Figuring Sh!t Out

plot twist: jesus.

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This episode is a confession, an homage to honesty, a bid of vulnerability on a deeply personal shift happening in my life that I've let through a couple of episodes but I haven't unearthed fully because -

Well,

I've been believing lies that have kept me scared and stuck.

Yes, even (ESPECIALLY) Miss.FiguringSh!tOutYapsALotPodcastHost has fear and doubt that chokes her up.

In this episode, I share what it’s like to find yourself standing between two voices:

The voice of fear and the voice of truth.

...

and how much of ourselves have we lost deciding that how we are, as we are, is not enough?

how much of our very nature has been stripped away, chipped away, from the gnawing need to be complete?

complete by what measure, by what degree?

by whose decree?

where did we learn that if it wasn’t done perfectly, then it shouldn’t be done at all?

that 0% until we can miraculously have 100% is better than 1% every day?

what freezes within us that causes us to choke at t...

The difference between your strongest desire and your deepest desire might just be what you're not seeing.

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for anyone who feels like they're behind:

a path is formed by walking

a path is formed by walking

a path

is formed

by

walking.

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"If no one sees your art, it is still revolution. You freed yourself, did you not?" - Jayla John 

In this episode, we talk about how creativity could heal you - if you just let it. 

And how to let it. 

And if you need a little more help, 

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let your tenderness speak, let it lead you into darkness, and let your darkness lead you into light.

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My darling, I have news for you. 

You are here to feel safe enough, trusting enough - to pause, land, and unravel your very existence at the feet of something loving.

And if you are, (like too many of us are) living a frantic, disordered life, one that feels like you’re chasing a plot that never comes -

If you are clogging your heart with unwarranted worries -

If you are unknowingly caught in the hamster wheel of more, more, more -

Stop right there.

Have you...

How to hear the call of your divine assignment & listening to your Sacred Marching Orders - beyond what the inner critic has to say.

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This episode is your reminder that there is a future version of you who is thanking you deeply for doing it scared.

This episode is proof that the first step is always the courage to admit.

This episode is proof that you WILL figure it out, even if you have no f*cking clue how.

How do I know?

Three years ago, I started this show in my bedroom while working full time in Corporate America.

Two years ago, the night before I ran my first marathon, I recorded...

"I believe that your highest path lives in the hands of a greater knowing. 

And the cure to all of your anxieties lies in that subtle desire to reach for these hands when you know you need them most. 

But what if I told you - that you actually need them all the time? And that they’ve been silently guiding your steps - here, in this moment, to receive these words, so that you can see that you are being given help, direction, grace, guidance - if you just ask for it.

So m...

This episode is being posted live from a jungle in Costa Rica two days after hosting my first retreat. 15 women expressing their most true selves, accessing their inner child, creating art from the depths of their hearts - all because I had an idea for a podcast almost three years ago and decided to act on it.

If that's not evidence that your ideas are blessings that must be honored, respected, and listened to - I don't know what is.

In this episode, we talk about the divine workings inside of the creative process...

Creativity & self-expression is how you heal.

This episode is about excavating your creativity - using your life and experiences as a devoted practice to the creative process and your art as an offering and symbol of your resilience.

And on the other side - a powerful, potent, peaceful you emerges.

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Who told us that we were not supposed to hurt - when to feel is our greatest gift? 

Who told us that we could have ease - without a little grit?

This episode takes you on a journey discussing The Purification Process of the Dark Night of the Soul & the GIFT of enduring the transformation within it.

(Spoiler: You Can Do Hard Things & in fact, you were made to.)

After all, the darkest hour is right before dawn.

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Honest admittance: I'm a little scared to publish this episode.

But what would Figuring Sh!t Out be if it wasn't a testament to overcoming fear, time and time again, by getting as deeply honest as possible and sharing truths from this raw and reflective place?

This is Figuring Sh!t Out - in real time.

This episode is an existential conversation about God, Existence, and using our critical thinking and discernment when approaching spirituality. (From a girl who has not, up until recently, used a lot of discernment when approaching spirituality.)

There's your potential - and then there's the power that you DECIDE to have to embody it.

And it is a decision.

One you must make every day.

This episode is a short tough-love transmission reminding you of your limitlessness, your inevitability, the power of your deepest truth when it is aligned in the actions of your highest path, and serves as a first-step to what you know you're ready to move towards.

Let this be your reminder: you cannot change what you do not accept.

& Let this be...

here are my fieldnotes from learning to fall in love with uncertainty again and again and again instead of resist and fear it:

A conversation about girlhood and growing older, embracing the vessel and the life of the body, and embodying the wisdom of life through the preciousness of it's fragility.

