Thot Topics

Big sista generals all across the nation, wave your flag high in the sky because it's motherfucking Veteran's Day! $6 Vodka Red Bulls all night! Ladies free before 10 PM! Shake sum ass you sexy juicy f*ggot!

It's a very patriotic week in the Thot Topics War Room as we celebrate the powerful re-libtarding of our great nation. What does the BLUENAMI mean for YOU, the young-ish homosexual at home? We're asking the really hard hitting questions.

We do a little seething & coping about a certain film for those tapped into the lore, but we also...

Well, girls, we've come full circle. If you can believe it, almost SEVEN YEARS AGO, we discussed the exact same motherfucking Slayyyter tweets on the very first episode of Thot Topics. And the solution to the situation has not changed: shut the fuck up and fuck me!

This week, the gals go deep on RACISM. Who's got it? Who wants it? And who will be its best and brightest STAR? We talk about the white suburbs, the early Internet, being a teenager, being a screenager, and the politics of dragging her and reading her. Honestly I think...

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Another entry into the Nick's Unending Misery episode canon! This week, the girls discuss yet another instance of VEHICLE DESTRUCTION and CAR PART THEFT in the totally upside-down world that we live in. Join us as we navigate the hellish labyrinth of INSURANCE, THE SURVEILLANCE STATE, THE NON-EMERGENCY HELPLINE, and countless other broken institutions you god damn BITCH!!!!

Lighter, smaller potatoes are on offer at the end though: we review the new Grimes single ACCELERANDO, the new Slayyyter track, and Cece Natalie's...

Secure your wig sis, a new episode is coming...

The world is attempting to carry out a Tinashe revolution, so naturally we needed to assess the historical situation and international implications. This week, the girls go deep on POPSTAR, the critically acclaimed new album from a longtime enemy of the pod, and we attempt to process the information with open minds and hearts. Anyone can cook, but what about a bitch who has tested us time and time again? The truth reveals itself.

But that's not all: MALE BISEXUALITY and why hetero women refuse to...

It's Rose Bean Polanksy Monday, put your Rose Bean Polanskys in the sky!

We are back as fuck baby!! This week, the girls conquer the question on everyone's mind, reporting live from the People's Republic of Macklemoreistan: should Ed Sheeran be KILLED for his crimes against humanity? We are prepared to issue judgement. Send in the executioner hunni!

But that is not all: we test our knowledge of the human population and their Spotify listening habits, and psychoanalyze the listeners of the top 5 most streamed artists in the world right now. Plus, a girly little...

PATRONS ONLY!! Subscribe for full access at patreon.com/thottopics.

Welcome to the Thot Topics Radical Self-Love Hour, brought to you by Tampax Pearl. I just shoved the talking stick up my pussy! {BOMB DETONATES} Bring your spirit and buss it open because we're plunging deep!

We do a little bit of everyone's FAVORITE topic: the neverending war on our personal VICES. When the going gets fat and nathty, what's a heffa to do? We discuss WATCHED-OVER POTS, MISSING ROTH IRA DAY AT SCHOOL, and so much more. I'm sure some people are going to...

**PATRONS ONLY** Full ep available at patreon.com/thottopics! Just like EVERY fucking WEEK!

Alternate title: Music, F*ggots, Film..... We are BACK! And All-Star rules are in full effect... ladies get ready to cut loose & let the truth fly!

This week is all about the vicious spread of BODY HORROR across America this week, all the blood and bones and slices and dices hunni. There's obviously much to be discussed. First, we give our two cents on MUSIC FASHION FILM, the new Charli XCX album that has unfortunately NOT grown on us with time...<...

Welcome to Madonnald's, Will You Be Using Your Mobile App Today?

Call it podcasting... call it Internet Radio... call it love without words! Put your listening ears and your dancing shoes on because it's time to CONFESS! This week, we are talking about MADONNA and CONFESSIONS 2 and the meteoric rise of Old Ho Summer. Get into the groove baby.

But that's not all: this episode really got away from us somewhere along the way and it goes in so many different and upsetting directions... getting into an altercation with a cyclist... anxiety management tactics and...

Previously only for patrons! One of my favorite eps of ours in a while... PLEASE enjoy and PLEASE subscribe on Patreon you dumb-dumb!! Join now for a bonus episode every week, and a paywalled ep every other week! PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS

Sniff you love someone... let them go...

Welcome BACK to the Thot Topics Sex Positivity Labs, where it's NOT illegal to be supa gay and whorney! Grab a beaker and assume the position: this is going to be a highly experimental treatment...

In another classic episode dedicated to the art & science of...

And now, we'll hear a few rousing words from our Breast Man...

WE ARE SO BACK! Welcome to deeeeluxe hour of Thot Topics excellence brought to you by Aubrey Graham of Toronto, Canada. There's so much to discuss, so whatcha waitin' for?

