hooks th...

Ever felt like you’re living two lives—one that prays and serves, and one that hides, aches, or acts out? We go straight at that divide and ask what Advent is really saying to our bodies: the Word became flesh. If God chose skin and bone, then your body isn’t a liability to your faith—it’s the home where Christ loves, heals, and restores.

If this met you, share it with a friend who needs hope, subscribe for more conversations on embodied faith, and leave a review with one takeaway you’ll try this week. Where...

Start with a simple claim that changes everything: your body is not an accessory to your soul; it’s where God meets you. We explore how the incarnation—God with us in a body—reframes three charged realities shaping our lives right now: transgender ideology, AI’s growing role in sexual temptation, and a culture-wide surge of loneliness.

If this conversation helps you rethink identity, desire, or connection, share it with a friend, subscribe for more, and leave a review with one practice you’ll try this week.  If you have any follow-up questions, we would love to hear the...

What if the loudest name over your life isn’t the truest one? Opening with Genesis and the image of God forming humans from the dust, declaring us very good before performance, accolades, or failure ever show up. From there, we take an honest look at the voices that compete for our identity—worldly success metrics, other people’s wounds, cultural comparison, and the enemy’s oldest tactic of questioning who we are. These voices don’t just echo; they shape thought patterns, build neural pathways, and quietly script the false self we end up wearing.

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