Connected Divergents

A little mini-monologue on why I'm not worried if I REALLY have OCD (or ADHD, or Autism) or not, + the tools and resources that have been helpful for me so far at the beginning of my journey! I recommend checking out NeurodivergentInsights.com blog articles from Megan Neff on OCD vs AuDHD etc. I've noticed that my OCD thoughts tend to have a three-part structure that makes them easy to identify—sharing about this too! Thanks for listening! 

*FOUR* different types of to do lists: Sequenced Lists, Brain Dump, Menu of Options, & the 'Done' List — and how to use them to support your executive functioning beyond the traditional 'to-do' (especially if to-do lists can get overwhelming or are unhelpful for you!) 

Sharing what I've noticed about how certain neurodiversity-affirming approaches can be *incredibly* supportive and accommodating for ADHD and autistic needs, while having the complete opposite effect where OCD is involved. Strategies that helped me so much before with demand avoidance and overwhelm totally backfired once my OCD flared up, and actually made things a lot worse. Unpacking all of that and more in this week's ep! 

**Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and the contents of this episode are not medical advice. I am not an expert on OCD, and I am not a...

Why celebrating our wins is SOOOO underrated, and the importance of noticing and witnessing change, radical acceptance of who and where we are (and pride for the journey we've been through!) ANDD, making space for conflicting experiences. All in this episode!  

Documenting the beginning of my journey: exploring a potential OCD diagnosis.

Joyful movement life update—I've been running for the last few months and I am LOVING IT. Modern shoe foams are stim toys for your feet, don't @ me. I'm also beginning to generate experiments for my creative burnout—is my brain tired because my *body* is tired from the last 6 months of high volume lifting? Do I need to take a break from stimulant medication, or days off, or get off completely? PLUS a framework for "physical therapy for your brain" for creative burnout recovery (the idea I shared at the end of last week's episode): how I created it...

Did I make a huge mistake by starting EMDR therapy? Or will it be worth it, if I can just keep going? Life update

Support frameworks and mindsets I'm using to come back to the things I want and love to do after my PTSD/burnout in January :) 

In this week's episode I talk about why traveling has been hard for me with my AuDHD, some past experiences I've had on trips (needing sometimes a full month to recover!), and how I approached my trip this past weekend as an experiment to explore a few questions: 

1. Do I have an easier time coming home if I am not the one who has to drive?
2. Do I have an easier time coming home if the primary objective of the trip is to rest and relax?
3. Do I have an easier time coming home if I...

Rooting into care, building safety, creating positive emotional experiences, leaning into transition time, and getting curious about the wisdom of our resistance. All so we can pull away from the cycles of avoidance, to adrenaline-and-deadline-fueled push, to crash and burnout, only for that cycle to repeat. Avoidance is asking to be met with support and care, and not to push ourselves harder until we feel like breaking.

So excited to share this episode this week!! Today we're talking about how to use the scientific method as a framework to better understand your ADHD brain and your needs! This is how we can conduct experiments, try new things, and implement changes to gather lived-experience data on what *actually* works for us, what *actually* helps us. And the best part—with experimenting, there's no failure. Only data! Every experiment is an opportunity to learn more about how your brain works, and we get to integrate and re-iterate on experiments by using that information. This means that even if an...

It's New Year's Day and I AM TIRED, FAM. I really wanted to share this idea & framework I'm so excited about on experimental frameworks & using the scientific method to better understand your brain & your needs, but I hit a wall in the middle of this episode, which was already a capacity-aligned pivot from that—and I realized I need to end this recording early to go take care of myself. This episode is my own documentation of the win of making a visit, giving myself the chance to see how I felt recording, and realizing from that lived-experience data th...

Sharing in this episode about how I'm coming back to center after a season of travel & routine disruptions, and how I'm noticing ADHD medication is changing my creative process—a lot of grief here for me at the change, but I'm trying some new experiments to see if there are other systems and supports I need to help me with my creativity on meds!

This episode is about the experience of Demand Avoidance + how it connects not only to our experience of autonomy-loss, but ALSO our experience of uncertainty—not just that we don't want to do the thing, but that we actually don't yet know how.

