The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast

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Family estrangement can make you feel like you are doing something wrong just because it still hurts. We sit with the real question under the question: why does a boundary that protects my peace still come with grief, longing, and that strange ache for a family that never quite existed?

We talk through how common estrangement actually is, then zoom out to family systems theory and the roles that get assigned in every family. The “peacekeeper,” the “caretaker,” the “free spirit,” the one who “doesn’t need anything” can show up again in seconds...

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Some grief doesn’t come with flowers or a funeral. It shows up as a hollow space where love was supposed to live: the mothering, sisterhood, protection, mentorship, and unconditional care you kept hoping would finally arrive. If you’ve ever grieved someone who’s still alive, felt the sting of family estrangement, or wondered why “just let it go” only makes it worse, this conversation is for you.

We talk about what it means to claim your story without guilt, shame, fear, or the old roles that kept you quiet. I share ho...

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I woke up with one word on my mind: commitment. Not the tight, controlling kind that lives in color-coded plans and “try harder” speeches, but the kind that says, “I’m here. I’m paying attention. I’m willing to participate in my own life.” If you’ve been feeling the pressure of the calendar, the weight of goals, or that familiar end-of-year panic, this conversation offers a calmer, truer path.

We talk about how New Year intentions can inspire us and also quietly turn our lives into endless self-improvement projects. When you’re alwa...

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Someone can’t heal what they’re not allowed to say out loud. We sit with a simple but radical idea: sometimes the most powerful thing you can offer isn’t a solution, a reframe, or a spiritual lesson. It’s a witness. I talk about the difference between being “observed” and being truly seen, and why that kind of seeing can soften the inner distortion many of us carry around our bodies, our work, and our worth.

I share a story from years ago in China when a friend stopped me mid-spira...

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Something shifts when we stop brushing off love and actually let it in. We start with a quiet, heartfelt thank you and a moment of honoring, then move into a guided meditation designed to help you come back to yourself, especially if your energy has been scattered across people, problems, and old stories.

Together, we call your awareness back into the present moment through breath, grounding, and a protective orb-of-light visualization that supports real release. We let gravity do the work, soften the places that feel tight or heavy, and invite...

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A dream can be thrilling right up until it comes true. I’m recording the morning after I bring “Remembering You” to life, a women’s gathering that felt like an initiation and a closing of a long loop in my own spiritual journey. The room is full, the energy is real, and the day is bookended by uncanny signs a feather in the car, Fleetwood Mac on the speakers, a praying mantis on my altar. I call it a thin place, that rare moment where intuition, grief, joy, and the divine all feel clo...

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Forever is a lot to ask of yourself. Today is something you can actually hold.

We’re practicing a deceptively simple Reiki-based mantra: “just for today.” It’s a small phrase with big nervous-system benefits, especially when you’re stuck in overthinking, chasing the next version of yourself, or waiting for some future milestone to finally let you relax. We walk through the Reiki principles, just for today I will not anger, just for today I will not worry, just for today I will be grateful, just for today I will do my work...

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Your feed is full of perfect words, perfect angles, perfect advice and somehow it can leave you feeling less alive. So I take the mic outside and let real life into the recording: cars passing, birds chirping, wind moving through the trees. From that grounded place, I start asking a question that cuts through the noise: what happens when we actually step into our gifts?

We talk about gifts in the widest, most human sense not just talents you can sell, but the ways you naturally bring something to the world...

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You know that feeling when you finally sit down, and your brain whispers, “You should be doing more”? I talk about that voice, where it comes from, and why it keeps so many of us stuck in hustle culture even when we are exhausted. If you have been carrying emotional baggage, chasing goals that never feel like enough, or tying your self worth to productivity, this is a gentle but honest reset.

We get into the idea of spiritual minimalism: the belief that real growth is often subtraction, not accumulation. I shar...

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Your brain loves a clean, dramatic choice when you’re stressed: stay or go, push harder or give up, control everything or avoid it completely. That’s not always wisdom. A lot of the time, it’s a nervous system that’s convinced everything is an emergency and is hunting for certainty like it’s oxygen.

I share a very real, crunchy week where I swing between being lit up and totally tanked, and how that spiral pulls me into binary thinking around work, money, rebuilding, and “getting it right.” Then we slow it dow...