With my dearest friend, Phia.

May this episode allow you to see life through the eyes of your inner elder.

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to remain tender is a gift.

this episode is an exploration of everything i've learned about love.

put simply:

"we have all known the bliss of sunshine hitting our skin on a cold day, and we have all belly laughed until our breaths disappeared, and we have all come home chewed up by the world and sunken deep into a familiar withering, and we are all either healing from something or learning how to hold it, running from something or learning how to return - because we have all loved and we have...

If the devil can't get to you, he will make you rush.

"We think our limits live in the dreams we don’t chase, in the tasks we put off, in the emotions that we avoid - but they’re most alive in all of the small ways we deny our right to enjoy life.

In the ferocious hurry between movements, in the relentless devotion to our False God of Control that promises certainty we never actually find.

We yearn for love, but refuse to let life touch us. 

Even when it’s...

I recorded this for the woman whose thought about joining this retreat but told herself it wasn't possible. This episode a full, honest walkthrough of why this retreat exists, what it's grounded in, who it's for, and what we will be creating in the jungle together.

There are five days left to join us and a few spots still open.

BOOKING CLOSES ON 1/31. RETREAT IS MARCH 22-27TH.

"I learned how to reach for my dreams with a shaky hand. And time and time again, I’ve seen that once they are in my palms - it makes no difference if I really believe they should be there or not. Because here they are. In my hands. I cannot drop them. I have claimed them. They are a gift and yet - they have always been mine."

- an excerpt from my most recent essay "Dreams" (which I read to you in this episode

We won’t ever say it aloud - but most of us hold an ideal of perfection inside of our self-development routines.

And after spending enough time nipping and tucking away pieces of ourselves that we don't like in an effort to curate the most acceptable, palatable, "perfect" version of us - what many of us will find is this:

We are only as whole as we are able to accept the parts of us that don’t make us feel like it. 

We are only as healed as we are able to hold...

"We are mosaics. Pieces of light, love, history, stars. Glued together with magic and music and words." - Anna Kritzen

There’s a quiet grief that lives inside a lot of people.

Because we’ve learned how to contain ourselves.

Creativity was once somewhere we all went to feel alive, and became something we use to prove who we are. 

We learn to identify with a medium, a label, an aesthetic, a version of ourselves to be understood, admired, approved of. And without realizing it - these identities shrink us. 

This...

This episode is not what you think it is. 

It is not a hustle-forward, all-gas-no-breaks charge to a new year. 

But it is also not a total rejection of the new year.

It is a subtle and soft invitation into moving forward with reflection, ritual, and intention. 

Through redefining and examining our relationship with "locking in," or what we turn out focus towards, we can refine our communion with newness in a way that feels true to us.

This episode offers a three-phase process to entering - might we eve...

"Allow shame to find no home in your posture, in your dances, in your aura, in your lovemaking sounds, in your dreaming spaces, in your every single desire," - India Ame'ye

This episode is an exploration of releasing shame, guilt, and fear from our bodies and rekindling our inner magic.

Through poetry, storytelling, and recommended practices of somatic wisdom and inner reflection, this episode of creates conversation around what it means to let the soft animal of your body love what it love and wants what it wants.

Most saliently, it asks a...

Growing wiser into the ancient knowledge of our spirit and the animalistic nature of our humanity demands the realization that many things our society looks at as luxuries are actually necessities. 

One of them: rest.

As a society, we have a complicated relationship with rest. An anxious-avoidant one where we long for it, but don't want to get too comfortable in it. We crave it, yet we fear leaning into it.

In this Winter Solstice episode, we lean into a discussion about restoring balance in our natural rhythms and cycles through embracing rest a...

a reminder that it's as easy as a deep breath

and seeing that it has always been okay.

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If you love FSO & this episode, leave a comment!! Tell me what resonated, share what you want to hear next

This episode is about remembering that your purpose was never meant to look like anyone else’s - and releasing the comparison that’s been convincing you you’re behind.

I believe that we all have a gift. I believe that we all have a purpose. I believe that it is buried within the places we don’t want to look. It is entangled in the masterpieces of destruction, it is the diamond in the roughest moments of life, it is forged in the fire of standing tall as you face yourself - no longer running away. 

But...

Saying yes to yourself is an unraveling process of becoming closer and closer to the gift of uncertainty and confronting the fear that holds you hostage in order to receive it.