In this episode, I share about the differences between demand avoidance and procrastination, and how the understanding of autonomy needs strengthens our resources for support. I'm then breaking down how overwhelm, uncertainty, and lack of clarity can influence the experience of demand avoidance, and how understanding this can bring create even more options for su...

Quick Vyvanse ADHD med update from me on this episode, and then jumping into the main topic for today: Nervous System Regulation vs Nervous System Capacity Building, where capacity building can be more effective than regulation, and how I've applied this concept to paying off my post-Hurricane Helene credit card debt. 

**THIS EPISODE IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE!!** I'm only sharing my personal experiences and reflections! Talk to your doctor!

In this episode I share about what I noticed on 20, 30, and 40mg of Vyvanse, and what I'm looking for to know when I've found the 'right' dose of Vyvanse for me (hopefully!) 

I needed to step away from the ADHD Writer’s Summit. In this episode I share about what led me to this decision: the wall I hit around capacity, unstable meds, reflection in therapy. I'm unpacking the guilt of saying no, and how I’m learning to see these moments as reparenting and care instead of spiraling into shame. If you’ve ever wondered whether your ‘self-sabotage’ is really just your neurodivergent support needs showing up, this one’s for you.

**DISCLAIMER** This is not medical advice! Please talk to a doctor before making any important medical decisions that would affect your health!! Repeat: This is not medical advice! 

Sharing my own personal experiences on Vyvanse so far, comparing to my experience with Adderall XR (the only other ADHD med I've tried), and how I am evaluating my executive functioning & symptoms as the week has gone on.

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not medical advice!! I'm only sharing my personal thoughts and experiences.

Link to work with me 1:1 in coaching!

Writer's Summit October 10-12

This episode is a case study on a 'big scary project' where I've been feeling a lot of overwhelm, fear, demands, and perfectionism. In it, I'm sharing with you how I process through the emotions that come with big projects like this one (shame, overwhelm, avoidance, shutdowns, meltdowns). This is an exploration on what supporting myself through it looks like, how I sniff out autonomy where I can find it, and how I'm doing things differently vs when I was younger and used adrenaline, cortisol, and fear of humiliation to get things done...

WE ARE BACK IN THE HOUSE!!! This feels like a whole new chapter of the Connected Divergents pod, and certainly of my life!

Excited to chat with you about what it's been feeling like being back, and a discovery I made about how I experience 'routines' with my autism: not linked to time or sequences, but physical space & visual cues! Hope you enjoy

Visit my Substack. Wanted to hop on and share this in real-time—today, I'm going through a *RUMINATION SPIRAL* on my day off! Related to not very fun hotel and insurance and post-hurricane things. I'm catching myself feeling like, if I could just 'close the loop', get to the end, and fix it—then, I won't have to feel this way anymore. I'm also feeling like, "I must be bad. I must have done something wrong. If I hadn't done anything wrong, then this wouldn't have happened." It's bringing me back to feeling like a little kid—scared and worrie...

In this episode, I read a personal essay about growing up as an undiagnosed PDA-profile autistic child. It’s a story about control, shame, and the misunderstood ways resistance shows up in kids who are fighting for autonomy. I talk about meltdowns, self-harm, emotional neglect, and the long path toward healing and self-trust.

This is about what happens when you bury parts of yourself to survive... and what it looks like to slowly bring them home.

Content note: This episode includes reflections on childhood trauma, spanking, emotional neglect, self-harm, and depression. Please listen with care.

The start of this episode features Biscuit's purring! :D Quick lil dive on how if you're neurodivergent, you might be better-off setting process-based goals instead of outcome-based goals. Outcome-based goals tend to be fairly rigid, and often feel very 'far away'. With process-based goals, we are here to have you feeling focusing on there here & now, and the present that's right in front of you—not a distant dream for a some-day, one-day future! 

In this episode, I'm sharing a recent discovery about a "program" that runs in my brain when I'm feeling unsafe: the belief that I need to do MORE to fix it and reach safety. But the truth is, doing more & more & more only heightens my stress and anxiety—and makes me feel very, very unsafe. I'm talking about a framework and perspective on what actually reinforces the experience of safety—not to fix the problem at hand, but to close the loop on the "I'm not doing enough" program itself.