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Healing can look like a solo grind until you realize what’s missing: a witness. I’m sharing the shift that’s changing my life right now, the moment healing stops being an individual sport and becomes a celebration of remembering who you truly are. When the right people see you clearly, they don’t “fix” you. They mirror you, and that reflection becomes medicine. 

We dig into why community can feel hard, especially if you’ve learned hyper-independence or carry abandonment wounds. Then I offer a simple, powerful relationship filter I’m practicing...

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The most frustrating “why can’t I get there?” moments usually aren’t about money, timing, or luck. They’re about the quiet places we leave ourselves behind. We sit down and connect the dots between penthouse living, abundance, allowance, and the rise of the divine feminine, then land on the uncomfortable truth that changes everything: self abandonment is often the real block between you and the life you say you want.

We talk frequency as a lived identity, not a vibe you post about. Penthouse living becomes a mirror for where you...

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Feeling the ground shift under your life lately? I am too and when it hits me that way, it usually means something bigger is moving through all of us. This conversation picks up the thread of self-abandonment and takes it deeper, because “stop abandoning yourself” is not just a personal mantra. It changes how you parent, how you love, and what you allow.

I talk plainly about the divine feminine rising and I also name what it is not. It is not trendy spiritual jargon. It is not man bashing. It is n...

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The moment you stop keeping the peace at your own expense, everything changes and not in the dramatic way people assume. I’m sharing a real, ordinary argument with my husband that turned into a pivotal line in the sand: I’m no longer willing to abandon myself just to make the home feel calm. What happened next caught me off guard, because my 13-year-old daughter noticed the shift, asked what was wrong, and when I told her “nothing is wrong, and everything’s gonna be different because Mom has decided that she is no lo...

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If you’ve ever wondered why you can visualize the dream, do the affirmations, and still feel stuck, I want to offer a gentler, sharper possibility: the real block might be the quiet ways you abandon yourself. Not just in big dramatic moments, but in the everyday edits, the swallowed truth, the dream you downplay before anyone can judge it, the “I’m fine” you use to keep love stable. This is a deep dive into self-abandonment and the cost it quietly charges.

We talk about abundance mindset in a way that goe...

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If you’ve been calling yourself lazy, unmotivated, or “behind,” I want you to consider a sharper possibility: you’re not stuck because you’re broken. You’re stuck because you’re trying to force a door that was never yours to walk through. I share a personal reckoning that hits hard, the kind that makes you stop mid-thought and go, “Oh… wow.” 

We get real about inherited dreams and conditioned goals, the ones we absorb from family, friends, social media, past relationships, or pure survival mode. I talk about what it feels like to grie...

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You can want your dream life with your whole heart and still keep stopping one button short. The wild part is that it often isn’t laziness or a lack of discipline. It’s a protective story you learned long ago that says, “That kind of life is for everyone else, not for me.” 

We get real about what the Penthouse Life practice reveals when you actually do it, not just journal about it. I walk through the moment I noticed my own “Ninth Floor” pattern and the fear underneath it: who do I beco...

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You can meditate, journal, manifest, and still quietly stop one button short of the life you say you want. That’s the tension we’re naming today with a simple image that lands fast: an elevator to your “penthouse life.” If you’ve ever felt like abundance is for other people, or you catch yourself saying “I’m fine right here” even when you want more freedom, money, joy, or space, this one is going to feel uncomfortably accurate in the best way. 

I walk you through why so many of us get into the e...

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Something feels heavy lately and not in a vague way. It’s the kind of weight that sits in your chest, tugs at old memories, and makes you wonder why you’re tired when nothing “big” happened today. I’m Julie Nguyen, and I’m sharing a message that came through after a conversation with a close friend, because it put language to what so many of us are moving through right now.

I walk you through a powerful image: all of us at an airport, each on our own moving walkway, tra...

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In this episode of The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast, Julie Nguyen breaks down the real difference between gratitude and abundance — and why abundance can actually feel "sticky" once you start really tracking it. Gratitude is easy: you're grateful for your health, your family, your shoes. But abundance? That requires you to notice what's overflowing around you — the apple tree metaphor, the sourdough starter phenomenon, the abundance that's already surrounding you if you just look. Julie unpacks embodiment, frequency, and why "I am" and "I have an abundance of" statements rewire how you experience abundance dail...