This week, we discuss DRAKE DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, and issue our highly valued gay male opinion on RAP MUSIC. Maid of Honour and the other ones... so many thoughts to be shared. Plus, Nick recaps his ICELANDIC ADVENTURE and issues a state of the union address regarding his thoughts on America after a time...

IT'S WUR$T GIRL WEEK! PUTCHA DRINKS UP!!! LADIES, WHO ON THEY PERIOD!?!

It's a big week for us in the Thot Topics Universe-- a new SLAYYYTER album is finally upon us and we go as deep as humanly possible on all 14 tracks. Hold on to your it because it's about to be cranked!

But that's certainly not all: a little bit of girly chitchat is in order regarding WEDDINGS, TAILORING, and THE GREATEST TWEETS OF ALL TIME. We hope you left room for dessert mama because we've got seconds in the oven!

...

Why it gotta be ARABesque girl!?!

We're back and our form on the barre is than ever. Are you ready to kornbread jete onto center stage for a tasty weekend of Thot Topicking? There's SO MUCH on our minds this week...

First, Nick has a few thoughts on his mind regarding THE VENMO/CASHAPP/ZELLE RACIAL DIVIDE and whether it's appropriate to bring your Nintendo Switch to work. We do a little bit of Critical Race Theory and a little bit of DEI while we're at it. But naturally there's more...

In the...

The chile in me sees the chile in you... now, together, we can finally heal...

Whether your daddy's in jail raising hell or your sister's on the corner selling something for sale, we've got something for YOU on this riveting episode of Thot Topics Podcast. But what's on the menu? I'm so very glad you asked...

This week, we talk about THE ART OF FUJOING OUT: what makes gay guy sex so fun to straight women? Are the gay guys in the minds of the slash fiction enjoyer even gay guys? WHO CARES? Today, we...

Bunny is a Rider? I thought he was Puerto Rican...

FUCK! It's a Sunday... thankfully we've got a big beautiful brand new episode for precious little Thot Topics listeners all over the globe. It's coming right up so you better get this party started!

First, we issue formal comment on Nick getting dragged within an inch of his life on Twitter by people who really enjoy the work of auteur filmmaker "Markiplier." We review IRON LUNG in earnest, and revisit CUTIES... the movie that makes you a pedophile!

But that's not all: we...

WALK A MILE IN OUR LOUBOUTINS... JOIN THE PATREON TODAY FOR A WEEKLY BONUS EPISODE AND BIWEEKLY PREMIUM EPS! ONLY 5 BUCKS YOUNG HO!

When the pawg hits the conflicts he feels like a king. What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight and he'll win the whole thing...

HAPPY JANTEENTH! Gather around the fireplace our little nieces and nephews because it's time for a story about a little black girl from the Brewster projects of Detroit, Michigan. This week, white girl rap is on the brain: we unpack SUNSHINE BENZI and...

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO THOTS AROUND THE WORLD! In our final episode of 2025. we open up the Thotline to our precious listeners to hear their pressing questions as 2020-SEX looms large over us all. Gays and women and the others who love them loose their lips (both sets!) to let their voices be heard.

But that's not all: we also issue our formal prognosis for the new year-- the year of the WHORSE! What's to come in the New Year? Horsing around? Laboring hard in the fields of life? Advanced, complex nail care? We gaze into our...

CALL THE NEW YEARS' THOTLINE NOW! LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL AT ‪(773) 242-7242‬, or EMAIL US AT [email protected]. DEADLINE IS DECEMBER 15. 

Puck this ass Hollander! Puck it!

It's a winter wonderland in the Thot Topics studio and we are in the spirit of giving: CUNT, that is! There's so much to get into, and there's no time like the PRESENT... LOOOL

First, we review the gay hockey program that is licking and sucking and fondling the nation: HEATED RIVALRY. Why are the guys not even hot? Why did they bother with the hocke...

{Rina Sawayama voice} Um, do you want to explain why you think that's funny? Seriously, we'll all wait. I'd love to hear what you think is so funny about that. No just explain the joke. Like what's so funny?

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY TO LISTEN TO THOT TOPICS!!! Wouldn't you agree? Whatever your answer is we're coming to ratatat on those little eardrums one way or another you dirty, dirty girl! This week, the girls unpack the etymology of "TREATLER" and attempt to self-diagnose. We are medical professionals after all. But then it's down to biz!

Wait, PTA stands for Paul Thomas Anderson? I thought it stood for Pits Tits and Ass. A lot of things are coming together for me now

Anyway we are INDEED back again for another riveting episode of THOT TOPICS! This week, the girls stare down the barrel of their 28th birthday and ponder what that year is supposed to be all about. YAY another episode about our problematic relationship with our tight little bodies!! But then it's down to business.

We watch the trailer for Rachel Sennott's zillennial voice-of-a-generation show I LOVE LA and make...