I think I might actually be coming out of burnout—and the turning point was... an allergy spray? In this episode, I'm sharing my experiences navigating burnout, the subtle shifts and surprising changes I've been noticing lately, and how a new medication has unexpectedly started reshaping my relationship with work, rest, and energy. If you've ever struggled with burnout, this one's for you.

Disclaimer: This episode is not medical advice. It reflects my personal, highly subjective experiences with ACT, CBT, and DBT. Please talk to a qualified professional for support tailored to you!

Resources:
dbt.tools
Book rec: ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris

In today's episode I'm sharing a tool for reflection and curiosity that I am LOVING for building intimacy around the things you want/love to do (but are finding very hard to do!). Updates on how I've figured out what works for my brain & body around movement, and ways that I've incorporated what works for me with movement into my writing practice!

Instagram Post: Thinking about doing the thing COUNTS as doing the thing
Essay: 'This Counts as Work' for Burnout Recovery

In this episode, I chat through my thoughts on why I don’t use transactional rewards systems. This is more of an exploratory, verbally-processing kind of episode as I try to untangle my feelings about rewards, motivation, and what actually works for me (and maybe for you too!). It’s a casual, chatty deep dive into the nuance of motivation and why gold stars don’t always do it for me.

An introspective exploration after reading Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman! Thoughts about what I enjoyed from this book, what didn't hit for me, and what still chewing on after reading in. SPOILERS AHEAD!

I've felt this way for a long time... Why do I feel such a strong dislike towards reading books about ADHD? I'm an ADHD coach! Should I enjoy them??? Diving in with you to explore why, and sharing some *book recs* for the books I absolutely freaking ADORED and what made them different!

**Thank you for being patient as I refigure my audio quality settings! This episode has a lot of pops in it, and I wish it didn't—I promise I'm trying really hard to work out new settings after having to move my setup into th...

I've had a REALIZATION hit me the last few days on why I'm no longer using apps/services like Flow Club (Ep 57) or even the Capacity Compass I talked about earlier this week (Ep 59)—they are too filled with *demands* to be sustainable for my brain wiring. Here's what happened for me to realize this, and the "strategy" I am replacing them with to reclaim my autonomy!

Episode 3: Intentional Novelty

Apps/Services Mentioned:
RescueTime
Boss As a Service
Flow Club

Look, some days you're ready to conquer the world and some days putting on matching socks feels like a win. In this episode, we're diving into a chill way to roll with whatever energy you've got: the high/medium/low capacity compass! It's like a choose-your-own-adventure for your tasks, but make it realistic. No more pretending you're a productivity robot - instead, pick from your personalized menu of options based on whether you're feeling like a sparkly unicorn or more like a sleepy sloth. Because hey, doing something small still counts as doing the thing!

The difference between setting "goals" and setting "intentions" and sharing my dreams for 2025! Do you have some for this year? Share with me @comfortandkindness on Instagram, or tina@comfortandkindness.co. You can also find my latest essays & newsletter archive over on Substack! 

I love feeling shiny. But sometimes, I'm my sparkly, warm self and it ends up getting me hurt. Is this just masking? Is this a trauma response—fawning? Is it patriarchal expectations that have been brainwashed into me? Or is it my authentic nature? How do I untangle it all? And what's the reason why all of the help I've received in therapy ("just set boundaries!!) has never been enough? Find out why with me in this episode.

Have you ever tried the platform 'Flow Club' for body doubling?! I actually am so surprised, but I really have been enjoying it this week!! Breaking down why I prefer it over other platforms like FocusMate—this is coming as someone who historically has loathed and detested body doubling on principle (and I have a whole episode that explains why—Ep 41, When body doubling feels like Masking!). Take a peek!! Here's a link to try it out!

Just a quick little ep to break the seal for me when it comes to podcast recording again—Updating you on my life after Hurricane Helene, the challenges I am navigating, the priorities I have for taking care of myself, and the mindsets that are carrying me through. ❤️‍🩹

In this episode, I dive into the difference between intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation, especially for those of us with ADHD. Learn how to build and nurture your own intrinsic motivation to get things done in a way that feels good and sustainable. Whether you're tired of relying on external rewards or struggling to tap into your inner drive, this one's for you!