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Manifestation, embodiment, and abundance aren't three separate spiritual buzzwords — they're one continuous bridge, and most people are skipping the middle step.

In this episode of [Podcast Name], we're diving deep into Theme One: Embodiment — the missing link between wanting something and actually receiving it. You'll learn why manifestation isn't about what you want to call in, but about your ability to embody the felt experience of already having it. We break down the difference between vision-boarding a desire and energetically living inside of it — in your nervous system...

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If your life feels like it's falling apart — like something died, like nothing makes sense anymore, like you don't recognize the person in the mirror — this episode is for you.

In this first episode of The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast, we break down the Hero's Journey — the ancient storytelling framework found in nearly every myth, religion, and personal transformation story — and show you why feeling "lost" isn't a sign you're broken. It's a sign you're in Act Two.

Using real personal story (leaving home at 18, b...

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The hardest part of growth isn’t always the pain, it’s the moment you realize you might be ready for more. I had a realization this week that felt equal parts liberating and annoying: I keep thinking about my estrangement from my sister, and I keep asking when it ends. When do I stop replaying it, grieving it, trying to understand it, especially when the person is still alive? Then something clicked. Maybe the problem isn’t that the thought returns. Maybe the problem is believing I can’t move forward until it never...

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You know that moment when you wake up, stare at your calendar, and think: does any of this matter? That’s where I start today, raw and a little over the grind. After years of hustling in a past career and then being forced to rebuild, I hit the kind of frustration that makes you question your gifts, your worth, and whether your creative work is actually making a difference. 

Then my guides drop the most annoying instruction: “Just be.” No fixing. No transcending. No productivity mask. We talk about why “being” fe...

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The fastest way to suffer is to treat your first interpretation as reality. I’m sharing a phrase that has genuinely changed how I move through heartbreak, feedback, uncertainty, and those moments when my mind writes a whole negative story in seconds: “the truth has 144 faces.” When I remember that, I can feel the tight grip of certainty loosen and something better take its place: curiosity.

We explore why 144 (12 times 12) points to wholeness and expansion across spiritual traditions, and I walk you through the crystal metaphor that helps me reframe almost anythi...

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You can feel it in your body when you’re performing. The tightness, the self-editing, the constant scanning for how you’re coming across. I talk about that push-pull of wanting recognition while also being terrified of being seen, because being seen means people notice your mistakes, misunderstand you, and have opinions you can’t control.

I also name the sneaky ways we try to earn visibility: “I’ll do it when I’m more polished,” “when I lose the weight,” “when I get the credential,” “when I say it perfectly.” That finish line never sto...

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Healing can turn into a loop that never ends: another thing to fix, another way to improve, another reason to feel behind. I’m sharing the moment I realized I don’t want to live there anymore, and why the next step isn’t “more healing” but remembering who I am and learning to love her again, even when she’s awkward, eager, messy, or wildly ambitious. 

We talk about the power of authentic community, the kind that actually helps you practice being seen without shame. I open up about how years of bein...

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The fastest way to change your life might be changing one sentence you keep repeating. I’m talking about the power of a reframe, not as fake positivity, but as a spiritual practice that shifts your energy, your focus, and your sense of what’s possible. When I catch myself saying “I have so much work to do” while I’m building and creating, I realize how quickly my own words can turn a dream into a burden. 

I share a real, gritty moment from my life: getting lost in building my website...

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Your past can teach you a lot, but it can also become a portal you keep reopening every time you’re scared to move forward. I’m Julie Nguyen, and I share what I’m living in real time: the moment my guides basically told me to “close the portal on your past,” and the uncomfortable truth that sometimes “I need to heal more” is just a polished version of fear. The real question isn’t what hurt you. It’s who you are now, and what it looks like to live from that place.

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Healing can save your life and still become a trap. We’ve both seen how easy it is to swap one kind of survival for another: scanning for what’s wrong, chasing the next supplement, the next diagnosis, the next nervous system technique, the next piece of trauma to uncover. When the “work” becomes your identity, it starts to quietly reinforce the belief that you’re broken. We dig into that uncomfortable turning point and the reframe that changes everything.