Find the moo girl! Find the moo!

It may be Minoxidil Monday now, but this transmission was recorded on a beautiful Gay Guy Friday which rolled leisurely into the wee hours of Straight Guy Saturday. It's nice to look back on previous moments of pleasure and joy, ain't it?

This week, the girls play a riveting round of TRUTH OR DRINK, devising the structure of the P.N.O. (Perfect Night Out), pondering their most expensive mistakes, and recounting fashion disasters of yesteryear.

But not before a review of AM I THE DRAMA...

Who up bipping they burger? Who need they burger bipped?

WELCOME to another beautiful, breezy, cool and calm Thot Topics Autumn. The air conditioner is off, the vibes are on, and untold cuntyliciousness lies just beyond the play button... The ideas discussed this week are so compelling and so unique that we're honestly jealous of you that you get to listen.

This week, the girls discuss the evil spirit lurking inside of JORDAN FIRSTMAN, speculate on the lives of some other famous gays, and brace ourselves for the upcoming Rachel Sennott show which appears to...

It's! Some! It's! Some! Podcasters up in here! Welcome to my stratosphere!

After a much-needed sabbatical, the girls are back to give it to you raw, fresh, hot, and ready. By the power of your patience, the world cooked up some tasty drama for us to discuss with our whole, ample chests!

First, we discuss the untapped power of MONDAY NIGHTS and the trap of THIRSTY THURSDAYS. Then, we get down to business: the looming threat of THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL and what Taylor Swift has up her sleeve to punish us with next...

Little girl... your miniature therapy horses have arrived to wake you from your anesthesia... wake uppppp!

WE ARE BEYONDDD BACK! The Thot Topics Studio is hot with the flames of literacy as we debrief on Nick finishing a draft of His Novel and other matters of girly importance. But the grind never stops in our world, sweetheart...

We take our sweet ass time to discuss Sydney Sweeney's white supremacist jeans/genes, and unpack whatever's going on with the Tea app and straight people in general. Who's gonna step up and FIX this mess girl!?! We're...

What I did, or what I do? That is the question. Whether tis nobler to know what you are talmbout, or to take arms against a sea of knowing you were hella wrong for what you did...

Happy birthday America! Hold on to the feather in your cap and you betta call that thing macaroni because the real patriots have finally arrived. THIS WEEK, Nick undergoes an endurance test, zooming through a list of TikTok phenomena that Cris suspects Nick has never heard of.

But that's not all: a discussion on lite beer, boats, the...

PARENTS BEWARE! Teens are communicating secret messages via text message through acronyms you may not be aware of. Stay informed! PTB = Pump The Beat. PBP = Period Bitch, Period. PP = Pink Pantheress

Thank you for tuning in for a very special Pride Month Thotline! This time, we've accepted questions that made us gay (as in happy) from our cherished audience of homosexuals and women. We breach brand new territory this time: how to deal with freeloaders, how to stay sane with a work from home job, and yes... we take a monogamy question.

Follow the girls...

Ladies I gotta be honest this one was a fight to the finish line even off a couple cawktails... but we do it for YOU: the people.

Where to even begin? Nothing happened to anyone on the entire planet this week so we decided to do what dreamers do best: look n word. *INWARD. Sorry, INWARD... Anyway, we pose the question that's been weighing heavy on our spirit and even heavier on our breasts: how many drinks do you consider to be a lot of drinks? What's the REAL tea when it comes to managing the party...

Why it gotta be Black Dandy? HA! Oh... oh, because it's called that? Because it's about black guys who like fashion? Huh... alright. Can I get you another cocktail sir?

WELCOME back to the Thot Topics red carpet coverage zone sponsored by E! News. This week, we review the many special outfits at the 2025 Met Gala and uh... we've seen better! Follow along with us with the Vogue list.

There's certainly more where that came from though hunny. Take a seat because this is gonna be a rough one...

Follow the girls on...

You've heard of kissing cousins... now get ready for dick-sucking cousins!

No one ever said podcasting would be easy-- luckily, we are more than up to the task, even in sweltering fucking HOT 70 degree weather in our beautiful city, baby. Let's get down to business!

First, we check in on the inaugural round of the THOT TOPICS MUSIC LEAGUE (Join here!), shouting out our favorites and... others.... THEN, we discuss the reveal of the debut FKA Addison Rae album. But gosh darnit, you know that's not all.

We discuss Kanye sucking his cousin's...

Spotify is trying to punish us for being too beautiful and talented for their platform, so join us on PATREON!

For $5/month, you get TWO episodes every single freaking week, including this: ON SECOND THOT, our aftershow where we are allowed to get a lil more personal wit it. We'll keep attempting to upload to the free feed in the meantime, but guarantee xxxclusive access below...

Don't wait, join the sisterhood NOW: patreon.com/thottopics

Piper? How'd she get THAT name...