In this episode, I share reflections of my journey in the last year saying the biggest, boldest yes I ever have: leaving my 9-5 last year to pursue building a business out of this podcast full time.

This episode was recorded from an adobe home in Santa Fe, New Mexico gifted by Two Casitas (explore their homes here!!). I found myself here to meet...

you can’t create a life you love while starving the part of you that was born to create it.

chapter three of The Perfectionist Diaries is an ode to the Good Idea Fairy - this childlike, intuitive, enchanted part of you that I created to represent the little voice that drops breadcrumbs, whispers nudges, and hands you ideas that could change your entire life (if you'd just listen!!)

this episode is about repairing that relationship:

letting your creativity breathe again,

acting without needing certainty,

learning the sacred art of...

Creation requires both the fire and the flow.

In Chapter Two of The Perfectionist Diaries, we explore the cosmic dance between masculine and feminine energy: the part of you that initiates, and the part of you that softens and refines.

This episode is a gentle excavation of the shadows beneath perfectionism: the fear of being perceived, the fear of shining too brightly, the ways we reject our own wholeness.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to start before you feel ready, hold yourself through imperfection, and create from your deepest truth.

...

Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it. 

Waiting until you're fearless will keep you stuck in perfectionism forever. 

And fear cannot live in a moving body. 

So, 

Move. 

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The Perfectionist Diaries is a mini-series on Figuring Sh!t Out about breaking free from habitual perfectionism and learning to create through fear.

This first chapter explores divine timing, creative resistance, and why waiting to feel “ready” is the biggest trap of all.

On this episode, we cover:

Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it. 

Waiting until you're fearless will keep you stuck in perfectionism forever. 

And fear cannot live in a moving body. 

So, 

Move. 

-

The Perfectionist Diaries is a mini-series on Figuring Sh!t Out about breaking free from habitual perfectionism and learning to create through fear.

This first chapter explores divine timing, creative resistance, and why waiting to feel “ready” is the biggest trap of all.

On this episode, we cover:

Decision is the bridge between your current reality and your highest potential. It is the pathway from survival to creation, from fear to embodiment, and from wishing to CHOOSING. 

Because maybe you're not stuck - maybe you're just.. undecided. 

And maybe, without realizing it, your lack of decision has already become one: the choice to stay disconnected, half-alive, half-in.

This episode is a wake-up call. 

A reclamation of your creative power through the art of choosing. 

We explore how fear, numbness, and ambivalence keep us suspended between worlds, and how...

I don't know about you - but cynicism has never brought me more life. Judgement towards myself or others has never given me more purpose. Feeding resistance and resentment has never watered the seeds of my growth.

Contrary to popular belief - joy is not naive. It is imperative. And this radical, yet simple decision to take the unserious seriously is what enables us to let go a little deeper into the necessary whimsy of life that makes it worth living.

This week, we explore why learning to feel, experience, and hold a state of...

This week, we explore the tender space between solitude and connection, moving deeper into the theme of unapologetic self-expression (especially for those of us who learned to hide in self-protection.)

For those of us who have long identified as "introverts," I ask you a very important question: are you ACTUALLY an introvert? Or do you just have social anxiety and are you scared to be seen?

On today's episode, we explore the spectrum of introversion / extroversion as it relates to the safety to be seen and explore the truth behind these labels, social anxiety, and...

Many of us have come to know our true selves and what alignment feels like to *some* extend, but how do you ~stay~ aligned, even when life isn't? Even when your environment.. isn't?

This episode is all about staying rooted in love, alignment, and authenticity - no matter what’s happening around you. We explore the continuum of contrast, the wound of rejection, and the habit of people-pleasing that pulls us out of ourselves and keep us small - especially when faced with people who project, misunderstand, or drain our energy..

Because here’s the trut...

On this episode, we’re breaking down the real mechanics of manifestation and demystifying the heavily marketed *woo-woo* behind it.

(....Coming from a girl who loves and firmly embraces the woo-woo.)

Spirituality and science are finally beginning to speak the same language, and on this episode, we’re translating both. 

This is a deep-dive into the inner physics of creation: how emotion shapes matter, how the heart bends time, and how the future already lives inside of you.

We dive into the fundamental power within all of us to access emotional alche...

Season 4 opens with an invitation: to break subconscious contracts, to honor the duality of being and becoming, and to claim the inevitability of who you already are, embracing the fullness of your dreams with bravery and commitment.

This episode walks you through the arc of survival, fear, and limitation - into freedom, expression, and truth. It maps the narrative arc of survival into self-expression, exploring the psychology of subconscious contracts and the practice of choosing your own inevitability over fear. 

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