We also talk about the tenderness of returning home to yourself. The world...

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Four short lines can sound like a cliché until you try them when your chest is tight, your mind is spinning, and your body is still carrying the charge of what happened. We sit down with the Ho'oponopono prayer, an ancient Hawaiian healing practice, and share how “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you” becomes less about performing forgiveness and more about clearing the energy inside us. The goal is not shame. The goal is returning to love.

We talk about why spiritual tools hit in layers and why...

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Your manifestations don’t just respond to what you write down, they respond to what you’re willing to feel. We’re sharing a channeled May message with one simple theme that keeps getting repeated for a reason: love and allowance. Not as a fluffy idea, but as a grounded practice that changes how you move through your day, how you make choices, and how safe your body feels while you’re growing. 

We start by gathering scattered energy back into the present moment, building an energetic container around the body, and creat...

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A stranger looks past my head and says I “brought a lot of people” with me. Minutes later, a mystic across a tea table asks the kind of question that makes your stomach drop: Do you know who you are? Not what you do. Not what you’ve survived. Not what your gifts are. Who you are. 

I’m Julie Nguyen, and I’m sharing a dreamlike night from 2020 when I was overseas teaching dance right before the world shifted. An invitation pulls me into a quiet tea shop down a dark alley...

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Holding a beloved pet through their final breath is one of the clearest, most heartbreaking mirrors life can offer. I’m recording for the first time without my little dog Jack beside me, and I share what it was like to walk him through the dying process after 17 years together, including the tender details we rarely say out loud: the pauses, the fighting, the peace, and the moment everything goes still.

As I stayed with him, I felt a spiritual download I can’t ignore. I heard the phrase “Great Creator” and a me...

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A goodbye can be the most honest spiritual practice you’ll ever touch. I’m sitting in my living room in Colorado with the window open on a snowy May day, recording while my sweet dog Jack rests beside me at the edge of his transition. This isn’t polished, and it isn’t meant to be uplifting in a performative way. It’s grief in real time, and it’s also a love letter to what it means to stay present when everything in you wants to outrun the ending. 

Jack has been...

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If you’ve been calling it “healing” but it feels like you’re stuck in a daily scan for what’s wrong, this conversation offers a different doorway. I talk about shifting from a healing journey to a remembering journey so your growth stops feeling like self-correction and starts feeling like coming home to your real identity, your life force, and your one of one uniqueness.

We go deep into the roles we play to survive and belong: the fixer, the caretaker, the strong one, the healer, the people pleaser, the “one who hold...

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Family estrangement is a kind of grief that doesn’t fit neatly into the usual boxes. When the person you miss is still alive, still nearby, and still tangled up in your history, the sadness can feel endless and strangely invisible. I open up about my own rupture, what it cost me to leave an emotionally abusive and financially abusive relationship, and the deeper family fallout that left me feeling alone, blamed, and unmoored. 

We sit with the raw truth of missing my sister while also knowing the relationship carried unhealthy dyn...

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You are not here to become someone else. That is the heartbeat of this Spiritual Shit Show solo, where I get blunt and tender about what self-love actually is and what it is not. If you have been treating your healing like a constant self-improvement project, consider this your reset: the whole journey is learning how to love yourself, not fix yourself into a perfect, polished, “enlightened” version.

We talk about why self-love does not equal arrogance, selfishness, or being the loudest person in the room. Real love is humble. It is q...

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Your nervous system might be the real narrator of your life and if it never learned safety, it will keep writing every scene like a threat is coming. We get honest about what it feels like to live revved up all the time, how that shapes relationships and self-image, and why “doing more healing” can turn into another survival strategy instead of real relief.

I walk through the turning point that changed everything for me: realizing I wasn’t actually trying to forgive everyone else, I was trying to forgive myself. The ve...

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Your life can fall apart and still be a gift, but only after you stop trying to rebuild the same old version of you. I’m sharing the raw story behind a major rupture in my world: building a successful dance studio in my twenties, living in nonstop pressure, then being forced to walk away and losing far more than a job. When the community disappears, the identity dissolves, and the nervous system stays stuck in fight or flight, it can feel like you’re drowning even when you’re still standing. 

We...