WELCOME... 2 OUR ISLAND! Thot TOPICS Island. Pon de beach, the girls take a vacation from cognitive functioning and basic logic skills: just for you. Lotion up sisters because surf is motherfucking UP!

This week, we discuss the finale of THE WHITE LOTUS-- the who, the what, the where, and most of all the WHY? Speak no evil girl... I better not hear no evil... THEN, we run out of things to talk about so we have a classic Womens' Business Seminar, covering all sorts of subjects: Pink Pony Club...

Happy birthday Irish people! Welcome to the St. Patrick's Day celebration brought to you by Thot Topics. Recorded in the moments before disaster, the girls center themselves with a vital discussion on LA MUSICA de Lady Gaga, Chappell Roan, and so much mas.

But that's not all-- we uncork The Poppers Question and get to sniffin'. Do poppers deserve to be banned? Are they lowkey safe and totally fine? We do some investigative reporting at the scene of the crime: DOUBLE SCORPIO, Incorporated...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official po...

You already know what time it is... Screamin' for me baby!!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.

Try Magic Mind's brand new mental performance GUMMIES! 25% off for Thot Topics sisters at magicmind.com/NICKGM using promo code NICKGM.

Chudai give up... or chudai just keep chasin' pavements...

Welcome back to the Thot Topics Center for Controlling It, where this week we'll be working hard in the lab to bring America the truth and nothing BUT the truth. Check it! This week, we answer a few of our patrons' most pressing questions, but not before we address some quandaries of our own.

How do reservations work? (Reservoir?) Do any beauty products actually work? Should McDonald's go fully automatic? MANY issues are settled for good.

TRY MAGIC MIND! GO TO MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20 A...

Calling all abracadivas and abracadabroids: Thot Topics School for Girls is back in session. Abra ooh na na!

First of all, you dirty BITCH: we review the Grammys from head to toe and we have some constructive feedback. From BRAT to the other stuff, we go deep and dirty. THEN, little girl: we review the new Lady Gargar single ABRACADABRA and read the tea leaves for Miz Germanotta.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Abracado it to it on Patreon.

TRY MAGIC MIND WI...

Have you paid your dues? The beat shan't be pumped until every member has paid their dues...

We're back in the studio all by our lonesome, and I'm sorry to say it, but we are breaking our no-politics promise... not because we feel especially motivated but because we had no other ideas.

This week, the girls discuss the second Trump inaugie, banning pride flags on government buildings, the TikTok blackout, and MORE! We can't WAIT for the peanut gallery to chime in on this bad boy...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @Y...

Not my best work in this episode title but I'm tired man

We're twenty-twenty-LIVE in the booth in the new year baby!! We hope your resolution wasn't to stop listening to the erotic audio stylings of Thot Topics because we're about to make it THAT much harder!

This week, we take calls and emails from our precious homosexual listeners to solve mental problems that have never been addressed by the medical community at large. What should you do if a guy is afraid of touching spit? Which of us would win in a fight? Do...

The girls set up shop at a karaoke bar to properly enjoy their top musical moments of 2024, and to celebrate 200 episodes of sisterhood and divadom.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Recoup our yogurt soju fund on Patreon.

This isn't really a Christmas episode because we recorded it like, over a week ago-- but Merry Christmas to you and yours all the same...

You've heard of a one horse open sleigh... now get ready for TWO whore's open slay. That's right, we ain't hidin' it! This week, after a lovely girly catchup chat, we assess the BILLBOARD TOP 25 POPSTARS OF THE 21ST CENTURY list. We get a little heated about some of the inclusions, which is just perfect for this brisk holiday afternoon...

TRY MAGIC MIND! 20% off your first order, or 51% off your f...

FULL EPISODE BEYOND THA PAYWALL AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS. $5/MONTH FOR A BONUS EPISODE EVERY SINGLE WEEK, AND PREMIUM EPS EVERY OTHER WEEK!

Flopular... you're gonna be flopyouular...

Welcome back to the Thot Topics glistening wintertime palace of holiday delights. This week, the girls are setting the table for a fancy feast of cunty proportions-- we hope you brought a bib, sis!

After a little bit of good old fashioned GIRL TIME, we give our review of WICKED-- the good, the bad, the tragic and the beautiful. Then, we uncork some other pressing...

Sabrina Carpenter? I barely know her!! HA!

Welcome back to the Thot Topics Twisted Labyrinth where nothing is quite as it seems... if you're feeling turkeylicious this season, have we got the episode for you!

This week, the girls catch up after a week apart: Cris delivers a field report from the mean streets of BAMF, Canada and Nick grapples with the everyday struggles of motherhood.

Then, it's down to business: we discuss Sabrina Carpenter pantomiming blowjays on stage and whether it's good for pop stars to get horny. Plus, we talk about...